APRIL 14, 2010 -- BOSTON 6, MINNESOTA 3

The first weather-affected game goes against the Twins, as the Red Sox get the clutch hits and take the middle game of the three-game series. The Twins offense was dreadfully pathetic, as they couldn't come up with the big hit all game long. The key at-bat in the game came in the seventh inning, when the Twins loaded the bases with two outs. Boston was up a run at 3-2 and brought in Hideki Okajima to face Justin Morneau. Morneau, predictably, popped up -- just about as pitiful of an at-bat as you could come up with. Jesse Crain then returned to his old self in the top of the eighth by surrendering three insurance runs to effectively put the nail in the coffin. Those three runs were driven in by none other than Jeremy Hermida, no doubt the weak link in the Boston lineup. What Crain's history will tell you is that when he struggles, all that he can figure out to throw is a straight fastball, and that's when bad hitters like Hermida can feast on Crain. Many people were expecting big things from Crain this year, but I'm pretty skeptical. The only big thing I see from Crain in 2010 is his ERA (hey-o!). Worth mentioning as well is Michael Cuddyer's fly-out to end the game. He represented the tying run and of course failed to deliver. His home run in the eighth was classic Cuddyer -- a meaningless homer that pads the stats and looks good on his baseball card. If he would ever hit a homer that would actually mean something...

Kevin Slowey pitched poorly, barely getting through five innings and obviously struggling to pitch through the weather. As mentioned before, Crain's terrible outing put a stain on the bullpen's overall impressive start to the season, and they'll be getting some help in the form of Ron Mahay, who was called up from extended spring training. Alex Burnett drank his cup of coffee and he's back to Rochester and will likely sink into Twins oblivion. The Mahay call-up has everything to do with Jose Mijares, who's looked as good as a pregnant woman on roller skates so far this year. As Hank eluded to yesterday, to see Ron Gardenhire put Brian Douchebag late in the game for multiple innings is a plan waiting to backfire. Mahay's endurance is questionable, however -- he's always been a lefty to face a batter or two; certainly not full innings. In a sense, the Twins got an emergency pinch-hitter, too. Some may be surprised to hear that Mahay first broke into the big leagues as an outfielder for the Red Sox. His numbers translate to a Nick Punto-esque kind of career at the plate, so it's a great thing that he turned out to be left-handed, because he's made quite a career for himself out of pitching exclusively to left-handed batters.

Just as a quick sidenote, we are officially nine games into the season (that's 153 to go!) and Dick Bremer is already in pennant chase mode. In the middle of Wednesday's game, he was giving all-too-frequent-for-the-middle-of-April updates on the Kansas City-Detroit game, saying that it'd be a "good thing" if the Royals were able to beat the Tigers. Dude, it's APRIL. Last season is over -- there is no need to keep us apprised of the Tigers. For all we know, the Royals might be the team to catch this season -- it wouldn't be good for the Twins if KC won then, would it? Just do me a favor Dick: give it fifty games at least before you start blowing shit out of proportion. 50 games. That's all I ask.

Photos: AP/Andy King

APRIL 6, 2010 -- MINNESOTA 5, LOS ANGELES 3

The Twins ride the power of three home runs and, after a shaky start, Nick Blackburn settled down and pitched into the seventh inning, notching the first victory of the season for the Twins. Three first-inning runs proved to be the difference in the ballgame, as Joe Mauer's two-run home run provided the spark the Twins needed, and Justin Morneau and J. J. Hardy also hit their first home runs of the season. With Ron Gardenhire forced to leave the ballgame because of "flu-like symptoms," one of the drones had to fill in, in this case Scott Ullger, who proceeded to make the same ticky-tacky managerial moves that has come to be expected from The Brain. A computer could very well manage this ballclub, as Gardenhire has become merely mechanical in his in-game management.

Brian Douchebag got a key out in the seventh, making fans across the upper Midwest wonder why Brian Douchebag is asked to get key outs in the seventh inning. Matt Guerrier pitched a clean eighth which prompted Dick Bremer to personally induct Guerrier into the Hall of Fame, and Jon Rauch mowed down the Angels in the ninth, the first of many saves Rauch will pick up that Joe Nathan couldn't have done any better. As I've said before, the closer's job is perhaps the most overrated role in all of professional sports, and actually (don't jump out of your chair or anything) the Twins might be better off without Nathan in the ninth, for the simple reason that Ron Gardenhire classically underused Nathan. Maybe Gardy will be more apt to go to Rauch in the eighth inning, something that was anathema when Nathan was healthy. Gardenhire constantly babied Nathan and, as a result, lost more games in the eighth inning because he refused to put his best pitcher in the game. If anything, Rauch is a more durable reliever, and he could go for a two-inning save with relative ease. Of course, that won't happen with Ron Gardenhire managing this group or any group for that matter. When you struggled to play baseball successfully, as Gardenhire's brief playing career indicates, your talent appraising skills aren't the best, and real talent is something to be feared. How else do you explain the consistent benefit of the doubt given to slugs like Nick Punto and Matt Guerrier? Anyways, Rauch is guaranteed to get 30 saves. With any luck and a good offense that will provide Rauch many save opportunities, he could get 60 saves. That's why the closer's position is so overrated. Frankie Rodriguez had a terrible season with the Mets last year after setting the record for saves in 2008 -- a worse team and a lack of luck cut Rodriguez's saves in half in one season's time.

