APRIL 5, 2010 -- LOS ANGELES 6, MINNESOTA 3

With a group of newly acquired players and a brand-spanking new set of road uniforms, the 2010 season got of to an inauspicious start, as the Twins channeled their April-through-mid-September performance of last season in kicking off this year's campaign with a disappointing 6-3 loss to the Angels. I will say that the opener did not feel like a season opener one bit -- it felt as if it were a mid-season game, and for that I will give both teams credit for not looking rusty. It also felt like a mid-season game for the Twins in the respect that their patheticness in not producing clutch base-hits appeared to be in mid-season form. The Twins didn't get a clutch hit in the late innings from their big stars, and the team went a true-to-form 1 for 6 with runners in scoring position. In probably the biggest at-bat of the game, Justin Morneau hit a scorching line-drive to first base with two outs and the bases jacked in the seventh, one inning after Seldom Young ended the sixth with a bases-loaded flyout. Also in mid-season form: the bullpen surrendering key insurance runs late in the ballgame to stretch a one-run deficit to a three-run deficit. Jose Mijares gave up two solo home runs in the eighth that pretty much sealed the deal for the Angels. Mijares is quickly becoming a left-handed version of Matty Guerrier and Monday's opener may be a harbinger of things to come in 2010.

Scott Baker pitched poorly in the opener, staying consistent in that he neared the 100 pitch count in the fifth inning before getting lifted. Falling behind hitters all game long, Baker put the Twins in an early hole after surrendering two runs in the first inning. Baker is like Johan Santana in the respect that it will take Baker a month or two before getting into his groove. Santana classically struggled in April before getting into lock-down mode once the second half of the season started. Now, Baker's second-half success isn't nearly the same as Santana's post-All Star Game domination of the league, but historically Baker's been much better in the latter half of the season. With the Twins having a tough early schedule, having a struggling Baker may sink the Twins into a deep hole in April. Surely his approach of "let's get behind every hitter I face and lack poise and confidence at every step of the way" is a loser's mentality, and for the Twins to go to Baker on Opening Day, telling the league he's the best we have -- that's a "gulp" moment if I've ever seen one.

Now it's Nick Blackburn's turn in the rotation, and out of all of the pitchers on the starting staff, I have concerns that Blackburn's sinker is going to flatten out this season and hitters will start to drill his pitches with consistent authority. This is a guy who gives up a ton of hits but seems to avoid big innings because he doesn't walk many batters. That control might come back to harm him, as he can't blow away anybody with pure stuff, and hitters may just sit back and wait for a hittable pitch to drive out of the ballpark. We'll get a good indication of how Blackburn's going to be tonight as he faces a patient team in the Angels. They certainly aren't free swingers, and they're the type of team that Blackburn could easily get shelled by. Joe Saunders goes for the Angels.

OCTOBER 9, 2009 -- NEW YORK 4, MINNESOTA 3 (11 innings)

Wow. Unbelievable. As I've said before, you can't lose these games unless you try, or unless you're just in a new category of "pathetic" that I'm just unaware of. Leading 3-1 going into the botom of the ninth, Joe Nathan gives up a single and a mammoth home run to Alex Rodriguez to give up the lead, and then Mark Teixeira comes back in the 11th inning with the game-winning homer off Jose Mijares. Ron Gardenhire didn't do anything during the game that lost the game outright; rather, it was his filling out the lineup that lost the game for the Twins on Friday. I think I thought out loud at least three times as to why Carlos Gomez is even on a major-league roster, much less in the starting lineup in a playoff game. The guy is such absolute doggie do-do that it's hilarious that people actually give the Twins a chance in this series. If I would have known that Gomez would have played Friday, I might as well have just slept through it. Unbelievable that Ron Gardenhire is that stupid. Manager of the Year my ass.


