AUGUST 4, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 10, CLEVELAND 1

Perhaps the Twins exorcised some of the demons (or, more appropriately, the team's many weak spots) that came into full view when they were pasted by a top-flight team over the past weekend in their 10-1 win over Cleveland on Tuesday. I half expected Randy Quaid to be desolately pounding a bongo drum in the sparse left-field bleachers, because these Indians are very reminiscent of that sad-sack bunch immortalized in the Major League series. This is a bad team right now, and if the Twins don't sweep the Tribe, they should be kicking themselves like the Tigers probably did after losing two out of three last weekend. The Indians have two players in their lineup that have done good things in the past, and Grady Sizemore is having an awful season, and Travis Hafner continues to be hampered by injuries. Shin-Soo Choo (bless you!) has always hit well against the Twins, too, but other than that, the Indian offense doesn't really scare you anymore without Victor Martinez, but that really isn't the problem -- it's the pitching. The Indians, shockingly, are sixth in the majors in runs scored but are, not surprisingly, second to last in runs surrendered, and guys like David Huff certainly aren't going to set the world on fire with that kind of stuff. It's a formula that the Twins have too followed this season -- good offensive production, horrendous pitching; the Twins pitching has just been a little bit better at times (it helps to have a good closer) and that's why the Twins are at .500 and "competing."


Most importantly for the Twins in this game was that Scott Baker put in his fourth straight "quality" start for the Twins (I know, his start in Anaheim wasn't technically a "quality" start, but compared to his early-season efforts, and especially in comparison with the quote-unquote pitching that the Twins have gotten of late, it was just fine). Seven innings, three hits, and zero runs for Baker, who lowered his ERA to a somewhat respectable 4.59. Unless Baker continues this run of brilliance, the Twins will continue to languish without a solid ace on their staff. Nick Blackburn had assumed that role up until Ron Gardenhire and the field staff decided that he should get two weeks between starts and screw up his rythym, and now it appears that Baker has stepped up. Jesse Crain even got through an inning without giving up a run, and the run that Bobby Keppel gave up in the ninth was great -- so good, in fact, that it was worth losing the shutout for the mere fact that Keppel's ERA is now over 5, which is only about a run or two lower than what Keppel's career track record had indicated he was worth before the season. Keppel needs to give up some more runs and quickly, because Ron Gardenhire's a manager that likes to lose a lot with one guy (see Henn, Sean) before finally cutting ties with him (see Ayala, Luis). A bullpen pitcher with a 5.01 ERA is a godsend to Ron Gardenhire. Those kind of pitchers don't grow on trees, you know, and you know that Ron Gardenhire's going to get as many losses out of Bobby Keppel as he can get.


Francisco Liriano will return to the mound on Wednesday (that is, unless Ron Gardenhire asks some doctors their opinion and then hedges on those trained, medical opinions like he did last week). Liriano's got some of the ugliest stats of any pitcher in baseball, and I wouldn't expect that to change. Unfortunately for the Twins, they face southpaw Aaron Laffey, who, for whatever reason, has been tough on the Twins in the past. It actually makes perfect sense for the Twins to struggle against Laffey, as they seem to pick guys out of midair to have fits against (Daniel Cabrera, anyone?). With eleven more games remaining on the schedule against the lowly Indians, they're going to have to feast on their pitching, and also get good pitching in return. The inconsistency which the Twins have shown in spades this year needs to change, as seemingly they can morph from a playoff team to an also-ran in a matter of a day and vice versa.

JULY 17, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 5, TEXAS 3

Glen Perkins opens the second half of the season by giving up a two-run home run to the third batter he faces, Josh Hamilton, and it would appear that the crucial ten-game road trip is off to a horrendous start. Collectively, it seemed as if Twins fans everywhere muttered, “Here we go again.” But then the Twins picked themselves off the mat, tied the game in the very next inning thanks to a two-run triple by Carlos Gomez, and then rode Jason Kubel’s three-run home run in the third inning to a 5-3 victory. Perkins really struggled through five innings, throwing over one hundred pitches in getting the undeserving victory. Again, Bobby Keppel pitches the six and the seventh and mows down the opposition, striking out three of the six batters. Though Keppel’s done a yeoman’s job in this sort of role, I still think that the jury’s out with this guy. The bad thing is, we’re going to have to find out about Keppel’s real lack of talent the hard way, because all indications are that Ron Gardenhire is going to not only continue to put Keppel in games, but continue to put him in close games. Sooner or later, Keppel’s gonna go Sean Henn on everybody’s ass, and Gardenhire was willing to lose games with Henn a handful of times. So when Keppel finally implodes, it’s going to be ugly, I guarantee that much.

