MAY 31, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 3, TAMPA BAY 2

The Twins snap their three-game losing streak with a victory at the Trop, with Nick Blackburn outdueling Matt Garza for a 3-2 win. It was the first save for Joe Nathan this year on the road, and he retired the Rays 1-2-3 in the bottom of the ninth. The bullpen did admirably – which might be the first time (and only time, perhaps) that I utter those words; it’s too bad that Ron Gardenhire’s continued overmanagement of that area of the game is yet another talking point for today. Plenty to get to in what was a pretty ugly win for the Twins, but at this point I’ll take them anyway we can get them on the road.

Carlos Gomez drove in the winning run for the Twins in the top of the seventh with a bloop hit just out of the reach of the infielders. Most of Gomez’ hits are of the cheesy variety, and Sunday’s game winner was certainly Cheddarific. My stance was that Gomez should not have batted in that situation and I still say that. You had guys on at first and third and one out – Gomez loves to fail in those situations as he fails in every situation. For how bad a hitter Gomez is, he is absolutely dreadful in situations which actually mean something. Ron Gardenhire had the best hitter in the planet on the bench – Joe Mauer – but in his infinite wisdom, Mauer needed a “complete day off,” so Gomez it was, and Gomez shockingly came through with one of the fartsiest hits I’ve ever seen. Gomez made up for it in the ninth inning, when he came to the plate in the same situation as the seventh – first and third, one out – and this time he showed his meddle by striking out pathetically. The game-winning hit may have overshadowed his first at-bat of the game, in which Gomez did something so bad that I’ll have a hard time describing it. He squared to bunt, then moved his hands up on the bat and sort of took a half-swing jab at the ball, and it rolled back pathetically to the mound. The at-bat was so bad it actually made me embarrassed to be a Twins fan. Seriously – that guy is in the major leagues? There’s no better option than someone who callously gives up their at-bats like that? Unbelievable.

Alexi Casilla is no better than Gomez, and it was Casilla who was trying to bunt for base hits most of the night. Casilla, a hitter hitting .160, was batting second in the lineup for some inexplicable reason. Batting orders aren’t rocket science, Gardenhire. You try to put the best hitters near the top, power hitters in the middle, and Punto or pitchers in the #9 hole; how does a guy hitting his weight bat second in any lineup at any level? There was Casilla on Sunday, coming up constantly with guys on base and pathetically getting out every time at the plate. When he tries to bunt for a hit (which is often) it signals to anybody watching the game that Casilla himself has no confidence in his abilities to actually get a real base hit. Ron Gardenhire hitting Casilla second – another example of the supreme stupidity of the Twins skipper.

Gardenhire’s insanity can be most easily evidenced in the management of his bullpen, and though he lucked out Sunday, it was yet another shining example of the man’s pathetic overmanaging. First, he takes out Nick Blackburn after six innings and 98 pitches – ridiculous for a guy who is basically your staff ace at this point. You’re supposed to ride your ace and have them put the team on their backs, a la Jack Morris or Frank Viola. The only thing worse than the manager taking out Blackburn after six innings is that Blackburn’s OK with it; to pitch 6 or 7 innings is the goal for a Twins pitcher at this point because of the demented approach instilled by the regime. Gardenhire has lefty Sean Henn come it to face one batter – Dioner Navarro, who has the worst OPS in the league among qualifying hitters. Navarro’s a switch hitter, and apparently Gardenhire wanted Navarro to hit right-handed against the southpaw Henn. Dude, the guy is statiscally the worst hitter in the league. He’s got numbers that suggest Puntoesque Patheticness – I don’t think it matters what side of the plate the guy hits from. Of course, Navarro tagged a hanger from Henn and the ball landed inches foul before Henn came back to get Navarro out. Gardy skipped out of the dugout and resumed the cavalcade of ridiculousness which is his bullpen. Matty Guerrier pitched un-Guerrier-like (i.e. he got batters out) and Jose Mijares held down the fort in the eighth, though not without a booming hit off the bat of B.J. Upton that almost left the building. Mijares showed some rare athleticism when he caught a pop-up that had ricocheted off of the roof; he staggered and did a digger on the mound following the catch, which had to remind Twins fans of another popular overweight Mexican, Dennys Reyes. Mijares is admittedly more than a few trips to Sizzler away from really imitating Reyes, by far the jowliest pitcher in the bigs. But here’s to trying, Jose.

Seeing that Joe Nathan had not pitched in three days and the team had an off-day on Monday, it would make perfect sense for Joe Nathan to go two innings on Sunday to get the save. “Perfect sense” and “Ron Gardenhire” are mutually exclusive terms, however – you can’t have one and the other at the same time, so Gardenhire was content with letting his middle-relievers try to blow the game themselves. Mijares came within a few feet of doing just that (the Upton hit), but Gardenhire dodged a bullet and lucked out big-time.

As a side note, I’m getting quite peeved to hear Dick Bremer continuously refer to this as the 1/3 mark of the season, and that we can just multiply the hitters’ numbers by three and that’s what they’ll be at the end of the season. This would mean that Michael Cuddyer would have 100 RBIs and 27 home runs, for instance. Dude – when does projecting numbers like that ever work out? You have to factor in variables, like Michael Cuddyer sucks, and then you might have an accurate projection for Cuddyer -- .260, 15 HR, 75 RBIs, give or take. Think of it this way – Joe Mauer’s stats for 2008, had they followed a “projection” of his stats at the end of May, would have been .315, 0 HR, 63 RBI. They were a little off, as he ended up .328, 9 HR, 85 RBI.

Props to Bert “The Homophobe” Blyleven, whose dialogue with Bremer early in the game provided me one of the most awkwardly hilarious moments I have ever heard. In response to a viewer’s question regarding the two broadcaster’s favorite players growing up, Bremer had said Bob Allison, and one of the criteria that went into that boyhood adoration was apparently that Allison was “good-looking.” I’ll try my best to replicate the following discussion.

BERT: I don’t know about good-looking.
DICK: You don’t think he was good-looking?

BERT: [dead serious] I don’t look at guys that way.
DICK: [trying to divert the conversation] Gabe Gross now at the plate for the Rays.
BERT: [dead serious] You’re being gross right now.

Twins open a short three-game homestand against the reeling Indians, who are now without Grady Sizemore for a few weeks. Kevin Slowey goes for win #8 on Tuesday in the opener, and he opposes rookie David Huff.