APRIL 14, 2010 -- BOSTON 6, MINNESOTA 3

The first weather-affected game goes against the Twins, as the Red Sox get the clutch hits and take the middle game of the three-game series. The Twins offense was dreadfully pathetic, as they couldn't come up with the big hit all game long. The key at-bat in the game came in the seventh inning, when the Twins loaded the bases with two outs. Boston was up a run at 3-2 and brought in Hideki Okajima to face Justin Morneau. Morneau, predictably, popped up -- just about as pitiful of an at-bat as you could come up with. Jesse Crain then returned to his old self in the top of the eighth by surrendering three insurance runs to effectively put the nail in the coffin. Those three runs were driven in by none other than Jeremy Hermida, no doubt the weak link in the Boston lineup. What Crain's history will tell you is that when he struggles, all that he can figure out to throw is a straight fastball, and that's when bad hitters like Hermida can feast on Crain. Many people were expecting big things from Crain this year, but I'm pretty skeptical. The only big thing I see from Crain in 2010 is his ERA (hey-o!). Worth mentioning as well is Michael Cuddyer's fly-out to end the game. He represented the tying run and of course failed to deliver. His home run in the eighth was classic Cuddyer -- a meaningless homer that pads the stats and looks good on his baseball card. If he would ever hit a homer that would actually mean something...

Kevin Slowey pitched poorly, barely getting through five innings and obviously struggling to pitch through the weather. As mentioned before, Crain's terrible outing put a stain on the bullpen's overall impressive start to the season, and they'll be getting some help in the form of Ron Mahay, who was called up from extended spring training. Alex Burnett drank his cup of coffee and he's back to Rochester and will likely sink into Twins oblivion. The Mahay call-up has everything to do with Jose Mijares, who's looked as good as a pregnant woman on roller skates so far this year. As Hank eluded to yesterday, to see Ron Gardenhire put Brian Douchebag late in the game for multiple innings is a plan waiting to backfire. Mahay's endurance is questionable, however -- he's always been a lefty to face a batter or two; certainly not full innings. In a sense, the Twins got an emergency pinch-hitter, too. Some may be surprised to hear that Mahay first broke into the big leagues as an outfielder for the Red Sox. His numbers translate to a Nick Punto-esque kind of career at the plate, so it's a great thing that he turned out to be left-handed, because he's made quite a career for himself out of pitching exclusively to left-handed batters.

Just as a quick sidenote, we are officially nine games into the season (that's 153 to go!) and Dick Bremer is already in pennant chase mode. In the middle of Wednesday's game, he was giving all-too-frequent-for-the-middle-of-April updates on the Kansas City-Detroit game, saying that it'd be a "good thing" if the Royals were able to beat the Tigers. Dude, it's APRIL. Last season is over -- there is no need to keep us apprised of the Tigers. For all we know, the Royals might be the team to catch this season -- it wouldn't be good for the Twins if KC won then, would it? Just do me a favor Dick: give it fifty games at least before you start blowing shit out of proportion. 50 games. That's all I ask.

Photos: AP/Andy King

APRIL 12, 2010 - MINNESOTA 5, BOSTON 2

Hello folks, Hank Rickenbacher checking in. Well, my son Henry gave me and Betsy tickets to Opening Day as a birthday present, so yours truly was at the Target Field for yesterday's festivities. Before we get to the game, I thought you folks would like a "Rickenbacker Review" of the Target Field.Now let me just say, I don't know why the Twins ever left Met Stadium for a football stadium named after a hippie. What was wrong with the Met? And I remember all the hype about the Metrodome before that place opened, and look how that turned out. So when I heard all the hubbub about the Target Field after two practices, I thought, let's not put the horse before the apple cart here.

Well, I don't want to be a drain on the old parade here, but let's just say the Target Field isn't perfect. I mean, it's a nice looking park and all, and for all the tax money they spent on the place it better be. But after the drive Betsy and I were hungry enough to eat a pony, so we got in line at one of the concessions. Of course all the kids in front of us had to use their debit cards and the debit card machine wasn't working, so we waited thirty minutes just to order. What happened to good old fashioned green backs? Anyway I ordered a hot dog and they said they didn't have any hot dogs at that stand. You could've rolled me over with a feather. A baseball game, and I couldn't get a hot dog. Betsy, bless her heart, ordered us cheeseburgers, but they tried to charge us nineteen dollars for the two of them. Like heck I was paying that for two cheeseburgers, so we just left and found our seats.

