MTRC Relaunch...We're Back in Business, People.

After a lengthy hiatus, I'm proud to announce that the Minnesota Twins Re-Education Center is going to be a go for the 2010 season! Like many nowadays, the MTRC was not immune to the tough economic times besetting the country currently, but thankfully a few of my most loyal supporters came through in a big way to provide the funding to maintain this site. So, to Donna, Terry, Hank, and Betsy, a big THANK YOU is graciously extended. As many of you know, the apiary business has not turned out to be an adequate source of part-time cash, and even with my Roth IRA not totally tanking, I needed to tend to the more important things over the winter; hence, the MTRC essentially shut down for a few months. But those four wonderful folks mentioned above wanted to see the MTRC return for this season and paid for that privilege. Our mission statement for 2010: Bigger and better this year. Hank Rickenbacher, who many of you voiced positive responses following his guest gig at the end of last year, has agreed to step into an elevated role for this season. You'll still be mostly hearing from me, but Hank will be featured here on something like a weekly/bi-weekly basis. I, for one, am excited to welcome Hank to the full-time staff here. Like hell I'd ask Mr. Rogers to be my neighbor -- I'm blessed to have Hank and his lovely wife Betsy (who makes the meanest oatmeal-raisin cookies, by the way) live so close by.

Now to get to the stuff you're hear to read about...

A secondary reason that I was resistant to relaunching the blog for the 2010 season was that I thought the Twins weren't going to be as underachieving (and, hence, having the potential for a hilariously pessimistic blog) as last season. They made some good moves in the offseason -- great moves if you count who won't be on the 2010 roster ([cough] Carlos Gomez [cough]). The middle of the field is greatly strengthened for 2010 -- J.J. Hardy provides a much-needed offensive spark at shortstop, and Orlando Hudson was almost too shrewd a move for the front-office to make; you'd think they'd prefer having Matt Tolbert sucking up scoring opportunities in the 2 hole like it's nobody's business. Add Denard Span playing center field full time (like he should have been for the past two seasons) and a locked-up Joe Mauer -- that's a potent combination down the middle. The Twins' other "significant" moves over the offseason were pretty humdrum -- the Jim Thome signing still confuses me, as I don't see him getting all that many at-bats, but at least he'll be a home run threat off the bench, and Clay Condrey might as well be a Matt Guerrier in disguise. At least Condrey's presence will give Ron Gardenhire one more serviceable option to blow leads in the seventh and eighth innings.


That's a good segue to the biggest news for the Twins since they opened spring training in Fort Myers, the Joe Nathan situation. Nathan's done for the 2010 season, about to undergo Tommy John surgery, seemingly dealing a devastating blow for the Twins in the bullpen. Sure, Nathan's a great closer -- right up there with Mariano Rivera in my book in terms of the best closers in the game. But we're talking about a closer here for crissakes -- someone who pitches one inning a game maybe three times a week. As lights out as Nathan can be, let me say it here -- he is replaceable. For any other team in the league and any other manager, Nathan's absence can be overcome through a little roster tinkering and a little inspiration and coddling by the coaching staff. But we're talking about the Tweedledee-Tweedledum regime of Ron Gardenhire and Rick Anderson here. Here's a pair of clowns who didn't know how to manage a pitching staff with a healthy Joe Nathan. Now that you take the all-star stopper out of the mix, I'd just as soon suspect Ron Gardenhire is going to dictate his relievers' appearances by drawing names out of a hat.

What the Twins should be doing right about now is exploring outside options. It can be a blessing that Nathan's injury occurred before the season, as it could give them some time to address the issue before the games counted for real. But let's be honest -- Bill Smith already went over budget when he signed Hudson for $3.5 million, and then he signed Mauer for his deserved extension. Do you think Smith is ready to pony up another few million to add a Heath Bell (the best choice) or a Kerry Wood (a distant #2 option)? Doubtful at best. Most likely the Twins will turn to in-house options [gulp] Jon Rauch, Matt Guerrier, and the like. Francisco Liriano's name has been bandied about in regards to the closer's job, and I for one would welcome Liriano in that capacity if they are going to go with an in-house replacement. He probably doesn't have the meddle to handle the stress that comes with the job, but Liriano usually unravels after two or three innings in his starts -- meaning that his first inning or two is usually solid. That being said, he's probably a LaTroy Hawkins in the making, and I doubt that Ron Gardenhire would want to throw Liriano in that position to start the season, even if he was their best candidate (Gardenhire, of course, struggles making talent-based decisions [see Punto, Nick]).

Either way you think about it, the closer's job is definitely replaceable. Even a pitcher with a solid 3.00 ERA is going to give up a run every three innings, and you just hope that that run is surrendered when the team is up by more than one run. And it's not like Joe Nathan was rock solid all the time -- his playoff record is, well, checkered at best (see the 2004 and 2009 playoffs against the Yankees), and his blown saves down the stretch in 2008 were a major reason the team didn't qualify for the postseason that season. A big loss, for sure, but one that can be overcome.

Photos: (1) www.babble.com/; (2, 4) AP/Steven Senne; (3) www.fullcountpitch.com

OCTOBER 9, 2009 -- NEW YORK 4, MINNESOTA 3 (11 innings)

Wow. Unbelievable. As I've said before, you can't lose these games unless you try, or unless you're just in a new category of "pathetic" that I'm just unaware of. Leading 3-1 going into the botom of the ninth, Joe Nathan gives up a single and a mammoth home run to Alex Rodriguez to give up the lead, and then Mark Teixeira comes back in the 11th inning with the game-winning homer off Jose Mijares. Ron Gardenhire didn't do anything during the game that lost the game outright; rather, it was his filling out the lineup that lost the game for the Twins on Friday. I think I thought out loud at least three times as to why Carlos Gomez is even on a major-league roster, much less in the starting lineup in a playoff game. The guy is such absolute doggie do-do that it's hilarious that people actually give the Twins a chance in this series. If I would have known that Gomez would have played Friday, I might as well have just slept through it. Unbelievable that Ron Gardenhire is that stupid. Manager of the Year my ass.


