MTRC Relaunch...We're Back in Business, People.

After a lengthy hiatus, I'm proud to announce that the Minnesota Twins Re-Education Center is going to be a go for the 2010 season! Like many nowadays, the MTRC was not immune to the tough economic times besetting the country currently, but thankfully a few of my most loyal supporters came through in a big way to provide the funding to maintain this site. So, to Donna, Terry, Hank, and Betsy, a big THANK YOU is graciously extended. As many of you know, the apiary business has not turned out to be an adequate source of part-time cash, and even with my Roth IRA not totally tanking, I needed to tend to the more important things over the winter; hence, the MTRC essentially shut down for a few months. But those four wonderful folks mentioned above wanted to see the MTRC return for this season and paid for that privilege. Our mission statement for 2010: Bigger and better this year. Hank Rickenbacher, who many of you voiced positive responses following his guest gig at the end of last year, has agreed to step into an elevated role for this season. You'll still be mostly hearing from me, but Hank will be featured here on something like a weekly/bi-weekly basis. I, for one, am excited to welcome Hank to the full-time staff here. Like hell I'd ask Mr. Rogers to be my neighbor -- I'm blessed to have Hank and his lovely wife Betsy (who makes the meanest oatmeal-raisin cookies, by the way) live so close by.

Now to get to the stuff you're hear to read about...

A secondary reason that I was resistant to relaunching the blog for the 2010 season was that I thought the Twins weren't going to be as underachieving (and, hence, having the potential for a hilariously pessimistic blog) as last season. They made some good moves in the offseason -- great moves if you count who won't be on the 2010 roster ([cough] Carlos Gomez [cough]). The middle of the field is greatly strengthened for 2010 -- J.J. Hardy provides a much-needed offensive spark at shortstop, and Orlando Hudson was almost too shrewd a move for the front-office to make; you'd think they'd prefer having Matt Tolbert sucking up scoring opportunities in the 2 hole like it's nobody's business. Add Denard Span playing center field full time (like he should have been for the past two seasons) and a locked-up Joe Mauer -- that's a potent combination down the middle. The Twins' other "significant" moves over the offseason were pretty humdrum -- the Jim Thome signing still confuses me, as I don't see him getting all that many at-bats, but at least he'll be a home run threat off the bench, and Clay Condrey might as well be a Matt Guerrier in disguise. At least Condrey's presence will give Ron Gardenhire one more serviceable option to blow leads in the seventh and eighth innings.


That's a good segue to the biggest news for the Twins since they opened spring training in Fort Myers, the Joe Nathan situation. Nathan's done for the 2010 season, about to undergo Tommy John surgery, seemingly dealing a devastating blow for the Twins in the bullpen. Sure, Nathan's a great closer -- right up there with Mariano Rivera in my book in terms of the best closers in the game. But we're talking about a closer here for crissakes -- someone who pitches one inning a game maybe three times a week. As lights out as Nathan can be, let me say it here -- he is replaceable. For any other team in the league and any other manager, Nathan's absence can be overcome through a little roster tinkering and a little inspiration and coddling by the coaching staff. But we're talking about the Tweedledee-Tweedledum regime of Ron Gardenhire and Rick Anderson here. Here's a pair of clowns who didn't know how to manage a pitching staff with a healthy Joe Nathan. Now that you take the all-star stopper out of the mix, I'd just as soon suspect Ron Gardenhire is going to dictate his relievers' appearances by drawing names out of a hat.

What the Twins should be doing right about now is exploring outside options. It can be a blessing that Nathan's injury occurred before the season, as it could give them some time to address the issue before the games counted for real. But let's be honest -- Bill Smith already went over budget when he signed Hudson for $3.5 million, and then he signed Mauer for his deserved extension. Do you think Smith is ready to pony up another few million to add a Heath Bell (the best choice) or a Kerry Wood (a distant #2 option)? Doubtful at best. Most likely the Twins will turn to in-house options [gulp] Jon Rauch, Matt Guerrier, and the like. Francisco Liriano's name has been bandied about in regards to the closer's job, and I for one would welcome Liriano in that capacity if they are going to go with an in-house replacement. He probably doesn't have the meddle to handle the stress that comes with the job, but Liriano usually unravels after two or three innings in his starts -- meaning that his first inning or two is usually solid. That being said, he's probably a LaTroy Hawkins in the making, and I doubt that Ron Gardenhire would want to throw Liriano in that position to start the season, even if he was their best candidate (Gardenhire, of course, struggles making talent-based decisions [see Punto, Nick]).

Either way you think about it, the closer's job is definitely replaceable. Even a pitcher with a solid 3.00 ERA is going to give up a run every three innings, and you just hope that that run is surrendered when the team is up by more than one run. And it's not like Joe Nathan was rock solid all the time -- his playoff record is, well, checkered at best (see the 2004 and 2009 playoffs against the Yankees), and his blown saves down the stretch in 2008 were a major reason the team didn't qualify for the postseason that season. A big loss, for sure, but one that can be overcome.

Photos: (1) www.babble.com/; (2, 4) AP/Steven Senne; (3) www.fullcountpitch.com

OCTOBER 9, 2009 -- NEW YORK 4, MINNESOTA 3 (11 innings)

Wow. Unbelievable. As I've said before, you can't lose these games unless you try, or unless you're just in a new category of "pathetic" that I'm just unaware of. Leading 3-1 going into the botom of the ninth, Joe Nathan gives up a single and a mammoth home run to Alex Rodriguez to give up the lead, and then Mark Teixeira comes back in the 11th inning with the game-winning homer off Jose Mijares. Ron Gardenhire didn't do anything during the game that lost the game outright; rather, it was his filling out the lineup that lost the game for the Twins on Friday. I think I thought out loud at least three times as to why Carlos Gomez is even on a major-league roster, much less in the starting lineup in a playoff game. The guy is such absolute doggie do-do that it's hilarious that people actually give the Twins a chance in this series. If I would have known that Gomez would have played Friday, I might as well have just slept through it. Unbelievable that Ron Gardenhire is that stupid. Manager of the Year my ass.


What's even funnier than that is that Brendan Harris propelled the Twins to what would have been a win, and Harris wasn't even in the starting lineup -- Matt Tolbert was, of course. It had to take a pulled muscle to get Tolbert out of the game, and there was Harris, providing the go-ahead triple in the sixth, the key hit to set up the two-run eighth for the Twins, and chipping in on defense with a miraculous Web gem later in the game. The bottom three guys in the Twins lineup -- Gomez, Tolbert, and Punto -- that's Washington Nationals "bad", Pittsburgh Pirates "bad." And you still should have won the game -- unreal. I'll give Punto props, as he delivered a clutch two-out hit in the eighth to put the Twins on top (that hit will probably keep him around for another four years). But I'm not giving Ron Gardenhire props, who I hope was joking when he told TBS reporter/snappy dresser Craig Sager that Punto was "the second best athlete on the team" next to Joe Mauer. That quote prompted me to look up the word 'athlete' in the dictionary, because I don't think Gardy and I are on the same page so to speak. Here it is from dictionary.com:


ath⋅lete 
–noun
a person trained or gifted in exercises or contests involving physical agility, stamina, or strength; a participant in a sport, exercise, or game requiring physical skill. (my emphasis)


OK -- so it doesn't necessary say they have to be good at sports, but merely a participant. But using the modifier "second best" implies that they are good at a particular sport, which just seals the deal -- Ron Gardenhire is the most idiotic, demented, insane man in the game of baseball. If you can hit .220 and play average defense, kids, you're a gold medalist in one man's book. Wow.


Let's get back to Gomez, who was the clear goat in the game. The guy can flat out fly, which was apparently the reason (defense, Gardy'd say, too) that he is even on the postseason roster. Yet Gomez is one of the absolute worst baserunners I've ever seen in my life, and that stupidity cost the Twins a run in the fourth inning. Tolbert actually came through with a hit off Yankee starter A.J. Burnett, sending Seldom Young home with the first run of the game. But wait -- Gomez tripped over his own shoes rounding second and was tagged out trying to go back to second before Young touched home plate, thereby nullifying the run scoring. Just an idiotic turn of events there -- Gomez should be trotting into second base and planting himself there. You're not going first to third there in a million years (I suppose the moronic Gomez probably thought he could), and at the very least, force a run-down so you ensure that the run scores. That blunder was basically the difference in the game, as Gomez proved to everyone, this time on a national scale, that he doesn't belong in the big leagues. But at least Gomez acknowledged his error in a postgame interview, offering his apologies by saying it was "my bad." Oh, OK. I needed that, Carlos.