Alexi Casilla came into this season coming off a career year in which he hit close to .300, played stellar defense, provided a speedy option at the top of the order, and even hit a few clutch home runs during the year. That being said, Casilla fell back to earth so hard this year that it was just one month into the season that Casilla was sent down to the minors, and quite frankly that decision was a few weeks too late. Casilla’s been recalled and sent back again this year, and now he’s with his third go-round with the club. He’s back to square one, needing to earn playing time, a la spring training, which for Ron Gardenhire means that Casilla starts at second base immediately AND bats second in the lineup. What the hell Gardenhire? What is with his whole “the second baseman must hit second in this lineup regardless of how low that average sinks?” Matt Tolbert was hitting there for a while, too. The only guy that has really flourished in that spot is Joe Mauer, but Gardenhire would rather have Mauer hit third, for good reasons. Brendan Harris was spanking the ball until a recent slump, which has precipitated his move to the bottom of the order. Do you see the logic in that? Harris has one bad week (lowering his batting average to a mere .270) and he’s relegated to the #8 hole; Casilla and Tolbert have sucked all year long and have not had their averages above the Mendoza Line since, well, Opening Day, and they’re plugged into the #2 hole like that’s how it’s always been. That just makes a whole hell of a lot of sense.

Scott Baker is definitely one of the keys for the Twins in the second half if they plan of making a push for the divisional title. He’s been wildly inconsistent this season and if the Twins want to go anywhere, Baker’s going to have to pitch like the ace pitcher he was last season. He pitches tonight in Texas, and he opposes Rangers righthander Scott Feldman.

JUNE 26, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 3, ST. LOUIS 1

The Twins snag an easy, breezy win in hot and humid St. Louis Friday night, as they ride the pitching prowess of Glen Perkins and the shaky bullpen to a 3-1 win. A clutch two-out hit from Jason Kubel in the first inning provided the spark for the Twins, who were also aided by a Cardinal error in scoring their second run of the opening frame. Michael Cuddyer singled home Kubel in the sixth inning for the Twins' final run, and the lead would hold up against the shockingly average Cardinal lineup. I said in Milwaukee that I was unimpressed with the Brewer lineup and surprised that they were just a game out of first place; now I'm even more flabbergasted to see the Cardinals, who held first place coming into the game. Beyond Albert Pujols and maybe Ryan Ludwick, the Cardinals offense scares no one, and their pitching isn't overwhelming either. I'd love to say, hey, it's a credit to Tony LaRussa's expert managing that he always seems to find a way to compete with the players he's given, but people say that all the time about Ron Gardenhire, and I've found that to be undeserved praise. Some teams just get lucky consistently, and that's certainly the case with Ron Gardenhire's Twins, and it's also probably true with the Cardinals. Both teams are fortunate to play in weak divisions, but what separates the two is LaRussa's actual talent as a playoff manager. Gardenhire's good enough to get the team into the playoffs, but LaRussa isn't satisfied with that. He's been to the playoffs literally thirteen times with three ballclubs -- he wants to win the World Series, dammit, and he's done that twice, too.

In the top half of the eighth inning, Matt Tolbert struck out in front of the pitcher's spot for the third out of the inning, making it possible for Glen Perkins to go out and pitch the bottom half of the inning. With 82 pitches and in complete command of the game, it would be the logical choice. After all, your bullpen has failed you consistently for a few seasons in a row, now, and even Ron Gardenhire himself said that he'd like to get more innings out of his starters. Well, what you could do for a start is not take out Glen Perkins after 82 pitches. Of course, unreliable ol' Matty Guerrier started the eighth inning and promptly gave up two singles. There seemed to be a collective rumbling from Twins Nation that said, "Here we go again," but then Guerrier came back to strike out Tyler Greene, and then surprisingly Ron Gardenhire came out of the dugout and brought in Jose Mijares to face Skip Schumacher. It's going to be a collective Matt Guerrier Special, I thought, but then Mijares bailed out Guerrier, Gardenhire, and the Twins by inducing a double-play grounder on the only pitch he threw. Joe Nathan came in and pitched a clean ninth inning, and perhaps providing the highlight of the game when he fanned Pujols when the slugger represented the tying run.