Of course we had to get the seats in front of the four loudmouth Boston kids who watched about three pitches of the game total and babbled on and on with those mobile phones instead. Betsy said if I let them get to me, they'd win. Well I'm no loser, but let me just say I don't want to talk about those Boston kids anymore. Except that those punks could have used about five bars of Lifeway to clean out those mouths, good Lord, and I let 'em know it too.

Well after all that there was still a game to be played, and that’s why I made the trip down for my first game since 1981, because I have high hopes about this team. And I’ll say it was a good game for this Twins fan. Pavano pitched 6 strong innings, outdueling the Lester kid from Boston. I for one was not impressed with this “Lesser” fellow. He started his outing with a walk, and after hits by Hudson, Cuddyer, and Kubel he was down 2-0. Later, Punto turned his monthly hit into a run, and a lucky hop off the bag on a patented Mauer grounder led to another run. In the 7th Kubel hit the first moon ball in the Target Field and even landed one section from me and Betsy.

The Twinkies showed some swagger Monday which was refreshing since they usually play frightened against the Big Boys. They smacked the ball around, came inside with some pitches (though with the feminine way that Youklis kid holds the bat, I’d throw at him too), and generally acted like they were the better team. Gardenhire tested the limits of cockiness when he trotted out Brad Duensing for the 7th and then to start the 8th too! If that kid gets you three 7th inning outs against the Red Sox, you thank your lucky stripes and have a good chuckle about it later. You don’t tempt fate by sending him out there again! Thankfully the joke ended with a screaming double from one of the Beantowners, and from there it was Guerrier and Rausch to close things out.

All and all, a decent visit to the new park. I suppose I would go back, but I’ll plan on having Betsy pack some ground ham sandwiches for us, because nineteen dollars for two cheeseburgers is criminal. The Twins are back at it Wednesday at noon, Slowey vs. Lackey. Hammering Hank, signing off.

Photos: (1) & (2) - AP/Ann Heisenfelt; (3) AP/Paul Battaglia

APRIL 10, 2010 -- MINNESOTA 2, CHICAGO 1

The winning ways continue in Chicago, as Jason Kubel bails out the rest of the lineup by smashing a two-run home run for the lone Twins scores of the game, and Scott Baker pitches well enough to pick up his first victory of the season. For the majority of seven innings, the Twins were handcuffed by White Sox retread fifth-starter Freddy Garcia, who has been reduced from the sometimes-dominant pitcher he once was for the Mariners and Chisox to a slop-throwing Quadruple-A pitcher who probably would be a better fit with his neighborhood beer-league softball team. Instead, the Twins looked baffled by Garcia, which is truly pitiful, but not as pitiful as the White Sox lineup, which appears to have lost nearly all of its potency that it had for years. But Kubel did the job, and the bullpen preserved the lead, including Jon Rauch, who picked up his fourth save of the season with relative ease.

Ron Gardenhire cannot escape the long arm of the MTRC, however, for his mismanagement in the top of the eighth inning. The Twins had the bases loaded and nobody out and Michael Cuddyer at the plate. Ozzie Guillen brought in reliever Scott Linebrink to pitch to Cuddyer, who predictably didn't get the job done. Cuddyer's one of the most un-clutch hitters around, and whenever there are runners in scoring position, Cuddyer seemingly always either pops up or strikes out. Cuddyer's patheticness cannot be attributed to Gardenhire. But the next at-bat absolutely must. Gardenhire let Alexi Casilla hit. Casilla, who had entered the game for basepaths-clogging Jim Thome an inning before, remained in the game as the DH and hit for himself. WHY? We're not quite sure why any person -- it doesn't even care how much they know about the game of baseball -- would let a guy like Alexi Casilla hit in that situation. What Gardenhire would probably tell you is that they didn't have any left-handed hitting options to face Linebrink, so Casilla was the best matchup for the situation. This, of course, is a self-defeating prophecy, as Casilla is as much a left-handed batter to be taken seriously as I am the star of the next Real World. You might as well put a lamp shade in the batter's box when Casilla's turn in the order is up. Of course, Casilla struck out, and the Twins failed to score after loading the bases with no outs. In a different game, when you're actually facing a quality opponent, that kind of managerial blunder costs you games. And when you're in a tight division that has necessitated the playing of a 163rd game the last two seasons, one game makes the difference. Because Gardy got off the hook with this move, expect it to happen again -- and expect it to backfire big time.

