JUNE 7, 2009 -- SEATTLE 4, MINNESOTA 2

The Twins, not surprisingly, lose two out of three to the Mariners, as Eric Bedard finally beats the Twins for the first time in his career, and Kevin Slowey puts forth a subpar start and drops to 8-2 on the season. Slowey gave up three home runs to the Mariners in 4-2/3 innings, one each to Russell Branyan, Jose Lopez, and, unacceptably, Jamie Burke, a career minor-leaguer who was just called up earlier in the day. Here's a guy, Burke, who's 37 years old and has only 350 major league atbats in his whole career, with now three home runs. He came into the game hitting .077 (1 for 13) on the season, and Slowey picks this guy to beat him. This gets back to my idea of the sore thumbs of an opponents' lineup -- in order to have a chance of winning, you need to get the guys in the lineup that are so bad that they stick out like sore thumbs. If ever there was a sore thumb in a lineup (and Seattle has plenty) Jamie Burke's the guy. He's got two claims to fame in his spotty major league career: 1) he was bowled over at the plate by Torii Hunter when he was with the White Sox and 2) he lost a game while pitching for the Mariners last year in a 15-inning game. But, hey, I suppose the guy's a career .280 hitter (in the minors). But there's no good reason to give up hits to people like Jamie Burke, much less home runs. Absolutely ridiculous.

Speaking of sore thumbs, Michael Cuddyer has become quite literally a sore thumb in the Twins lineup, or to be more precise, a sore forefinger. Cuddyer missed a few games because of swelling in the finger, and for some reason was not put on the DL. He played in Saturday's game and looked Cuddyeresque (i.e. pathetic) and then there he was again in the lineup Sunday, even after Cuddyer said the finger swelled again. It looked obvious, as Cuddyer was unable to wrap the finger around the bat. Great -- that's all we need. Look, Cuddyer, you suck with ten fingers; with this swelled index finger you're basically as good as a nine-fingered frog. Do the team a favor and go on the disabled list. For one thing, we as fans won't have to see pathetic strikeouts like the one you did in your first at-bat Sunday.

Cuddyer aside, the rest of the team did not perform Sunday at the plate, nor for the entire series for that matter. The 1-2-3 hitters in the lineup went a combined 5 for 35 in the series (.143). In the three games, the Twins went 2 for 24 with zero hits to the outfield and zero RBIs with runners in scoring position in the series -- you're not going to score many runs ever if that's the case. Alexi Casilla came to the plate with runners on base all day long and he choked all day long. I'd like to give Casilla a new nickname a la Vikings star running back Adrian Peterson, who uses All Day AP as his sobriquet. It's All Day AC -- meaning Alexi Casilla chokes all day long. It's pretty bad when Brendan Harris, an admirable player but by no means great, is carrying your lineup. Harris' hitting streak stretched to twelve games, and with Nick Punto due to come off the DL on Friday, it will be interesting to see whether Gardenhire benches Harris in the midst of a hitting streak in favor of the perennial rally killer Punto. And for how bad the Twins looked this weekend, it's not like this is a surprising streak of baseball -- remember the series last month against the Yankees? The Twins couldn't buy a clutch hit that weekend, and that same horror show was on display in Seattle this weekend.

The Twins on the road, I believe, are the real version of this team. They aren't underperforming on the road, as spinners like Dick Bremer would posit, but they're overperforming at home, plain and simple. I love it when Bremer keeps the fans posted as to the status of the other teams in the division, as if the pennant race is already in full swing. It's June, dipshit, and the Twins aren't even at .500. Put it this way -- the Cincinnati Reds have a better record than the Twins do right now. These Mariners, who lost 100 games last season, have a better mark than the Twins do. With the June schedule being road-heavy, this might be the part of the schedule that sinks the team's chances. Though the Central Divison is certainly winnable, it appears that the Tigers are poised to run away with it, and I like their chances. They've got three pitchers right now on the top of their game that is comparable to any top three starters in the league (Jackson-Verlander-Porcello) and their lineup is certainly potent, with Cabrera and Ordonez et al. Don't forget that the Tigers arguably have the best manager in the league (Jim Leyland) and could get Jeremy Bonderman back from injury. You heard it hear, folks: the Twins are in trouble.

The Magical Mystery Tour which is this ten-game road trip continues tonight in Oakland, where the Twins haven't been successful of late. The A's are a young team that features a lefty-heavy pitching staff, which will spell doom for the Twins. And it doesn't hurt that the Athletics come into tonight with a six-game winning streak. Two rookies battle each other tonight: Anthony Swarzak for the Twins, and Josh Outman for the A's.