No doubt Gardenhire would have cited the unbearable St. Louis heat for taking out Glen Perkins. Gardenhire's a better liar than most of us think, and he gives more excuses than a petulent five year old. He may have even referred to a scary incident in the stands, when a fan toppled headfirst from the second deck to the lower bowl of the stadium from an apparent case of fainting. "We need Perk ready for his next start," Gardy would likely cop out. Most likely, however, taking out Perkins on Friday was directly influenced by his decision to keep Nick Blackburn in the game on Wednesday, and that ended with Blackburn giving up the Little League home run that lost the game for them. And that whole spiel about "keeping the starters in longer?" Yeah, you can pretty much throw that out the window. The only thing that's probably going to change is that Sean Henn won't be called on to lose games anymore, and his role has likely been relegated to long-relief mop-up duty. Gardenhire just feels a heckuva lot more comfortable losing with Matt Guerrier in the eighth, and with the status quo resumed, we're probably in for a sequel of last year -- by that I mean a second place finish. They won't be nearly as close as they came in 2008, though; my odds are that the Tigers will run away with the division, winning it by about ten games.

JUNE 20, 2009 -- HOUSTON 6, MINNESOTA 5

One day after rinky-dinky cheese-ball scores them five runs (well, three legitimate runs, not counting the Seldom Young line drive that was misplayed into two runs), the Twins power their way to five runs, all via the long ball, and they lose the game 6-5 due to their bullpen. The game was a throwback in many ways to the Twins of 2008, when Ron Gardenhire regularly lost the game with his pathetic bullpen. This time around he takes out Scott Baker with the lead in the seventh inning and entrusts Sean Henn with a lead for the umpteenth time, and for the umpteenth time, Henn comes in and loses the game. We all know that Gardenhire is obsessed with his bullpen pitchers having set-in-stone “roles”; but the rapid ascension of Henn from career minor-league journeyman to seventh-inning left-handed stopper on a “competing” team is baffling even to Gardenhire’s most outspoken critic. Henn did nothing prior to assuming this new important role to suggest that he could hold leads and be anything close to reliable. But Ron Gardenhire has embraced the idea that Henn is a guy who can come into close games late and lose them pathetically. After all, Henn’s lost three games in two weeks since becoming that guy, and with Matt Guerrier having an uncharacteristically “good” year, all indications are that Henn is quickly becoming the new yukster in the ‘pen, a Guerrier version.2009, if you will.

When Gardenhire took Baker out, it was expected that Sean Henn would definitely not hold the lead. The only thing up in the air was whether Henn would produce the true Matt Guerrier Special (MGS), in which the reliever not only gives up the lead but puts his team behind by at least two runs. Henn came through in spades, as he gave up the tying hit to .200-hitting Jason Michaels and then a two-run home run to the power-deficient Michael Bourn, who absolutely mashed the ball into the right field football seats. In every sense of the word, Henn’s MGS was efficient, as he faced three batters, gave up two hits, two runs (in addition to the inherited runner who scored), and took the loss. His ERA is quickly climbing to that level known as, well, Sean Henn career numbers – by that I mean the 7.50 range. He came into the season as a career minor leaguer whose major league numbers would offend somebody’s mother-in-law, and after a few deceivingly “good” appearances for Ron Gardenhire in mop-up duty, Henn had “proven” himself for the Twins and thereby was called upon to lose games on a regular basis. To add insult to injury, Ron Gardenhire put in Luis Ayala when he yanked Henn three batters too late, and Ayala came through again with his role, which is to extend opponent’s leads. Lance Berkman fouled one off Ayala that went half-a-mile, then he dutifully ripped one that was definitely fair over the fence. Berkman’s home run ended up being the winning run – how many times does Luis Ayala give up the winning run but fail to get any negative attention lavished on him? He’s certainly immune to the microphones of Fox Sports NoTruth, who were busy lionizing Nick Punto for getting his average over .220.