Carl Pavano toes the rubber tonight for the Twins, and like Blackburn, Pavano's a guy to keep your eye on. His stuff is eminently hittable, and he wasn't all that good last season with the Twins (don't believe what Dick Bremer will tell you -- Pavano was average at best after joining the ballclub). In an interesting irony, Pavano is currently on track to pitch the home opener, which means that he would have started the final game in Metrodome history and the first game in Target Field history. If that happens, that'd be a nice factoid for uncles to spring on unsuspecting nephews for Christmas gatherings aplenty in the future.

Photos: (1) AP/Jae C. Hong; (2) AP/Ann Heisenfelt

SEPTEMBER 29, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 3-5, DETROIT 2-6

The Twins and Tigers split the twinbill that was prompted by Monday's rain showers, and unfortunately the Twins open play on Wednesday in exactly the same position that they did on Tuesday. Frankly the Twins were lucky to get a split, as they nearly lost the first game all by themselves (namely Mr. Nick Punto). It's ironic that the play from guys like Tolbert and Punto have not been May-esque, i.e. they haven't been losing games consistently like they've done most of the season (or their careers for that matter). What's worse is that this two week stretch of decent play from these guys has made Ron Gardenhire believe that they can be trusted in huge situations. When the season's on the line, Nick Punto will show his true colors, and that wasn't more evident in the ninth inning of the first game, when his suicide squeeze turned out to be one of the most pathetic "ploys" by a "contending" team I've ever seen. It failed miserably for Gardy and company, and if not for a great catch by Denard Span in the bottom of the ninth, the Twins wouldn't have had the opportunity to win it in extra frames.

And then the nightcap, where Brian Duensing reverted back to his Douchebag status, at least for 4 and 2/3 innings, when he graciously put the team in a 5-0 hole. The Twins clawed back, getting back to 5-4 against Tigers ace Justin Verlander, but still could not afford the big hit in the big situation. Jim Leyland, to his credit, kept his ace pitcher in for the pressure situations. For the second time this month, he let Verlander pitch into the eighth inning against the Twins when his pitch count was over 120, something that Ron Gardenhire would probably have a heart attack just thinking about. Verlander got the strikeouts in the clutch situations, and certainly deserved to win. The game was still within reach, however, until Matty Guerrier came in to "hold the fort" down in the eighth, and he gave up that oh-so-important insurance run compliments of a Curtis Granderson home run. Sure enough, the Twins rally to get one run in the top of the ninth (ironically, on a fly ball Granderson misplayed for a double). Guerrier hasn't pitched much of late and the least he can do is get three guys out to protect a one-run deficit. But we all know that Guerrier late in the season loves to suck, so this was a fitting performance from a terrible reliever.

I'm not willing to forget that ninth inning quickly, either, when Ron Gardenhire, in his infinite wisdom, allowed Tolbert and Punto to hit for themselves against Tiger closer Fernando Rodney. Punto was up there and his fly ball to Granderson was nothing more than a medium-deep drive to center that Granderson misplayed. In other words, Gardenhire was willing to end the game with Nick Punto at the plate. Yeah, both players have been playing better and they're no longer flirting with the Mendoza Line. But the fact remains is that both players are still pathetic excuses for a major league baseball player. Tolbert's hitting a paltry .223, and Punto's .232 average is certainly peckish. You've got guys on the bench that, while they're not all that great (Buscher and Harris come to mind immediately), they're not in the league of futility that those to "ballplayers" belong in. But if you ask Ron Gardenhire, I guarantee he'll tell you that a major reason the Twins have gotten back in the race is because of Punto and Tolbert hitting "like they're capable of." This is who we're dealing with, people. A man who has faith in Nick Punto.

The Twins get to face the Tigers' version of Douchebag (or would it be Manship?) in Eddie Bonine tonight, but let's not forget that Bonine took a no-hitter into the sixth inning in his last start against the White Sox before finally giving up a few runs. Carl Pavano's been great against the Tigers this year, and expect Dick Bremer to mention that about fifteen times before 6:30. For all intents and purposes, the Twins need to win the last two games to have a realistic shot at the division. Something tells me that this has all been one big tease.
Photos: (1) AP/Paul Sancya; (2,3) AP/Duane Burleson