What's even funnier than that is that Brendan Harris propelled the Twins to what would have been a win, and Harris wasn't even in the starting lineup -- Matt Tolbert was, of course. It had to take a pulled muscle to get Tolbert out of the game, and there was Harris, providing the go-ahead triple in the sixth, the key hit to set up the two-run eighth for the Twins, and chipping in on defense with a miraculous Web gem later in the game. The bottom three guys in the Twins lineup -- Gomez, Tolbert, and Punto -- that's Washington Nationals "bad", Pittsburgh Pirates "bad." And you still should have won the game -- unreal. I'll give Punto props, as he delivered a clutch two-out hit in the eighth to put the Twins on top (that hit will probably keep him around for another four years). But I'm not giving Ron Gardenhire props, who I hope was joking when he told TBS reporter/snappy dresser Craig Sager that Punto was "the second best athlete on the team" next to Joe Mauer. That quote prompted me to look up the word 'athlete' in the dictionary, because I don't think Gardy and I are on the same page so to speak. Here it is from dictionary.com:


ath⋅lete 
–noun
a person trained or gifted in exercises or contests involving physical agility, stamina, or strength; a participant in a sport, exercise, or game requiring physical skill. (my emphasis)


OK -- so it doesn't necessary say they have to be good at sports, but merely a participant. But using the modifier "second best" implies that they are good at a particular sport, which just seals the deal -- Ron Gardenhire is the most idiotic, demented, insane man in the game of baseball. If you can hit .220 and play average defense, kids, you're a gold medalist in one man's book. Wow.


Let's get back to Gomez, who was the clear goat in the game. The guy can flat out fly, which was apparently the reason (defense, Gardy'd say, too) that he is even on the postseason roster. Yet Gomez is one of the absolute worst baserunners I've ever seen in my life, and that stupidity cost the Twins a run in the fourth inning. Tolbert actually came through with a hit off Yankee starter A.J. Burnett, sending Seldom Young home with the first run of the game. But wait -- Gomez tripped over his own shoes rounding second and was tagged out trying to go back to second before Young touched home plate, thereby nullifying the run scoring. Just an idiotic turn of events there -- Gomez should be trotting into second base and planting himself there. You're not going first to third there in a million years (I suppose the moronic Gomez probably thought he could), and at the very least, force a run-down so you ensure that the run scores. That blunder was basically the difference in the game, as Gomez proved to everyone, this time on a national scale, that he doesn't belong in the big leagues. But at least Gomez acknowledged his error in a postgame interview, offering his apologies by saying it was "my bad." Oh, OK. I needed that, Carlos.


But that wouldn't be enough for a guy who sucks as bad as Gomez. He had to come through again in the 11th inning, when the Twins started the inning with three straight singles. Seldom Young lined out on the first pitch he saw from reliever David Robertson; that's to be expected from Seldom. Then Ron Gardenhire has Carlos Gomez hit for himself. Huge mistake, Gardy. I'll quote myself from my Doghouse post on Gomez that I wrote way back in June: "This is what Gomez means to me: if the Twins are down by a run in the late innings and the tying run is on third base with one out, Gomez is the last hitter I want at the plate. I'd rather have a pitcher at the plate -- Kevin Slowey, Nick Blackburn, Joe Nathan, hell, even Nick Punto. Gomez folds in the clutch like it's nobody's business, and it's the listless hitting approach and non-existent instincts that make him a Doghouse Denizen for life." Pretty much the same scenario, except that the Twins were tied and would have gone ahead if Gomez can just get the ball in the air. Nope. Instead, he takes one of the most pathetic swings I've ever seen in my life and taps out to first base, and Teixeira throws home to force the runner. Harris flew out after Gomez, and Teixeira would end the game leading off the bottom half of the eleventh. Hooray, Ron Gardenhire! That stroke of managerial prowess lost you another game in the Bronx!


I would like to add that right field umpire Phil Cuzzi delivered one of the absolute worst calls I've ever seen in my life in the eleventh, such a bad call that it makes Mike Muchlinski's infamous home-plate call to end the Oakland Disaster look like a great call. I've always wondered why MLB has outfield umpires in the playoffs; it seems to me that it just means that two more umps can get the calls wrong. Cuzzi is literally fifteen feet away from watching Joe Mauer's fly ball land at least two feet fair and he calls it foul. What's more, outfielder Melky Cabrera touched the ball with his glove! The guy is planted stationary on the field watching nothing but the foul line, and he still gets it wrong. It's just like Richie Garcia's vomit-inducing call in the '96 ALCS when he said that Jeffrey Maier didn't lean over the fence and turn a fly ball into a home run -- the only thing that these outfield umps can do is screw up calls. Now, a lot of people are going to look at that call and do a Gardy and blame the loss on the umpires, but it's hard to tell what would have happened if Mauer had been on second base. Jason Kubel probably would have been trying to "get the guy over to third," i.e. pull the ball on the right side of the infield, and who knows if he would have gotten a hit or not. It likely would have still been up to Seldom Young and Carlos Gomez to blow it in the clutch. And there's no excuses to leaving SEVENTEEN guys on base. But Phil Cuzzi -- jeez, are you that much a Yankee fan or are you simply blind?
Photos: (1,3) AP/Julie Jacobson; (2,4) AP/Kathy Willens; (5) Reuters Pictures