Speaking of St. Punto, his patheticness had to leave the game after a head-first slide apparently bruised his ribs in the middle-innings. Hooray! As my earlier feature “In The Doghouse” stated, I am all for Punto’s head-first slides, as one of these days he’ll seriously injure himself and thereby not be available for Ron Gardenhire to put him in the everyday lineup. I always thought it would be a separated shoulder, but bruised ribs? I’ll take it. It was getting almost unbearable to hear Dick Bremer and Ron Coomer to take turns lauding the exploits of Punto. They were heaping praise on Punto during his first at-bat, and he ended up grounding out weakly to the second baseman, and Coomer was extolling how “even in his outs, he hits the ball hard.” WHAT??!?! The rest of the lineup didn’t produce much of anything outside of the four home runs hit by the top of the order. Three of the four bombs were of the solo variety (Brendan Harris, Joe Mauer, Seldom Young) and one was a two-run shot (Jason Kubel). Following a familiar script, the top of the order came through while the bottom of the order failed to contribute anything, and the Twins paid for it. All they were able to manage off of retread Brian Moehler (3-4, 6.66 ERA, .322 opponent’s average) was four hits and three runs in six innings, and Moehler ended up with the win. That’s absolutely unacceptable, especially for a team that would like to consider themselves “contenders.” You don’t lose to pitchers like Brian Moehler if you fancy yourselves a good team.

Glen Perkins goes Sunday against Wandy Rodriguez, who’s a pretty good lefty for the Astros. For a team who sucks so bad on the road, it is imperative for the Twins to win the rubber game of the series. A 4-2 homestand against the fifth-place Pirates and last-place Astros is nothing to write home about, but it’s better than 3-3, and they need all the wins that they can afford at home if they plan on sucking it up on the road. How about some production from Justin Morneau, eh? He plain hasn’t done squat in the last few weeks, and frankly he’s looked ugly on some swings. As I’ve said before, the team will go only as far as Mauer and Morneau take them; Mauer’s been pulling his load, but Morneau has not. Not surprisingly, the Twins are only hovering at the .500 mark.

JUNE 17, 2009 -- PITTSBURGH 8, MINNESOTA 2

So this is what losing to the Pittsburgh Pirates feels like. I’ve got to tell you, it doesn’t feel too good. In perhaps their worst performance of the season, the Twins are pummeled by the lowly Pirates 8-2, in a game in which every facet of the game was absolutely pathetic. They lost to a pitcher, Ian Snell, who had a 1-7 record with a gaudy ERA of 5 and a half. Not only did they lose to Snell, they were manhandled by a guy who is so average it’s hard to even distinguish him from a pack of average pitchers. Snell’s better than Francisco Liriano, however, who was busy giving up home runs to the likes of Andy LaRoche and Andrew McCutchen (who???). And Snell’s way better than Sean Henn, who finally turned in a terrible performance that will bloat his once deceivingly-low ERA. Henn’s been pitching awful of late but hasn’t seen his ERA reflect his patheticness; with his line on Wednesday (1/3 of an inning pitched, three runs) his ERA is now more indicative of his lack of talent. The same is true for Luis Ayala, who also padded his ERA and also let Henn’s two baserunners score in the eighth. The Twins just did a stupendous thing by sending Jesse Crain to the minors; it’s really too bad that what they have up in the big leagues isn’t much better. Other than Joe Nathan, every pitcher in the bullpen is a sore spot. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but R.A. Dickey has been the best bullpen pitcher aside from Joe Nathan, but his “role,” as Ron Gardenhire has defined and is therefore set in stone, is long relief, and though Dickey did work the seventh and eighth innings on Tuesday, that was mainly mop-up duty in a blowout win, and I don’t see Dickey’s role changing any time soon.

