AUGUST 24, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 2, BALTIMORE 1

The Twins are able to scratch across two runs against the worst pitching staff in the American League, and they were lucky enough to do that. During Orlando Cabrera's at-bat in the sixth inning, a two-strike curveball by Baltimore starter Chris Tillman appeared to break straight across the middle of the plate belt-high. Even Bert Blyleven and Dick Bremer appeared to think that home plate umpire Paul Emmel made the incorrect call by judging the pitch a ball. With second life at the plate, Cabrera lined a single to center field, moving Denard Span to third base with nobody out, and Span would eventually score the game-winning run on a Jason Kubel sacrifice fly. But strangely absent from any post-game commentary was a rant by Baltimore manager Dave Trembley, who really should be bitching about umpires missing calls that turn out to be the difference of the game. I mean, what kind of manager wouldn't just take the easy way out and blame officiating when bigger, more crucial problems are actually in the manager's control to change? It was just very odd, this display of professionality and class by Mr. Trembley -- something that just would never happen if it were the other way around. It's always refreshing to know that whenever the Twins play another team, there's one professional manager in the stadium that doesn't cry over sour milk or whine and moan when things don't go his way. It's funny that, when the shoe is on the other foot, Ron Gardenhire's suddenly a quiet fan of Mr. Emmel's strike zone and poor calls.

So the Twins have run off four straight wins against last-place ballclubs; if we're talking about a good team, that wouldn't be noteworthy, but when we're discussing the 2009 Twinkies it should be duly noted. The problem is that you're only as good as the next game's starter, and in this case it's wild-eyed rookie Armando Gabino, who'll be making his major league debut against the Orioles. Since every game is extremely important from here on out, it's pretty hard to accept this line of reasoning from the front office and Ron Gardenhire, that Armando Gabino represents the best chance of netting the team a victory on Tuesday. It's usually the case, however, that rookie pitchers tend to have a successful first couple starts (see Swarzak, Anthony), due mostly to the fact that a solid advance scouting report has yet to be circulated throughout the league. The Orioles can hit, that's for sure, but I would be surprised if Gabino totally implodes. It's hard to expect wins out of guys pitching in the big leagues for the first time ever, and Gabino's no different. Hell, this guy was mainly a reliever for Rochester; he's started only five games for the Red Wings this year and only 13 in his entire professional career, dating back to 2004. It would appear that, out of the Red Wings' current staff, Yohan Pino would be more deserving of a major-league promotion, as he's pitched very well in eight starts in Triple-A since being promoted from New Britain. But whatever the case, the fact remains that games in late August that are the most critical to your ballclub just plain cannot be started by guys like Armando Gabino. Here's to eight innings of shutout ball, kid.

Photos: (1) AP/Tom Olmscheid; (2) www.rockcats.com

AUGUST 22, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 8, KANSAS CITY 7

Two wins in a row against the pitiful Royals, and with the Tigers losing at Oakland, the Twins are "back in the thick of things," as certifiable idiot Dick Bremer would say. They're still three games below .500, mind you, and the Royals haven't been playing like a major league team in the last three months. Saturday's game was an example of a game that if the Twins needed to pitch one more inning, the Royals were likely going to finally overtake them. Brian Douchebag pitched the game of his life, which at this point in his career is just five innings and two earned runs. Because of the short start, the Twins had to rely on their bullpen, and what's worse was that Joe Nathan's 53-pitch outing on Friday apparently made him unavailable on Saturday, making Matt Guerrier the de facto closer [Gulp]. Ron Coomer, filling in for Bert Blyleven on color this weekend, was quoted as saying that this series is something like make or break, the most important series of the year and they desperately can't lose games like this. If that's the case (and it is, unless you want to fall further back in the division), you need to have Joe Nathan on the mound in the bottom of the ninth inning. Frankly I don't care if Nathan had to throw 120 pitches on Friday, if these games mean that much, you've got to have your best players in the spots that they are asked to deliver in. What's the worst that could happen, Gardenhire? You're banking on one good inning from Joe Nathan -- 15-20 pitches at most. Who in their right mind wouldn't be able to throw that many pitches, no matter how many they threw the night previous. Considering Nathan's classic "brush-off" of the push-over Gardenhire the night before, I thought that perhaps Nathan could easily talk his way back into the game. But alas, Matty Guerrier got the save, nearly giving up the tie in the eighth and giving back the insurance run the Twins cheaply got in the top of the ninth to win by the narrowest of margins.

After Douchebag left after the fifth, the Twins had to seriously patch it up until Stopper Guerrier came in in the eighth. Bobby Keppel and Jesse Crain helped get the Royals back in the game in the sixth and seventh innings, each surrendering two runs in their less-than-one-inning performance. Both of these slugs have proven that they simply cannot get major league batters out, but I have a sneak feeling that the front office will bring both of these guys back for 2010. Hell, considering the pay hike that Billy Smith gave Nick Punto last offseason, Keppel's 5.55 ERA may be due for a raise. That the Twins were even able to win this game was a testament to how truly bad the Royals are. The three runs that the Twins got in the top of the sixth were mainly due to Joe Mauer reaching first on a wild pitch on strike three, and Michael Cuddyer's pop-up in a clutch situation in the ninth (Cuddyer popping up in the clutch? No, really???!!!) needed to be caught, and that turned out to be the difference in the game. But the seventh inning was a classic, as the Royals loaded the bases with nobody out against Jesse Crain. Jose Mijares inherited that mess and promptly gave up a single to cut the lead to 7-5. After a key Cuddyeresque pop-up by Mitch Maier for the first out, the madness ensued. Yuniesky Betancourt hit a can of corn to center field, and Carlos Gomez dropped the ball, and instead of getting the easy force play right in front of him at second, threw to third to get the out there instead. To cap it off, Josh Anderson lined a ball to left, and Seldom Young, instead of retreating back on the ball, did a standing leap and barely caught the ball. It was literally one of the funniest things I'd ever seen; I laughed for a solid minute after seeing that patheticness.

The Twins go for the sweep on Sunday, with Carl Pavano making the start for the Twins. Anthony Swarzak, by the way, was finally outrighted back to Triple-A, and some guy named Armando Gabino was called up. Not sure whether this Gabino is going to get a shot at the starting staff, but whatever his role is, there are two things that are important with this transaction: 1) Swarzak's back in the minors, where he belongs, and 2) even the thought of a guy like Gabino making critical starts down the stretch for a "contending" team should tell everyone that the team has zero chance of getting to the playoffs. But hey, anybody's a step up from Swarzak, who in his last four or five starts was serving more meatballs than Olive Garden.