Like most successful seasons, the Twins are winning in spite of Ron Gardenhire's best efforts to lose the game. We'll see if the Twins can complete the sweep on Sunday, with Nick Blackburn facing Twins nemesis Mark Buehrle.

Photos: (1) AP/Paul Beaty; (2) AP/Jim Mone

APRIL 8, 2010 -- MINNESOTA 10, LOS ANGELES 1

The Twins open a can of whoop-ass on the perenially-competitive Angels, taking three of four in the season-opening series. The surprising thing about the series was not that the Twins hit the cover off the ball for the majority of the four games, nor was it the somewhat-surprising fact that the starting pitching fared pretty well. What surprised me the most was how lackluster and imminently beatable the Angels looked. Their pitching is going to win them plenty of games, but their lineup has some major holes. Who knew losing Chone Figgins would hurt the ballclub this much? Torii Hunter anchors the lineup, and we all know too well what Hunter could do to a promising rally when he consistently failed in the clutch in a Twins uniform. Either way, the Twins looked impressive in this series on most sides of the diamond.

What was frustrating to see was the Twins' first inning performance against Angels starter Joel Pineiro. After Joe Mauer doubled Orlando Hudson to third base with one out in the first, Pineiro got Justin Morneau and Michael Cuddyer to strike out to end the threat. The Cuddyer at-bat is a given, as Cuddyer rarely delivers big hits in the clutch, but the Morneau strikeout is somewhat troubling. Usually, when you're facing premier teams such as the Angels, you need to drive in guys on third base with less than two outs in order to have a chance to win the game. You NEED to, no questions asked. What exacerbates the fact that the Twins failed at this rudimentary part of the game is the fact that one of their best players did it. Sure, if Nick Punto or Alexi Casilla or a pitcher gives three half-assed waves of the bat at terrible pitches in the same situation, we at least wouldn't be surprised. With a former MVP, however -- your clean-up hitter, mind you -- those situations MUST be productive. It's unacceptable for Justin Morneau to fail to get the run home there, and though the rest of the lineup bailed out Morneau, it's not going to be everyday that guys like Brendan Harris and Seldom Young hit home runs to provide the bulk of the scoring.

Jim Thome also homered for the Twins, and although that's a sight that Twins fans should be used to (the guy's hit fifty homers against the Twins, for crissakes), don't think that this will be a regular occurance when he plays for the Twins. Here's my bold prediction of the week: Jim Thome will end up with less than 100 at-bats for the Twins this season. I'm predicting that his line, at the time the Twins finally release Thome in mid-June, will read something like this: 89 at-bats, 19 hits, five home runs, and 33 strikeouts. Thome will be Tony Batista-esque in his short-lived stint with the Twins, and once it becomes apparent that he cannot deliver bloop hits to the opposite field (the hitting approach so prized by Ron Gardenhire and Joe Vavra), the team will jettison him in favor of the more versatile player in Matt Tolbert. Here's hoping I'm wrong, that Thome will hit so well that they bench Seldom Young and he ends up hitting 30 home runs -- sorry, but I see the former scenario much more likely.

Now the Twins are off to the South Side to face the White Sox. Tonight will be interesting, as Francisco Liriano takes the hill for the Twins. Ron Gardenhire would be wise to have a short leash on Liriano, not only in this game but also in terms of his status as a starting pitcher. After struggling so mightily with elementary things like command and mound presence, Liriano's career very much hangs in the ballots in the early season here. He opposes Chisox southpaw John Danks.