But that wouldn't be enough for a guy who sucks as bad as Gomez. He had to come through again in the 11th inning, when the Twins started the inning with three straight singles. Seldom Young lined out on the first pitch he saw from reliever David Robertson; that's to be expected from Seldom. Then Ron Gardenhire has Carlos Gomez hit for himself. Huge mistake, Gardy. I'll quote myself from my Doghouse post on Gomez that I wrote way back in June: "This is what Gomez means to me: if the Twins are down by a run in the late innings and the tying run is on third base with one out, Gomez is the last hitter I want at the plate. I'd rather have a pitcher at the plate -- Kevin Slowey, Nick Blackburn, Joe Nathan, hell, even Nick Punto. Gomez folds in the clutch like it's nobody's business, and it's the listless hitting approach and non-existent instincts that make him a Doghouse Denizen for life." Pretty much the same scenario, except that the Twins were tied and would have gone ahead if Gomez can just get the ball in the air. Nope. Instead, he takes one of the most pathetic swings I've ever seen in my life and taps out to first base, and Teixeira throws home to force the runner. Harris flew out after Gomez, and Teixeira would end the game leading off the bottom half of the eleventh. Hooray, Ron Gardenhire! That stroke of managerial prowess lost you another game in the Bronx!


I would like to add that right field umpire Phil Cuzzi delivered one of the absolute worst calls I've ever seen in my life in the eleventh, such a bad call that it makes Mike Muchlinski's infamous home-plate call to end the Oakland Disaster look like a great call. I've always wondered why MLB has outfield umpires in the playoffs; it seems to me that it just means that two more umps can get the calls wrong. Cuzzi is literally fifteen feet away from watching Joe Mauer's fly ball land at least two feet fair and he calls it foul. What's more, outfielder Melky Cabrera touched the ball with his glove! The guy is planted stationary on the field watching nothing but the foul line, and he still gets it wrong. It's just like Richie Garcia's vomit-inducing call in the '96 ALCS when he said that Jeffrey Maier didn't lean over the fence and turn a fly ball into a home run -- the only thing that these outfield umps can do is screw up calls. Now, a lot of people are going to look at that call and do a Gardy and blame the loss on the umpires, but it's hard to tell what would have happened if Mauer had been on second base. Jason Kubel probably would have been trying to "get the guy over to third," i.e. pull the ball on the right side of the infield, and who knows if he would have gotten a hit or not. It likely would have still been up to Seldom Young and Carlos Gomez to blow it in the clutch. And there's no excuses to leaving SEVENTEEN guys on base. But Phil Cuzzi -- jeez, are you that much a Yankee fan or are you simply blind?
Photos: (1,3) AP/Julie Jacobson; (2,4) AP/Kathy Willens; (5) Reuters Pictures

OCTOBER 6, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 6, DETROIT 5 (12 innings)

I've got to tell you guys -- with a little salt and pepper, crow actually doesn't taste that bad. I'm more than happy to eat a little crow, however, after the Twins completed their miraculous comeback to win the Central Division title (or, as Ron Gardenhire calls it, the Holy Grail). In many ways Tuesday's tiebreaker was a whole lot like the majority of Twins games -- plenty of missed opportunities by guys that are deservedly in The Doghouse, some lucky breaks that go the Twins way, and in the end a Doghouse Denizen gets the game-winning hit. I kind of saw Alexi Casilla's game-winner coming, as he had failed to score the winning run a few innings before due to his stupidity; granted, that was on a Nick Punto sacrifice fly, and at least God has a sense of humor, or at least good sense, because Nick Punto just cannot win the biggest game of the season for the Twins. All in all, it was a whale of a game, and now they get to go to the Bronx and throw Brian Duensing to the wolves. I've heard it all been said -- "anything can happen in October" -- but a Twins win over the Yankees here would be nothing short of apocalyptic. Whatever. Go get 'em, Douchebag.

I had the pleasure (I guess) of watching most of the second half of the game at a local watering hole, and it was there that I found some startling facts out about certain Twins fans. One, that some Twins fans actually like Matt Tolbert, which I thought was damn near impossible. I thought the only reaction any person could have regarding Matt Tolbert was that he was absolute garbage on the baseball diamond. Another was that a lot of people were surprised when Matty Guerrier delivered his most timely Matt Guerrier Special of the season. I predicted Guerrier would blow the lead once Orlando Cabrera put the Twins ahead in the seventh with his home run (everybody was just going nuts over Cabrera, saying that he'd been the biggest piece of the puzzle and the key for the Twins' turnaround!) and got some knowing glances once Magglio Ordonez promptly tied it off Guerrier in the eighth. These "fans" also weren't livid when Ron Gardenhire, in his infinite wisdom, burned his bullpen by the eighth inning and had to get two innings out of Joe Nathan, then had to turn to Jesse Crain and Bobby Keppel to preserve the tie. Crain gave up the lead, and the Twins were bailed out only because Ryan Raburn lost Michael Cuddyer's liner in the lights and misplayed it for a triple. Keppel gave up the lead, too, but umpiring saved the Twins big time in the 12th. With the bases jammed, Keppel clearly grazed Brandon Inge's jersey with a pitch, but home plate umpire Randy Marsh didn't see it that way, and that turned out to be the biggest call of the game, as Inge would force out a runner at home and Gerald Laird struck out to end the inning. As always, the Twins rely on a little bit of luck, both with their ballpark and the men in blue.

I probably could go on further about the game, but let's just leave it at that. It was a terrific, exciting thriller that will go down in Metrodome lore. It's almost too bad that they have to get their butts kicked by the Yankees; if only that could be the swan song on the Teflon Treasure. As mentioned before, Duensing pitches today for the Twins at 5:07 local time, and he opposes Twins killer C.C. Sabathia. Sabathia's 13-8 with a ERA just about 3 in his career against the Twins, and he seems to pitch exceptionally better when there's something on the line. Like everybody says, anything can happen in October, and the Twins are hot. But as Tuesday's contest showed, the Twins' biggest problem remains the bottom of the order. How many times in the game did Matt Tolbert and Nick Punto come up with the game on the line? How many times did Ron Gardenhire let those two slugs hit? That will come back to haunt them against New York, mark my words.

Photos: (1)AP & Star Tribune/Brian Peterson; (2)AP/Tom Olmscheid; (3)AP/Paul Battaglia

SEPTEMBER 29, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 3-5, DETROIT 2-6

The Twins and Tigers split the twinbill that was prompted by Monday's rain showers, and unfortunately the Twins open play on Wednesday in exactly the same position that they did on Tuesday. Frankly the Twins were lucky to get a split, as they nearly lost the first game all by themselves (namely Mr. Nick Punto). It's ironic that the play from guys like Tolbert and Punto have not been May-esque, i.e. they haven't been losing games consistently like they've done most of the season (or their careers for that matter). What's worse is that this two week stretch of decent play from these guys has made Ron Gardenhire believe that they can be trusted in huge situations. When the season's on the line, Nick Punto will show his true colors, and that wasn't more evident in the ninth inning of the first game, when his suicide squeeze turned out to be one of the most pathetic "ploys" by a "contending" team I've ever seen. It failed miserably for Gardy and company, and if not for a great catch by Denard Span in the bottom of the ninth, the Twins wouldn't have had the opportunity to win it in extra frames.

And then the nightcap, where Brian Duensing reverted back to his Douchebag status, at least for 4 and 2/3 innings, when he graciously put the team in a 5-0 hole. The Twins clawed back, getting back to 5-4 against Tigers ace Justin Verlander, but still could not afford the big hit in the big situation. Jim Leyland, to his credit, kept his ace pitcher in for the pressure situations. For the second time this month, he let Verlander pitch into the eighth inning against the Twins when his pitch count was over 120, something that Ron Gardenhire would probably have a heart attack just thinking about. Verlander got the strikeouts in the clutch situations, and certainly deserved to win. The game was still within reach, however, until Matty Guerrier came in to "hold the fort" down in the eighth, and he gave up that oh-so-important insurance run compliments of a Curtis Granderson home run. Sure enough, the Twins rally to get one run in the top of the ninth (ironically, on a fly ball Granderson misplayed for a double). Guerrier hasn't pitched much of late and the least he can do is get three guys out to protect a one-run deficit. But we all know that Guerrier late in the season loves to suck, so this was a fitting performance from a terrible reliever.