OCTOBER 3, 2009 -- MINNESOTA TWINS 5, KANSAS CITY ROYALS 4

Good morning everyone. My name is Hank Rickenbacher. Unfortunately Howie is dealing with an emergency at the moment. Now don't get too worked up, everything will be just fine. But he could not watch yesterday's game, so he asked me, his neighbor for going on 22 strong years now, and also treasurer of the local social club we started together (Association of Recreational Cartographers, Apiarists, and Needlepoint Enthusiasts), to put up this internet blog today. Old Howie says I'm quite the carmudgeon but my dear wife Betsy likes to say it's just that every now and then I wake up on the long side of the bed, especially when it comes to my beloved Twins.

And what an interesting time to be a Twins fan. Yesterday they were going up against Zack Greinke, one of the best young pitchers in the division. (I've noticed a lot of young bucks are named Zack these days.) The Twins needed to win to put pressure on the Tigers, who were playing the dysfunctional White Sox later in the day. Things were looking bleak. But as Mickey Mantle once said, it isn't quite over unless the fat lady is singing. And the fat lady is quiet as a doornail today.

Nick Blackburn continues to emerge as the closest thing to a big-game pitcher (or player) the Twins have. If only he could be consistent all year we might have a true ace on our hands. He outdueled Greinke to the tune of four hits and two runs over seven. Of course after giving up a double in the eighth to Miguel Olivo, Gardenhire yanked Blackburn before the line drive even hit the carpet. Talk about knee jerk (though no one should ever give up doubles to Miguel Olivo).

Up until that point Blackburn had given up just a lone moon ball to somebody named Jacobs that is apparently Kansas City's cleanup hitter. The score was 4-1 thanks to a four-run sixth for the Twins, an inning which serves as devastating verification of the first rule of pitching in the major leagues: DO NOT WALK NICK PUNTO. Ever, ever, ever. I could practically hear snickers coming from the Twins dugout. Fast forward to two outs and Punto on third, and Mauer rips a screamer to right for a 1-0 lead. (I know this won't make me many friends, but it's about time Mauer got a clutch hit.) Even though the broadcasting geometry fanatic Bert Blyleven was sure this would be enough to win the game with the way Blackburn was throwing, Mauer's hit was only the tip of the icebox. With a bases-clearing double (an assist must go to Royals right fielder Teahen, who took a line as if he wanted to hug the center fielder instead of catch the ball), Delmon Young now has more RBIs in the last two games than in his entire Twins career. Now, I don't want to promote violence or anything, but the Twins may want to get an opposing pitcher to throw at Young again as in Detroit, as it seemed to wake him up from the 2-year nap that has been his Twins career.

The lead of course did not last as Mijares got back at his teammates for calling him out after Thursday's melee by promptly giving up a moon ball to the light hitting Alex Gordon, undoubtedly the longest ball that kid has ever hit, probably by double.

I had a bad feeling about where this game was going, but in the bottom of the eight Cuddyer hit a nice home run and the Twins won 5-4. Good win, but I don't think the Twins can count on Young to carry them for another game. Cabrera was the only other Twin with 2 hits, and while he's a nice player he isn't going to make anyone forget Zoilo Versalles any time soon.

So today is the last game at HHH Metrodome. And let me say good riddens. I for one have not been to a Twins game since they left the Met. I don't think Wilbur Doubleday intended for the national past time to be played indoors. Plus Humphrey was a yes man and soft on everything, and I don't know why we should name ballparks after him. I told Betsy I'd never go to the Metrodome as long as it was named after that hippie, and it looks like I made it. I'm looking forward to next year, or rather next June 20th, as that's about the only time the weather will make it worth going down to Target Field. Although with all the crime and drugs and littering in Minneapolis, I'm not sure I'll make it to the new ballpark either.