Photos: (1,2) AP/Francis Specker; (3) AP/Nam Y. Huh

OCTOBER 7, 2009 -- NEW YORK 7, MINNESOTA 2

Butt-kicking #1 goes pretty much as planned on Wednesday night, as Brian Duensing can't get out of the fifth inning before taking his team out of the game, and the offense can't provide that clutch hit when it needed it. This game was very much a return to a simpler time, namely May of this year, when the Yankees laid a four-game sweep at the hands of the Twins using the same formula. The Twins did get ten hits -- six of them in the first three innings -- but were 1 for 9 with runners in scoring position. One of their runs came on a passed ball, and the other due to a Michael Cuddyer single. And the Twins had a 2-0 lead in this game, but like so many contests against the Yankees, their lead was extremely short-lived. It lasted a whole three batters, as Douchebag surrendered a game-tying blast off the bat of Derek Jeter in the bottom of the third. Nick Swisher's double put the Yankees up for good in the fourth, and Hideki Matsui clocked a mammoth home run off Francisco Liriano (on the postseason roster for some reason) to put the game out of reach in the fifth.

One of the biggest plays in the game may have been in the top of the first inning, when Denard Span led the game off with a double off C.C. Sabathia. Orlando Cabrera failed in his opportunity to get Span over to third, but Span ended up on third due to a passed ball, but Joe Mauer struck out and Cuddyer flew out, giving the Yankees and everybody else watching a good idea of what was about to come. Frankly, nothing about the Twins' failing in the clutch was surprising when you know how Ron Gardenhire manages his teams against New York. As I've said before, with Gardenhire being absolutely owned by the Yankees, he's of the mindset that the Twins have to play a perfect ballgame when they play them. It's pins and needles baseball whenever the Twins face the Yanks, and that's a philosophy that probably loses more games than it would win them. Every failed opportunity is thus magnified, and momentum swings are that much more apparent. The same thing happened in the seventh inning, when the Twins were already down by four runs. They had runners on second and third with one out, but again, Span flew out weakly to the outfield, not nearly deep enough to score the run, and Cabrera struck out pathetically to end the threat. How were the Twins able to win 17 out of their last 21 ballgames? By getting clutch hitting, and that simply didn't show up on Wednesday night.

They were also driven to win the division by some pretty good starting pitching, and that, too, didn't appear to be the case with Brian Douchebag on the mound. Some people had been saying that, hey, the Yankees had never seen Duensing before, so maybe that's a good thing. What I'm struggling to understand is Ron Gardenhire's logic in starting Duensing. His regular turn in the rotation would have been last Saturday against the Royals, but Gardy pushed up both Nick Blackburn and Carl Pavano to start those two games, probably because he'd want his best pitchers to pitch in important ballgames. But then he lets Brian Duensing start the first game of the playoffs? This is a perfect example of the demented ideology that Ron Gardenhire has instilled on the team. It's more important for Gardy to win the division than to win something of real importance, say a World Series. Their goal every year is only to with the Central, and as we saw on Wednesday, the playoffs are simply "gravy" to Ron Gardenhire. That's why he couldn't care less if Duensing pitched or not -- hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Jeff Manship starts Game 3. How are games against Kansas City more important than playoff games against the Yankees? If it was up to me, I would have thrown Blackburn in Game 1 on three days' rest, and then countered with Pavano in Game 2. There's no excuse for Brian Duensing to be on the playoff roster, much less pitch the pivotal Game 1 in the playoffs. But, as we all know (and accept, which is the difficult part), mediocrity is just fine with us Minnesotans, and we're just happy to be in the playoffs. Except me -- I'd actually want to see us win a real title, and I won't accept anything less. Anything less is a tease, plain and simple.

Photos: AP/Julie Jacobson

OCTOBER 3, 2009 -- MINNESOTA TWINS 5, KANSAS CITY ROYALS 4

Good morning everyone. My name is Hank Rickenbacher. Unfortunately Howie is dealing with an emergency at the moment. Now don't get too worked up, everything will be just fine. But he could not watch yesterday's game, so he asked me, his neighbor for going on 22 strong years now, and also treasurer of the local social club we started together (Association of Recreational Cartographers, Apiarists, and Needlepoint Enthusiasts), to put up this internet blog today. Old Howie says I'm quite the carmudgeon but my dear wife Betsy likes to say it's just that every now and then I wake up on the long side of the bed, especially when it comes to my beloved Twins.