The only offense on the day was provided by a two-out double by Joe Crede, which tied the score at 2 in the fourth inning. The Twins had plenty of chances to tie the game late, but it appeared that their horrid clutch hitting that they displayed on Tuesday carried over into Wednesday. With Michael Cuddyer on third and one out in the sixth, Seldom Young tapped out to the pitcher, and Cuddyer stupidly was going on contact and got thrown out at home, and the rally was thereby killed. In the seventh, the bases were loaded with one out, and the game was very much still winnable, as the Bucs were only up by two. But, alas, Jason Kubel struck out against a guy named John Grabow and Crede tapped out pitifully to the pitcher. Rally snuffed out again. Other than two rallies that the Twins embarrassed themselves in, they didn’t really put together another rally the entire game. I love it how Fox Sports has now chosen to say that Seldom Young is “coming out of his slump” and providing the offense that the Twins are counting on from him. It was really classic Dick Bremer timing, as they couldn’t have picked a better game in which to lie to the fans about Seldom Delmon. The truth is, Seldom might be the worst player on the team, which is really saying something considering some of the other talent-free players on the team (Gomez, Tolbert, Punto, etc). And Young proved to everyone that he does indeed massively suck, as he went 0 for 4, struck out again, grounded into a double play, and failed in that guy-on-third-less-than-two-outs situation alluded to earlier. I don’t think there’s many ways that Young could fail at the plate more than he did on Wednesday. Absolutely ridiculous.

There is no excuse for losing to the Pittsburgh Pirates at home, my friends, and the Twins just did that. So much for the “interleague dominance” that the Twins apparently have, as one game like this can prove that theory wrong. It really doesn’t have anything to do with interleague play at all; the Pirates are a second-division team in the worst sense of the term, and the Twins (and Dick Bremer) would like to fashion themselves as a contending ballclub. It’s similar to losing to the Washington Nationals; the Twins should have seen three games against the Pittsburgh Pirates at home as a gift from the schedulers. Instead they go through the motions and put forth probably the worst excuse for baseball since that dreaded series against the Blue Jays in early April. And now they have to face the Pirates’ best pitcher, Zach Duke, who is 7-4 on the season with a good 3.10 ERA. Considering the Twins’ actual talent, it’s going to be a struggle for them to beat the Pirates on Thursday. I know that it’s June and that there’s a lot of baseball left, but I think the series finale is a big game for the Twins, for their morale if anything. It appeared on Wednesday that they didn’t think they needed to try to beat the Pirates. After all, they put forth a half-assed effort on Tuesday and routed the Bucs. But after a humiliating loss, now they have to battle to win the series and have to beat the Pittsburgh ace to do it. If you want to lose a series at home against the Pirates, go ahead and do the same crap that you’ve done the first two games of the series. If you want to avoid embarrassment and take care of business, then you put your game face on, treat the game like any other and go out there and pound their sorry asses. It’s not rocket science, folks, it’s the Pittsburgh Pirates. Kevin Slowey has the mound today, looking for win #10 on the season.

JUNE 11, 2009 -- OAKLAND 4, MINNESOTA 3

Nick Blackburn pitches shutout ball for the first seven innings, and Joe Crede's three-run home run appeared to be enough for the Twins to take three of four on the road from the Athletics. And then the eighth inning happened, and Blackburn gave up the three tying runs, the big blow coming on a two-run home run to Adam Kennedy. The Twins love to pick below-average opponents as their all-time nemeses; most fans will cringe when they remember that the Twins let Kennedy go Reggie Jackson on their asses in the 2002 ALCS against Anaheim, when he hit three home runs in the clinching game of the series. Kennedy has bounced around from team to team since he left the Angels a few years back, and now has surfaced to kill the Twins once more. It's funny -- the Twins have a glaring hole at second base, and Oakland doesn't appear to be in contending mode. The Twins should be thinking of trading for this guy for the mere reason that he won't kill them anymore -- kind of like what they did with Craig Monroe last season. Anyway, after Kennedy's home run, the wind was permanently knocked out of the Twins' sails, and we as fans just needed to know how it was going to happen. It turned out that the reliable Sean Henn-Matt Guerrier combo sucked it up in the ninth. Henn, who was called on to lose a game for the second time this road trip, characteristically walked the only batter he was called on to face, and then Guerrier came in and, well, Guerrier'ed it up, hitting a batter and giving up the game winning single to .239-hitting Rajai Davis.