The Twins go for the sweep today. With the Tigers loss last night, the Twins just need to win to ensure a playoff on Tuesday. They are going to trot out Carl Pavano on three days rest, while the Royals will throw Luke Hochevar. Game time is 1:10. Thanks to Betsy for the help and to Howie for the chance to do this. Here's hoping the big guy will be back tomorrow.

Photos: (AP Photo/Jim Mone)

AUGUST 25, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 7, BALTIMORE 6

Another one-run squeeker against one of the worst teams in the American League goes the Twins way, as Seldom Young's fourth hit of the ballgame drove home the winning run with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning. The Twins clawed their way back from three runs down twice against the Orioles' horrendous pitching staff, and the game featured a little poetic justice, as the Twins' three runs in the sixth were charged to former Twins great Brian Bass, who at least pitched the sixth inning like he did last season with the Twins. These games are very important for the Twins if they feel like playing well the rest of the way, as their easy, easy schedule affords them the opportunity to play last-place and second-division clubs frequently down the stretch. After Baltimore leaves town after Wednesday's tilt, the Twins entertain two playoff contenders, Texas and Chicago, so it's imperative to beat the teams that you need to beat. With Detroit's second consecutive impressive win in Anaheim against the Angels, the Twins fail to gain any ground on the division leader, but with the White Sox loss in Boston, the Twins have moved into a tie for second place. More importantly, the Twins are back to the .500 mark, which is certainly impressive seeing as they were six games under .500 just a little over a week ago. Yes, the season-long five game win streak was compiled against the likes of Baltimore and Kansas City, but the way the Twins play (i.e., inconsistently), any run of victories is for sure a good sign.

The Armando Gabino experiment failed miserably, to say the least. Gabino was all over the plate, showing no signs that he was even ready to pitch in the big leagues or wanted to, for that matter. The ineffectiveness and the surprising early-onset male pattern baldness will likely combine to make Gabino's major-league stint a short-lived and somewhat forgettable. Even idiots like Ron Gardenhire and Rick Anderson know that they can't survive getting only eight outs from their starters. That's bad enough, but when you've got Philip Humber and Bobby Keppel as your options beyond the poor start, that just compounds the mistakes. If the Twins had been facing a halfway decent opponent on Tuesday, the score wouldn't have been close. But the Orioles pitching staff is worse off than the Twins (and that's saying a lot, mind you) and starter Brian Matusz nearly matched Gabino's lack of command, and the Twins were able to come back on Baltimore. Any game just wouldn't be complete without a Ron Gardenhire head-scratcher, and Tuesday's came compliments of Gardy delusionally believing that Jesse Crain could go a third inning in relief. Crain had completed two solid innings of relief to keep the Twins in the game, and Gardenhire put him out to start the ninth. Let me get something clear, Gardy -- you get six outs out of Jesse Crain in a week, you should be satisfied. If Crain is able to get six outs in a game, you take him out of there like he just committed a crime. Sure as shit, Crain gives up a leadoff double in the ninth, and only Jose Mijares' superb relief stint made it possible for the Twins to win it in the ninth. It all goes back to a familiar theme with Ron Gardenhire, and that's his babying protection of Joe Nathan. If the game's tied in the ninth and you're at home, you put your closer into the ballgame. You don't keep your sixth-best relief pitcher on the mound to try to get a third inning out of him. But, hey, Nathan pitched fifty pitches last week, so he still needs the rest.

Photos: AP/Andy King

JULY 25, 2009 -- LOS ANGELES 11, MINNESOTA 5

For the third time in six games, the Twins give up seven-plus runs in an inning -- that's got to be some sort of record for futility, at least a club record or something -- and this time it's a nine-run fourth inning that's the doom of Nick Blackburn and the Twins. I have a sneak feeling that Ron Gardenhire's awesome decision to rest his ace pitcher for a week and a half is still producing terrible results for the Twins, as Blackburn has shown absolutely none of the confidence and poise, not to mention sharp sinkers, that he displayed for most of the first half. Let's not forget that the Angels' nine-run inning was bookended by home runs from power-deficient hitters Chone Figgins and Maicier Izturis, the latter hitting his three-run bomb off R.A. Dickey, who appears to be settling back to his early-season yuckiness. And let's also not forget that the nine-run inning is not the worst inning that a Ron Gardenhire-managed team has had in Anaheim; the last game of the 2002 ALCS featured a ten-run inning that sealed the Angels' first trip and only to the World Series (and it included a guy named Adam Kennedy goin' Reggie Jackson on the Twins' asses), and Ron Gardenhire hasn't been close to the Series since then.