Photos: AP/Charlie Riedel

AUGUST 20, 2009 -- TEXAS 11, MINNESOTA 1

Two comeback wins by the Twins were enough for them to salvage a split in the series, so Ron Gardenhire's bunch felt that it would be acceptable to phone in their effort for Thursday's game, and the results clearly showed a pitiful effort. The Rangers hit four home runs off Twins starter Anthony Swarzak, who again showed everyone watching that his scouting report has been duly circulated throughout the league and that teams know what to expect when he pitches. Especially considering his stuff isn't dazzling to begin with, that's a recipe for absolute disaster, and Swarzak followed the pattern set by, well, all the other starters when he put the Twins down 4-0 early. Seldom Young continued his hot streak (who knew?) when he led off the fifth with a home run, and the Twins mounted a threat in the sixth, loading the bases with one out. Ranger fans were probably groaning as they were expecting the same course of events to occur in Thursday's game that also happened the previous two nights: that the Twins, namely, would score four in the sixth to get back in the game, as they had on both Tuesday and Wednesday. Well, after Ron Washington put rookie Neftali Feliz into the game, Joe Crede silenced all that crap by tapping into an inning ending 5-3 double play, thereby extinguishing both the rally and the chance to win.

Swarzak started the bottom of the sixth by giving up his fourth homer of the game, and the inning wouldn't end until Jeff Manship could stop the bleeding. In between the Swarzak-Manship sandwich was another classic outing by Bobby Keppel, who's becoming kind of like the evil cream in the middle of a disastrous Oreo cookie of failure. More traditionally that cookie, which apparently stands for those big innings ("crooked numbers," as certifiable idiot Dick Bremer would say) that the bullpen is wont to give up, involves such notables as Jesse Crain and R.A. Dickey; Keppel's usually been part of that mix, too, and Thursday was no exception, as he faced three batters and all three Rangers hit doubles off Keppel. Talk about thrifty patheticness -- Bobby Keppel has mastered that art.

With the dramatic comeback win for the Tigers on Thursday afternoon, the Twins dropped back to 6 1/2 games behind the front-running Tigers (and 4 1/2 behind the second-place Pale Hose), which means that even with the two impressive comeback wins in Texas, the Twins ended up losing a half-game in the standings. Justin Morneau, meanwhile, will see a specialist concerning his inner ear infection that kept him out of the lineup for pretty much all of the Texas series. An injury to Morneau would be fatal for the team, and a trip to the disabled list just might put the final nail in the coffin to this season. But first they have to travel to Kansas City to put forth what likely will be a pathetic effort. Luke Hochevar, who looked nothing better than Bret Saberhagen the last time he faced the Twins, will be on the hill for the Royals, and Nick Blackburn, he of the 0-4, 10.17 ERA since Ron Gardenhire rested him for ten days between the All Star Break, will oppose him for the Twins.

Photos: AP/Tony Gutierrez.

AUGUST 19, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 5, TEXAS 4

Yet another shocker on Wednesday, as the Twins come back from a 4-0 hole this time around, scoring the final five runs to beat the wild-card competing Rangers by a run. The resiliency shown by the Twins has been honorable, and it's nice to see that the Twins haven't completely thrown in the towel at this point of what has been a lost season. It's pretty hard to carry over momentum from one season to the next, but at the very least the Twins can find out who belongs on their roster and who they can easily dispatch. That would at least be the logical thing to do, but when you're confident playing Nick Punto on an everyday basis, that sort of undermines your talent-appraisal skills. And it's sorry to say that these wins might not be the best thing for the team right now. They are in limbo as an organization currently. They're five and a half games behind first place, but they're also four games below .500. It's hard to gauge whether the team can actually pull off a run and compete for the division or whether they aren't suited for a race in the first place. If it were up to me, I would start the 2010 rebuilding process right now. Let's face it; even if the team were to make the playoffs, there's absolutely no way they can beat anyone in the playoffs, and a division title would likely mean they may win 83-85 wins, which in any other division in baseball would have put them in third place at best. But it's tough for Bill Smith to wave the white flag at this point, however, with the Brett Favre circus in full gear, now might be the best time to do that. Get rid of stopgaps like Crede and Cabrera and get the young kids up here to get their feet wet, the Danny Valencias and Anthony Slamas of the world.


Another encouraging sign in Wednesday's win was that the Twins offense came back largely without the help from Joe Mauer, who went hitless in three at-bats, drawing two walks. The sixth inning in which the Twins scored four runs to take the lead was that much more astounding when you consider that the last three runs scored with two outs and runners in scoring position, just the sort of situational hitting that the Twins have really struggled with this season. Nick Punto may have gotten the biggest hit of the bunch, as he drove home the second run of the inning with his single, and that perhaps sparked Denard Span and Orlando Cabrera to follow up Punto's knock with two hits of their own. It was yet another discouraging loss for Ranger fans, who have been pleasantly surprised with their pitching staff this season, only to see that Achilles heel of years past come back to haunt them the past two nights. And again, the Twins have lucked out two nights in a row here after getting poor starts by their starters. Scott Baker was able to pitch into the sixth inning, but did put the Twins in a 4-0 hole. Though these two comeback wins were refreshing to see from the Twins, the fact remains that that sort of starting pitching will not consistently win you games. And there's no reason to think that Anthony Swarzak can post good numbers on Thursday, which probably means he'll pitch a gem. The team continues to be a head-scratcher.
Photos: AP/Tony Gutierrez.

AUGUST 17, 2009 -- TEXAS 8, MINNESOTA 5

Yet another bad start for Francisco Liriano, and after the game Ron Gardenhire announced that the young southpaw would be placed on the disabled list for a "tired arm," or technically speaking, "suck-itis," which is a disease that has plagued the pitching staff all season long. It doesn't seem like there's any real reason for Liriano to be put on the DL; if anything it may be better for his morale than if the team rightfully sent him back down to Triple-A. My guess is that the Twins are just going to shut Liriano down for the rest of the season and figure out a gameplan for how to use Liriano in 2010 -- either in the starting staff or in the bullpen. In any case, Phil Humber returns from Triple-A, in yet another example of the Twins calling up less deserving guys from Triple-A. Slama and Delaney continue to toil in the minors, and even Juan Morillo, who looked awful in a cup of coffee early in the season, has apparently righted the ship in Rochester and throws absolute gas. But Humber it is; apparently they tried to call up Kevin Mulvey but his phone went straight to voicemail and it's pointless to leave a message at that point because you know they aren't going to get the message for at least a day.