I'm not willing to forget that ninth inning quickly, either, when Ron Gardenhire, in his infinite wisdom, allowed Tolbert and Punto to hit for themselves against Tiger closer Fernando Rodney. Punto was up there and his fly ball to Granderson was nothing more than a medium-deep drive to center that Granderson misplayed. In other words, Gardenhire was willing to end the game with Nick Punto at the plate. Yeah, both players have been playing better and they're no longer flirting with the Mendoza Line. But the fact remains is that both players are still pathetic excuses for a major league baseball player. Tolbert's hitting a paltry .223, and Punto's .232 average is certainly peckish. You've got guys on the bench that, while they're not all that great (Buscher and Harris come to mind immediately), they're not in the league of futility that those to "ballplayers" belong in. But if you ask Ron Gardenhire, I guarantee he'll tell you that a major reason the Twins have gotten back in the race is because of Punto and Tolbert hitting "like they're capable of." This is who we're dealing with, people. A man who has faith in Nick Punto.

The Twins get to face the Tigers' version of Douchebag (or would it be Manship?) in Eddie Bonine tonight, but let's not forget that Bonine took a no-hitter into the sixth inning in his last start against the White Sox before finally giving up a few runs. Carl Pavano's been great against the Tigers this year, and expect Dick Bremer to mention that about fifteen times before 6:30. For all intents and purposes, the Twins need to win the last two games to have a realistic shot at the division. Something tells me that this has all been one big tease.
Photos: (1) AP/Paul Sancya; (2,3) AP/Duane Burleson

SEPTEMBER 22, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 8, CHICAGO 6

The Twins outslug the White Sox on Tuesday, using four home runs to beat up on Jon Danks and the Pale Hose. Pitching wasn't great on either side of the diamond, as the Twins' Jeff Manship continued to confuse Twins fans as to why this guy is even in the big leagues to begin with, much less starting critical games down the stretch in a pennant race. Francisco Liriano couldn't pick up the trash, either, and it turned out that Jesse Crain, quickly becoming the vulture of the bullpen, actually got the win. The Twins spread out their offense again, using another good game from Michael Cuddyer, who seems to be either going 3 for 4 with a home run and multiple ribbies or he goes 0 for 4 with seven men left on base. Orlando Cabrera got the scoring started early with a two-run homer in the first, and even guys like Matt Tolbert got into the action by hitting a home run in the sixth inning. That's two career home runs for Tolbert, and they've both come at U.S. Cellular Field -- talk about a strange coincidence.

The Tigers won in Cleveland, however, dropping their magic number to ten games. Though the Twins certainly still have a shot at the division crown, it appears that this run of good baseball -- clearly the best they've played for any two weeks this entire season -- is a tragic case of too little, too late. Can you imagine where the Twins would be if Cuddyer could have played with the Superman cape on all season? Where would the Twins be if Nick Punto had merely flirted with .230 all season long instead of having to make a strong case for the worst all-around player in big league history? Or how about if the bullpen had even remotely shown the fans a smidgen of what they've seen lately -- namely, little of Bobby Keppel and R.A. Dickey, and a lot of Joe Nathan and Jose Mijares and a solid Matt Guerrier? A Seldom Young that didn't go 0 for 4 with three strikeouts on a daily basis, but one that can chip in a hit or two here or there? When you play a 162-game schedule, consistency is the name of the game in order to get into the playoffs, and frankly the Twins just haven't deserved to get into the playoffs based on their lack of consistency. But, for whatever it's worth, they are making the final few weeks of the season meaningful, and I know I'm not the only one that is glad that the Twins are making a late-season push for the playoffs. The major sports networks like ESPN are pleased as punch that the Twins are making it at least mildly interesting, because the rest of the league is mired in playoff-fever-immunity. So much for that "competitive balance," Mr. Selig, as it seems like the big spenders are getting their way this season, at the expense of the fans and any sort of September excitement.

Photos: AP/Charles Rex Arbogast

SEPTEMBER 18, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 3, DETROIT 0

Brian Duensing gets to retain his "maiden" last name at least for one more start, as he tosses shutout ball into the seventh inning, leading the Twins to a breezy 3-0 win against the suddenly reeling Tigers. Michael Cuddyer continued his run of brilliance -- easily it's the best he's ever hit the ball in the big leagues -- with a two-run home run off Rick Porcello in the fourth inning that turned out to be the only runs necessary for Duensing and the Twins. The lead has been cut to three games over Detroit, and it's quite evident that all the pressure is on the Tigers at this point in the season. Maybe the injuries to Justin Morneau and Joe Crede inadvertently helped the Twins, as the critics (myself included) pointed to those injuries as the last straw for the Twins to come back. But considering the number the Twins have on Detroit at home, I would frankly be surprised if the Twins don't sweep this weekend. The big test for the Twins is going to be the ten-game road trip following this weekend's series. All season long the Twins have been a different team on the road, and with their track record being what it is in Chicago and with the Royals being perennial September headaches for contending teams, the Twins might be in a world of trouble even before they head to Detroit for a pivotal four-game series at Comerica. Whatever the case is, the Twins need to focus on this weekend's games first, and take care of business in their own ballpark before they head out to Chicago.


Ron Gardenhire showed a stroke of sanity by proclaiming that Jose Morales is going to be playing more regularly as a designated hitter due to his hot bat. Morales is 9 for 20 since being recalled for like the fourth time this season, which has only increased his batting average more, to a lofty .368. This kind of move (one that involves logic and common sense) is nothing short of baffling when you realize who's making the move -- King of Illogicism himself, Mr. Ron Gardenhire. Though he's sure making up for his good decision to play Morales more by doing things like put Matt Tolbert in the everyday lineup again. Look, Brendan Harris isn't going to win a Gold Glove or a batting title any time soon, but jeez, Gardy. Matt Tolbert is a horrendous excuse for a ballplayer. He's like a weak punchline to an already bad comedic set-up; in other words, he's the baseball equivalent of Rush Hour 2. But Gardenhire is literally in love with Tolbert, like touchy-feely in love, apparently, because there's no reason for that sad-sack to be playing in any baseball game anywhere. If the Twins lose the division, a big reason is probably going to be Matt Tolbert. Count on that.


Justin Verlander is a Cy Young candidate again, but the Twins have seemed to always handle him, and he goes today against Carl Pavano. I'll have to pleasure of attending today's game, as it will be the last time (most likely) that I'll be able to catch a baseball game at the Dome. I can't wait!

Photos: (1) AP/Paul Battaglia; (2) http://girllovesbaseball.blogspot.com

SEPTEMBER 14, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 6, CLEVELAND 3

Again the Twins sleepwalk through seven shutout innings against mediocre-at-best Jeremy Sowers, and it appeared as if the Twins were on their way, thanks to a late comeback win by the Tigers, to falling further behind Detroit. But then a funny thing happened on the way to third place: the Twins came back, picking themselves off the mat. A clutch three-run home run off the bat of Michael Cuddyer (no, really!) tied the game off reliever Chris Perez, and then the Twins used rinky-dinky cheeseball to take the lead. Matt Tolbert, playing in a "pennant race" for some reason, doinked a bloop double behind third base after Seldom Young had singled, and Young would score on a wild pitch/passed ball. Jason Kubel would launch a home run later in the at-bat, and the Twins' six-spot they put on the board in the eighth was enough to carry them past the pitiful Indians. It was nice to see the Twins win a game when their opponents' reliever put up a Matt Guerrier Special, but the biggest news of the night would come to the surface during the post-game interviews.


Justin Morneau's done for the season, as is Joe Crede's (most likely), as both players' backs have officially crapped out. Morneau, frankly, has been nothing short of terrible lately, but it goes without saying that this injury is potentially fatal for the Twins' chances of holding on to second place. Add Crede's injury, and that means a few things: one, it means more playing time for guys like Carlos Gomez and/or Seldom Young, and it means more playing time for Nick Punto and/or Matt Tolbert. Any way you cut it, the two injuries makes the Twins that much worse offensively. Especially when you have a manager who's willing to play guys like Matt Tolbert in "key games down the stretch," these injuries will force Ron Gardenhire to be creative, which is kind of like asking a kindergartener to go without cake at his birthday party. Lots of tears will ensue and it'll probably mean that you'll have to clean the drapes afterwards.