AUGUST 31, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 4, CHICAGO 1

A solid game for the Twins, in which they actually get a good pitching performance from Nick Blackburn, who notched his first win since Ron Gardenhire's ingenious idea to rest a sinkerball pitcher for ten games straddling the All-Star Break. Granted, the win came against the Chicago White Sox, who traded Jim Thome and Jose Contreras after the game and most likely were working on deals to send Jermaine Dye and Scott Linebrink to other contenders, too. Six games out with a month to go, the White Sox have basically risen to white flag, and will try to collect themselves for a serious run next season. Though it's not the best PR-type move, it's probably the correct move, as the White Sox acknowledge (especially after starting this crucial roadtrip 1-7, playing top-eschelon teams like the Yankees and Red Sox and finding out that they just can't compete with the cream of the crop) that they won't go far this season, even if they make the playoffs, and players like Thome and Contreras are in the declining phases of their careers anyway. Their two top acquisitions, Jake Peavy and Alex Rios, are real pieces of their future rather than temporary stopgaps to win a weak division this season (Orlando Cabrera and Carl Pavano, anybody?).


Getting back to Monday's game, it was nice to see Nick Blackburn turn the corner, as he's going to be perhaps the most important piece in the Twins' drive to a division title. Scott Baker and Carl Pavano are certainly not a scary 1-2 punch, and without a solid 3 behind them (Blackburn), their weaknesses are going to be greatly accentuated. If Blackburn can pitch even half as good as he was going before The Brain had his genius idea to rest him for ten days between the All-Star break, the Twins' playoff chances are going to be that much better. If not, that means more pressure on guys like Jeff Manship (making his first major-league start tonight [gulp]) and Brian Douchebag, and if you thought at the beginning of the season that the Twins would be depending on Brian Douchebag and Jeff Manship, you'd probably have laughed, and hard. Glen Perkins apparently isn't the answer, as he was optioned down to Triple-A after he was activated from the disabled list, but hey, there's potential help on the way -- Boof Bonser might be ready to pitch by the end of the season!! Here's a guy who's so bad that his 2008 season made the Matt Guerrier Horror Show look like Sesame Street. Not that Ron Gardenhire lost any sort of faith in the guy, what with his 5.93 ERA and all.


You probably noticed that there was nary a mention of the rumor that the Twins had claimed Rich Harden off waivers from the Cubs and were trying to work out a deal with Chicago for the right-handed power pitcher. I've been around the block with this club to know with absolute certainty that that sort of move just never happens with this club. Sure, Harden would've been a great pick-up, likely becoming the staff ace (by default, no less). But it's just entertaining to think how those trade talks would have went. Cubs GM Jim Hendry would have explained to Bill Smith his side of the story:
HENDRY: "He's a free agent at the end of the year and we'd get two high draft picks if we lost him, so we're not just going to give him away for nothing. How 'bout that Valencia that you've got, and we kind of like that Rob Delaney, too."
SMITH: "Well, how's Matt Tolbert, Yohan Pino -- oh wait, I just traded him last week -- um, Armando Gabino, and I've got this two-for-one coupon from Domino's..."
HENDRY: "What? OK, how about either Valencia or Delaney or Slama and then a lower prospect."
SMITH: "You're right. Tolbert's just too much like the player we want around here. Frankly I don't know what Ron's doing with Tolbert in Rochester. So, how about Tyler Ladendorf? He's good, you know. And I've got this thing with Netflix, where I can give new customers a 30-day trial for free. I'd get a free rental by referring you, so it'd help us both out. Do you have Netflix?"
HENDRY: [click]
SMITH: "Jim?"

Photos: (1) AP/Paul Battaglia; (2) www.sethspeaks.net; (3) AP/Paul Beaty

AUGUST 29, 2009 -- TEXAS 3, MINNESOTA 0

The Twins follow up a nice victory against the Rangers on Friday with a pitiful effort against Scott Feldman and company, as they aren't able to score a single run off the Texas pitching staff and lose 3-0. Yet again, the Twins can't buy a hit with runners in scoring position, as they revert back to their old selves and strike out with guys at third and one out, as was the case so often for most of the season. The two biggest threats that the Twins posed were in the fifth and sixth innings against Feldman; in the fifth, Alexi Casilla struck out with Brendan Harris on third and one out. As you've probably noticed, Casilla's name has been largely absent from this site for a while, mainly because he was hitting much better than he had earlier in the season (granted, it's only a small accomplishment to raise your batting average from the .160-range to .201), but for that kind of non-production, Casilla's once again persona non grata here at the MTRC. Jason Kubel popped up in the same situation an inning later, and Michael Cuddyer's strike out to end the inning (what? Michael Cuddyer striking out in a pressure situation? No, really?) was the final nail in the coffin for the Twins. They didn't get a guy on base over the final three innings, and went softly into the night against the competitive Rangers. Again, the Twins fail to move on the Tigers, whose loss earlier in the day opened the door for the Twins to gain ground.