Down 9-2, the Twins did end up scoring three times in the seventh inning and had a bevy of chances throughout the game to make it interesting, but yet again the clutch hitting for the Twins failed them miserably. They went 2 for 12 with runners in scoring position, and seemed to mount a rally every inning but consistently choked with two outs. Spot starter and 30-year old rookie Matt Palmer showed everyone why he's a spot starter and 30-year old rookie, never getting ahead on any hitters and working basically all day out of the stretch. Michael Cuddyer, always the choker in the clutch, fouled out to first base with two on and two out in the first. Denard Span had two terrible at-bats, tapping back to the pitcher with two on and two out in the second and then swinging at two pitches which would have been ball four in the fourth inning -- obviously Span was still thinking that Casilla or Punto were hitting behind him and not Joe Mauer; had Span been smart and taken those pitches, Mauer would have hit with two runners on base. The Twins started the sixth inning with two straight singles and had runners on at first and third and nobody out, but then Brendan Harris flew out, Mike "No Gas Left in the Tank" Redmond struck out and Alexi Casilla -- well, you know what happens when Casilla hits. Failing to score that inning would prove even more costly when the Twins ended up putting three on the board in the seventh (though a bigger inning was prevented when Justin Morneau grounded into a double play with two on and nobody out), but reliever Jose Mijares took care of any "rally" the Twins may have by walking two guys in the eighth and letting both score. To add insult to injury, Michael Cuddyer popped out with a guy on third and one out in the ninth. All in all, it was a pathetic day at the ballpark for the Twins, and because Fox aired the game, the whole country got to see how bad of a team that the Twins really are.


If it weren't for them being in the weakest division in baseball, the Twins would be well out of playoff contention already. As it stands, with the Tigers winning three in a row and the Twins dropping four straight, the Twins are five games out as the trade deadline nears. I've been one who has said that they desperately need bullpen help and also have glaring holes up the middle (like those will be addressed, though). But the way this road trip has gone, I have to agree with the guys over at Fire Gardy when I say that there's no point right now in improving the ballclub. Will a bullpen guy really put this team over the top? And the real fact of the matter is is that the Twins are far from actually contending; by that I mean that even though they still have a shot to win the Central, if they get into the playoffs, how in Sam Hell are they going to compete with the Yankees, Red Sox, and Angels? They're a combined 5-14 against those teams, and there's not even a team on the fringe that the Twins match up well against. If it's just going to be another Ron Gardenhire three-and-done trip to the playoffs, what's the point? They've done that the last three times they've made the postseason, and each time that it happens it hurts a little bit more. The Twins aren't the Royals; a trip to the playoffs would not be an accomplishment in itself. If I'm a player on the Twins (or the manager), I'm not satisfied until I win the World Series. That should be the goal, but unfortunately both the front office and the field staff believe that the Central Divison is the end-all goal for the team. And like Fire Gardy opines, if the Twins aren't buyers at the trade deadline (which they've never been, except for a Phil Nevin here and an Eddie Guardado there), there's not much that the Twins can offer to other teams, either. Four months into the season, the Twins are languishing at two games below .500; frankly I don't see how the team can "turn it on" like everyone thinks they're going to. For the Twins to win 90 games, they'll have to pull off a 42-22 stretch, and I just don't think that's going to happen.


Just one more game to lose here in Anaheim, and then the Twins get to go home and face the White Sox and Angels in a week-long homestand. Anthony Swarzak has been the only starter to pitch well in the past week for the Twins, and he gets the task of getting the Twins off the mat for the second straight start; he was the pitcher who did his job last Tuesday following the Oakland Disaster. He opposes Angel flamethrower Ervin Santana.