Liriano's line was a gaudy one on Monday: two innings pitched, seven hits, seven runs, two walks, a hit batter, and one strikeout. And this was after he was given a brief lead by Joe Mauer's 23rd homer of the year in the first inning. Mauer, by the way, was the only hitter it seemed that wasn't catatonic, as he collected almost half the Twins' hits (3 of their seven) and pushed his average to .380. For the third straight game, Ron Gardenhire was forced to exhaust his bullpen early, and this time Bobby Keppel came in and did a pretty good job in relief, throwing 3 1/3 shutout innings to provide a little bit of relief and allowing the Twins to get back in the game. Then Gardy had to use Jose Mijares and Matty Guerrier earlier than usual, in the fifth, sixth, and seventh innings; aside from the expected Matt Guerrier insurance run that he surrendered, those innings went fine. Then Ron Gardenhire did a very strange thing: he put in Brian Douchebag, who he had announced would (graciously) start for Anthony Swarzak on Thursday, on the mound for the eighth inning. What??? After the game, of course, Ron Gardenhire told the press that Swarzak would make the start after all because he felt forced (apparently) to use Douchebag in the eighth inning when guys like Jeff Manship, a converted starter who's thrown exactly 2 1/3 innings since being called up last week, were more than available to pitch. This was the second straight game where Ron Gardenhire made some curious moves with his pitching staff (sending in Jesse Crain in the third inning on Sunday, when the team is glutted with long relievers) and it's further proof that this man is purely bat-shit insane.


One piece of good news that did occur for the Twins on Monday was their signing of first-round pick Kyle Gibson. In classic Twins fashion, the deal went right down to the deadline, as the two sides agreed to terms about ten minutes before the midnight deadline. Gibson's a college pitcher, and this is an organization that's suddenly pitching thin, so Gibson's signing, though his impact at the major league level is a few years away at the least, is good news for the club. Hell, the Twins need to fill Liriano's spot in the rotation on Saturday -- I wonder what Gibson's up to that day? It can't be any worse than the prospect of seeing Douchebag or Phil Humber out there. And it keeps getting funnier (but sad at the same time) to hear Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven still believe that the Twins can make a run. Take a look at their starting rotation -- how on earth can teams even ponder the idea of postseason baseball when Thursday's starter comes into the eighth inning on Monday and Saturday's starter is potentially flying in from Triple-A? The acquisitions of Orlando Cabrera and Carl Pavano (Tuesday's starter) continue to be dwarfed by their divisional rivals -- the White Sox will try to plug their fifth-starter spot in the rotation by Freddy Garcia, and more importantly the Tigers addressed their biggest weakness (the lineup) by getting Aubrey Huff from Baltimore for virtually nothing (a Single-A reliever). Huff's 73 ribbies will fit in nicely in that order and make Detroit that much better come playoff time. But, hey, keep us informed on that "three-team" divisional race in the Central, Dick.

Photos: (1,2) AP/Tony Gutierrez; (3) University of Missouri Media Relations

AUGUST 15, 2009 -- CLEVELAND 7, MINNESOTA 3

Yet another example of the Twins horrendous inconsistency this season, as the fall weakly to the Cleveland Indians at the Dome. Michael Cuddyer set the tone for Saturday's patheticness when he popped up with the bases loaded and one out in the bottom of the first inning, the second such failure to get guys home from third base with less than two outs in this series (it's the umpteenth time that Cuddyer hasn't done his freaking job in those situations -- but hey, he's got "good" numbers, so we won't chastise him). Shin-Soo Choo (bless you) homered to lead off the top of the second and the Indians didn't look back, adding four more runs off beleaguered starter Anthony Swarzak and two more off Brian Douchebag to open up a 7-0 lead. A few meaningless RBI singles by Justin Morneau and Joe Crede in the fifth and a Joe Mauer solo home run in the ninth weren't nearly enough to come back on one of the worst teams in the league. David Huff had been so bad -- Twins-terrible, in fact -- against the Twins this season, but of course Ron Gardenhire's bunch picked Huff to be the one to shut them down on Saturday. It didn't help that Ron Gardenhire did one of the most insane managerial decisions of this season (which is saying something, believe me), by sitting Jason Kubel (who had gone 2 for 3 with a home run the last time he faced Huff) in favor of Seldom Young, whom Gardenhire "wanted in the lineup" over one of his best hitters. That makes a whole lotta sense, Gardy, to replace an elite hitter with perhaps the worst outfielder in the game -- I was going to say worst player in the league, but we have to remember that Seldom's not even the worst player on the team -- that race is a dead heat between Sirs Punto and Casilla.


I have to give new Twin Carl Pavano some mad props for his expletive he slinged on air during an in-game interview with Fox broadcaster Dick Stockton. Usually I'm not a fan of those in-game interviews, because especially if the inning drags on, it can get quite awkward to listen to. But in an attempt to skirt a foul ball that entered the dugout, Pavano let an "Oh, S@$%!" fly on-air, and even Bert Blyleven's snickering and Stockton's comments couldn't make that one easily forgettable. That happened to be one of the funnier moments in a game which was laughable from a fan's standpoint. Orlando Cabrera's seventeenth error of the season (on such a routine play, too) was hilariously pathetic, and Cleveland's four-run fifth inning off the two-headed monster of Swarzak and Duensing (sounds like a bad law firm) was nothing short of gut-busting. At this point of a lost season (with Detroit's sound thumping of a clearly inferior team, the Kansas City Royals (whom the Twins couldn't beat twice in three games at home earlier this week), the Twins are six games behind first -- and six games ahead of fourth-place Cleveland) all you can really do is laugh about it. There's no point in getting frustrated -- I think my frustration with the team left after the mid-May Yankee Massacre, and not only has this blog been the ideal outlet to let off steam regarding this pathetic ballclub, but it has been almost therapeutic to document the foibles of Gardy's sad circus of clowns.


The Twins face Aaron Laffey on Sunday, who's been nothing short of Steve Carlton this season against the Twins. Nick Blackburn unfortunately takes the mound for the Twins.

AUGUST 8, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 11, DETROIT 0

Man, this team is hard to figure out. They have to be the most inconsistent team I've ever had the opportunity to watch. One day, they'll look like absolute garbage, failing at all aspects of the game -- hitting, pitching, defense, and managing. Then the next day, they'll come out, knock around one of the best pitchers in the league, and ride their pitcher to an easy win. I don't know from day to day what team is going to show up, and whenever the Twins do win games like the one on Saturday, I can't believe that the team is "turning the corner," because every other time they've won convincingly, they've come out the next day and phoned it in (like they did earlier in the road trip). If ever there is a season-saving victory in early August, Saturday's 11-0 romp was just that. With a loss, the Twins were in danger of dropping 6 and 1/2 games out; by winning, they are 4 and a half back and have a chance to get within another game of first place with a win today. But am I convinced that they will bring a lot of momentum into Sunday's game? Absolutely not.