And what an interesting time to be a Twins fan. Yesterday they were going up against Zack Greinke, one of the best young pitchers in the division. (I've noticed a lot of young bucks are named Zack these days.) The Twins needed to win to put pressure on the Tigers, who were playing the dysfunctional White Sox later in the day. Things were looking bleak. But as Mickey Mantle once said, it isn't quite over unless the fat lady is singing. And the fat lady is quiet as a doornail today.

Nick Blackburn continues to emerge as the closest thing to a big-game pitcher (or player) the Twins have. If only he could be consistent all year we might have a true ace on our hands. He outdueled Greinke to the tune of four hits and two runs over seven. Of course after giving up a double in the eighth to Miguel Olivo, Gardenhire yanked Blackburn before the line drive even hit the carpet. Talk about knee jerk (though no one should ever give up doubles to Miguel Olivo).

Up until that point Blackburn had given up just a lone moon ball to somebody named Jacobs that is apparently Kansas City's cleanup hitter. The score was 4-1 thanks to a four-run sixth for the Twins, an inning which serves as devastating verification of the first rule of pitching in the major leagues: DO NOT WALK NICK PUNTO. Ever, ever, ever. I could practically hear snickers coming from the Twins dugout. Fast forward to two outs and Punto on third, and Mauer rips a screamer to right for a 1-0 lead. (I know this won't make me many friends, but it's about time Mauer got a clutch hit.) Even though the broadcasting geometry fanatic Bert Blyleven was sure this would be enough to win the game with the way Blackburn was throwing, Mauer's hit was only the tip of the icebox. With a bases-clearing double (an assist must go to Royals right fielder Teahen, who took a line as if he wanted to hug the center fielder instead of catch the ball), Delmon Young now has more RBIs in the last two games than in his entire Twins career. Now, I don't want to promote violence or anything, but the Twins may want to get an opposing pitcher to throw at Young again as in Detroit, as it seemed to wake him up from the 2-year nap that has been his Twins career.

The lead of course did not last as Mijares got back at his teammates for calling him out after Thursday's melee by promptly giving up a moon ball to the light hitting Alex Gordon, undoubtedly the longest ball that kid has ever hit, probably by double.

I had a bad feeling about where this game was going, but in the bottom of the eight Cuddyer hit a nice home run and the Twins won 5-4. Good win, but I don't think the Twins can count on Young to carry them for another game. Cabrera was the only other Twin with 2 hits, and while he's a nice player he isn't going to make anyone forget Zoilo Versalles any time soon.

So today is the last game at HHH Metrodome. And let me say good riddens. I for one have not been to a Twins game since they left the Met. I don't think Wilbur Doubleday intended for the national past time to be played indoors. Plus Humphrey was a yes man and soft on everything, and I don't know why we should name ballparks after him. I told Betsy I'd never go to the Metrodome as long as it was named after that hippie, and it looks like I made it. I'm looking forward to next year, or rather next June 20th, as that's about the only time the weather will make it worth going down to Target Field. Although with all the crime and drugs and littering in Minneapolis, I'm not sure I'll make it to the new ballpark either.

The Twins go for the sweep today. With the Tigers loss last night, the Twins just need to win to ensure a playoff on Tuesday. They are going to trot out Carl Pavano on three days rest, while the Royals will throw Luke Hochevar. Game time is 1:10. Thanks to Betsy for the help and to Howie for the chance to do this. Here's hoping the big guy will be back tomorrow.

Photos: (AP Photo/Jim Mone)

SEPTEMBER 25, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 9, KANSAS CITY 4

You know you're going good when you score four runs in an inning and get exactly one hit in that inning. That was precisely the case Friday night against the lowly Royals, and it led to the relatively easy 9-4 win against Kansas City. Orlando Cabrera had the lone hit of that fifth inning -- a single to right field -- and then the Twins took three consecutive walks with the bases loaded, just a sampling of the five free passes the Royals surrendered in that inning alone, and eight walks altogether on the evening. Considering that the Twins were facing that kind of talent, you damn well better win the ballgame, and with the Tigers losing to the hands of Jake Peavy and the White Sox, the gap is narrowed again to two games. Michael Cuddyer hit his thirtieth home run of the season (who woulda thunk it?) and Seldom Young added an inconsequential dinger in the ninth (who really woulda thunk that?) to help propel the offense, and Carl Pavano won his fourth game as a Twin, going six innings that would have been great had it not been for two Billy Butler home runs. It really doesn't matter how the Twins do it at this point in the season -- as long as there are wins, the improbable comeback can live for another day.