Carl Pavano didn't pitch horribly, but he did go out there and get his team in a hole right away, giving up two quick runs in the first inning. When your offense decides to take the day off, and collect only four hits and zero hits with guys in scoring position, two runs is far too many runs to give up. It's yet another example of the Twins failing to click on one facet of the game. Desparate for some kind of consistency in their starting rotation, it's that much more frustrating when their pitching can keep them in ballgames but then see the team lose because their offense phoned in the effort. Sure, they're only 4 and 1/2 games out, but the team that "we've all been waiting for" still hasn't come out to play this season, and that team that came out of spring training is a lot different than the players that are taking the field right now for the Twins. Pavano might as well be their ace for the starts that he's put forth, Brian Douchebag has a role that's much too big for a team that fashions itself as a contender, and as of Sunday Jeff Manship is going to be starting the Wednesday afternoon tilt against the White Sox, thereby becoming the second pitcher to be making his major-league debut during the "pennant chase." The one thing it certainly doesn't breed is a whole lot of confidence.

AUGUST 28, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 3, TEXAS 2

The three runs that the Twins score off Ranger starter Tommy Hunter is just barely enough to beat Texas, as Brian Douchebag puts forth his first solid start as a major leaguer. To give Douchebag props, he went out there and shut down a potent Rangers offense, limiting them to three hits over seven innings. Of course, shutting down potent offenses over seven innings and 96 pitches is just too much to ask, so Matty Guerrier was on the hill for the eighth inning, and if not for Joe Mauer throwing out potential base stealer Elvis Andrus, Guerrier would have surrendered a run, and David Murphy's blast off Joe Nathan in the ninth came about five feet from clearing the baggie. By the hair on their chinny-chin-chin, the Twins squeek one out at home, but again fail to move on the Tigers, as they handily defeat the Rays at home. The Twins do move into second place due to the White Sox losing to the Yankees, but as long as the Tigers continue to win, they're going to be hard to catch coming down the stretch.

The Twins did some roster maneuvering on Friday, acquiring both Jon Rauch from Arizona and Ron Mahay from Kansas City to "bolster" their bullpen. The Rauch acquisition I actually like, as the Twins will likely retain Rauch for next season at a modest price (around $3 million). The tallest player to ever play in the big leagues, the 6-11 Rauch could also potentially be a boon for the Timberwolves, as their GM has been so anti-Bill Smith this offseason (i.e., making moves) that I couldn't name you two players on that team right now. Mahay, on the other hand, is the classic Twins move. He's had a terrible season with the Royals this season; a 4.79 ERA for a left-handed one out guy ("LOOGY," as they're referred to in some circles) isn't that impressive, and he's given up a whopping 55 hits in 41 innings, including nine home runs. It's funny that Craig Breslow, who the Twins shipped out in May, has benefited from the change of scenery in Oakland and has had a pretty good run with the A's; Mahay's acquisition is such that he basically becomes a lesser Breslow, and in no way does his presence in that bullpen do anything to improve the ballclub. Sure, he may alleviate the pressure and stress on Jose Mijares' arm, but if the guy can't get batters out, it doesn't really matter. Yet, the Twins acquisition that I disliked the most was the one that flew completely under the radar, and that was the Twins sending Yohan Pino, their best starter in Rochester, to the Indians to complete the Carl Pavano deal. Remember that I had said that Pino was more deserving of the call-up than Armando Gabino was, and now the Twins have dispatched Pino for the two months that they'll get from Pavano. You'd like to think that the Twins got Rauch for next to nothing, as a "player to be named later" was sent to the D-Backs; but, knowing Bill Smith, that player to be named later just might as well be Danny Valencia or Anthony Slama.

Joe Crede finally went on the disabled list (for the first time this season, amazingly) and Jose Morales was dutifully called up from Triple-A. Crede's injury likely means more playing time for Nick Punto, and we all know how great that is. And with the rosters expanding in September, the suddenly new-look Twins are about to get a new batch of fresh faces to join them for the "pennant chase." Remember what Ron Gardenhire did last season when he put those minor-leaguers in key spots down the stretch -- he damn well lost the season because he put Jason Pridie (in his major league debut) in for defense in Toronto and Pridie ended up committing a costly error which cost the team the game (and, by extension, the season). So what green rookie is Ron Gardenhire planning on ruining the season with this September?

Photos: (1) AP/Andy King; (2) AP/Ben Margot

AUGUST 22, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 8, KANSAS CITY 7

Two wins in a row against the pitiful Royals, and with the Tigers losing at Oakland, the Twins are "back in the thick of things," as certifiable idiot Dick Bremer would say. They're still three games below .500, mind you, and the Royals haven't been playing like a major league team in the last three months. Saturday's game was an example of a game that if the Twins needed to pitch one more inning, the Royals were likely going to finally overtake them. Brian Douchebag pitched the game of his life, which at this point in his career is just five innings and two earned runs. Because of the short start, the Twins had to rely on their bullpen, and what's worse was that Joe Nathan's 53-pitch outing on Friday apparently made him unavailable on Saturday, making Matt Guerrier the de facto closer [Gulp]. Ron Coomer, filling in for Bert Blyleven on color this weekend, was quoted as saying that this series is something like make or break, the most important series of the year and they desperately can't lose games like this. If that's the case (and it is, unless you want to fall further back in the division), you need to have Joe Nathan on the mound in the bottom of the ninth inning. Frankly I don't care if Nathan had to throw 120 pitches on Friday, if these games mean that much, you've got to have your best players in the spots that they are asked to deliver in. What's the worst that could happen, Gardenhire? You're banking on one good inning from Joe Nathan -- 15-20 pitches at most. Who in their right mind wouldn't be able to throw that many pitches, no matter how many they threw the night previous. Considering Nathan's classic "brush-off" of the push-over Gardenhire the night before, I thought that perhaps Nathan could easily talk his way back into the game. But alas, Matty Guerrier got the save, nearly giving up the tie in the eighth and giving back the insurance run the Twins cheaply got in the top of the ninth to win by the narrowest of margins.