Blackburn pitched like an ace until the eighth inning, and his performance was certainly good enough to win the ballgame, but the offense, save for the Crede home run, was stymied once again by a young starter, Trevor Cahill. With Denard Span out and Carlos Gomez, as always, being terrible, Ron Gardenhire went with Matt Tolbert, he of the .183 batting average, in the lead-off spot, and Tolbert produced as much as his numbers dictate -- 0 for 4. I'll say it again -- Joe Mauer is everything you want out of a lead-off hitter and more. Obviously it's better for Mauer to be in the 2 or 3 hole, but without Span, Mauer is the natural choice to lead-off for you. He takes pitches, works counts, gets on base, and can drive home runs for you, too. Instead, Ron Gardenhire is addicted to putting talent-deficient "speed" guys in the leadoff hole. The "speed" that they do have is pretty well negated by the fact that they can't get on base, and we all know that you can't steal first base. In his month with the team, Matt Tolbert has proven one thing -- he is not a major-league caliber player, but on the Twins, talent is something that is not needed to have an integral role on the team. In fact, the Twins almost prefer for some of their hitters to sacrifice their talents when they are either called up or acquired. Seldom Young's rookie year with the Devil Rays was stellar, especially for a 21-year old, but since he's put on the Twins pinstripes, he's been a disaster, as the Twins have apparently sucked every ounce of talent out of him, rendering him a zero-tool player. Instead of letting Young blossom into that player that was taken #1 overall in the draft, Joe Vavra has done his best at dicking with Young's swing to a point that he's a totally different ballplayer -- one for the worse, mind you.

The Twins get another chance at facing a young, inexperienced starter when they travel to Wrigley Field and take on right-hander Randy Wells, who has pitched very well in six starts but has yet to notch his first major-league win. The status of Denard Span continues to be in limbo, and with Nick Punto coming off the disabled list, it will be interesting to see who will be in the leadoff position today. My bets are that Alexi Casilla will be sent down when Punto is activated, and also that Punto, probably the worst player that the Twins have, will be hitting leadoff and playing second base, with Brendan Harris retaining his shortstop position. Ron Gardenhire gave a vote of confidence to Harris earlier in the week -- probably the first kind words Gardenhire has ever uttered of Harris -- and by doing so, he surprisingly lets Harris keep the job that he earnestly deserves. With the Twins facing some tough pitching this weekend, any wins will be gratefully taken. Kevin Slowey tries for his ninth win today against Wells.

JUNE 6, 2009 -- SEATTLE 2, MINNESOTA 1

The Twins lose pathetically on Saturday to an inferior Seattle team, 2-1. The Twins have managed a whopping three runs in nineteen innings at Safeco Field -- one was unearned thanks to a Seattle error, one scored on a sacrifice fly and the other (the lone run Saturday) was driven in compliments of an unlikely two-out double by Mike Redmond. Sure, the Mariners lead the American League in earned-run-average, but let's be honest -- Jerrod Washburn is about as average a pitcher as you can get, and you don't deserve to win when you only scratch across one run in seven innings against him. A guy with twenty-three letters in his last name (Chris Jakabakabuskaskasbuskgsahskghve) actually got the win, and Ron Gardenhire introduced a new role for career minor-league veteran Sean Henn -- losing games in the eighth inning. There's a lot to get to, so away we go.


Let's start with the idiotic decision to let Henn pitch the eighth inning. Apparently the inning was Henn's altogether, as Jose Mijares and his two-thirds of an inning on Friday dictated a complete day off on Saturday. Henn hasn't been pitching terribly, but let's remember that Henn has bounced around from organization to organization and has a 7+ ERA in the majors for his career for a reason -- he sucks. With Ron Gardenhire, things like logic always take a back seat to stupidity, and Saturday was a perfect example. When dealing with his terrible bullpen, Ron Gardenhire usually lets a new guy get into clutch situations after about five or six good appearances, no matter how ugly the guy's career numbers may be (see Breslow, Craig). Henn's role at first was mostly mop-up duty, but after five appearances, Henn's role has changed into eighth-inning tie-game preserver. Wait, what???!!! On what planet does that make sense? It's not like Gardenhire's bullpen was really taxed after Friday's game, and Henn had pitched nearly forty pitches in Thursday's game. It doesn't quite follow that Henn can quite be called upon to lose games in the eighth inning. Frankly I'm more used to Matt Guerrier or Jesse Crain doing that, and I'd rather not see the new guy assume this role. Just stick to the norm, Gardenhire -- you're good at that. If you were hellbent on losing the game in the eighth inning, stick in Guerrier. He's already in The Doghouse.