I will give credit where credit is due, and Carl Pavano pitched like it was 2004 on Saturday. His pitching performance was a breath of fresh air for Twins fans, who have become all too accustomed to the Twins giving up eight runs a game, especially since the All-Star break. He had a veteran's presence on the mound, again refreshing when the Twins trot out an unexperienced, deer-in-the-headlights starter seemingly every other day. Not that the "veteran presence" is going to be a good thing necessarily (Livan Hernandez, anybody?), but if Pavano can pitch even a little bit like he did on Saturday, his acquisition will at least be justified (again, it's not as if he's going to be the tipping point for the Twins' winning the division). But the knock on Pavano has been all season long is that when he's on, he's on; but when he's off, he's absolutely dreadful, and the Tigers were the one team that Pavano has really owned this year, as he notched his fourth win of the year with no losses against Detroit on Saturday. The reason, however, that Pavano can't be the savior for the staff is that not one but two spots in the rotation are still up for grabs, even after the Pavano acquisition. Anthony Swarzak's run of good pitching appears to have elapsed, and not only does he not deserve to be in the starting staff, but it's probably overdue that he should return to Triple-A. Glen Perkins and Francisco Liriano also have not deserved to stay in the staff; so in effect the Twins have three for-sure starters on their staff: Scott Baker, who'll pitch today, Nick Blackburn, and Pavano. Brian Douchebag has been pitching effectively out of the long man bullpen role (what major league team, other than the Twins, has three long men in the bullpen? Well, I guess -- considering that you can count on a starter turning in a clunker twice every five games, so you need those long men). By process of elimination more than anything else, Douchebag should be penciled into the rotation. I've said it before that Liriano can really help the bullpen, and I think his value is greater in the bullpen. So who's the fifth starter? Glen Perkins can't get anybody out, whether he's in relief or starting, so he can't assume that role, and the scouting report on Anthony Swarzak appears to have gotten around to the entire league now, so he can't be trusted. You look at the other two Central competitors and their top 3 pitchers: Detroit's Verlander, Jackson, and Washburn, and Chicago's Buehrle, Peavy (when he's healthy) and Danks/Floyd, you've got to give both of those teams the edge over the Twins' Baker, Blackburn and Pavano. That's not saying anything about the glaring holes at the back end of the rotation for the Twins.


The bullpen continues to be a sore spot for the Twins, and again the Twins passed up the opportunity to add a bullpen arm on Saturday. Twice in the past week the Tampa Bay Rays have made waiver claims on two arms that had been designated for assignment by their prior clubs. Jeff Bennett was picked up from Atlanta, where he had put up a 3.18 ERA (albeit with a high opponent's batting average), and on Saturday the Rays picked up Russ Springer from Oakland. Springer's 40 years old, sure, but he's still effective (a lot more effective than Jesse Crain, for instance). He had been pitching stellar of late, posting a sub-2.00 ERA over his last 25 games, and he has 47 strikeouts in 41 innings pitched. The Rays have a better record than the Twins, meaning that had the Twins claimed either pitcher, they would have gotten them because their record is worse than Tampa Bay. Why they didn't pursue either of those relievers is astounding considering the fact that Joe Nathan continues to be the only guy in the 'pen that can consistently and confidently get batters out. But hey -- Luis Ayala was sent down by the Marlins the other day after posting an 8.50 ERA for them. He might be available (for the right price, that is -- "we don't want to mortgage our future just to make a move").

AUGUST 7, 2009 -- DETROIT 10, MINNESOTA 8

The Twins lose again on Friday, this time because the umpires just totally, like, "ruined" it for Ronny Gardenhire, who launched a verbal attack on the umpiring crew and in particular home plate ump Hunter Wendelstadt following the game. You talk about unprofessional, classless, and plain pathetic -- I can't come up with more adjectives to describe Ron Gardenhire's behavior after the game. Yet again he fails to take responsibility for his team's terrible effort and again he puts the blame on the umpiring crew. Sure, the umpires probably missed a few calls, but I tell you what -- it's a horrible time for the manager to be losing his cool. The hinges are coming off on this ballclub, and fast, and the one thing that the Twins need right now is a steady presence in the clubhouse. If their manager is running on steam and getting thrown out in the second inning of ballgames, that sort of quick temper and irrational, childish reaction are going to transfer to the players. What's worse is that Gardenhire was basically asking for a suspension in his post-game interview, and he intimated that his rapport with Wendelstadt and other umpires in the league is such that they don't respect Gardenhire one iota (join the no-respect-for-Gardy Club, fellas; it's a long line). So good luck getting any "calls" in the future, Ronny Boy.


What should be the story about Friday's game was not the umpiring or Ron Gardenhire going second-grade on everybody's ass. What should have garnered the headlines was that Anthony Swarzak gave up seven runs in one inning of work, contributing his two cents to a starting staff in complete shambles right now. Did the umpires make Swarzak groove a 3-0 fastball to Miguel Cabrera in the first inning that landed in the right field seats? Did the umpires give up two hits, including a home run, and four RBI to Alex Avila, a rookie catcher in his second major league game? Did the umpires give up fifteen hits, the fourth time in seven games that the staff has surrendered that many base hits? Did the umpires cause Justin Morneau to make an error in the fifth inning (which easily could have been given to Orlando Cabrera) which directly led to two runs, which ended up being the difference in the game? Did the umpires force Michael Cuddyer to strike out with a man on third and one out in the sixth inning? Did the umpires force the front-office to sign Nick Punto to an astronomical contract in the offseason to keep that piece of s*** on the team so he could continuously fail in every situation? Did the umpires force Ron Gardenhire to play the said Punto every single game? The short answer, according to Ron Gardenhire, is: Yes. The umpires did it.