If the Twins want any shot at first place, they'll have to sweep the Tigers this weekend at the Dome, and if they really want that to happen, they're going to have to win these games against an inferior opponent in order to gain momentum. Scott Baker has been pitching lights-out as of late, and he faces Fausto Carmona, owner of some pretty ugly numbers who mowed down the Twins the last time he faced them.

Photos: (1) AP/Jim Mone; (2) AP/Ben Margot

JULY 17, 2009 -- Reader Mail #1

Howdy, folks, and I am proud to present the first segment of Reader's Mail here at the MTRC. I got plenty of e-mails posing questions on a broad variety of subjects, so what I decided is that this segment is just one of many that will be posted here when things are slow around the Center. I appreciate all the e-mails that I did receive and I encourage those to keep them coming. Here's just a sampling of the stuff that I got, and remember -- if your question was not answered here, it will most likely be featured in a future installment of Reader's Mail.


From Dave in St. Peter --

Hey Eisenhower, I'm wondering what you think about Rick Anderson. I know that you're very critical of Ron Gardenhire and I'll be honest -- I like the guy. I can see where you're coming from though. But what's your take on Rick Anderson?


Thanks Dave for the good question. For me, Rick Anderson and Ron Gardenhire are ideal bedfellows, as their philosophies go hand in hand. It's kind of like the old question of what came first, the chicken or the egg, with these two numbskulls. Is it Anderson that initiated the 100-pitch limit (not pitch count, as it's as strict as it can be), or was that Gardenhire all along? What can be said about both of these guys is that they failed so pathetically in their own playing careers -- both getting cups of coffee for the Mets in the early to mid-'80s -- that they really can't impart any real experience to their players. More often than not, they're running on book knowledge of the game. Their coaching philosophies are very similar to Tony LaRussa and Dave Duncan, who really revolutionized the game with their greater usage of a bullpen and not stretching their starters out too long. Hey, if you look at the numbers that the pitching staff has put up in the past, it would be easy to lionize Anderson as a successful pitching coach. One rule I have will all the Twins is "What have you done for me lately," and the pitching staff this season has been far from superb. And secondly, Anderson was grateful to have guys like Johan Santana, Brad Radke, and Francisco Liriano (2006 version) on his staff. Those guys didn't really need a whole lot of coaching. But, like Gardenhire, Anderson is a stubborn, unchanging coach who still coaches his pitching staff as if it were 2004. Both coaches need a greater flexibility and a willingness to adapt to current situations.


From Nick in Plymouth --


I was wondering why the Twins insist on keeping catcher Mike Redmond as the second string catcher when a younger, less injury prone catcher, Jose Morales is hitting .343? From what I hear is Mike Redmond is a great guy to have in the clubhouse, but what ever happened letting the best player play for the better of the team? It’s not little league where everyone gets a chance to play.


Great timely question, Nick. It's timely because the Twins, for the fourteen-hundredth time this season, sent down Morales in favor of a third long-man out of the bullpen, Kevin Mulvey. Mulvey was one of the low-level prospects the Twins netted in the disastrous Santana trade, and with him in the bullpen, that means that he joins R.A. Dickey and Bobby Keppel as long-relievers when their real need, a eighth-inning stopper, continues to go unaddressed. And compounding this head-scratching move is the fact that Morales has continued to be ignored by Gardenhire and the regime. You're exactly right, Nick -- Mike Redmond, while being a classy, hard-nosed guy, is way over the hill. He plain can't hit, his defensive skills are average at best, and the pitching staff has struggled when Redmond has caught them. Redmond just doesn't have much left in the tank, but because the Twins owe Redmond money, they'd rather have Morales, a guy who's hit every time he's been called up, languish in Triple-A. And with Joe Mauer on the team, you need to DH Mauer on those days that he doesn't catch, and that means that Redmond is essentially the only catcher on the roster those days. You'd think that doesn't mean a whole lot, but earlier in the season the Twins were screwed when Redmond was unexpectedly thrown out of the game and Mauer had to catch, thereby eliminating the DH for the game and making the pitcher have to hit. You really don't need three long-relievers on any team at any time, so keep Morales on the team as your third catcher (and, in actuality, your second best catcher). It makes zero sense to keep Redmond over Morales at this point, but remember that we're dealing with Ron Gardenhire, who doesn't tend to make a ton of logical decisions concerning his team. All that we can hope is that Mike Redmond retires at the end of the season, because we know that if he wants to play, the Twins will gladly overpay him.


Donna from Sioux Falls, SD says --

Hi Eisenhower! You do a great job with the blog. I was just wondering about how you got your name -- it's very original and I almost wish I could go back and name one of my kids Eisenhower. Are you named after Dwight Eisenhower?


Thanks for the email, Donna. Yes, I was named after our great 34th president and military genius, Dwight David Eisenhower. My parents were lifelong Republicans and my father served in World War II in the European Theater. Though he did not serve directly under Eisenhower's command, he was my father's hero, and when I was born in the mid-'50s, my folks decided to honor him by naming me after him. I will say that I was made fun of when I was younger for the name, and in response I prefered the name Howie for a long time. But in my later years I've embraced the name, and I even extended that gratitude when my first daughter was born. I paid homage to my folks by deciding to name my daughter Reagan, after the newly-sworn in president at that time. And some people still ask me -- if your parents wished to honor Eisenhower, why not name me Dwight? Or David? But I'm glad that they didn't, and I've learned to really love my handle.


From Pete in Richfield --

[In response to my post regarding the Twins calling up Alexi Casilla and sending Matt Tolbert to Triple-A], Casilla isn’t that bad. Tolbert was. Hustle and effort only go so far, then you have to rely on talent, and Casilla has shown by last year’s performance that he has some talent[...]Finally, if Terry Ryan Jr. doesn’t get off his hands and make a deal, the fans may leave in droves in August and September. Billy Smith has done one thing better than any other GM in baseball: NOTHING.


Casilla did have a good year last year, but at the beginning of this season I did predict a crash down to earth. Not in my wildest dreams did I think he'd do this bad, but I figured that 2008 was a fluke and that appears to be the case. It's not too often that a guy goes down to the minors, gets called back up again, and plays worse than he had before being sent down for the first time. After all, the guy was hitting a mere .170 when he was first sent down, but somehow he played even worse the second go-round, and his defensive play is an absolute joke. If I was Bill Smith I would have put Casilla on my Do Not Call List and have him play the rest of the season in the minor leagues to get his act together. Now, as far as a Tolbert vs. Casilla argument goes, I guess I can agree with you, seeing as Casilla at least has had some success at the majors, and Tolbert not only has not played well in the big leagues, but he has been supremely average in the minors as well. He didn't deserve to be in the big leagues in the first place and certainly hasn't earned a spot to stay. And I totally agree with your analysis of Bill Smith, but I wouldn't expect anything drastic from the front-office. The only guy that the Twins have signed as a free-agent in the last five years that has actually panned out is Joe Crede, and has anyone noticed how they're handling that situation? Check out the stipulations of Crede's contract that he signed in the late winter. It's only a $2 million base salary, and he could make as much as $7 million if he reaches a certain amount of at-bats. But Crede's basically a player who plays four to five days a week, and there's absolutely no way that he makes the maximum amount of his deal. I'm not surprised one bit, because we're talking about the cheapest organization in professional sports -- for every hangnail, scratch, flake of dandruff, cough or burp that Crede produces, the Twins immediately bench him "for precautionary measures," but more importantly that means a few extra bucks that the Twins can save. The guy's on pace to hit over 25 homers, but the Twins would rather play Brian Buscher a couple days a week so they can save money on Joe Crede. Ridiculous.


That concludes the first edition of Reader's Mail, and expect more such segments throughout the year and especially during the off-season. I had a blast doing this and I beg of you -- please keep the e-mails coming. Even if you disagree with me -- especially if you disagree with me, in fact -- don't feel afraid to let your comments known.