What's even funnier than that is that Brendan Harris propelled the Twins to what would have been a win, and Harris wasn't even in the starting lineup -- Matt Tolbert was, of course. It had to take a pulled muscle to get Tolbert out of the game, and there was Harris, providing the go-ahead triple in the sixth, the key hit to set up the two-run eighth for the Twins, and chipping in on defense with a miraculous Web gem later in the game. The bottom three guys in the Twins lineup -- Gomez, Tolbert, and Punto -- that's Washington Nationals "bad", Pittsburgh Pirates "bad." And you still should have won the game -- unreal. I'll give Punto props, as he delivered a clutch two-out hit in the eighth to put the Twins on top (that hit will probably keep him around for another four years). But I'm not giving Ron Gardenhire props, who I hope was joking when he told TBS reporter/snappy dresser Craig Sager that Punto was "the second best athlete on the team" next to Joe Mauer. That quote prompted me to look up the word 'athlete' in the dictionary, because I don't think Gardy and I are on the same page so to speak. Here it is from dictionary.com:


ath⋅lete 
–noun
a person trained or gifted in exercises or contests involving physical agility, stamina, or strength; a participant in a sport, exercise, or game requiring physical skill. (my emphasis)


OK -- so it doesn't necessary say they have to be good at sports, but merely a participant. But using the modifier "second best" implies that they are good at a particular sport, which just seals the deal -- Ron Gardenhire is the most idiotic, demented, insane man in the game of baseball. If you can hit .220 and play average defense, kids, you're a gold medalist in one man's book. Wow.


Let's get back to Gomez, who was the clear goat in the game. The guy can flat out fly, which was apparently the reason (defense, Gardy'd say, too) that he is even on the postseason roster. Yet Gomez is one of the absolute worst baserunners I've ever seen in my life, and that stupidity cost the Twins a run in the fourth inning. Tolbert actually came through with a hit off Yankee starter A.J. Burnett, sending Seldom Young home with the first run of the game. But wait -- Gomez tripped over his own shoes rounding second and was tagged out trying to go back to second before Young touched home plate, thereby nullifying the run scoring. Just an idiotic turn of events there -- Gomez should be trotting into second base and planting himself there. You're not going first to third there in a million years (I suppose the moronic Gomez probably thought he could), and at the very least, force a run-down so you ensure that the run scores. That blunder was basically the difference in the game, as Gomez proved to everyone, this time on a national scale, that he doesn't belong in the big leagues. But at least Gomez acknowledged his error in a postgame interview, offering his apologies by saying it was "my bad." Oh, OK. I needed that, Carlos.


But that wouldn't be enough for a guy who sucks as bad as Gomez. He had to come through again in the 11th inning, when the Twins started the inning with three straight singles. Seldom Young lined out on the first pitch he saw from reliever David Robertson; that's to be expected from Seldom. Then Ron Gardenhire has Carlos Gomez hit for himself. Huge mistake, Gardy. I'll quote myself from my Doghouse post on Gomez that I wrote way back in June: "This is what Gomez means to me: if the Twins are down by a run in the late innings and the tying run is on third base with one out, Gomez is the last hitter I want at the plate. I'd rather have a pitcher at the plate -- Kevin Slowey, Nick Blackburn, Joe Nathan, hell, even Nick Punto. Gomez folds in the clutch like it's nobody's business, and it's the listless hitting approach and non-existent instincts that make him a Doghouse Denizen for life." Pretty much the same scenario, except that the Twins were tied and would have gone ahead if Gomez can just get the ball in the air. Nope. Instead, he takes one of the most pathetic swings I've ever seen in my life and taps out to first base, and Teixeira throws home to force the runner. Harris flew out after Gomez, and Teixeira would end the game leading off the bottom half of the eleventh. Hooray, Ron Gardenhire! That stroke of managerial prowess lost you another game in the Bronx!


I would like to add that right field umpire Phil Cuzzi delivered one of the absolute worst calls I've ever seen in my life in the eleventh, such a bad call that it makes Mike Muchlinski's infamous home-plate call to end the Oakland Disaster look like a great call. I've always wondered why MLB has outfield umpires in the playoffs; it seems to me that it just means that two more umps can get the calls wrong. Cuzzi is literally fifteen feet away from watching Joe Mauer's fly ball land at least two feet fair and he calls it foul. What's more, outfielder Melky Cabrera touched the ball with his glove! The guy is planted stationary on the field watching nothing but the foul line, and he still gets it wrong. It's just like Richie Garcia's vomit-inducing call in the '96 ALCS when he said that Jeffrey Maier didn't lean over the fence and turn a fly ball into a home run -- the only thing that these outfield umps can do is screw up calls. Now, a lot of people are going to look at that call and do a Gardy and blame the loss on the umpires, but it's hard to tell what would have happened if Mauer had been on second base. Jason Kubel probably would have been trying to "get the guy over to third," i.e. pull the ball on the right side of the infield, and who knows if he would have gotten a hit or not. It likely would have still been up to Seldom Young and Carlos Gomez to blow it in the clutch. And there's no excuses to leaving SEVENTEEN guys on base. But Phil Cuzzi -- jeez, are you that much a Yankee fan or are you simply blind?
Photos: (1,3) AP/Julie Jacobson; (2,4) AP/Kathy Willens; (5) Reuters Pictures

SEPTEMBER 15, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 5, CLEVELAND 4

The Twins draw closer to the Tigers, as they finally make up some ground on first place with their win over the Indians and Detroit's 11-1 pummeling at the hands of the Kansas City Royals. Joe Mauer had two more hits for the Twins, bumping his average to .373, and Nick Punto slapped three ugly hits and drove in two runs. You know things are going good when Punto's average clears the .230 mark, a figure that just a month ago seemed completely out of reach. Scott Baker labored through 5 and 1/3 innings, but pitched well enough to keep the Twins in the game, and vulture Jon Rauch picked up his third win in about three weeks of being on the team. Joe Nathan again struggled to get the save, as he surrendered a booming home run to rookie Matt LaPorta and had the tying run on second base with two outs before inducing the game-ending pop-fly off the bat of rookie Michael Brantley. It never is an amazing feat to beat the languishing Cleveland Indians, but with the 2009 Twins, nothing comes easy, and these two wins are huge in setting the stage for this weekend's series with Detroit.

They'll face a test today (well, a test for them at least) in lefthander Aaron Laffey, against whom the Twins are 0-3 this year. He's seemingly always been a pest to the Twins, and we're talking about a guy who's rarely a pest for anybody else. Added to the fact that Laffey goes for Cleveland is that it's Nick Blackburn's turn in the rotation, and he's been nothing short of horrendous ever since Ron Gardenhire had the ingenious idea to rest a sinkerball pitcher for ten days straddling the All-Star break. Need to win this game if you want a chance...