Speaking of that starting staff in shambles, there's help on the way (cue superhero music). Carl Pavano, he of the 5.37 ERA, will fit nicely in to a starting staff that's already populated by such notables as Swarzak (5.44 ERA), Francisco Liriano (5.63 ERA), and Glen Perkins (5.95 ERA). Pavano's acquisiton from Cleveland is just another example of a low-risk, low-impact move made by the front office. He's not a guy that's going to bring a divisional title to the Twin Cities, and even by getting Pavano, either Liriano or Perkins is still going to be in the rotation (not to mention Swarzak, who's last two starts have been so bad that Quebec is again reconsidering secession). For the time being, it's Perkins' spot that's the casualty to Pavano's acquisition, as Pavano will take the rubber in Saturday's game against Detroit. The most common spin to Pavano being acquired by the Twins was that he had pitched well against Detroit and Chicago, and that's all good and well, but all that means is that's he's been really, really bad against everybody else, and it's not like all ten or so starts that he'll make with the Twins are going to be against the Tigers and White Sox. The best numbers that Pavano had are these: 36-32-30. No, that isn't a hits-to-walks ratio, but rather the measurements of Pavano's ex-girlfriend Alyssa Milano, who Pavano dated in 2004 (which, not surprisingly, was Pavano's only solid season at the major league level). And here's the rub: Pavano's contract, which when you look at what the Twins are paying for this guy, you can't really understand why they went out and got him. The remainder of Pavano's base salary is only about $500K, which isn't much in terms of baseball money nowadays, but after his next start he'll start banking in his incentives. As Thrylos over at the Tenth Inning Stretch estimates, if Pavano continues to get the ball every fifth day, the Twins would end up paying him $2.7 Million to make ELEVEN starts. In other words, if you're the Cleveland Indians, who have announced in the last few days that they're on pace to lose $16 million this season, getting rid of Carl Pavano was a godsend to their organization. For the Twins, when they finally wrap up their third-place season in October, they're going to be wondering why the hell they spent almost $3 million for two months of such an average pitcher, and Twins fans will have to scratch their heads whenever the front office balks at making other acquisitions because they would be too costly. They'll scratch their heads because this is an organization that paid $2.7 million for eleven Carl Pavano starts and $4 million for 500 Nick Punto at-bats; meanwhile they won't give Casey Blake an extra year on a contract offer and won't go the extra million to sign a guy like Orlando Hudson. Head-scratching indeed.

JULY 26, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 10, LOS ANGELES 1

The Twins exorcise some demons on Sunday, hitting three home runs (two by Justin Morneau) and riding starter Anthony Swarzak to an easy 10-1 win. At this point, the rookie Swarzak is pert' damn near the top starter on this team, and though I mean no disrespect to Anthony, that's not a good thing for the Twins. Nick Blackburn has responded to Ron Gardenhire's extra rest and pitched like a batting practice pitcher since the All-Star break, Francisco Liriano is the same bad pitcher that he was in April, Glen Perkins is probably going to move to the bullpen when Kevin Slowey is ready to come off the disabled list, and Scott Baker has been wildly inconsistent all year long. Twice on the road trip, Swarzak has stepped up and stopped the bleeding; the first in response to the Oakland Disaster, when he pitched seven strong innings and kept the game close enough for the Twins to win in extras, and now on Sunday, when he helped save an overtaxed bullpen by throwing 122 pitches in six plus innings, giving up only four hits and one run to an Angel lineup that had been working on all cylinders. To his credit, Swarzak has shown that he can pitch very much unlike a 23-year old rookie on the mound. He does tend to walk a few more batters than is to be accepted here at the Twins, but other than that, he's been more than adequate as a minor-league call-up; in fact, he's outclassed many of his mates on the pitching staff.


Perhaps the biggest hit in the game on Sunday was a two-out, two-run single by Nick Punto, who snapped a 1 for 18 slump with that single which put the Twins up 4-0. Denard Span would follow a batter later with a two-run single of his own, and the Twins chased Los Angeles starter Ervin Santana in the fourth inning. Punto was twice the beneficiary of poor official scoring on Sunday, but when you're hitting .205 and playing mediocre shortstop, you need all the breaks you can get, or you should hope that some idiot organization would pay you some ridiculous amount of money -- like three, four million dollars a year -- to replicate the same pathetic numbers that you have put up in the past (wait...that last part is actually true; damn you Bill Smith!). In the sixth inning, Punto lifted a medium-deep fly ball (it was almost a line drive -- dare I say Punto sort of hit the ball hard) that Reggie Willits and Gary Matthews Jr. let drop between them (see left), and the play was inexplicably ruled an RBI-double for Punto when in reality that's a ball that needs to be caught every single time. And Punto should have been charged with two errors in the seventh, as he stupidly dropped a routine liner to short stop and made Swarzak have to leave the game instead of completing seven innings; two batters before that, Punto had been charged with an error on a routine throw to first base. It just goes to show you that this is a guy who just can't put one solid all-around game on his resume. He's got to screw up somehow, and when it does happen it's not pretty. I liked Punto's quote after the game, though, when he said that "it's been an inconsistent year for me, to say the least." Inconsistent? No, that's not it; actually, Punto's been a shining example of consistency (consistently pathetic, that is). Inconsistent? Please. I've got another term for it, and it's not exactly PG-rated, buddy.


The Twins now return home to face the Chicago White Sox, fresh off losing three out of four to the Detroit Tigers at Comerica Park. The Twins will be the first team to face Mark Buehrle following his perfect game last week against Tampa Bay, but first they have to deal with John Danks, and unfortunately for the Twins, it appears as if Glen Perkins will pitch tonight. Ron Gardenhire made it seem like Perkins' last start (1 inning pitched, eight earned runs) was because of a bum shoulder, but he's made that excuse a few times this season. Managers shouldn't lie for their players like that -- Perkins has to man up and accept the fact that he sucks, and Ron Gardenhire needs to acknowledge that himself and juggle the rotation to ensure Twins fans that they aren't subject to watching that poor imitation for a pitcher do his "act" in front of tens of thousands of fans.

JULY 21, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 3, OAKLAND 2 (10 innings)

A big win for the Twins, coming back from their worst loss in twenty-five years and beating the lowly Athletics in extra innings, 3-2. The Twins and Michael Cuddyer in particular got a break on Tuesday, as Oakland outfielder Ryan Sweeney inexplicably missed Cuddyer's catchable fly ball that ended up being the game-winning triple for the Twins. Granted, it would have been a nice running catch, but did you think that Cuddyer could actually have a clutch hit that wasn't screwed up in some way by the defense? The guy thrives on cheesy hits and pour-it-on run production, and we all knew that if it were Cuddyer that gets the winning run home, it was going to have to be on a play just like that. But, whatever, the Twins will take it, as they desperately needed to pick themselves off the mat after the Oakland Disaster on Monday night. The star of the game was undoubtedly Anthony Swarzak, who surprisingly pitched like a calm and collected veteran on the mound. He made the correct adjustments against the A's, a team that had beaten Swarzak a month ago, and his strong seven inning performance kept the Twins in the game and gave them a chance to win. Thanks to a misplay by Ryan Sweeney, the Twins took advantage.