JULY 12, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 13, CHICAGO 7

The Twins have their hitting shoes on against Mark Buehrle on Sunday, hitting three home runs off the All-Star and knocking him out after four innings. With an 8-1 lead, you'd like to think you're on cruise control, but with the Twins, no lead is safe. Sure enough, Scott Baker gives up a three-run home run to Jim Thome and gives way to the bullpen in the seventh inning. The biggest out of the game was gotten by Matt Guerrier, who induced a pop-up off the bat of the dangerous Jermaine Dye to leave the bases loaded with the score 8-5. Guerrier's first half of the season has really been stellar, as he's not really collapsed as held steady for the Twins. Had Guerrier replicated his second half of 2008 in the first half, the Twins wouldn't be near .500, but of course there's always a silver lining. Guerrier and Mijares have been doing to job fine, but aside from that the Twins still don't have anybody else in that bullpen that can bridge the gap to Joe Nathan. The Luis Ayala experiment was a disaster (did anyone see that the Florida Marlins were crazy enough to bring this guy back to the majors -- I feel bad for those in Miami right about now) and Sean Henn and/or Brian Duensing have been brutal. R.A. Dickey's role was gradually getting more important but has struggled of late and appears to be back in his long-relief role, and for however many times Ron Gardenhire will try, I don't have any confidence that Bobby Keppel will continue to get batters out consistently. That being said, Guerrier and Mijares will be supremely overworked in the second half, and you can expect the same thing to happen this year than last. The only difference is that the division likely won't be at stake, since the Twins will probably fade by August, but expect many more Matt Guerrier Specials in the later months of the season. I can guarantee that.


Speaking of people in The Doghouse, Carlos Gomez had a great game on Sunday, hitting a three-run home run off Buehrle in the third inning and driving in a career-high five runs on Sunday. Does it do anything to get Gomez out of The Doghouse? Not at all. First off, wipe that shit grin off your face -- that's a start. You had arguably the game of your life and your average is still .235. The way Gomez carries himself is a cross between a gangster rapper and a fifteen year old kid; either way it's as unprofessional as it gets. There's a fine line between confidence and stupidity, and unfortunately with Gomez it's the latter of the two. There's a lot of people who keep saying that Gomez is going to be a star in this league, and I continue to doubt that highly. He may have the talent to one day become a serviceable player, but the attributes that need the most honing are his maturity and his instincts, and these are qualities that you've got to earn playing everyday. To put Gomez in a major-league lineup everyday is killing your team. Send him down to Double-A where he belongs and let him get to know the game, because right now he's playing baseball with a set of blinders on. He has no knowledge of what the game is, and his demeanor reflects that. He's never going to learn that kind of stuff playing in the majors and being constantly overmatched.


While we're on the subject of being overmatched, the Twins stupidly made a roster move Monday that will be official on Friday when the Twins resume play after the All-Star break against the Texas Rangers. They sent down Matt Tolbert and called up Alexi Casilla -- why I'm not quite sure. That's kind of like taking a moldy ham sandwich, throwing out the ham, and putting a turd between the two pieces of moldy bread -- it's definitely not an upgrade. Frankly I don't understand the move because I don't know which of the two players is actually worse. Casilla has absolutely no business being on a major league roster; after the Twins called him up after his first demotion he actually played worse than he had earlier in the season. Matt Tolbert's skills are almost identical to Casilla -- terrible offensively, average to below average defensively. Take your pick -- do you want a moldy ham sandwich or a moldy turd sandwich?

ASK HOWIE

There are no games until Friday as I mentioned before, and I would like to fill the gap by asking my readers to submit their questions to me so I can have a sort of "reader's mail" segment at the Minnesota Twins Re-Education Center. Ask me anything, whether it relates to the Twins, baseball in general, the apiary world, Eno, anything you want. I'd like the segment to be posted later on this week, by Thursday perhaps, so get e-mail me your questions to eisenhowermcsteele@gmail.com. Leave your name and your home city in the email, please. I look forward to it!

JULY 9, 2009 -- NEW YORK 6, MINNESOTA 4

Well, the Twins did it. They were swept in the season series against the Yankees, losing all seven games, including this humiliating three game sweep at your home stadium. Remember all that so-called "momentum" that the Twins had built prior to the Yankees series, winning four consecutive series and narrowing the Tigers' lead over the Twins to two games? Well, that's all gone, as the Twins find themselves at .500, four games out and in third place. With one swift kick to the nuts, the Yankees have brought the Twins down to where they belong, and Thursday's game was more of a mockery of the game of baseball than anything else. What was the difference in the game, you ask? Two at-bats by the Yankees' sore thumb in the lineup -- third baseman Cody Ransom, who came into the game the proud owner of statistics so bad that they remind people of a certain Puntoesque Patheticness. Francisco Liriano walked Ransom with the bases loaded in the three-run second inning, after getting ahead of him 0-2 in the count. Then in the fourth inning, Ransom singled in a run, thereby providing the two runs that turned out to be the difference in the ballgame. Throughout the seven pathetic losses to the Yankees, the Twins were not beaten by Mark Teixeira and A-Rod and Jeter -- it was because of consistent, embarrassing production from the Cody Ransoms and Brett Gardners and Francisco Cervellis that made the difference.


The Twins' made a rash of mistakes on Thursday and quite frankly they had no business being close. Matt Tolbert was batting second and playing second -- all I have to say about that is What??!! and Why??!?!!! Sure as shit, Tolbert makes the key gaffe in the game -- making an error that led to all three runs scoring in the second inning. It's too bad, too, that everyone knew that Tolbert couldn't get those runs back at the plate, because, like everyone in the league is quickly learning, he is absolutely atrocious with the stick. It was around the first Yankee series that Ron Gardenhire first got his head out of his ass and stopped batting the .170-hitting Tolbert in the two hole, but apparently Gardenhire's missed the view of his own intenstines, so there was Tolbert protecting, or rather doing a bad impression of protecting, Joe Mauer in the batting order. Tolbert was able to drive in the run the only possible way he can, by walking with the bases loaded in the fourth inning. Still, the three runs that his error led to in the second inning was enough for the Yankees to beat the Twins again, and once again Twins fans are left scratching their heads, wondering why the hell this horrid excuse for a ballplayer is on a major league roster. Frankly I doubt whether the Kansas City Royals or the Washington Nationals could make good use of Tolbert on their teams -- but for Ron Gardenhire, if you can "hustle," you've got it made in the shade.


Nick Punto is such a terrible -- you know what? I'm just going to save my breath on Punto. We all know what to expect from Punto -- a talentless, vomit-inducing, worthless human being who does absolutely nothing positive for a ballclub. There he was on Thursday, going 0 for 4, dropping his average to an abysmal .211, including striking out with the bases loaded and one out in the fourth. Without question, Punto is the worst ball player I've ever seen, and I'm just going to end it at that.

And what the hell was Justin Morneau thinking in the bottom of the seventh inning? Michael Cuddyer was up, primed to strike out in another clutch situation (representing the tying run), but he never got that chance because Morneau stupidly tried to advance to second on a pitch in the dirt. Jorge Posada picked the ball up and easily threw out Morneau. Factor in Francisco Liriano's horrible pitching performance -- falling behind hitters consistently, throwing forty pitches in the second inning alone, and not appearing to be confident at all with any of his pitches, and the Twins failed at every aspect of the game on Thursday -- pitching, hitting, fielding, and baserunning. Add that to the fact that Ron Gardenhire can't manage to save his life, and that's a great recipe for losing. It's a recipe that Ron Gardenhire has down by heart, in fact, and it especially is used whenever the Twins face the Yankees. Astonishingly, it's the third season out of eight for Ron Gardenhire that the Yankees have swept the Twins in a season series. It happened in Gardy's first two seasons (2002 and 2003) and now it again happens this season. It also makes it two seasons in a row that the Twins have gotten swept in a season series (last year they went 0-6 against the Toronto Blue Jays). For his career, Ron Gardenhire is an amazingly pathetic 16-47 against the Yankees in his career, including, of course, the playoffs. That's head-shakingly terrible, but it's understandable when you realize that he's imparting a certain style of baseball that he believes needs to be played to beat the Yankees. It's classic Ron Gardenhire pins-and-needles baseball, where everyone's afraid to make a mistake. As we've seen time and again, if you are nervous about making a mistake, you're going to make one sooner or later, and good teams like the Yankees pounce on those chances and win games because of them.


Now the Twins have to face the high-flying Chicago White Sox, who have been hitting the cover off the ball of late. The Twins should be grateful that Glen Perkins' "illness" will push him back to Saturday, because they desperately need their ace, Nick Blackburn, to stop the bleeding. Considering the Twins face All-Star and perennial Twin killer Mark Buehrle on Sunday, the Twins need to win on Friday, and it's the kind of game that they need their ace pitcher to provide the stabilizing force and avert a losing streak going into the All-Star Break. John Danks, hero of the one-game playoff last season, will pitch for the Pale Hose.