Photos: (1)AP/Paul Battaglia; (2) AP/Ann Heisenfelt

SEPTEMBER 2, 2009 -- CHICAGO 4, MINNESOTA 2

Probably the worst lost of the season. One of those games where you look back on your season after it's over and you put a big red circle around this game. The White Sox were reeling. They had lost five straight and had just traded two of their veterans, apparently waving a white flag on their season. Joe Nathan had two outs, nobody on base, and an 0-2 count on Gordon Beckham, with the Twins leading 2-0. Beckham worked the count full, plastered a fastball into the left field seats, and Paul Konerko would do just about the same exact thing in the very next at-bat to tie the game. Two walks later would prompt The Brain to inexplicably take Nathan out of the game in favor of Matt Guerrier. Such a dick-head move by Ron Gardenhire, yet so predictable. What's better, Guerrier sucks so much that he grooves an 0-2 curveball down the heart of the plate to Alexei Ramirez, who pasted it to left to drive home the game winning run. A wild pitch during the next at-bat would complete the Matt Guerrier Special, which is extra special in this case because Guerrier's stats are completely clean according to the boxscore. That's what makes Gardenhire's move that much more of a prick move -- you let Matt Guerrier allow runs that go on Joe Nathan's ERA while Guerrier gets off scot-free. And Joe Nathan's your best pitcher -- I don't care if he walked three batters in a row, you don't replace your best reliever for Matt Guerrier with guys on base. Joe Nathan has earned the right to get out of his own mess. But, since Ron Gardenhire (rightly) let Joe Nathan pitch 53 pitches in Kansas City like three weeks ago, he's been extra cautious with his closer, and that in turn has led to this game slipping through his fingers.


Mike Redmond has to be commended for putting his two cents into losing the game for the Twins. On Ramirez's game-winner, Denard Span's throw to home beat pinch-runner DeWayne Wise by ten feet, but the old, craggly Redmond couldn't field the one-hopper, or much less block the plate, and allowed Wise to score. Then on Guerrier's wild pitch, Redmond put forth a quasi-effort, the sort of effort that screams "well I'm damn near forty and these knees are barkin' dogs right about now, but I still get the respect of the manager and the fans, so they won't really mind because Guerrier sucks anyways." Mike Redmond looks old on the field and more importantly he plays old. The talent that he has in terms of athleticism left him a few years ago, and the only value he has anymore is that of a mentor. Sadly, you don't pay mentors millions of dollars a year, or at least you shouldn't (try telling that to a team that pays Nick Punto $4 million dollars more than what he's worth). Jose Morales' pinch hit single in the bottom of the ninth raised his average to a mere .362, but hey -- don't think for a second that he's better than Mike Redmond. No sirree Bob.


A deflating loss like this not only drops them a critical game in the standings, but it takes the momentum that they had built over the past two weeks and throws that out the window. Now they embark on a seven-game road trip against Cleveland and Toronto, two second-division ballclubs, but that surely doesn't mean it's going to be easy for the Twins. Case in point Friday's starter for Cleveland, southpaw Jeremy Sowers, who throughout his career has posted some ugly numbers (5.07 career ERA) but has somehow been able to be very stingy against the Twins (3.35 ERA in five starts, including a complete-game shutout). And don't get me started on the struggles the Twins have had against the Blue Jays -- they've amazingly lost twelve of their last thirteen games against Toronto, and haven't won north of the border since April 2006. Most importantly, the 2009 Twins team has continued to be an enigma, and their two-week stretch of near-brilliance may just as easily be backed up by two weeks of gut-wrenching futility.

Photos: AP/Ann Heisenfelt

AUGUST 25, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 7, BALTIMORE 6

Another one-run squeeker against one of the worst teams in the American League goes the Twins way, as Seldom Young's fourth hit of the ballgame drove home the winning run with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning. The Twins clawed their way back from three runs down twice against the Orioles' horrendous pitching staff, and the game featured a little poetic justice, as the Twins' three runs in the sixth were charged to former Twins great Brian Bass, who at least pitched the sixth inning like he did last season with the Twins. These games are very important for the Twins if they feel like playing well the rest of the way, as their easy, easy schedule affords them the opportunity to play last-place and second-division clubs frequently down the stretch. After Baltimore leaves town after Wednesday's tilt, the Twins entertain two playoff contenders, Texas and Chicago, so it's imperative to beat the teams that you need to beat. With Detroit's second consecutive impressive win in Anaheim against the Angels, the Twins fail to gain any ground on the division leader, but with the White Sox loss in Boston, the Twins have moved into a tie for second place. More importantly, the Twins are back to the .500 mark, which is certainly impressive seeing as they were six games under .500 just a little over a week ago. Yes, the season-long five game win streak was compiled against the likes of Baltimore and Kansas City, but the way the Twins play (i.e., inconsistently), any run of victories is for sure a good sign.

The Armando Gabino experiment failed miserably, to say the least. Gabino was all over the plate, showing no signs that he was even ready to pitch in the big leagues or wanted to, for that matter. The ineffectiveness and the surprising early-onset male pattern baldness will likely combine to make Gabino's major-league stint a short-lived and somewhat forgettable. Even idiots like Ron Gardenhire and Rick Anderson know that they can't survive getting only eight outs from their starters. That's bad enough, but when you've got Philip Humber and Bobby Keppel as your options beyond the poor start, that just compounds the mistakes. If the Twins had been facing a halfway decent opponent on Tuesday, the score wouldn't have been close. But the Orioles pitching staff is worse off than the Twins (and that's saying a lot, mind you) and starter Brian Matusz nearly matched Gabino's lack of command, and the Twins were able to come back on Baltimore. Any game just wouldn't be complete without a Ron Gardenhire head-scratcher, and Tuesday's came compliments of Gardy delusionally believing that Jesse Crain could go a third inning in relief. Crain had completed two solid innings of relief to keep the Twins in the game, and Gardenhire put him out to start the ninth. Let me get something clear, Gardy -- you get six outs out of Jesse Crain in a week, you should be satisfied. If Crain is able to get six outs in a game, you take him out of there like he just committed a crime. Sure as shit, Crain gives up a leadoff double in the ninth, and only Jose Mijares' superb relief stint made it possible for the Twins to win it in the ninth. It all goes back to a familiar theme with Ron Gardenhire, and that's his babying protection of Joe Nathan. If the game's tied in the ninth and you're at home, you put your closer into the ballgame. You don't keep your sixth-best relief pitcher on the mound to try to get a third inning out of him. But, hey, Nathan pitched fifty pitches last week, so he still needs the rest.