Matt Guerrier got the win for the Twins, pitching two innings of near-perfect relief. Now, I will say this -- Guerrier is having a great season, but it's as good a time as any to bring up the fact that Guerrier is still in The Doghouse. Guerrier did this last year too -- pitch well in the first half only to implode (and I mean implode) in the second half. Last season he pitched to a 3.35 ERA ERA in the first half (over 45 games) and held opponents to a .241 batting average -- stellar numbers, especially considering that he had assumed Pat Neshek's eighth-inning role in mid-May and was still learning the role. The second half, however, Guerrier went 1-5, had an 8.88 ERA and opponents teed off against Guerrier to the tune of a .336 batting average. Along with the fact that Ron Gardenhire continued stupidly to bring Guerrier into close ballgames, Guerrier was perhaps the biggest reason that the Twins missed out on the playoffs last season, so it's mainly that resentment that's still lingering to this season. Even though Guerrier's been absolutely fantastic this season -- 2.18 ERA, 5-0 record, 0.86 WHIP, .191 opponent's batting average -- my heart still skips a beat every time that he's brought into the game. If Guerrier can put together a solid season -- an entire season, and not just a good half -- he'll be out of The Doghouse, but until then, he's still under hard watch. And think of it this way -- if Guerrier doesn't give up another run for the rest of the season but the Twins don't make the playoffs, that's still one blown season that's on Guerrier's record. So the resentment will always be there.

In a pre-game interview, Ron Gardenhire suddenly turned into Ozzie Guillen for a little bit, and his comments regarding how managers should be able to throw "red flags" like coaches can in the NFL were a little embarrassing. Gardenhire actually said it best after the game on Monday, that Mike Muchlinski's call should not have mattered because the Twins did not deserve to lose. He manned up and took full responsibility for the loss (well, he didn't blame himself, and that's the real issue here, but close enough). Then Gardenhire has to give this interview, and it makes him come off quite unprofessional, whiny, and still lingering on the bad call from Monday. Added to that was the fact that Gardy's "plan" was just plain asinine. I'm still having trouble making sense of the plan, so here it is from the horses' mouth, printed in the Pioneer Press:

"You'd have to have one (challenge) an inning, just for fun," Gardenhire said. "You throw it out and they go, OK, let's go look at it. Have a guy in a box that has a red scorecard and a green one and if (the call was right) he (holds up) green, you got it right, umpire. If you were wrong, you got red. You don't even have to talk."

So the umpires wouldn't look at the play? Some dude would hold up colored placards and that's it? One challenge per inning? Do we want to play a nine-inning game in five hours? I thought Bert Blyleven said it best during Tuesday's telecast, in response to Dick Bremer (not surprisingly) calling for expanded instant replay, "Why do we even need umpires then? Why not just have machines and robots make the calls?" If you're going to expand replay to calls at home plate, then you're going to have to expand it to include calls at all the bases, and then sooner than later you're going to just have a machine call balls and strikes. It's a game played by humans that involves some amount of human error -- Ron Gardenhire is certainly a prime example of a human making many mistakes -- what should be addressed is the fact that minor-league umpires like Mike Muchlinski are simply not trained well enough for the big-leagues. Why a Triple-A ump was given the task of umpiring home plate is beyond me. Clearly Muchlinski was out of position to call the final play on Monday -- what needs to be addressed is that these umpires, whether full-time or substitute, must be adequately trained for the big-leagues. As far as replays go, yeah -- do anything except whatever Ron Gardenhire was blathering about. That's childishly stupid, Gardy.

JUNE 13, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 2, CHICAGO (NL) 0

Anthony Swarzak puts in his best performance as a major-league pitcher, buckling down against the struggling Cubs and tossing seven shutout innings, and the Twins hold on for a 2-0 victory, their second consecutive victory at Wrigley Field. And what does Swarzak get as a reward for his second major league win? A demotion to the minor leagues. Ron Gardenhire's bench is razor thin, as Dizzy Span and Michael Cuddyer both are unavailable to hit, and he prefers to have another bench player, so Jose Morales was called up from Triple-A to provide the team another option off the bench. With Glen Perkins coming off the DL on Tuesday, the move to option Swarzak was not all that surprising (especially considering Ron Gardenhire's preference of talent-deficient players) but what remains mystifying is the fact that Michael Cuddyer was not put on the disabled list weeks ago when this finger started giving him problems. He hasn't done jack since the finger started swelling two weeks ago, and he's not a very good player to begin with. Sending Cuddyer to the disabled list would have allowed the Twins to handle the Swarzak demotion with a little more grace. As it turns out, the Twins look like primo dickheads after the move.

Jason Kubel's home run in the second inning and Joe Mauer's two-out single in the third inning, which drove home Nick Punto (inexplicably on base with a single) provided enough offense to carry the day for the Twins. Kubel's been the hottest Twins hitter of late, which is saying something considering Joe Mauer hasn't really stopped hitting since returning from the DL. If it weren't for Swarzak and the pitchers mowing the Cubs lineup down, the major talking point in the game would have been the struggles of the lineup. But they were facing Rich Harden, a pitcher who is dominant when healthy, which isn't too often. And the Twins aren't 100% healthy, either. Brendan Harris has been doing an admirable job in the lead-off position since Span has been unavailable, but he's better suited for the 6 or 7 hole in the lineup. And of course Nick Punto is back with the team, which cripples your lineup on a daily basis. I like it how the writers and broadcasters keep referring to these interleague games as unique because the Twins have to bat the pitcher when playing in National League parks. Wait a minute -- the Twins bat a pitcher in every game, and his name is Nick Punto. I think that's why the Twins are so successful in interleague games -- they're so used to playing National League baseball because they regularly feature a hitter who bats like a pitcher does in their lineup. Now that you think about it, it is surprising that the Twins are so successful playing interleague games on the road, because with Nick Punto batting eighth, there are back-to-back pitchers in the batting order. Hey, the Twins got a run out of Punto on Saturday, so they should be laughing all the way to the bank.

The Twins face a tough, hot lefty in Ted Lilly on Sunday. Lilly has been lights-out as of late, and the Twins have struggled against left-handers all year long, especially on the road. Their two wins in Oakland, games which were started by lefties Brett Anderson and Dallas Braden, were the Twins' first wins this year on the road in games started by southpaws. Lilly's more than a little bit better than those pitchers, and with the unpredictable Scott Baker on the mound, the chances for a Twins sweep aren't that great. But the Twins have salvaged at least a .500 road trip with the series win at Wrigley, which is awesome considering their road woes to date.