After Douchebag left after the fifth, the Twins had to seriously patch it up until Stopper Guerrier came in in the eighth. Bobby Keppel and Jesse Crain helped get the Royals back in the game in the sixth and seventh innings, each surrendering two runs in their less-than-one-inning performance. Both of these slugs have proven that they simply cannot get major league batters out, but I have a sneak feeling that the front office will bring both of these guys back for 2010. Hell, considering the pay hike that Billy Smith gave Nick Punto last offseason, Keppel's 5.55 ERA may be due for a raise. That the Twins were even able to win this game was a testament to how truly bad the Royals are. The three runs that the Twins got in the top of the sixth were mainly due to Joe Mauer reaching first on a wild pitch on strike three, and Michael Cuddyer's pop-up in a clutch situation in the ninth (Cuddyer popping up in the clutch? No, really???!!!) needed to be caught, and that turned out to be the difference in the game. But the seventh inning was a classic, as the Royals loaded the bases with nobody out against Jesse Crain. Jose Mijares inherited that mess and promptly gave up a single to cut the lead to 7-5. After a key Cuddyeresque pop-up by Mitch Maier for the first out, the madness ensued. Yuniesky Betancourt hit a can of corn to center field, and Carlos Gomez dropped the ball, and instead of getting the easy force play right in front of him at second, threw to third to get the out there instead. To cap it off, Josh Anderson lined a ball to left, and Seldom Young, instead of retreating back on the ball, did a standing leap and barely caught the ball. It was literally one of the funniest things I'd ever seen; I laughed for a solid minute after seeing that patheticness.

The Twins go for the sweep on Sunday, with Carl Pavano making the start for the Twins. Anthony Swarzak, by the way, was finally outrighted back to Triple-A, and some guy named Armando Gabino was called up. Not sure whether this Gabino is going to get a shot at the starting staff, but whatever his role is, there are two things that are important with this transaction: 1) Swarzak's back in the minors, where he belongs, and 2) even the thought of a guy like Gabino making critical starts down the stretch for a "contending" team should tell everyone that the team has zero chance of getting to the playoffs. But hey, anybody's a step up from Swarzak, who in his last four or five starts was serving more meatballs than Olive Garden.

Photos: AP/Charlie Riedel

AUGUST 17, 2009 -- TEXAS 8, MINNESOTA 5

Yet another bad start for Francisco Liriano, and after the game Ron Gardenhire announced that the young southpaw would be placed on the disabled list for a "tired arm," or technically speaking, "suck-itis," which is a disease that has plagued the pitching staff all season long. It doesn't seem like there's any real reason for Liriano to be put on the DL; if anything it may be better for his morale than if the team rightfully sent him back down to Triple-A. My guess is that the Twins are just going to shut Liriano down for the rest of the season and figure out a gameplan for how to use Liriano in 2010 -- either in the starting staff or in the bullpen. In any case, Phil Humber returns from Triple-A, in yet another example of the Twins calling up less deserving guys from Triple-A. Slama and Delaney continue to toil in the minors, and even Juan Morillo, who looked awful in a cup of coffee early in the season, has apparently righted the ship in Rochester and throws absolute gas. But Humber it is; apparently they tried to call up Kevin Mulvey but his phone went straight to voicemail and it's pointless to leave a message at that point because you know they aren't going to get the message for at least a day.


Liriano's line was a gaudy one on Monday: two innings pitched, seven hits, seven runs, two walks, a hit batter, and one strikeout. And this was after he was given a brief lead by Joe Mauer's 23rd homer of the year in the first inning. Mauer, by the way, was the only hitter it seemed that wasn't catatonic, as he collected almost half the Twins' hits (3 of their seven) and pushed his average to .380. For the third straight game, Ron Gardenhire was forced to exhaust his bullpen early, and this time Bobby Keppel came in and did a pretty good job in relief, throwing 3 1/3 shutout innings to provide a little bit of relief and allowing the Twins to get back in the game. Then Gardy had to use Jose Mijares and Matty Guerrier earlier than usual, in the fifth, sixth, and seventh innings; aside from the expected Matt Guerrier insurance run that he surrendered, those innings went fine. Then Ron Gardenhire did a very strange thing: he put in Brian Douchebag, who he had announced would (graciously) start for Anthony Swarzak on Thursday, on the mound for the eighth inning. What??? After the game, of course, Ron Gardenhire told the press that Swarzak would make the start after all because he felt forced (apparently) to use Douchebag in the eighth inning when guys like Jeff Manship, a converted starter who's thrown exactly 2 1/3 innings since being called up last week, were more than available to pitch. This was the second straight game where Ron Gardenhire made some curious moves with his pitching staff (sending in Jesse Crain in the third inning on Sunday, when the team is glutted with long relievers) and it's further proof that this man is purely bat-shit insane.