Photos: AP/Andy King

AUGUST 22, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 8, KANSAS CITY 7

Two wins in a row against the pitiful Royals, and with the Tigers losing at Oakland, the Twins are "back in the thick of things," as certifiable idiot Dick Bremer would say. They're still three games below .500, mind you, and the Royals haven't been playing like a major league team in the last three months. Saturday's game was an example of a game that if the Twins needed to pitch one more inning, the Royals were likely going to finally overtake them. Brian Douchebag pitched the game of his life, which at this point in his career is just five innings and two earned runs. Because of the short start, the Twins had to rely on their bullpen, and what's worse was that Joe Nathan's 53-pitch outing on Friday apparently made him unavailable on Saturday, making Matt Guerrier the de facto closer [Gulp]. Ron Coomer, filling in for Bert Blyleven on color this weekend, was quoted as saying that this series is something like make or break, the most important series of the year and they desperately can't lose games like this. If that's the case (and it is, unless you want to fall further back in the division), you need to have Joe Nathan on the mound in the bottom of the ninth inning. Frankly I don't care if Nathan had to throw 120 pitches on Friday, if these games mean that much, you've got to have your best players in the spots that they are asked to deliver in. What's the worst that could happen, Gardenhire? You're banking on one good inning from Joe Nathan -- 15-20 pitches at most. Who in their right mind wouldn't be able to throw that many pitches, no matter how many they threw the night previous. Considering Nathan's classic "brush-off" of the push-over Gardenhire the night before, I thought that perhaps Nathan could easily talk his way back into the game. But alas, Matty Guerrier got the save, nearly giving up the tie in the eighth and giving back the insurance run the Twins cheaply got in the top of the ninth to win by the narrowest of margins.

After Douchebag left after the fifth, the Twins had to seriously patch it up until Stopper Guerrier came in in the eighth. Bobby Keppel and Jesse Crain helped get the Royals back in the game in the sixth and seventh innings, each surrendering two runs in their less-than-one-inning performance. Both of these slugs have proven that they simply cannot get major league batters out, but I have a sneak feeling that the front office will bring both of these guys back for 2010. Hell, considering the pay hike that Billy Smith gave Nick Punto last offseason, Keppel's 5.55 ERA may be due for a raise. That the Twins were even able to win this game was a testament to how truly bad the Royals are. The three runs that the Twins got in the top of the sixth were mainly due to Joe Mauer reaching first on a wild pitch on strike three, and Michael Cuddyer's pop-up in a clutch situation in the ninth (Cuddyer popping up in the clutch? No, really???!!!) needed to be caught, and that turned out to be the difference in the game. But the seventh inning was a classic, as the Royals loaded the bases with nobody out against Jesse Crain. Jose Mijares inherited that mess and promptly gave up a single to cut the lead to 7-5. After a key Cuddyeresque pop-up by Mitch Maier for the first out, the madness ensued. Yuniesky Betancourt hit a can of corn to center field, and Carlos Gomez dropped the ball, and instead of getting the easy force play right in front of him at second, threw to third to get the out there instead. To cap it off, Josh Anderson lined a ball to left, and Seldom Young, instead of retreating back on the ball, did a standing leap and barely caught the ball. It was literally one of the funniest things I'd ever seen; I laughed for a solid minute after seeing that patheticness.

The Twins go for the sweep on Sunday, with Carl Pavano making the start for the Twins. Anthony Swarzak, by the way, was finally outrighted back to Triple-A, and some guy named Armando Gabino was called up. Not sure whether this Gabino is going to get a shot at the starting staff, but whatever his role is, there are two things that are important with this transaction: 1) Swarzak's back in the minors, where he belongs, and 2) even the thought of a guy like Gabino making critical starts down the stretch for a "contending" team should tell everyone that the team has zero chance of getting to the playoffs. But hey, anybody's a step up from Swarzak, who in his last four or five starts was serving more meatballs than Olive Garden.

Photos: AP/Charlie Riedel

AUGUST 21, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 5, KANSAS CITY 4 (10 innings)

The Twins win a sloppy game in Kansas City, using some terrible Royal defense to parlay that into a couple runs. Denard Span hit a Little League homer in the sixth when outfielder Josh Anderson twice "Seldom'd" the ball as he attempted to return it to the infield (obviously a reference to Twins "outfielder"/butcher Seldom Young), and Orlando Cabrera's game winner in the tenth was turned into a gift triple due to Willie Bloomquist (ironically in for Anderson for defensive purposes) struggling to play the carom. Joe Nathan blew a save, giving up a two-out, two-strike home run to pinch hitter Brayan Pena, and then held on for a heart-attack save (OK, not technically a save, but you get it) in the bottom of the tenth. Nathan threw 53 pitches in his two innings, which likely means that Ron Gardenhire will give him anywhere from five to ten days off before he next sees action. What was hilarious was Nathan waving off Gardenhire after his 11-pitch battle with Alberto Callaspo, which resulted in Nathan getting the second out of the tenth, precluding Gardy from removing Nathan. Here's a man, Ron Gardenhire, who is all too prepared to take out his best pitcher and risk it with Jose Mijares or Bobby Keppel or Jesse Crain just because Joe Nathan had thrown a few too many pitches that is considered "normal" or "ideal" for a closer. Yeah, if ever there's a push-over manager in the majors, one that the best players can merely wave off as if they were declining finger food from an annoying caterer, it's Ron Gardenhire. Way to freaking go, Joe Nathan.

I had a dream last night that I'd like to share with the readers here today. Now, please understand that I am certainly not part of that ilk which lionizes Freudian analysis of rapid eye movements and psychosomatic imagery, but the fact remains that this dream was the first such interlude that I had experienced in quite some time, and it does relate to the MTRC. See, I was at the Metrodome watching the Twins play the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, and Nick Blackburn was pitching. Apparently in the dream Blackburn had also been recently pitching like an absolute dog turd too, so it was accurate in that respect. Blackburn, surprisingly, had a no-hitter going after eight innings, but it was one of those no-nos that sneak up on you. The Twins were winning big, like 9-0, and there had been a few errors and walks and hit batsmen -- far from a perfect game, mind you. But I had always wanted to be able to say that I had seen something special at the ballpark -- a no-hitter, a cycle, a three-homer game, for instance (the closest thing to a miracle I've seen at a ball park was probably a two home-run game from the legendary Tom Prince back in 2002). Blackburn gets the first two batters out in the ninth and suddenly the rest of the crowd seems to pick up the fact that he's on the precipice of history. For some reason, the Angels still have David Eckstein, and he's sent up to pinch-hit for whoever was supposed to hit. I'm sitting next to my father, and we both look at each other, thinking that Eckstein's one of those guys who's going to get that cheesy, Cesar Tovar-esque hit to break up the no-hitter. Then, out of nowhere, something really dreamy happens -- Ron Gardenhire takes Blackburn out of the game in favor for Craig Breslow. I know; Breslow's with Oakland now (and it's not like Eckstein plays for the Angels, anyway) and he's a lefty where Eckstein is a right-handed batter. It's probably something that Ron Gardenhire never would do. It turns out that Breslow gets Eckstein to finish the no-hitter, but everyone in the building is so pissed off at Gardenhire that they simply don't care.