JULY 1, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 5, KANSAS CITY 1

Another easy win for the Twins against the struggling Royals, who did not look like the team that the Twins faced earlier in the season. Surprisingly, the Twins pulled off a very successful road trip -- one that included stops in three cities, and the Twins won two out of three in every city. Of course, the Twins could have very easily won every single game on the road trip, but considering the Twins early-season patheticness on the road, a 6-3 road trip is something to praise the heavens for. And perhaps the best thing about the trip is that the Twins did it mainly with pitching. Glen Perkins put in a second stellar start in a row on the road, this time buckling down against the Royals and pitching seven solid innings, allowing ten hits but only one run. The offense again did just enough to get a victory, and again the Royal defense helped them out. Alberto Callaspo botched a routine grounder off the bat of Joe Crede to score the second and eventual winning run in the third inning. Michael Cuddyer hit a home run -- not surprisingly a solo home run early in the game. Cuddyer's stats are padded with such production, either amassed early in games when the hits don't mean a whole lot, or late in routs that do not effect the outcome of the game. Cuddyer's parlayed that hitting strategy into a lot of money, a la Torii Hunter, and he was at it again on Wednesday afternoon.

Three Twins had to leave the game due to injury on Wednesday, but really only one of them might be worrisome for the Twins. Mike Redmond had to leave the game in the fifth inning due to getting a foul ball off his hand. No worries there; Redmond's got no gas left in the tank anyway, and Jose Morales is only hitting .360, and you're not losing anything defensively with the youngster in there anyway. Nick Punto had to leave the game (!!!) in the seventh due to a sore back. I just can't contain my glee -- I'm like a schoolgirl flush with emotion whenever I hear that Nick Punto has to leave a game because of an injury. Now I would have preferred to hear that the ribs were sore again, which probably would have led to another disabled-list stay for Superman, but I'm crossing my fingers that the back and the ribs made Punto a no-go at least for a few days. I've said it before and I'll say it again: any day that I can live without seeing, hearing, or hearing about Nick Punto is a good day. It's a damn good day.

Now the one casualty of the Wednesday afternoon victory that might trouble Twins fans was Justin Morneau, who left the game with an injured groin on Wednesday. Not only does Morneau's absence hurt the Twins, but that specific injury does not look promising. Groin injuries aren't the sort of ailments that one day's rest can adequately heal. I've said on this site that both Joe Mauer and Jason Kubel are arguably more valuable to the Twins than Justin Morneau, but the fact is is that you can't go an extended period of time without Morneau and have a legitimate chance of competing. Without Morneau, both Joe Mauer and Jason Kubel are affected because they won't get quite as many fastballs without Morneau sandwiched in between the two. Hopefully Morneau won't be able to go on the disabled list with this injury, but perhaps that's what can explain Morneau's slow month of June. Before hitting home runs in the last three games of the month, he had been struggling for a little bit. Let's hope that Ron Gardenhire was simply taking a precaution by resting Morneau for the last few innings on Thursday and that he'll be ready to go on Friday.

The Nick Punto thing brings up another point: Punto started at shortstop and Matt Tolbert played second base and hit second for the Twins. It's the four-billionth time that Ron Gardenhire has put the .170-hitting Tolbert in the second hole, meaning that a guy hitting .170 was protecting Joe Mauer. Talk about an insane move. And why is Brendan Harris getting a day off? Yes, he's been the regular shortstop for about a month now, but this is the second time in a week and a half that Ron Gardenhire has sat a regular player one day before a scheduled off day. He did it inexplicably with Justin Morneau a few Sundays ago. Especially with the Twins playing a day game on Wednesday, why are we sitting a regular player and substituting a terrible player when there's an off-day the very next day? The game got over around 4:30 Wednesday, and the Twins don't play until 7:00 on Friday; that's essentially two days off. But in his demented head, Ron Gardenhire has to get his regular players an adequate time on the bench during games apparently. It's really not surprising, though; we're talking about a guy who loves to sit the best hitter on the planet on a regular basis.

The Twins now come home for a long home stand starting Friday against the Tigers. Dick Bremer has been overhyping the series as a "mid-season battle for first place," when in reality the only thing that likely will happen is that the Tigers will prove to the Twins that they are starting to put first-place on lockdown. Detroit will end up winning the Central by ten games, mainly because their pitching is far superior to the Twins. The Tigers will send up a rookie, Luke French, in the series opener, but then will counter with Edwin Jackson and Rick Porcello, who have both been outstanding this season. Kevin Slowey will oppose French on Friday night, looking for his eleventh win on the season.

JUNE 14, 2009 -- CHICAGO (NL) 3, MINNESOTA 2

The Twins can't complete the sweep at Wrigley as they drop 3-2 to the Cubs. Scott Baker pitched well, Joe Mauer had three hits, and the runs were driven in by the unlikely duo of Nick Punto (on an inexplicable two-out bunt hit) and Carlos Gomez (on an inexplicable display of power -- a home run). In a game in which they get good pitching from a guy who's been wildly inconsistent this season (Scott Baker) and their bottom of the order produces, it's all that much more frustrating when the team ends up behind the eight-ball. Though the road trip must be considered a success, as the 5-5 trip is leaps and bounds better than any of their previous road trips, it was disappointing when you consider the losses: 2-1 and 4-2 to Seattle, two 4-3 losses in Oakland, and a 3-2 loss to Chicago. The gauge of a good manager is a good record in one-run games, and at least on this road trip, the stats correctly indicate the quality of the manager. Most people point at Ron Gardenhire's career record and make the incorrect assumption that he's one of the best managers in baseball, but in reality luck has mainly powered the ship for Ron Gardenhire. In the last few seasons, luck has begun to let up, and the skill of the manager (or lack thereof) has been evidenced.

The loss on Sunday was not radically different than many of the others. There were no glaring managerial mistakes that deserve special attention here. It's just that this loss was like so many others, and Gardenhire continues to confound those who watch the game. Decisions like batting Matt Tolbert lead-off -- now what manager in their right mind would do this? Gardenhire had been successful with Brendan Harris in the leadoff position, as they had won their previous two games. And it's not like Harris was on the bench on Sunday -- he was batting fifth for the Twins. Why change what has been going right for you, Gardenhire? And if you're going to shakeup the lineup, why put in a guy hitting .175? In all fairness, Tolbert hitting from the right side against lefthander Ted Lilly meant that Tolbert would be hitting from his better side (he's .214 from the right side of the plate versus .169). But it's just unacceptable for a minor-leaguer to be hitting leadoff in the major leagues. And for a manager to make a rash change in a lineup following two wins -- why don't you stick to what's working for you?

That's the unique idiocy of Ron Gardenhire, the quality that sets him apart from all the rest of the idiots in the world. He'll change things that are positively working and then not change something that's so bad that it's beyond disrepair. That would be an adequate description of the bullpen, and in particular Jesse Crain, who has deteriorated to the level of a batting-practice pitcher. Ron Gardenhire has not altered his managerial style when approaching his bullpen since he began managing the team in 2002, and he's lost at least one division title because of that resistance to change. I consider Gardenhire to be a bad Pavlov dog -- you know the ones that were used in the eponymous scientist's behavioral tests. The Pavlov dogs were trained by the ringing of a bell, and after a few times of hearing the bell, they would be conditioned to act in a certain way. Ron Gardenhire, however, would be the control to Pavlov's experiment, as he would be that one dog that would be doing the same thing again and again, even when disciplinary measures were used. Gardenhire would do the same thing with his bullpen -- lose -- and he would rather watch that happen a million times over before he might change his approach. Most likely this is due to the fact that Gardenhire's bullpens from 2002-2006 were spectacular, perenially among the best in baseball. For five years Gardenhire consistently lucked out when he called upon his relievers. But in the last three years, the pen has become the Achilles heel of the team, apparent to anyone who is willing to admit it except Ron Gardenhire and Rick Anderson.