One piece of good news that did occur for the Twins on Monday was their signing of first-round pick Kyle Gibson. In classic Twins fashion, the deal went right down to the deadline, as the two sides agreed to terms about ten minutes before the midnight deadline. Gibson's a college pitcher, and this is an organization that's suddenly pitching thin, so Gibson's signing, though his impact at the major league level is a few years away at the least, is good news for the club. Hell, the Twins need to fill Liriano's spot in the rotation on Saturday -- I wonder what Gibson's up to that day? It can't be any worse than the prospect of seeing Douchebag or Phil Humber out there. And it keeps getting funnier (but sad at the same time) to hear Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven still believe that the Twins can make a run. Take a look at their starting rotation -- how on earth can teams even ponder the idea of postseason baseball when Thursday's starter comes into the eighth inning on Monday and Saturday's starter is potentially flying in from Triple-A? The acquisitions of Orlando Cabrera and Carl Pavano (Tuesday's starter) continue to be dwarfed by their divisional rivals -- the White Sox will try to plug their fifth-starter spot in the rotation by Freddy Garcia, and more importantly the Tigers addressed their biggest weakness (the lineup) by getting Aubrey Huff from Baltimore for virtually nothing (a Single-A reliever). Huff's 73 ribbies will fit in nicely in that order and make Detroit that much better come playoff time. But, hey, keep us informed on that "three-team" divisional race in the Central, Dick.

Photos: (1,2) AP/Tony Gutierrez; (3) University of Missouri Media Relations

AUGUST 11, 2009 -- KANSAS CITY 14, MINNESOTA 6

Another embarrassing loss for the Twins, this time twice as embarrassing considering that it was to the hands of the lowly Kansas City Royals at home under the Teflon sky of the Metrodome. Making matters worse, the Twins weren't in this game right from the start. Before Nick Blackburn could blink, the Royals had already put four runs on the board in the first (three of which came home after there were two outs), and a Brendan Harris error in the second inning led to two more runs and Blackburn's departure. Although Blackburn didn't deserve to pitch any longer than he had, his short start meant that the bullpen would have to pitch the final 7 and 1/3 innings of the game, and that just spells runs. Sure enough, Brian Douchebag (who apparently won't be starting in the series), Bobby Keppel, and Jesse Crain all gave up runs in their relief outings, and only Jose Mijares, who pitched a clean eighth, was able to hold off the suddenly barnstorming Royals. This is a team that came into the game with one of the lowest team batting averages in the American League (batting .255 as a team), and they put up 18 hits in the game, making that the sixth game out of their last ten that the Twins pitching has given up at least fifteen hits in a game. Not surprisingly, the Twins have lost all six of those games, and the way things are going (and how the rest of this series is set up), it's going to be a challenge to even win one of these games against the last-place Royals.


Games like this must make those foolish fans who are still believing that the team is going to make the playoffs second-guess themselves. Blackburn had been the team's solid #1 starter throughout the first half of the season, but ever since Ron Gardenhire had the ingenious idea to rest Blackburn for ten days between starts (straddling the All-Star Break), he's pitched really, really poorly -- kind of like Joe Mays bad, or Sean Bergman bad, late-90s Twins bad. I read somewhere that it's possible that Carl Pavano, with one start down in his Twins career, is pert' darn near the ace of this staff, and I'd have to say that's about right. When you have zero starting pitching and even worse bullpen help, it's going to be increasingly difficult to notch wins, and right now the Twins are four games under .500. They're at the nadir of their season, and though they're five games out of first place, it's quite deceiving. Look at what the White Sox did the other day, by picking up Alex Rios from the Blue Jays. Though Rios hasn't proven that his monstrous contract he signed last season has been a good investment, he's a solid upgrade from what the White Sox had in their outfield, and he's still a young player. Rios and Jake Peavy are now going to be South Siders for quite a while, and even if the Sox don't win the division this season, they're going to be bonafide contenders for a good number of years. What have the Twins done to solidify their future, especially considering their move to Target Field next season? Nothing, at least, to signal to Joe Mauer that the Twins are committed to putting a winning club on the field, and if I'm Mauer, I sure as hell don't take one penny as a "hometown discount" to sign with the Twins. Mauer's a born winner, and he's not going to give a team which is so content with mediocrity the benefit of the doubt just because he was born a few minutes away from the stadium.