JUNE 27, 2009 -- ST. LOUIS 5, MINNESOTA 3

The score basically could have been Albert Pujols 2, Kevin Slowey 0. Slowey gave up two home runs to the Cardinals superstar on two pitches that I think a pitcher could have hit out of the park -- hell, Nick Punto could maybe have gotten a double on those pitches. Ron Gardenhire has too much class to walk Pujols, so he'd rather lose the game than play "embarrassing baseball," as he put it. Wait, wait, wait a minute -- you'd rather pitch to the only guy in the St. Louis lineup that can do any sort of damage just so you can keep up your street cred? Look, Gardenhire, you're no Crip and the Bloods want no part of you after all. Whether or not it's an intentional or unintentional walk, put the guy on base and give yourself a chance to win! You did exactly that after his first two home runs -- why not nip the deficit that you're in before it even happens by sticking to that gameplan all along?

This is different than playing the Yankees, whose lineup is so formidable that to give up key hits to the sore thumbs of the lineup will cost you dearly, as the Twins proved in May. Look at the Cardinals lineup -- Yadier Molina hits fifth for the Redbirds; Ryan Ludwick is apparently playing part time baseball now; the rest of the lineup is cluttered with Joe Schmos and "some guys." Some guy named Skip Schumacher is hitting lead off for St. Louis, rookies like Tyler Greene and Cody Rasmus are playing everyday. Albert Pujols sticks out like a sore thumb in a good way for the Cardinals -- in that he's the only good player that they have. Just like you say to yourself that Francisco Cervelli and Brett Gardner can't beat you when you play the Yankees, you've got to say that Pujols, because of the lineup that surrounds him, cannot be the guy that you lose the game to. Let Rick Ankiel and Chris Duncan win the game for you -- at least then it might be a bit of a surprise. Ron Gardenhire would have none of that, however. He defended his decision by not walking Pujols in the at-bats in which he would end up homering against Kevin Slowey by saying, "If you want to just [intentionally] walk him every time up, I think that's embarrassing baseball. That's ridiculous baseball." No, Gardenhire. What's ridiculous is that a major-league manager would watch Pujols hit not one but two home runs against you when the situation obviously dictates that you don't give the guy anything good to hit. Okay, so you don't intentionally walk him -- tell Slowey to bean him, or throw four out of the zone "unintentionally." There's no loss of integrity by intentionally walking the best hitter in the National League when there's runners on base. If you intentionally walked him with the bases empty, sure, that's kind of a dickhead move. But especially in the third, when there were two out and Slowey had already given up a home run to Pujols, you've got to at least pitch around him. Instead, Slowey gives him a straight, 90 mile-an-hour fastball right down the pipe, and Pujols hits it to Jefferson City. That's ridiculous baseball, Gardenhire.

The offense did not fare too much better either on Saturday. Todd Wellemeyer struggled in a horrendous 2 1/3 innings and the Twins were only able to get a lucky two-out three-run single off the bat of Brendan Harris that should have been caught by left fielder Chris Duncan. Tony LaRussa gave Wellemeyer an early shower in the third inning, and the Twins hit the rest of the way against the mediocre (read: much better than the Twins') bullpen of the Cardinals. Josh Kinney and his Sean Henn-esque 8.50 ERA ended up with the victory, and a menage of other retreads buckled the hapless Twins for 6 and 2/3 innings, no-namers like Kyle McClellan and Jason Motte combined with veteran lefties Trever Miller and Dennys Reyes, jowls and all, who is certainly familiar to Twins fans, as he was pretty effective out of a largely ineffective bullpen last year for the Twins. Considering Reyes' replacement, Jose Mijares, can belly up to any buffet as good as Reyes can, it's not as if we lost a whole lot (maybe ten pounds, give or take -- just give Mijares some time). If we still had Reyes, however, we probably would not have gotten to know Sean Henn, and that would have been for the best. Henn pitched for the first time since last Saturday's MGS and continued his ineffectiveness by walking two batters. The highlight of the game for the Twins was probably Bobby Keppel, who made a good debut with the Twins in his new role, which is basically the new R.A. Dickey. Keppel pitched for scoreless innings in relief of Slowey, who only went three innings. What, may you ask, was a large reason why Keppel was able to throw zeroes in those innings? He walked Albert Pujols twice.