Somehow, I make my way down to the Twins clubhouse and I confront Ron Gardenhire. I get the most disgusted look on my face and just ask him point blank, "Why?" He starts giving me this bullshit half-answer, it's classic political-speak, and I'm thinking this guy should bloody run for Congress. He's ready to just walk away when I tell him I'm a blogger and I'm going to put this whole show verbatim at the MTRC, and then he turns around and he brings me into his office. He sits down at his desk and his mouth's open, like he's ready to finally tell me the truth. I'm half expecting a Pete Rose kind of confession, like he's got bookies breathing fire on his back and he's been throwing games for years. And then it comes, like a torrent of springtime rains: the man simply weeps like a baby. He's crying and weeping and muttering something incoherent, something about letting down his family and his father in particular, and then he gets on his knees, right, like some groveling loser, and collapses in a dead sort of unmoving stasis and just lies there, at my feet.

Then I woke up.

Photos: AP/Charlie Riedel

JULY 28, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 5, CHICAGO 3

An incredible pitching performance by Mark Buehrle goes for naught, as his attempt for a second consecutive perfect game became all too serious, but the Twins come back against Buehrle and beat the Sox again under the Teflon, 5-3. Buehrle set a major league record by retiring 45 batters in a row, which spanned three starts (most obviously his perfect game last Thursday made up for most of that streak), but invariably his perfect game was broken up when he walked the .160-hitting Alexi Casilla. The no-hitter was spoiled a batter later when Denard Span singled cleanly to center, and the shutout was ruined when Scott Podsednik lost a catchable ball in the roof for a Joe Mauer double that tied the score. The Twins would benefit from a miscue by second baseman Chris Getz in the seventh, who inexplicably dashed towards second to play Joe Crede's squibber to the right side of the infield; that moved Michael Cuddyer to third with nobody out and RBI hits by Brendan Harris and (yes) Nick Punto ended Buehrle's night. Punto's hit was pure Punto -- an ugly, inside-out blooper to right field that found some open real estate. But, as they say in baseball, it was a liner in the boxscore, and when you're flirting with .203, you'll take them anyway you can get them.


Scott Baker pitched impressively for the Twins, too, though his performance was certainly trumped by Buehrle's incredible run. Jose Mijares notched his first major league win and Joe Nathan came in to get the save once Bobby Keppel again failed to shut the door in the ninth. Keppel needs to go back to the minors now, as he just doesn't have the stuff that late-inning relievers (successful ones, at least) have. Nathan's been racking up the cheap saves this season, as nine of his saves have been in games which he has entered the game with a three-run lead or more or has pitched less than one inning and has been credited with a save. In most years, Nathan struggles to get save opportunities, but in a sense it's his sort of comeuppance this year. He's on track to get around 45 saves this season, which would be a career-high. He's been an unbelievable closer in his Twins career. Once in six seasons has his ERA been above 2; that was in 2005, when he posted a 2.70 ERA that looks really high when you compare it to the other ERAs that he's put up in his other five seasons: 1.62, 1.58, 1.88, 1.33, and 1.59. There's really only one other closer that has matched that sort of consistency over the last six years, and he's a little guy named Mariano Rivera. Considering all the bullpen woes the Twins have that continue to go unaddressed, Joe Nathan has to be one of the most valuable players on the Twins. It's yet another reason to shake your head as to how Ron Gardenhire has managed this team: he's arguably got two of the top five hitters in the league on his team and one of the top three closers, and he's only been able to steer that group to a couple of first-round defeats in the playoffs (and those teams had the best starting pitcher in baseball, too), and this year's version barely has their heads above water at 51-50. Unbelievable.

It was a key win for the Twins, however. I'd like to address another baseball-related topic that I'm struggling to make sense of, and that is the Red Sox retired Jim Rice's number 14 yesterday in a pre-game ceremony. Let me just try to figure this out -- the guy was just inducted into the Hall of Fame on Sunday, he's been retired for twenty years, and now the Red Sox retire his number? I think that's a good indication that this guy should not have been voted into the Hall of Fame -- the only team that he ever played for didn't acknowledge his greatness to one franchise until Cooperstown came calling. I'm not here to say that Rice was a bad player -- he was a superb hitter, a stupendous run producer and a true ambassador for the game. But is he Hall of Fame material? I don't think so. We're talking about the Hall of Fame, people -- Ted Williams, Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron...Jim Rice? Look, the guy was a very good ballplayer in his era, but the Hall of Fame isn't about honoring very good ballplayers. It's for honoring the best of the best. When the Red Sox went on the road, did fans from different cities go out to watch Jim Rice play like they do for Albert Pujols or Alex Rodriguez? And while we're at it, I think the Hall needs to reconsider its voting rules. A fifteen year stretch on the ballot is too long and I think it provides the opportunity for very good players (but not Hall-of-Famers) to sneak in at the end of that tenure simply because the voters have been seeing that name for over a decade. If you can't be voted in after five years, why should you get voted in after fifteen? I guess the Red Sox felt forced to retire Rice's number after the Hall of Fame voted him in; to me, if you're a great ballplayer, you'd think you would be honored by your team shortly after you retired. I still don't understand that one.

JULY 14, 2009 -- AL 4, NL 3

Let's get it straight right off the bat: All-Star Games in any sport are supremely overrated. Some baseball fans would like to immediately point out that the MLB All-Star Game "means something," which is actually a strike against it being even worth watching. I've already said how much the current All-Star structure is an absolute mockery, so I won't repeat myself. I saw about ten minutes of the game last night, enough to watch Joe Mauer tie the game with a double in the fifth inning and Joe Nathan cling to the one-run lead that he inherited in the eighth inning, striking out Ryan Howard with two runners in scoring position to end the inning. However much I'm glad that Nathan was able to fan Howard, the situation was a prime example why the All-Star Game needs to be an exhibition. Once Orlando Hudson stole second base, which opened up first base, most managers in a real game would have walked Howard (even with two strikes) and gladly faced Justin Upton instead of Howard. That's no jab at Upton, who's a deserving All-Star in his own right, but with first base open you shouldn't pitch to Howard. At least Nathan wasn't throwing strikes to Howard and had the Phillie slugger fishing at a pitch in the dirt to get him out. The fact is this -- fans want to see power-versus-power matchups like Nathan vs. Howard. It was a pretty exciting moment to tell you the truth. But as long as the All-Star game has a false sense of importance attached to it, there will be managers who will choose to forgo such situations and walk Howard there, and strip the fans of an exciting moment.