The Mark Grudzielanek experiment officially ended on Monday, when the Twins released the veteran infielder eight games into his comeback attempt with Double-A New Britain. The Twins felt that Grudzielanek's range wasn't what it once was, and his bat hadn't bowled over the Twins, either. That the Twins felt eight games was enough to prove to them that Grudzielanek wasn't the answer, and that they've given Alexi Casilla nearly 100 games at the major league level to prove to everyone else (other than the Twins' on-field management) that he isn't a major-league player is frankly a slap in the face to this Twins fan. Eight games is enough to gauge a veteran player who hadn't played competitively for a year due to injury? He was hitting .267 with the Rock Cats, which is roughly 100 points higher than what Casilla's hitting at the major league level, and don't talk about "range" when guys like Casilla and Punto are getting the bulk of the playing time at second base for the big-league team. They're average defensively -- sure, they'll put forth a Web Gem once in a while, but then also make plenty of miscues too -- and their defensive talents are further underemphasized when they give back all their defensive assets by consistently going 0 for 4 at the plate. With the Grudzielanek cutting, the Twins have officially said that they are just fine with their second basemen hitting .186 with average defense. Grudzielanek had a classic quote (actually a text message) printed in the Star Tribune that may go down as the quote of the year around here at the MTRC: "They [the Twins] just wasted my time." Thanks, Mark. That makes two of us.

AUGUST 9, 2009 -- DETROIT 8, MINNESOTA 7

The Twins make a valiant comeback after they let the Tigers take control of the game in which they had an early 3-0 lead, but it's all for naught once Matt Guerrier serves it up in the eighth, providing Twins fans of a glimpse of the 2008 Matty Guerrier that we know and love. The classic Matt Guerrier Special came back to haunt the Twins in the eighth, where Guerrier not only gave up the lead to the Tigers, but like all classic MGSes, he gave up the critical insurance run as well that ended up to be the deciding run in the game. In all the Twins pitching staff gave up fifteen hits, which is simply incredible -- it was the fifth time in nine games that the staff had surrendered that many hits in a game. Not surprisingly, the Twins have lost all five of those games. Tom Kelly used to say that the three most important facets of the game of baseball were pitching, pitching, and pitching, and never is that more true than with the 2009 Twins. They're hitting the cover off the ball right now, smacking three long home runs in Sunday's game and collecting fourteen hits of their own. If only they could get some consistent pitching, they'd be running away with the division and be in a position to actually compete with the elite of the American League. But alas, Sunday's loss drops them 5 1/2 games behind the front-running Tigers, and more importantly the Twins remain three games below the .500 mark.


Mike Redmond surprisingly got three hits for the Twins today. Perhaps Jarrod Washburn wasn't as "tough" an assignment for a backup player, which is a reference to Redmond's curious statements following Thursday's loss to Cleveland, where Redmond basically hinted that he shouldn't have been in the lineup facing Fausto Carmona. It's so bad that even the talent-free Redmond knows he's got nothing left in the tank, but he doinked three hits on Sunday and helped produce some runs. But his actual value for the Twins has continuously diminished, and that was emphasized on Sunday, when Ron Gardenhire was forced to remove Redmond from the game in the eighth inning for a pinch runner. Of course, when Gardenhire does that, that means that Joe Mauer must move from the DH spot to the catcher's position, which means that the pitcher must now assume the vacant DH spot in the batting order. By needing to pinch-hit for the .176-hitting Alexi Casilla in the same inning, Gardenhire effectively exhausted his bench in that one inning, and it nearly made for an embarrassing situation in the ninth inning. The pitcher's spot was sixth in the batting order for the Twins in the ninth, and that meant that if they were to mount a rally against Fernando Rodney, the Twins would have had no recourse but to send a pitcher to the plate with the game on the line (and no, I'm not using that as a euphemism for Nick Punto -- an actual pitcher (which, by the way, probably would be a better opportunity to score than if Punto had been at the plate)). It goes to show how having guys like Redmond and Casilla (who you're going to replace late in close ballgames anyway because they suck in more than one way) on the team absolutely cripples your roster. Again, there's a guy down in Triple-A who has a major-league batting average this season residing in Joe Mauer-land who's young, energetic, and isn't any more of a defensive liability than the elder statesman Redmond is. Why the Twins refuse to make the obvious talent upgrade is beyond me and I'm sure it continues to confuse Twins fans elsewhere. I would have loved to see Joe Nathan taking hacks at Fernando Rodney with the tying run on base with two out in the ninth inning -- actually I would have more enjoyed the look that Ron Gardenhire would have had on his face at that point. But, the patheticness of Seldom Young made that an impossibility when he took a brutal quasi-swing at Rodney's first pitch and tapped weakly to third base to end the ballgame.