The offense again was a no-show, and the top of the order again failed to produce. The 1-2-3 hitters in the lineup -- Span, Mauer, and Morneau -- are a combined 1 for 21 in the series thus far. It's no wonder the Twins have scored three runs in two games. Compounding that suckiness is the fact that the bottom of the order has actually produced hits; if the top of the order was producing in the series, the Twins could have had two routs on the books instead of two pathetic 2-1 games. The third inning was the epitome of the Twins' road patheticness. With the bases loaded and one out, Justin Morneau struck out pitifully -- waving at three outside sliders from Washburn. I'm not here to bash Morneau, but he'll do this far too often than is to be expected from an MVP. Especially on the road, where you guys are an unbelievably bad 7-17, you NEED to get the runs home in these situations. When your RBI men are at the plate, there's no striking out against retread veteran lefthanders.


This team will go as far as Mauer and Morneau will take them; right now they're taking them as far as .500. I wouldn't expect much more out of this team this year, especially considering that one-half of their games are on the road, where they've been so bad that it's hard to watch this season. The month of June may turn out to be the critical month for the Twins, as they only play six more home games for the remainder of the month. The prospects for the road trip are not looking good; it's not as if they're playing very stiff competition, but knowing the Twins on the road, they'll be lucky to break even in those games. My prediction for the month: Twins go 10-12 for the remainder of the month (5-1 at home, 5-11 on the road).



Seldom Delmon Young was at it again on Saturday, being pathetic in every aspect of the game. At the plate, Young went 1 for 3 (we'll get back to that one hit) with two strikeouts, extending his streak of consecutive games with at least one strikeout to twelve. He's struck out two times in a game four games in a row -- the last time he didn't strike out twice in a game was five games ago, when he struck out three times. For a guy who rarely hits the ball with any sort of authority, that's just absolutely pathetic. In the field, Young had a classic misplay in the first inning, when he nearly played Russell Branyan's pop fly into an inside-the-park home run. Fortunately for Young and the Twins, the ball bounced out of play for a ground-rule double; had the ball stayed in play, Branyan would have at least had a triple, and a home run would not have been out of the realm of possibility. Then there's baserunning. Young actually got on base in the third inning thanks to a rare single, and he was at third with two outs following Morneau's clutch strikeout. Joe Crede was at the plate, and Washburn uncorked a wild pitch. Young, of course, had a terrible break on the play, and was thrown out miserably trying to score. Hey, Young, you suck at the plate and in the field -- can you do me a favor and at least run, you sonofagun? Though I can't fault the coaching staff for this one, as you really can't practice baserunning before you work out Young's swing -- there's no point in practicing how to run the bases if you never get to first base.


Speaking of running, why was Carlos Gomez pinch running in the ninth inning if he was not planning on stealing a base? The Brain put him in there for Mike Redmond after Red Dog walked with one out, and it appeared obvious that Gomez was put in to utilize his speed and steal second base. He's the fastest runner on the team, so we keep hearing (though we rarely see it, as we all know you can't steal first base, and Gomez hitting his way on base -- ha ha, good one). The Twins were down by one run, and a stolen base would put the tying run in scoring position. But, Gomez was anchored to first base. My question is, if Gomez was not running, why even pinch run for Redmond? Apparently Gardenhire was banking on Brian Buscher (.208) to hit a double, because that would have been the only logical reason for Gomez to pinch run for Redmond and not steal a base. Yes, Gomez has defensive prowess, but for how "fast" the guy is, he's a terrible baserunner with even worse instincts and even worse smarts. Gomez' report card:


Fielding A-
Baserunning F
Hitting F-
Bunting F-
Intangibles F
Pissing off the best players on opposing teams (Cliff Lee, Mark Teixeira, e.g.) A.


Kevin Slowey goes for win number 9 (number 9...number 9 -- Beatles, anyone?) against Eric Bedard, who again tries for his first win against the Twins. Bedard's too good of a pitcher to go this long without a victory against the Twins, and Slowey's run of good luck is apt to run out soon enough, so expect a Mariners win.