Jesse Crain was called upon to bring the game into extra innings on Sunday, as Gardenhire brought him in to pitch the ninth inning in a 2-2 tie. Guess what happened? Crain promptly gave up two hits, and, after he induced one strikeout, gave up the game-winning hit to Ryan Theriot. As I said to myself during the Yankee series last month, when Gardenhire was dumb enough to bring Crain in to "preserve" a tie game, all I asked out of Jesse Crain was to make it quick. He obliged in May against New York and again he does it here in Chicago. Now, with Ron Gardenhire's new role for Sean Henn being a left-hander who loses games late, and Jesse Crain giving up runs every time he pitches, Gardy has the convenience of being able to go to a number of pitchers in the bullpen who can lose games for you when you could really use them. It's really disappointing when you consider that every game of this road trip was winnable, and the Twins really should have won eight or nine of them instead of just five. But when you're talking about a Ron Gardenhire-managed club, a .500 record on the road is utterly fantastic, and you can't do anything but be surprised that they didn't blow more games than the four that they did.

A .500 record on the road would be a godsend for the Twins, but that's going to be really hard to accomplish with the Twins still only 11-21 on the road. If they want any chance of competing, they're going to have to win just about every game at home, and especially when their schedule features three game series against the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Houston Astros, you need to take advantage when you can. Though both teams are National League bottom-feeders, you have to realize that they are only a few games worse than the Twins. Glen Perkins returns from the disabled list, and he'll oppose Pirate pitcher Charlie Morton in the opener on Tuesday.

JUNE 11, 2009 -- OAKLAND 4, MINNESOTA 3

Nick Blackburn pitches shutout ball for the first seven innings, and Joe Crede's three-run home run appeared to be enough for the Twins to take three of four on the road from the Athletics. And then the eighth inning happened, and Blackburn gave up the three tying runs, the big blow coming on a two-run home run to Adam Kennedy. The Twins love to pick below-average opponents as their all-time nemeses; most fans will cringe when they remember that the Twins let Kennedy go Reggie Jackson on their asses in the 2002 ALCS against Anaheim, when he hit three home runs in the clinching game of the series. Kennedy has bounced around from team to team since he left the Angels a few years back, and now has surfaced to kill the Twins once more. It's funny -- the Twins have a glaring hole at second base, and Oakland doesn't appear to be in contending mode. The Twins should be thinking of trading for this guy for the mere reason that he won't kill them anymore -- kind of like what they did with Craig Monroe last season. Anyway, after Kennedy's home run, the wind was permanently knocked out of the Twins' sails, and we as fans just needed to know how it was going to happen. It turned out that the reliable Sean Henn-Matt Guerrier combo sucked it up in the ninth. Henn, who was called on to lose a game for the second time this road trip, characteristically walked the only batter he was called on to face, and then Guerrier came in and, well, Guerrier'ed it up, hitting a batter and giving up the game winning single to .239-hitting Rajai Davis.

Blackburn pitched like an ace until the eighth inning, and his performance was certainly good enough to win the ballgame, but the offense, save for the Crede home run, was stymied once again by a young starter, Trevor Cahill. With Denard Span out and Carlos Gomez, as always, being terrible, Ron Gardenhire went with Matt Tolbert, he of the .183 batting average, in the lead-off spot, and Tolbert produced as much as his numbers dictate -- 0 for 4. I'll say it again -- Joe Mauer is everything you want out of a lead-off hitter and more. Obviously it's better for Mauer to be in the 2 or 3 hole, but without Span, Mauer is the natural choice to lead-off for you. He takes pitches, works counts, gets on base, and can drive home runs for you, too. Instead, Ron Gardenhire is addicted to putting talent-deficient "speed" guys in the leadoff hole. The "speed" that they do have is pretty well negated by the fact that they can't get on base, and we all know that you can't steal first base. In his month with the team, Matt Tolbert has proven one thing -- he is not a major-league caliber player, but on the Twins, talent is something that is not needed to have an integral role on the team. In fact, the Twins almost prefer for some of their hitters to sacrifice their talents when they are either called up or acquired. Seldom Young's rookie year with the Devil Rays was stellar, especially for a 21-year old, but since he's put on the Twins pinstripes, he's been a disaster, as the Twins have apparently sucked every ounce of talent out of him, rendering him a zero-tool player. Instead of letting Young blossom into that player that was taken #1 overall in the draft, Joe Vavra has done his best at dicking with Young's swing to a point that he's a totally different ballplayer -- one for the worse, mind you.

The Twins get another chance at facing a young, inexperienced starter when they travel to Wrigley Field and take on right-hander Randy Wells, who has pitched very well in six starts but has yet to notch his first major-league win. The status of Denard Span continues to be in limbo, and with Nick Punto coming off the disabled list, it will be interesting to see who will be in the leadoff position today. My bets are that Alexi Casilla will be sent down when Punto is activated, and also that Punto, probably the worst player that the Twins have, will be hitting leadoff and playing second base, with Brendan Harris retaining his shortstop position. Ron Gardenhire gave a vote of confidence to Harris earlier in the week -- probably the first kind words Gardenhire has ever uttered of Harris -- and by doing so, he surprisingly lets Harris keep the job that he earnestly deserves. With the Twins facing some tough pitching this weekend, any wins will be gratefully taken. Kevin Slowey tries for his ninth win today against Wells.

JUNE 5, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 2, SEATTLE 1 (10 innings)

Talk about pure cheese. The Twins win in the tenth inning Friday compliments of an error by Seattle left fielder Wladimir Balentien, who misplayed Matt Tolbert's line drive into a game-winner. Balentien no doubt reminded Twins fans of a certain Seldom Delmon Young by letting the outfield play him. Though the victory was no doubt cheesy, and mistakes in the game were rife, it's a win, and the Twins should be grateful to win a game started by Felix Hernandez, who looked pretty sharp for the M's. On a positive note, Francisco Liriano turned in a fine pitching performance, a rarity this year. Sure, the lineup that he faced featured an over-the-hill Mike Sweeney batting clean-up -- definitely not Murderer's Row. But Liriano needed this start badly, as maybe he can gain some confidence from his six-inning performance.

For the first time this season, the bottom of the lineup outperformed the top half, as the combo of Brendan Harris, Brian Buscher, Carlos Gomez, and Alexi Casilla combined to go 7 for 16. When it mattered, the bottom of the order choked, of course, and Matt Tolbert -- what can I say about this pathetic excuse for a major league player? He entered the game in the eighth inning pinch running for Joe Crede. Tolbert did end up stealing a base in the inning, and then Tolbert and third base coach/idiot Scott Ullger conspired to run themselves out of the inning. Buscher's infield single to second base was apparently enough for Ullger to send Tolbert home on the play, who was out by ten feet at the plate. Obviously Ullger had flashbacks to last Saturday, when he failed to send Joe Crede on an overthrow in which Crede likely would have scored. The batter on deck that day was Alexi Casilla, and Casilla would have been the next batter on Friday night, so it's not like I disagree with the decision -- Casilla sucks, and for him to get two hits in a game (much less two hits in a week) is a miracle in itself, so you can't bet on him getting a third hit, especially one in a clutch situation.

Then there's Tolbert's at-bat in the tenth inning. With the game on the line, Ron Gardenhire had apparently no move in which to pinch-hit for Tolbert -- which is a shining example of how thin this bench is at this point. If Michael Cuddyer can't pinch hit in this spot, you might as well put him on the disabled list. Cuddyer's terrible, too, of course, but anybody in the building is a better option that Matt Tolbert. Dare I say Seldom Young would have presented a better chance to get the run home? With runners on first and third and one out, Tolbert was at the dish because of Ron Gardenhire's insanity, and even Gardenhire is apparently aware of Tolbert's lack of skill, as he called for the suicide squeeze. Considering Tolbert's role model appears to be Nick Punto (his stats reflect a certain Puntoesque Patheticness), I think everyone in the park thought that the only way Tolbert was going to get the job done was with a bunt. With the worst hitter on the current 25-man roster at the plate (basically a pitcher batting), the element of surprise isn't there -- it's not like Joe Mauer was at the plate or somebody halfway decent. Tolbert squared to bunt, and the pitch was way outside, though not too far off the plate for Tolbert to at least make contact with. Because he failed to foul the ball off, Mauer was hung out to dry coming home, and the Twins were bailed out by the Seattle defense on the next play. It just emphasizes a major point -- this team is under the belief that they can win the division and they're putting guys like Matt Tolbert and Alexi Casilla and Carlos Gomez and Seldom Young and Nick Punto and Brian Buscher and Mike Redmond into the lineup on a consistent basis. If your team is asking Matt Tolbert to drive home game-winning runs in extra innings, competing for a pennant should be the last thing from your mind.