Now the Twins have to count on Francisco Liriano to win the series on Sunday, and Liriano's been nothing close to what the Twins wanted out of him. Furthermore, the Twins have to face Joel Pineiro, against whom the Twins have never done much against and Pineiro is fresh off a two-hit shutout against the Mets his last start. The Twins were lucky to get one win in St. Louis, and Ron Gardenhire made sure that his team would drop at least one to the Cardinals, as sort of a tip of the cap to Tony LaRussa. A good way that Gardenhire can assure his team of losing the series is to continue pitching to the only good hitter the Cardinals have. He might not have a choice -- if Liriano continues his trend of pitching two balls to every strike, Pujols might be coming to the plate with a lot of runners on base on Sunday.

JUNE 26, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 3, ST. LOUIS 1

The Twins snag an easy, breezy win in hot and humid St. Louis Friday night, as they ride the pitching prowess of Glen Perkins and the shaky bullpen to a 3-1 win. A clutch two-out hit from Jason Kubel in the first inning provided the spark for the Twins, who were also aided by a Cardinal error in scoring their second run of the opening frame. Michael Cuddyer singled home Kubel in the sixth inning for the Twins' final run, and the lead would hold up against the shockingly average Cardinal lineup. I said in Milwaukee that I was unimpressed with the Brewer lineup and surprised that they were just a game out of first place; now I'm even more flabbergasted to see the Cardinals, who held first place coming into the game. Beyond Albert Pujols and maybe Ryan Ludwick, the Cardinals offense scares no one, and their pitching isn't overwhelming either. I'd love to say, hey, it's a credit to Tony LaRussa's expert managing that he always seems to find a way to compete with the players he's given, but people say that all the time about Ron Gardenhire, and I've found that to be undeserved praise. Some teams just get lucky consistently, and that's certainly the case with Ron Gardenhire's Twins, and it's also probably true with the Cardinals. Both teams are fortunate to play in weak divisions, but what separates the two is LaRussa's actual talent as a playoff manager. Gardenhire's good enough to get the team into the playoffs, but LaRussa isn't satisfied with that. He's been to the playoffs literally thirteen times with three ballclubs -- he wants to win the World Series, dammit, and he's done that twice, too.

In the top half of the eighth inning, Matt Tolbert struck out in front of the pitcher's spot for the third out of the inning, making it possible for Glen Perkins to go out and pitch the bottom half of the inning. With 82 pitches and in complete command of the game, it would be the logical choice. After all, your bullpen has failed you consistently for a few seasons in a row, now, and even Ron Gardenhire himself said that he'd like to get more innings out of his starters. Well, what you could do for a start is not take out Glen Perkins after 82 pitches. Of course, unreliable ol' Matty Guerrier started the eighth inning and promptly gave up two singles. There seemed to be a collective rumbling from Twins Nation that said, "Here we go again," but then Guerrier came back to strike out Tyler Greene, and then surprisingly Ron Gardenhire came out of the dugout and brought in Jose Mijares to face Skip Schumacher. It's going to be a collective Matt Guerrier Special, I thought, but then Mijares bailed out Guerrier, Gardenhire, and the Twins by inducing a double-play grounder on the only pitch he threw. Joe Nathan came in and pitched a clean ninth inning, and perhaps providing the highlight of the game when he fanned Pujols when the slugger represented the tying run.

No doubt Gardenhire would have cited the unbearable St. Louis heat for taking out Glen Perkins. Gardenhire's a better liar than most of us think, and he gives more excuses than a petulent five year old. He may have even referred to a scary incident in the stands, when a fan toppled headfirst from the second deck to the lower bowl of the stadium from an apparent case of fainting. "We need Perk ready for his next start," Gardy would likely cop out. Most likely, however, taking out Perkins on Friday was directly influenced by his decision to keep Nick Blackburn in the game on Wednesday, and that ended with Blackburn giving up the Little League home run that lost the game for them. And that whole spiel about "keeping the starters in longer?" Yeah, you can pretty much throw that out the window. The only thing that's probably going to change is that Sean Henn won't be called on to lose games anymore, and his role has likely been relegated to long-relief mop-up duty. Gardenhire just feels a heckuva lot more comfortable losing with Matt Guerrier in the eighth, and with the status quo resumed, we're probably in for a sequel of last year -- by that I mean a second place finish. They won't be nearly as close as they came in 2008, though; my odds are that the Tigers will run away with the division, winning it by about ten games.