Barack Obama threw out the first pitch of the All-Star Game wearing a White Sox jacket, and whatever your politics may be, I'm wondering if anyone else among us Twins fans were thinking to themselves -- boy, as a southpaw, Obama might just be as good as Brian Duensing or Sean Henn. No doubt Ron Gardenhire was sitting in his living room kickin' back the Schmitt's and eating SpamWiches, reaching for the telephone and begging Bill Smith to sign 'im up. At least that way, Smith won't have to trade anybody to get him. Ah, but what am I talking about -- Obama probably wouldn't even want to play for the Twins. He's got enough headaches in Washington what with the whole "country falling apart" thing, that he'd probably not want to compound his troubles by joining the already beleaguered Twins bullpen.


Remember, folks, send in those e-mail questions to eisenhowermcsteele@gmail.com. I've already had a few great e-mails come in and I look forward to more. The first "Ask Howie" segment will be featured on Friday, so don't be afraid to send me your questions!

JULY 8, 2009 -- NEW YORK 4, MINNESOTA 3

I think that Ron Gardenhire has to get on his knees and thank the schedule makers for the unbalanced schedule. Another loss to the Yankees makes the Bombers 6-0 against the Twins on the season. I always laugh when idiots like Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven rue the fact that the unbalanced schedule makes it so the Yankees and Red Sox only come to the Metrodome once a season. Dudes, do you realize that the Twins can't beat those teams without getting seriously lucky? The Twins should be pleased as punch that they don't have to play the Yankees more than seven times this season, as it's only seven games that they have to lose. It's only seven times that Ron Gardenhire has to scratch his head and figure out a way to lose to the Yankees. He didn't even try on Tuesday, when the Yankees smoked the Twins, but he was back at it again on Wednesday, as New York beat the Twins for the fourth time this season by the margin of one run. Terribly un-clutch hitting by the Twins and giving up key hits to the sore thumb of the Yankee lineup is a recipe for a loss, and that worked in spades on Wednesday. Brett Gardner again got a clutch hit against the Twins, a two-run, two-out single off Anthony Swarzak in the second inning that made the lead 3-0. Gardner and Nick Swisher are the only two Yankees in that lineup that have not made an All-Star team, and they combined to drive in three of the four runs. Every game against the Yankees this year has featured a hit by the sore thumb of the lineup, and a big hit at that, whether the sore thumb be Jose Molina or Brett Gardner or Francisco Cervelli. No wonder you don't win a game against them.

The Twins were absolutely dreadful with runners on base on Wednesday. Remember all that stuff I said about Michael Cuddyer being a terrible hitter in key spots yesterday? Yeah, well, you might as well etch that in stone, because Cuddyer's at-bat in the fifth inning was one of the most pathetic at-bats I've ever seen in my life. The situation: bases loaded, two outs, Yankees up by two. A.J. Burnett has struggled with his command all game long, especially not being able to get the curveball across the plate. He had walked the pitcher -- Nick Punto -- earlier that inning, for crissakes. Instead of waiting for a fastball to hit, Cuddyer fishes for two curveballs in the dirt and takes two half-swings that looked more like dry heaves set in motion. For the millionth time this season, Cuddyer folds in a pressure situation. But, hey, he's on pace for a thirty-homer season, so we'll accept him striking out like a Little Leaguer in spots that actually mean something. Absolutely pathetic, Cuddyer.

In the sixth inning the Twins had a chance, too, but then Nick Punto's turn in the batting order came up with two guys on base. Are we at all surprised that Nick Punto struck out? Are we at all surprised that Ron Gardenhire didn't pinch hit for Punto then, and not in the eighth inning, when there was nobody on base? The answer, of course, is pathetically "no" to both questions. It's a strange paradox that Ron Gardenhire displays with his playing Nick Punto. He apparently acknowledges that Punto sucks at the plate (I mean, you'd have to be beyond stupid to not realize that -- dumber that Gardenhire, even) but he would rather keep Punto in the game as long as he can until he pinch-hits for him. Again, look at it as if Punto were the pitcher at the plate (he basically is). In the bottom of the sixth inning, with your team down by two runs against a team that you haven't beaten this season, you may not get an opportunity like you had in the sixth again. You need to pinch hit anyone for Nick Punto right then and there and take your chances with Matt Tolbert in the field from there on out. They're basically the same player -- terrible offensively, average defensively -- so it's not like you're losing anything with the glove. Instead, Ron Gardenhire thinks it's too early to pinch-hit for the pitcher, and he loses probably the best chance he has to tie the game by sticking with Punto. Denard Span struck out following Punto to end the inning, and save for a Joe Mauer home run in the seventh, the Twins' threats were all but done for the night.

Here's props to Joe Girardi on making the correct managerial decision on Wednesday by bringing in Mariano Rivera with two outs in the eighth inning. It's the kind of move that good teams make, by acknowledging the fact that Rivera is a surefire Hall-of-Famer and you'd have to be out of your gourd not to use him in situations that call for your best reliever to handle. It's a move that I'm sure made Ron Gardenhire go, "Really?" in the dugout when he saw Girardi call for Rivera. It's not as if the situation was so dire that only Rivera could extinguish the rally -- there was one guy on base and two outs, with pinch hitter Jose Morales at the plate. Ron Gardenhire would only use Joe Nathan in the eighth inning if the bases were loaded or if Matt Guerrier's arm had fallen off the socket. Doubtless Gardenhire was shocked when he saw the best reliever in the last decade and a half come to the mound, because he's been taught that a closer only comes in for the ninth inning, and pitches the ninth inning only. Hey, the Twins have lost countless games and at least one division title operating under that mantra, and if anything else, it rattled Gardy's confidence, because, after all, the move worked. Rivera got Morales to end the eighth and then mowed down the side in the ninth, throwing a whole eleven pitches to get four outs. And guess what -- I'm pretty sure Girardi would be willing to do the same thing again today.

I do have to give Ron Gardenhire props for his classic cop-out regarding Glen Perkins, who was scratched from Wednesday's start because Perkins was "sick." I suspect Perkins got sick when he tried to recall his start against New York in May, when he gave up six runs in 2/3 of an inning. Either that or, more likely, Ron Gardenhire didn't want a replay of that horrendous outing but needed a good way to lie to the fans and said that Perkins was under the weather. Even more likely is the possibility that Perkins was indeed sick because Gardenhire poisoned his food the night before; good liars are ones that can back up their lies, and if need be, Perkins can show up with his face the color of guacamole and back up Gardenhire's excuse. Whatever the case, it was strangely perfect timing for Perkins to call in sick, and now that means that Francisco Liriano will pitch Thursday afternoon against spot-starter Alfredo Aceves, who picked up two wins in that nightmarish four-game sweep in May.