Saturday's game has a whole lot of importance attached to it, what with the fact that Zach Greinke, who has arguably been pitching better in the last month than he was in April and May (and that's really saying something), is pitching on Sunday afternoon. As long as the Twins don't completely lose it before they get to Detroit on Monday, they'll have a chance, and that's better than what they could have said just two weeks ago. Scott Baker has cooled off considerably since his 10-1 stretch that he compiled from June through August, and he's actually pitched pretty poorly as of late. He's the only Twins pitcher to lose a game since the 12th of September, and that was the finale of the Tiger series that may end up being the costliest loss of the year. Sure, his mound opponent is the retread Lenny DiNardo, the owner of some pretty ugly 2009 numbers and some pretty humdrum career marks, but the big key in Saturday's game is Baker. If the Twins lose, it's because Baker again lost all that mound presence that we all know he can show, and starts nitpicking with his pitches. Let's hope Baker hasn't lingered on Sunday's pathetic start and he can put up some zeroes for the Twins tonight.

Photos: (1) AP/Charlie Riedel; (2) AP/Paul Battaglia

SEPTEMBER 22, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 8, CHICAGO 6

The Twins outslug the White Sox on Tuesday, using four home runs to beat up on Jon Danks and the Pale Hose. Pitching wasn't great on either side of the diamond, as the Twins' Jeff Manship continued to confuse Twins fans as to why this guy is even in the big leagues to begin with, much less starting critical games down the stretch in a pennant race. Francisco Liriano couldn't pick up the trash, either, and it turned out that Jesse Crain, quickly becoming the vulture of the bullpen, actually got the win. The Twins spread out their offense again, using another good game from Michael Cuddyer, who seems to be either going 3 for 4 with a home run and multiple ribbies or he goes 0 for 4 with seven men left on base. Orlando Cabrera got the scoring started early with a two-run homer in the first, and even guys like Matt Tolbert got into the action by hitting a home run in the sixth inning. That's two career home runs for Tolbert, and they've both come at U.S. Cellular Field -- talk about a strange coincidence.

The Tigers won in Cleveland, however, dropping their magic number to ten games. Though the Twins certainly still have a shot at the division crown, it appears that this run of good baseball -- clearly the best they've played for any two weeks this entire season -- is a tragic case of too little, too late. Can you imagine where the Twins would be if Cuddyer could have played with the Superman cape on all season? Where would the Twins be if Nick Punto had merely flirted with .230 all season long instead of having to make a strong case for the worst all-around player in big league history? Or how about if the bullpen had even remotely shown the fans a smidgen of what they've seen lately -- namely, little of Bobby Keppel and R.A. Dickey, and a lot of Joe Nathan and Jose Mijares and a solid Matt Guerrier? A Seldom Young that didn't go 0 for 4 with three strikeouts on a daily basis, but one that can chip in a hit or two here or there? When you play a 162-game schedule, consistency is the name of the game in order to get into the playoffs, and frankly the Twins just haven't deserved to get into the playoffs based on their lack of consistency. But, for whatever it's worth, they are making the final few weeks of the season meaningful, and I know I'm not the only one that is glad that the Twins are making a late-season push for the playoffs. The major sports networks like ESPN are pleased as punch that the Twins are making it at least mildly interesting, because the rest of the league is mired in playoff-fever-immunity. So much for that "competitive balance," Mr. Selig, as it seems like the big spenders are getting their way this season, at the expense of the fans and any sort of September excitement.