Well, the Twins got a win in Seattle, which I thought would be a tough challenge. Now they get their ace Nick Blackburn on the mound this afternoon against Jerrod Washburn, a guy with mediocre stuff that the Twins have never really figured out. Washburn, by the way, is the pride of Webster, Wisconsin -- an area that I spend parts of my summers in. Blackburn goes for win #6 on the year today.

JUNE 4, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 11, CLEVELAND 3

The Twins had their hitting shoes on Thursday, as they went deep four times against Fausto Carmona and the Indians en route to an 11-3 romp. Jason Kubel was the hitting hero for the Twins, belting two three-run home runs in his first two at-bats of the game. Six RBIs for Kubel in the first two innings -- it appeared that Kubel had a good chance of matching or breaking the club record for ribbies in a game (8, by the unlikely pair of Glenn Adams and Randy Bush). Eric Wedge had the nads to intentionally walk Kubel in the eighth inning with runners on second and third, when the Twins were up by seven runs. Such a bush-league move for a classy manager -- for all the griping I do about Ron Gardenhire, I don't think even The Brain would do something as low as that.

Scott Baker pitched fantastic for the first four innings on Thursday, then hit a rut in the middle innings, which is settling into the norm for Baker. He ended up with a career-high ten strikeouts on the afternoon, and the only real blemish on his line was giving up a home run to a guy named Chris Gimenez, who was starting his first major-league game. Sean Henn pitched a clean two innings to complete the ballgame.

The bottom of the Twins lineup, which has been an Achilles heel for the team so far, continued their struggles, as the vaunted 7-8-9 hitters -- Mike Redmond, Carlos Gomez, and Matt Tolbert -- combined to go 1 for 12. Tolbert especially had a terrible approach at the plate, seeing eight pitches total in his four at-bats. It's becoming increasingly clear that Tolbert does not belong in the major leagues, and with Alexi Casilla the only other option the Twins are willing to use at second base, the Twins appear to be doomed at the position. It's not as if the organization is very strong in the minor leagues as well (Danny Valencia and Luke Hughes are natural third basemen). It's a glaring hole that needs to be addressed, and soon. The defense at the position is really disheartening, as that was the main reason that Gardy was willing to put the offensively-challenged Casilla and Tolbert there in the first place. They've both been underwhelming defensively and consistently phone it in at the plate.

The Twins now embark on a three-city, ten-game road trip that could spell doom for the club. The first stop is Seattle's Safeco Field, which surprisingly turned out to be a house of horrors last season for the team. Though the Mariners have cooled off considerably from their good start, the Twins appear to be behind the eight-ball with the pitching matchups in all three games: Felix Hernandez, Jerrod Washburn, and Eric Bedard. Factor in the Twins' miserable record on the road (6-16) and taking just one game from the M's this weekend might be a godsend. The Twins will be sending Francisco Liriano to the hill again tonight. If he contributes another messy four-inning, five-run performance, it's going to be hard for Ron Gardenhire to allow Liriano to stay in the rotation. It would be easy for other managers to take a guy with a 2-7 record and a 6.60 ERA (fourth-worst in the league) out of the rotation, but we're talking about Ron Gardenhire; time and experience has taught me not to expect logic and wisdom out of The Brain.

MAY 30, 2009 -- TAMPA BAY 5, MINNESOTA 2

The Twins are unable to get anything off of Tampa Bay starter David Price, who struck out eleven batters in 5 2/3 innings on Saturday, and Francisco Liriano gave the Twins yet another subpar start, lasting only four innings and giving up four runs. The big inning for the Rays was the third, when Tampa batted around and scored four runs off Liriano. This followed Twins-on-the-road protocol, which states that once the team has a lead on the road, their pitchers must give that lead back immediately and usually take the team out of the game while they're at it. Liriano cruised through the first two innings, and then the third inning saw him throw 47 pitches and give up the four runs.


Fox analyst Eric Karros was partly blaming the defense for some of the runs scoring, and it's not like Liriano was hit very hard in the inning; a lot of seeing-eye hits and ground-ball bleeders led to the four runs. But Liriano did a few things that are unacceptable: 1) he gave up a home run to a guy named Joe Dillon -- you don't give up hits to this slug, much less home runs; 2) he walked two batters to prolong the inning and 3) most importantly, he struggled with command and looked lost on the mound. He hasn't shown a whole lot of mound presence in his last few starts, and especially when he gives up a run, Liriano seems to lose confidence quickly and he spirals into a huge inning. I for one don't see the defense as the reason for the four runs; even Nick Punto and his "better range" than Brendan Harris wouldn't have been able to stop the bleeding.


The Twins were basically non-existent at the plate against Price, who looked overpowering in his first major league win. They did, however, squander two runs while Price was on the mound, one of which was courtesy of third base coach/idiot Scott Ullger. Price had walked Joe Crede in the second inning and pitched to Carlos Gomez, who (not surprisingly) swung pathetically and tapped back to the pitcher. Price then threw wildly to first base, overthrowing everybody. Crede made it to third, rounded the bag, and then Ullger held him up. The replays confirmed that Crede would have likely made it home on the play, but Ullger held him up while he was positioned near home plate. Karros was correct in criticizing Ullger on the play, as you need to 1) force the issue, 2) realize that Price is throwing almost-unhittable stuff and you aren't going to get many opportunites to score against him and 3) most obviously, you need to know who is on deck. Alexi Casilla was on-deck, and Ullger apparently forgot about that in his over-conservative basecoaching, or he was showing a perverted sense of confidence in the beleaguered infielder. Casilla, obviously, failed to get the run home, and the Twins, thanks to their base coach, were stripped of a run. Come on, Ullger -- it was going to be an easy play to end the inning, and now you have a good chance of getting a cheap run across the plate. Everyone in the building knows that Casilla is a minor-league player; force the freaking issue.


Michael Cuddyer also failed to get a run across in the third inning. With Joe Mauer at third base and one out (with one run already in), Cuddyer struck out on a pitch way out of the strike zone. As I said after Cuddyer's cycle last Friday, the guy loves to fail in clutch situations. All he's done since the cycle is hit two solo home runs in losing efforts. Cuddyer's a lot like the erstwhile Torii Hunter in that they love to pad stats in blowouts and they wilt at the knees in clutch situations. I don't think Hunter had one hit in the clutch in his entire career with the Twins, and I'm struggling to think of a big hit that Cuddyer has had. He was the beneficiary of hitting between Mauer and Morneau in 2006 and he put up some good numbers that year; he's parlayed his one good year in the majors into a large contract, and the Twins are paying for it now. For most of the season Cuddyer has looked old, frankly, and his serviceability for the Twins is really limited. But, like Nick Punto, Cuddyer's contract isn't going to be easily moved, and the Twins are essentially stuck with him.



Randy Choate came in to shut the door again on Saturday, recording his second major league save the day after his first. Ex-Twins great Grant Balfour had provided a more-than-adequate bridge between Price and Choate. Boy, wouldn't the Twins love to have Balfour right about now. Just another example of the Twins being overrated in their talent-appraisal department; they let guys like Grant Balfour and Casey Blake and Matt Garza and Jason Bartlett go and they keep guys like Nick Punto and Matt Tolbert and Alexi Casilla. Tolbert, by the way, lost his second-base job to Casilla, and Brendan Harris will play short until Nick Punto is healthy, which hopefully is never. It's the second time this year that the Twins have replaced someone at the major-league level with a minor-league callup, which is simply ridiculous. Casilla and Tolbert were in the minor-leagues for a reason -- they suck, and in both cases, they were called up from Rochester and inserted into the everyday lineup. For how bad Tolbert is, I think Casilla might actually be worse, but his bloated 2008 numbers mean that he'll get the benefit of the doubt. Just like the Twins are still banking on Punto to replicate his 2006 numbers, the Twins will probably give Casilla three years of sucking until he finally proves to the team that 2008 was a fluke.


Nick Blackburn, suddenly the staff ace (which doesn't strike fear in anyone), goes today to prevent another road sweep. Matt Garza opposes Blackburn, marking the first time that Garza will pitch against his former team. Garza's been a lot better than his 4-3 record would indicate, and we all know that it is protocol for ex-Twins to kill their former team at least once (Corky Miller) if not repeatedly (Casey Blake). Bank on a Rays sweep.