JULY 5, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 6, DETROIT 2

The Twins take two of three from the first-place Tigers, riding the strength from eight shutout innings from their ace Nick Blackburn. Blackburn's defense let him down a bit in the ninth and he surrendered a two-run bomb off the bat of Brandon Inge, but surprisingly Ron Gardenhire kept Blackburn in to finish the game even though he wound up throwing over one hundred pitches -- something that's as close to anathema as there is in the demented head of Ron Gardenhire. The offense was supplied by one big inning off Detroit rookie Rick Porcello -- the fourth, in which the Twins scored all six runs. Justin Morneau belted his 21st home run of the season, Seldom Young had a run-scoring single, and two runs scored due to an error by ex-Twin shortstop Adam Everett. The Twins did have twelve hits, but considering they scored only four earned runs, the offense was off the hook on Sunday. After Porcello left the game following the fourth inning, the Twins could not get any runs off Zach Miner and some guy named Fu-Te Ni -- I know, right? That's not even a case where you need to buy a vowel; you've got to buy a couple vowels and a few consanants while you're at it. He might as well be named Mo X, and the Twins were unable to get anything off a pitcher who has a two-letter last name. Ridiculous.

On a related note, the All-Star selections were announced on Sunday, and not surprisingly three Twins made the team. Morneau, Joe Mauer, and Joe Nathan were selected, with Mauer being the only one of the three to be voted in by the fans. All three players are much deserving of being on the team, and I don't think any Twin was really snubbed by Joe Maddon, either. Dan Gladden and John Gordon were making the case that Kevin Slowey's trip to the DL may have cost him a spot on the All-Star team, but they fail to notice that the guy has a 4.86 ERA and his ten wins were mostly due to the overwhelming run support that he's had the benefit of pitching with. The American League roster, and Joe Maddon's selection of the reserves, reminded me a little bit of Tom Kelly in that Maddon rewarded quite a bit of his players from last season's World Series team with an All-Star selection this year. Yes, Ben Zobrist has amassed some great numbers this season (2nd in the league in slugging and OPS -- what???) but the guy's only been a starting player for about a month, and I'd like to know how many people outside Tampa-St. Pete that actually know who Zobrist is. Jason Bartlett and Carl Crawford also were selected by Maddon, and Evan Longoria was voted in at third base. Granted, all of those players are having good seasons -- it's not like Tom Kelly selecting Tim Laudner for the '88 All Star game -- that was ridiculous. Charlie Manuel didn't display as much nepotism as his American League counterpart, as Ryan Howard was the only Phillie that he selected himself; Chase Utley and Raul Ibanez were voted in as deserving starters.

The problem, however, isn't the managers selecting the reserves. The problem is that the All-Star game selection process is the same that is has been for decades, while the scope of the "exhibition game" is now greatly expanded. What's at stake is homefield advantage in the World Series, and the fans are voting in the starting players? That means that the Yankees and Red Sox, due to their huge fan base, will always have a couple players in the starting lineup no matter what their statistics are. People will say that the game is for the fans -- well, not if the game actually means something. If you're going to attach a ridiculous prize to an exhibition game, then you let the manager select every player. And that also means that you eliminate the old "every team gets at least one player on the All-Star team" crap. Remember when the Twins really sucked in the late nineties? I'm sure Joe Torre groaned every year at All-Star time because he had to put someone from those teams in an All-Star game. Ron Coomer made an All-Star team for crissakes. If the game means that much, you want the best of the best, not the best of the best, and Andrew Bailey of the Oakland Athletics.

MLB can have it one of two ways -- make the All-Star game decide home-field advantage for the Fall Classic and thereby strip the fan's vote and get rid of the rule that stipulates that every team needs to be represented. Or, keep those rules and make the All-Star game an exhibition game like it should be. The way it is now, MLB is way behind its time and is appearing as slow to change as the Catholic Church. Here's an idea to decide home-field advantage for the World Series: award the league who has the best overall record in interleague-play with the advantage, or better yet, whoever has the best record between the two teams in the World Series gets the home-field advantage. If you step back for a second and realize how MLB is handling that situation, you shake your head and can't believe that insanity. You might as well use spring-training records to decide home field advantage of the World Series.

JUNE 19, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 5, HOUSTON 2

The Twins cheesed their way to a 5-2 victory over the last-place Houston Astros, as Kevin Slowey pitched good enough for his incredible tenth win of the season against two losses. The Twins' runs were produced via a sacrifice fly, a squeeze bunt, a Michael Cuddyer double and a Seldom Young "double" that was in reality a ball lost in the lights by outfielder Jason Michaels. The offensive production was what people love to call "Twins baseball," which is pretty much a euphemism for "rinky-dinky cheese-ball that's good enough to win division titles but nothing more." It's actually nice to see line drives hit across the field and it's refreshing when your team wins because they hit the ball with authority. It doesn't need to go over the fence, but it looks better and sounds better when batters make good solid contact with the baseball. But I'm a Twins fan for life, and I suppose I have to accept this brand of baseball. I get it -- Nick Punto can't hit the broad side of a barn, and he's basically a pitcher at the plate, so why not suicide squeeze with Punto at the plate. It's sure as hell better than having Matt Tolbert lay down a suicide squeeze -- we know what happens then.


But wins like these are almost so cheezy that you're kind of
embarrassed to be a Twins fan, like saying it's the only way that we can consistently win, by bunting and hitting high choppers that turn into turf hits. Hey, it's going to win you some division titles and give you a good story for Tim Kurkjian to write about how a small-market team "consistently competes," but when playoff time rolls around, you're going to realize that the teams that are actually good, that have relied on talent to get them to the playoffs, are going to roll over you time and again. Even the 2006 Oakland A's, who weren't all that talented but are the epitome of anti-smallball, beat you handily. This isn't the '80s, when teams like the Cardinals and Astros regularly competed with the speed-based, Astroturf-assisted smallball that the Twins are apparently following. Classic Ron Gardenhire -- playing the game 20 years behind its time. Next year things are going to be different without artificial turf. I have a feeling that the team will remain largely the same, and the philosophy of small ball will still be intact. With Target Field playing totally different than the Metrodome, that could lead to some horrible results.


Slowey uncharacteristically walked four batters in his six innings, but Ron Gardenhire, one game after Nick Blackburn put forth the first (and perhaps only) complete game of the season, apparently thought that his starters couldn't go past six innings on Friday, so he characteristically lifted Slowey after ninety pitches for good ol' Matt Guerrier for the seventh inning. Guerrier pitched a clean seventh, though of course not without a mild heart attack, and Jose Mijares came on for the eighth inning. Mijares gave up a home run to some guy named Jeff Keppinger, which is unacceptable. The Twins have been doing this way too often lately -- giving up home runs to "some guys" -- people that you've never heard of that are pathetically terrible. I'll list the players who got home runs in the Pirates series and raise your hand if you've even heard of any of them -- Naijer Morgan, Andrew McCutchen, and two LaRoches (Andy and Adam). Now career journeyman infielder Jeff Keppinger goes deep on them. Terrible.