MAY 27, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 4, BOSTON 2

Another victory for the Twins against the BoSox on Wednesday, as they beat the erratic Daisuke Matsuzaka, who threw four wild pitches in five sloppy innings. Kevin Slowey pitched good enough to get his seventh win on the season against only one defeat. His 99-pitch performance was deemed good enough for Ron Gardenhire, who lucked out with his bullpen on Wednesday. Jose Mijares pitched a clean seventh inning and started the eighth. Mijares got the first batter, and with two right-handed hitters up (and lefty David Ortiz following that), The Brain chose to keep Mijares in the game. Mijares would walk Kevin Youkilis, which prompted Gardenhire to bring in Matt Guerrier to face Jason Bay, one of the best hitters in the league. Talk about a mismatch, but Gardenhire lucked out again, as Bay grounded into a double play.

My question is, why stick with Mijares if you're going to take him out if he puts a man on base anyways? The only scenario in which Mijares would have finished the inning is if he got both right-handed batters out, or if he got Youkilis, Bay reached base, and Mijares faced Ortiz. If you're going to overmanage the game, overmanage it. Bring Guerrier in to face Youkilis and see what that gives you. It's these kind of moves that just make one scratch their heads. Suppose Guerrier gave up a hit to Bay -- now what do you do? Do you bring in lefty Sean Henn to face Ortiz? Are you prepared to use seven pitchers in an inning, Gardenhire? Moving a guy like Francisco Liriano to the bullpen would alleviate these concerns, as he could be that one or two-inning reliever that could bridge the gap from the starter to Joe Nathan, or at the very least be a consistent eighth-inning option. As long as Ron Gardenhire is committed to taking out his starters after six innings and 99 pitches, he's going to have nights like this, where his bullpen does its job. But probably more often he's going to have bullpen implosions, but apparently Ron Gardenhire is willing to let that happen thousands of times before he changes his gameplan.

Late in the ballgame, when Joe Nathan was warming up in the bullpen, the TV cameras caught a glimpse of Luis Ayala filling a role that I think is just fantastic -- ball boy. He was the guy that was "guarding" Nathan by defending possible foul balls from hitting the pitcher warming up. Talk about a really good role for Ayala -- too bad he would have to be the most expensive (and oldest, probably) ball boy in the history of the game. But it's a change that I certainly welcome. The way this guy throws the baseball makes one vomit.

Speaking of vomit, Nick Punto made up for his RBI single on Tuesday by sucking it up big time on Wednesday. He committed an error on a routine groundball in the first inning -- his fifth error of the season. As I've said before, the only way this guy has any value to a team is if he plays shortstop like Luis Aparicio. Instead, Punto's on pace for a 15-20 error season at shortstop, which is pretty pedestrian for a shortstop. The error almost led to a run for the Red Sox, as Dustin Pedroia was at third with one out. Slowey bailed out his shortstop by pitching out of that jam, but later in the game Punto made up for it at the plate. With Carlos Gomez on third (pinch-running, mind you -- it's not like he made it to third by himself) and one out, Punto was at the plate in a 4-2 ballgame. For whatever the reason, Ron Gardenhire didn't safety squeeze Gomez home -- he let Punto swing away. Of course, the guy meekly grounded out to second base, and Gomez was cut off trying to score on the play. In reality the guy that got hurt the most by Punto's patheticness was Red Sox catcher George Kattaras, who was bowled over by Gomez at the plate in a bone-rattling collision. Part of the blame has to go on Gardenhire here -- dude, do you know how bad Punto sucks at the plate? Do you watch to same game that I do? One thing that Punto can do fairly well is bunt the ball (it is, after all, the easiest thing to do in all of sports). Think of it this way -- if you're in the National League, what would you do in that situation if the pitcher was batting? Do you think you'd let him swing away?

The Twins go for the series win on Thursday afternoon, and Anthony Swarzak battles Red Sox ace Josh Beckett. Swarzak's major league debut went along swimmingly, and he'll no doubt have a tougher challenge on Thursday. Here's more good luck to the youngster; if he continues to pitch well, the Twins will be forced to make a rotation alteration. My stance remains the same -- move Liriano to the bullpen. It's not that I don't like Liriano -- I do, but I think that the move would be better for Liriano, the bullpen, and the team. Considering that, Ron Gardenhire probably won't do it.