JUNE 8, 2009 -- OAKLAND 4, MINNESOTA 3

The Magical Mystery Tour continues in Oakland, where the Twins bats are again silenced for most of the night and the pitching does just enough to lose the game. The Athletics won their seventh game in a row, yet they hardly looked unstoppable, as a pedestrian lineup did the bare minimum to get past the Twins. Josh Outman cruised in five of his six innings, and his only hiccup was the fourth, when the Twins clawed for three two-out runs. Handing Anthony Swarzak a three-run cushion, Swarzak went out and followed Twins-on-the-road protocol to a tee, but giving up that lead as soon as humanly possible. I'm going to do some research on this today to see how many times that the Twins have given up a lead on the road in the next half inning, because it seems to be just about every time that they score, their opponents answer right back.

Swarzak was his own worst enemy in the fourth, as the A's scored three runs on just one hit: a bases-clearing double by ex-Gopher great Jack Hannahan. The bases were loaded compliments of two walks and a hit batsman, and if it were not for two spectacular defensive plays by Brendan Harris, the inning would have been absolutely disastrous. Ron Gardenhire's gameplan worked out well, though -- I think his goal in the game was to give Luis Ayala a loss, because he's been pitching deceivingly well of late and for all the suckiness that he's done so far this year that has not been acknowledged with defeats, he deserves one. Ayala delivered in the fifth, when the first pitch of the inning was belted 400 feet off the bat of Jack Cust. The 4-3 score at that point did not change, as the Twins haplessly collected five measly singles against rookie Outman and the bullpen.

I could go in detail about the Twins patheticness at the plate, but it's safe to say that the Twins on the road are one of the worst offensive threats in baseball. We're getting a daily reminder on this road trip that the Twins' power surge in May was a fluke, as they've yet to hit a home run in the first four games of the road trip and only have a handful of doubles. Especially when you don't get two-out hitting with runners in scoring position, it's really hard to score runs and win games, and it's no surprise that the Twins are 1-3 (lucky to be 1-3, really -- their lone win on the trip was a 2-1 victory) and have scored a grand total of eight runs in four games. Michael Cuddyer was at it again on Monday, grounding into double plays late in the ballgame in clutch situations. Justin Morneau took the collar, striking out in all three at-bats against Outman. Brendan Harris' 12-game hitting streak came to an end, though his defense no doubt saved a few runs -- it's really sad to say that Harris' status as an everyday player is in jeopardy because of Nick Punto returning from the DL on Friday. If ever there was a manager in baseball that would bench a hot hitter and a good defender (as good as Punto) in favor of the worst hitter in baseball and an average fielder, it's Ron Gardenhire. Expect Punto to be in the lineup the second he comes off the disabled list, and Harris may have to shift to second base in order to remain playing. Speaking of twelve-game streaks, Seldom Young's twelve gamer stretched to thirteen -- not a hitting streak, of course, but a strikeout streak; yep, that's a whole baker's dozen games consecutive with a strikeout. Absolutely unacceptable.

Something has got to be done about Joe Crede, too. It seems that every other day now Crede has been out of the lineup with some minor injury. We knew that coming into the season Crede's back was a big question mark, but it really hasn't been the back that has forced Crede out of the lineup. One day it's a hamstring, then it's his knee, then his hand -- Crede just might be the most fragile player I've ever heard of. It's not like Crede is a helluva ballplayer -- he hits .230 with a little pop -- but considering the other options for the Twins (Matt Tolbert, Alexi Casilla, Brian Buscher), Crede being out of the lineup is disastrous for the Twins. Either Crede needs to work with the strength and conditioning team to get his body in full working order or the Twins need to DL him and get him some rest. Right now Crede's a guy who seems only able to play about four games a week. That means that guys like Tolbert and Buscher and Casilla are playing way too much for the Twins to call themselves a true contender.

I few days back I did a rudimentary report card for Carlos Gomez and I gave him an A- for his fielding. Let's drop that down to a B, as Gomez' terrible play in the field on Hannahan's double perhaps cost the Twins a run. Hannahan's hit wasn't going to be caught, and Gomez took about the worst angle he possibly could, and let the ball roll to the wall. Had Gomez stayed in front of the ball and cut it off, he probably would have held the third runner from scoring. In all honesty, Gomez probably was just giving back the run that he earned in the top half of the inning, when Gomez unexpectedly walked with the bases loaded. It wasn't a difficult walk, as all of the pitches were well out of the strikezone, but that sort of thing (Gomez getting RBIs) just doesn't happen very often, and he seemed determined to give that run right back in the field, and he accomplished that in spades.

The way the offense is running right now, it's going to be very very hard for the Twins to win a game here in Oakland. Scott Baker pitches tonight against the A's -- if ever there was a time for Baker to step up and stop the bleeding, it's right now. If I'm Gardenhire, I start to panic right about now. This road trip has the makings of a long losing streak, and the look on the player's faces is not one of determination. They seem to be taking the losing in stride, and if I'm the manager, I get in their grill and lay the smack down. You don't lose games like this to subpar teams like Seattle and Oakland, and you don't have this much of a disparity at home versus on the road. Good teams play consistently well no matter the venue, and this version of the Twins, at this point, appears to be a sub-.500 team.

JUNE 3, 2009 -- CLEVELAND 10, MINNESOTA 1

After two straight one-run wins, the Twins fall back to earth, as they receive an ass-kicking at the hands of the fourth-worst team in baseball, the Cleveland Indians. Cliff Lee cruised to his third win of the season, and Anthony Swarzak did not look particularly good as he droppped to 1-2 on his young career. This outing might be good for Swarzak, however, as he needs to learn how to lose at the big league level and be able to come back in his next start and rebound. And frankly, only one ball was hit with any authority against Swarzak -- Jhonny Peralta's crippling three-run home run -- and it seemed the other hits for the Tribe were a collection of broken-bat bleeders that were hit where the fielders weren't. It was a pathetic display of baseball from every facet of the game, so let's get going.