Then in a move of utter surprise, Ron Gardenhire brought in Joe Nathan to face Miguel Tejada to close out the eighth inning. It's the second time this month that Gardenhire has stooped to this level -- by that I mean make the obvious, correct managerial decision. Nathan got Tejada to strike out, and in the bottom of the eighth Seldom Young got his cheezy two-run lost-in-the-lights double to pad the lead and thereby seal the win for the Twins. Scott Baker goes tonight against Brian Moehler, he of the very hittable stuff and devilish 6.66 ERA. Twins better win.

JUNE 12, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 7, CHICAGO (NL) 4

The Twins quite literally owned Wrigley Field on Friday afternoon, not only beating the hometown Cubs but out-cheering them in the stands. There was certainly a festive air in the stadium with more-than-audible chants of support for Joe Mauer and company overpowering any plaints of fans rooting for the home team. The only point of the game in which the home fans were noticable was when they were booing their hearts out at Milton Bradley, whose Puntoesque Patheticness extended as much to mental gaffes than merely physical blunders. The Cubs are certainly far from contending at this point, but with Ron Gardenhire's horrid record at so-called "hallowed" playing grounds -- Yankee Stadium, Fenway Park -- it was somewhat surprising to see the Twins win a game at Wrigley. Kevin Slowey did good enough to improve to an astounding 9-2 on the season, and then the bullpen carousel took over, as the Twins used five relievers to get the final nine outs of the game.

Let's start with the consistently overmanaged bullpen. Joe Nathan got the save in the ninth inning, but let's face it -- I don't think there's too many people out there, much less baseball players, who can't get three outs before giving up three runs. If I were commissioner of baseball for a day, I think the first thing that I would do is alter the save rule. I think it should be tossed out altogether, as it has now evolved to the point where managers dictate their "closer's" workload around that statistic. Ron Gardenhire is pretty good at ignoring other statistics -- for what reason, besides utter stupidity, can you explain his decision to bat Carlos Gomez and Matt Tolbert in the leadoff position the previous two days in Oakland? Statistics like batting average and on-base percentage (both beyond pitiful in both cases) would indicate that both Gomez and Tolbert suck to an extreme. But apparently Ron Gardenhire doesn't care about stats for those guys. Yet when it comes to Joe Nathan, Gardenhire falls back on the crutch that is the save rule.

There are three ways to get a save in the rule book: 1) pitch at least one full inning after entering the game with no more than a three-run lead and finish the game; 2) enter a ballgame with the tying run at the plate or on-deck (this means that, with the bases loaded, a pitcher can get a save with a five-run lead) and finish the game; or 3) pitch three full innings and finish the game, no matter the score. The third stipulation I would toss out the door altogehter, as those saves are usually picked up by long relievers in blowout victories in which the starter struggled, and there rarely were times of real stress by the pitcher who got the "save." I remember in 1996 when the Twins beat the Tigers in a memorable 24-11 rout; a guy named Greg Hansell, if I remember correctly, got a save in that game by the three-inning save rule -- the team won by thirteen runs. No doubt this part of the rule was reasonable at the time in which the save rule was drafted (in the late 1960s), as relievers back then were expected to go multiple innings at a time, and the "bullpen" consisted of two or three pitchers. It wasn't unusual for Al Worthington or Ron Perranoski, for instance, to go two or three innings for a save.

As for the other parts of the rule, there is an inherent contradiction at play. While giving a reliever a save in a five-run win might be a little extreme, I do agree with it, in that having the tying run in the on-deck circle poses an immediate threat and there isn't much room for error. But when a pitcher comes into a game with a three-run lead (as Joe Nathan did on Friday) and retires the side in order, not once does the tying run even come to the on-deck circle. If I were commissioner, I would amend the save rule by shorten the three-run rule, thus making a two-run lead at the start of an inning being the largest margin possible for gaining a save. With a two-run lead, the tying run is always at least on-deck, and this would be consistent with the second part of the rule which stipulates that the tying run must be at least on-deck.

That being said, when a team has a three-run lead in the last inning, managers should view that as a comfortable enough lead to rest your best pitcher. Or, more importantly, the manager should use his best pitcher when the situation calls for a rally to be extinguished. However, Ron Gardenhire prefers to rely on the save rule and by imaginary standards of modern-day management of a team's bullpen ace. These standards dictate that one's closer should work the ninth inning and the ninth inning alone, and only in a desperate emergency should a closer be asked to do anything more than work either in save opportunities or in non-save opportunities in which the pitcher is asked to get some "much needed work" in because of a lack of save chances. A perfect situation reared its head on Friday and Ron Gardenhire mismanaged it again for the zillionth time in his career. The Twins had a 6-3 lead in the eighth inning and the Cubs had two runners on and two out with the dangerous Derrek Lee at the plate representing the tying run. Instead of using Joe Nathan in a big spot, Ron Gardenhire brought in Matt Guerrier to face the Cubs' clean-up hitter. That's Matt Guerrier, folks, he of the Matt Guerrier Special, he of the "we lost the division last season solely because of Matt Guerrier," he of the hanging-curveball-bashed-560-feet reliever. This is what's crazy about it: in a perfect world, Gardenhire would have had Guerrier get out of the eighth and then had Joe Nathan come on in the ninth with a 3-run lead and get three outs and never have to face the tying run. In essence, he's calling on Matt Guerrier to get the most important out of the game -- now, on what planet does that make sense? You're not paying Joe Nathan $12 million a season for nothing. He's your best reliever in the bullpen -- use him in the situations in which you need your best bullpen arm, not because of some statistical qualification. Fortunately for the Twins, Guerrier only let one of his inherited runners to score, and Jason Kubel's home run in the top of the ninth made it a three-run cushion for Nathan to pick up the cheap save in the ninth.

Anthony Swarzak might be starting for the last time in the bigs for a while on Saturday. He got off to a good start in his first two outings for the Twins, but has struggled in his last two, especially on Monday night in Oakland, when he appeared erratic and could not hold a three-run lead for more than two outs. He faces the Cubs on Saturday against Rich Harden, who's once again fresh off the DL. Harden, always plagued by injuries in his career, has been dominant when healthy, but let's see if the droves of Twins fans in attendance can buoy the team to another victory.