Photos: AP/Charles Rex Arbogast

SEPTEMBER 19, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 6, DETROIT 2

The Twins are really going to be sorry that they are moving outdoors next year. Because they don't know how good they've got it at the Metrodome. Case in point Saturday afternoon, when a routine fly ball gets lost in the roof and pretty much wins the game for the Twins. If Orlando Cabrera's pop-up is hit in any other ballpark in the world, that's an easy out for outfielder Don Kelly, which makes it two out and a man on first in the bottom of the eighth inning. Instead, men were on second and third, and the entire dynamic of the inning shifted. Jason Kubel singled after the Tigers walked Joe Mauer intentionally, and the Twins led 3-2. That spelled the end of the day for Justin Verlander (who was certainly not showing signs of fatigue, pumping his 129th pitch of the day at about 98 miles an hour), and Michael Cuddyer chipped in sloppy seconds-style, crushing a three-run homer off Brandon Lyon for the insurance runs. Yeah, it's a win, but just about as cheesy as they get. It was kind of disappointing -- you just don't really know if the best team won on Saturday. I will say that I was surprised to see a rookie infielder-outfielder be put in the outfield for defensive purposes, someone (Kelly) who only had a few games of major league experience and little experience fielding flies at the Dome. Reminiscent of Ron Gardenhire's classic move of putting Jason Pridie in for defense in Toronto in his major league debut last season (a move that resulted in the Twins losing a winnable game because of Pridie, and by extension they lost the division because of that stroke of genius), Jim Leyland's ill-fated move may come back to haunt him big-time.

It was a great game to see as one's final trip to the Dome to see a Twins game. A classic pitchers duel between Carl Pavano and Verlander was clearly won by Verlander, as Pavano was wiggling out of trouble all game long. Pavano gave up a bundle of hits in his seven innings -- eleven to be exact -- but got the big outs when he needed them. Verlander was nothing short of dominant, and for his line to be what it ended up -- 7 and 1/3 innings, five earned runs -- is really a shame, because the Dome-double changed everything, and Lyon gave up two of those runs on the Cuddyer home run. It's clear that the Twins have the Tigers' number under the Teflon sky, and they'll go as far as exposing the weaknesses of the worst stadium in human history in order to solidify that dominance. But the Twins are the closest to first they've been in a long time, and more importantly they're four games above .500 (a season high) and have won six straight. They're getting hot at the right time, but unfortunately we still can't gauge whether they have the legs to stretch this hot streak for the remainder of the season. The Twins have had this disturbing pattern of playing really well for one week, and then playing like regurgitated Alpo the next. It was just one week ago that the Twins had just lost three straight to the likes of Brett Cecil and the Blue Jays and the last-place Oakland A's. The ten-game road trip will ultimately define the season, and even with a win today against the Tigers, the Twins don't have anything sealed up. Scott Baker pitches for the Twins today.

Photos: AP/Ann Heisenfelt

SEPTEMBER 18, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 3, DETROIT 0

Brian Duensing gets to retain his "maiden" last name at least for one more start, as he tosses shutout ball into the seventh inning, leading the Twins to a breezy 3-0 win against the suddenly reeling Tigers. Michael Cuddyer continued his run of brilliance -- easily it's the best he's ever hit the ball in the big leagues -- with a two-run home run off Rick Porcello in the fourth inning that turned out to be the only runs necessary for Duensing and the Twins. The lead has been cut to three games over Detroit, and it's quite evident that all the pressure is on the Tigers at this point in the season. Maybe the injuries to Justin Morneau and Joe Crede inadvertently helped the Twins, as the critics (myself included) pointed to those injuries as the last straw for the Twins to come back. But considering the number the Twins have on Detroit at home, I would frankly be surprised if the Twins don't sweep this weekend. The big test for the Twins is going to be the ten-game road trip following this weekend's series. All season long the Twins have been a different team on the road, and with their track record being what it is in Chicago and with the Royals being perennial September headaches for contending teams, the Twins might be in a world of trouble even before they head to Detroit for a pivotal four-game series at Comerica. Whatever the case is, the Twins need to focus on this weekend's games first, and take care of business in their own ballpark before they head out to Chicago.


Ron Gardenhire showed a stroke of sanity by proclaiming that Jose Morales is going to be playing more regularly as a designated hitter due to his hot bat. Morales is 9 for 20 since being recalled for like the fourth time this season, which has only increased his batting average more, to a lofty .368. This kind of move (one that involves logic and common sense) is nothing short of baffling when you realize who's making the move -- King of Illogicism himself, Mr. Ron Gardenhire. Though he's sure making up for his good decision to play Morales more by doing things like put Matt Tolbert in the everyday lineup again. Look, Brendan Harris isn't going to win a Gold Glove or a batting title any time soon, but jeez, Gardy. Matt Tolbert is a horrendous excuse for a ballplayer. He's like a weak punchline to an already bad comedic set-up; in other words, he's the baseball equivalent of Rush Hour 2. But Gardenhire is literally in love with Tolbert, like touchy-feely in love, apparently, because there's no reason for that sad-sack to be playing in any baseball game anywhere. If the Twins lose the division, a big reason is probably going to be Matt Tolbert. Count on that.