The Twins have an offday Monday and then travel home to open a six-game homestand against the AL Central's two bottom feeders, the Kansas City Royals and the Cleveland Indians. Once again the Twins will luck out and not have to face Zach Greinke in that Royals series, but the real story will be that the Twins will have to have good starting pitching down the stretch if they want a sniff at the divisional title. It doesn't matter who you're playing -- the Yankees or the Royals -- if you can't pitch, like the Twins haven't lately, you simply won't win ballgames. The Twins aren't even sure who's going to make the Thursday afternoon game at this point, and Francisco Liriano is tentatively penciled in to make Tuesday's start. My bet is that Brian Douchebag makes one of those starts, and something tells me that Ron Gardenhire will go ahead and let Liriano make another start. It sure as hell doesn't inspire a whole lot of confidence when you are unclear who's going to be pitching the majority of the innings in an upcoming series. Especially when you consider yourself a playoff "contender."

AUGUST 8, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 11, DETROIT 0

Man, this team is hard to figure out. They have to be the most inconsistent team I've ever had the opportunity to watch. One day, they'll look like absolute garbage, failing at all aspects of the game -- hitting, pitching, defense, and managing. Then the next day, they'll come out, knock around one of the best pitchers in the league, and ride their pitcher to an easy win. I don't know from day to day what team is going to show up, and whenever the Twins do win games like the one on Saturday, I can't believe that the team is "turning the corner," because every other time they've won convincingly, they've come out the next day and phoned it in (like they did earlier in the road trip). If ever there is a season-saving victory in early August, Saturday's 11-0 romp was just that. With a loss, the Twins were in danger of dropping 6 and 1/2 games out; by winning, they are 4 and a half back and have a chance to get within another game of first place with a win today. But am I convinced that they will bring a lot of momentum into Sunday's game? Absolutely not.


I will give credit where credit is due, and Carl Pavano pitched like it was 2004 on Saturday. His pitching performance was a breath of fresh air for Twins fans, who have become all too accustomed to the Twins giving up eight runs a game, especially since the All-Star break. He had a veteran's presence on the mound, again refreshing when the Twins trot out an unexperienced, deer-in-the-headlights starter seemingly every other day. Not that the "veteran presence" is going to be a good thing necessarily (Livan Hernandez, anybody?), but if Pavano can pitch even a little bit like he did on Saturday, his acquisition will at least be justified (again, it's not as if he's going to be the tipping point for the Twins' winning the division). But the knock on Pavano has been all season long is that when he's on, he's on; but when he's off, he's absolutely dreadful, and the Tigers were the one team that Pavano has really owned this year, as he notched his fourth win of the year with no losses against Detroit on Saturday. The reason, however, that Pavano can't be the savior for the staff is that not one but two spots in the rotation are still up for grabs, even after the Pavano acquisition. Anthony Swarzak's run of good pitching appears to have elapsed, and not only does he not deserve to be in the starting staff, but it's probably overdue that he should return to Triple-A. Glen Perkins and Francisco Liriano also have not deserved to stay in the staff; so in effect the Twins have three for-sure starters on their staff: Scott Baker, who'll pitch today, Nick Blackburn, and Pavano. Brian Douchebag has been pitching effectively out of the long man bullpen role (what major league team, other than the Twins, has three long men in the bullpen? Well, I guess -- considering that you can count on a starter turning in a clunker twice every five games, so you need those long men). By process of elimination more than anything else, Douchebag should be penciled into the rotation. I've said it before that Liriano can really help the bullpen, and I think his value is greater in the bullpen. So who's the fifth starter? Glen Perkins can't get anybody out, whether he's in relief or starting, so he can't assume that role, and the scouting report on Anthony Swarzak appears to have gotten around to the entire league now, so he can't be trusted. You look at the other two Central competitors and their top 3 pitchers: Detroit's Verlander, Jackson, and Washburn, and Chicago's Buehrle, Peavy (when he's healthy) and Danks/Floyd, you've got to give both of those teams the edge over the Twins' Baker, Blackburn and Pavano. That's not saying anything about the glaring holes at the back end of the rotation for the Twins.


The bullpen continues to be a sore spot for the Twins, and again the Twins passed up the opportunity to add a bullpen arm on Saturday. Twice in the past week the Tampa Bay Rays have made waiver claims on two arms that had been designated for assignment by their prior clubs. Jeff Bennett was picked up from Atlanta, where he had put up a 3.18 ERA (albeit with a high opponent's batting average), and on Saturday the Rays picked up Russ Springer from Oakland. Springer's 40 years old, sure, but he's still effective (a lot more effective than Jesse Crain, for instance). He had been pitching stellar of late, posting a sub-2.00 ERA over his last 25 games, and he has 47 strikeouts in 41 innings pitched. The Rays have a better record than the Twins, meaning that had the Twins claimed either pitcher, they would have gotten them because their record is worse than Tampa Bay. Why they didn't pursue either of those relievers is astounding considering the fact that Joe Nathan continues to be the only guy in the 'pen that can consistently and confidently get batters out. But hey -- Luis Ayala was sent down by the Marlins the other day after posting an 8.50 ERA for them. He might be available (for the right price, that is -- "we don't want to mortgage our future just to make a move").