The offense continued to sputter, as Lee pretty much shut the door on the Twins from the get-go. I would like to comment on this whole Cliff Lee-Carlos Gomez fued that's been supremely overblown by the Twins media. Apparently this stems from last season, when Gomez tried to bunt his way on every time at the plate against Lee, and Gomez was at it again on Wednesday. The problem is, Gomez is a terrible bunter, and he did one of the most pathetic things you can do in baseball in his first at-bat: strike out by fouling a bunt with two strikes. Correct me if I'm wrong, but does Gomez have a bunt hit this season? If he does, it's no more than one or two, but yet he tries at least four times a game. Lee apparently does not appreciate Gomez trying to bunt every time up, and I just have to say: Cliff, buddy, don't let this fool Gomez rattle you. You have a Cy Young on your resume, and what does Gomez have? A few Web Gems and a terrible approach to hitting? You are so much better than Gomez. The only reason he tries to bunt on you is because he knows he can't get a real hit off of you. Take it as a compliment.

Watching Gomez at the plate is almost as bad as seeing Seldom Delmon Young take a few hacks with the stick. Young went 1 for 4 (the one hit being a bloop single -- what a surprise), made four outs in his three other at-bats, and struck out twice, making him 4 for 34 with 19 Ks since returning from the family emergency list. If you go back a little further, the slump he is in is actually 4 for 41 (.097 average!) with 21 strikeouts. Seldom's on an amazing ten-game streak -- not a hitting streak, obviously, but a strikeout streak -- ten games in a row with at least one strikeout. For a guy who rarely gets on base and never hits home runs, that's just pathetic. Even missing a dozen games, the guy is 25th in the league in strikeouts. It's getting close to the time that a shake-up needs to be made, and usually the beginning of June marks the annual Twins shakeup. This was about the time that Juan Castro and Tony Batista were jettisoned in 2006, and also the time that Mike Lamb and Craig Monroe lost the majority of their playing time last season. The only thing going for the Twins regarding Young is Young's age; because he's only 24, you might get some team drunk enough to take the bait. And, as I said yesterday, whoever gets Young will be glad they did, as he'll blossom into that five-tool player everyone thought he was.

Alexi Casilla's error in the eighth inning led to two meaningless runs scoring off of Luis Ayala in the eighth inning. Casilla's defense continues to be underwhelming, and we all know that his offensive production is nonexistent. The Twins have a major hole at second base right now, and neither Casilla or Matt Tolbert or anyone that they put there can do the job at this point. It should be that the Twins are on the market for a second-baseman, but knowing Ron Gardenhire and the front-office, they're more than happy to drop games with talent-deficient infielders. The bad thing about Casilla's error last night was not that it led to two runs, but that those two runs were unearned against Ayala. We need Ayala's ERA to skyrocket, and quick, because the Twins are apparently fine with Ayala giving up runs in every outing; maybe with a 7.00+ ERA, the Twins would be forced to cut ties with the righthander. Ayala has a 4.07 ERA -- talk about deceiving.

As a sidenote, Dick Bremer's guess on last night's trivia question was pathetically wrong. When asked what pitcher holds the record for the most losses in a season after they won the Cy Young award, Bremer came up with Denny McLain, who he believed had a bad year after his 31-win 1968. Bremer was only a little bit off -- McLain went 24-9 in 1969 and won a second consecutive Cy Young.

MAY 28, 2009 -- BOSTON 3, MINNESOTA 1

The Twins can't take three out of four against the Red Sox, struggling to get anything off of Boston ace Josh Beckett, and losing 3-1. The lone Twins run came on a Joe Crede bomb to left field, but other than that the Twins rarely threatened against Beckett and the bullpen. The seventh inning was certainly an eventful frame, as both teams saw their catcher and manager being tossed in that inning. It really hurt the Twins, as they were forced to use Joe Mauer behind the plate and lose the designated hitter for the remainder of the game. This probably will now make Ron Gardenhire wary of using both Mike Redmond and Joe Mauer in the same game, and he'll probably resort to just resting Mauer and not using him as a DH. It may also prompt Gardenhire to call up Jose Morales as a third catcher, which I would welcome. What value does Luis Ayala have on this team? Zero, and his days on the roster should be coming to a close, which could make room for a third catcher. In all reality, Redmond has no serviceable talent available anymore, but he's a "clubhouse guy" and "gritty," as Gardenhire would say, and he has a sick aversion of keeping talent-deficient "character" guys on his team (Punto, Tolbert, Redmond, et al).


Anthony Swarzak pitched good enough to win the ballgame for the Twins, pitching into the seventh inning and allowing only three runs. Now I know that young pitchers have a tendancy to do well in their first few starts, before teams have a good knowledge of how the pitcher approaches at-bats and what stuff he has. It's not wise to assume that Swarzak is going to be lights-out all season long. But it is refreshing to see a pitcher on the mound who is confident in his pitches. Swarzak is a pitcher's pitcher, a pitcher and not merely a thrower, who has appeared to be wise beyond his years in his first two starts. Conversely, Glen Perkins looked like a deer in the headlights in his last four or so starts, Francisco Liriano seems to have zero confidence in his ability right now, and Scott Baker doesn't exactly own the mound at this point either. Swarzak's poise is really his number one asset, and I don't think you can remove him from his starting spot until he appears to lose that poise. I reiterate that I believe the best situation for the team is for Liriano to move to the bullpen -- and don't think of it as a demotion to the bullpen, but rather perceive it as having both the team and the pitcher's best interest in mind when making the move. Liriano has devastating stuff when he's on, but he seems to lose that edge rather quickly in his starts. Bottle that lights-out stuff and expose it for an inning or two at a time; it can help the team drastically, because we all know that the middle-relief is the Achilles heel of the franchise. Joe Nathan isn't going to be around forever, either, and Liriano potentially has closer material. Moving Liriano to the 'pen makes logical sense, which probably means that the Twins will never do it.


Here's a Nick Punto update for all you fans. Punto sat out on Thursday due to a sore groin, and passionate Twins fans can only hope that that groin problem does not improve. He's hitting a feeble .187 with an OPS of an almost-unimaginable .501. Punto is about ten plate appearances from qualifying for batting average statistics, but just to put that in perspective -- the next lowest OPS in the American League is .544, by Tampa Bay's Dioner Navarro. The numbers don't lie -- Punto is far and away the worst offensive player in the league. His defense, the attribute normally cited as the reason he makes $4 million a season, isn't so hot either; his fielding percentage is 15th out of 22 qualifying major-league shortstops, and he's made the seventh-most errors out of any shortstop in the league so far (5). Pretty pedestrian numbers for a guy with the fifth-highest contract on the team. And if you want a really good laugh, check out the Official Nick Punto Fan Club. So funny that it almost made me throw up.


The Twins travel to Tampa Bay, who are reeling right now, losers of five straight games and decimated with injuries. Scott Baker pitches tonight for the Twins against James Shields, a pitcher whom the Twins have had good success against.