Justin Verlander is a Cy Young candidate again, but the Twins have seemed to always handle him, and he goes today against Carl Pavano. I'll have to pleasure of attending today's game, as it will be the last time (most likely) that I'll be able to catch a baseball game at the Dome. I can't wait!

Photos: (1) AP/Paul Battaglia; (2) http://girllovesbaseball.blogspot.com

SEPTEMBER 16, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 7, CLEVELAND 3

The Twins take care of business against the apparently-not-even-trying-at-this-point Cleveland Indians, who don't even put up much of a fight against the Twins on Wednesday. Michael Cuddyer continued his hot run in non-pressure at-bats, going 3 for 4, with most of those hits coming with the Twins already up by four runs. Even though I like to bash on Cuddyer, he has been hitting well of late, and especially with Justin Morneau and Joe Crede out for the year (most likely), they desperately need someone to step up. The biggest casualty of the Morneau injury, it would seem, would have to be Joe Mauer, as the pitches he sees aren't going to be as good with Cuddyer protecting him as they would be with Morneau hitting behind him. That simply hasn't been the case, as Mauer has raised his batting average an astounding ten points in five games, to the cool altitude of .374. Hitting .400 seems out of reach at this point in the season, but the fact remains that this guy is simply incredible. If only the Twins could put an entire team around him.

Nick Blackburn won just his second start since Ron Gardenhire's stupendous plan of resting a sinkerball pitcher for ten days straddling the All-Star break. He's not even close to the same pitcher that he was in June for the Twins, when he was the clear-cut ace of the staff, and he's even not as good as he was last year, when he started the one-game playoff for the Twins. Blackburn's been wildly inconsistent this season and of course he's going to be a big part of the Twins' final few weeks here in 2009. With the Tigers taking care of the Royals at home on Wednesday, the Twins' gap from first place is still four and a half games, and the Tigers play on Thursday while the Twins are idle. The Twins won't be able to completely catch Detroit this weekend, but consider the three-game series against the Tigers to be make-or-break for the Twins. Following the series the Twins head on the road for a 10-game road-trip that will likely officially end any hope of postseason play, but if the Twins can sweep the Tigers this weekend, they will have a chance. The problem is, the Tigers will be sending two of their top three studs to the hill this weekend, with Rick Porcello and Justin Verlander (and Jarrod Washburn, traditionally a Twin killer). If Brian Duensing wants to remain a Duensing on this site, he'll have to pitch his heart out on Friday; if not, I fear the dreaded Douchebag moniker may have to return to the MTRC.

Photos: (1) AP/Ann Heisenfelt; (2) AP & The Canadian Press/Frank Gunn

SEPTEMBER 14, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 6, CLEVELAND 3

Again the Twins sleepwalk through seven shutout innings against mediocre-at-best Jeremy Sowers, and it appeared as if the Twins were on their way, thanks to a late comeback win by the Tigers, to falling further behind Detroit. But then a funny thing happened on the way to third place: the Twins came back, picking themselves off the mat. A clutch three-run home run off the bat of Michael Cuddyer (no, really!) tied the game off reliever Chris Perez, and then the Twins used rinky-dinky cheeseball to take the lead. Matt Tolbert, playing in a "pennant race" for some reason, doinked a bloop double behind third base after Seldom Young had singled, and Young would score on a wild pitch/passed ball. Jason Kubel would launch a home run later in the at-bat, and the Twins' six-spot they put on the board in the eighth was enough to carry them past the pitiful Indians. It was nice to see the Twins win a game when their opponents' reliever put up a Matt Guerrier Special, but the biggest news of the night would come to the surface during the post-game interviews.


Justin Morneau's done for the season, as is Joe Crede's (most likely), as both players' backs have officially crapped out. Morneau, frankly, has been nothing short of terrible lately, but it goes without saying that this injury is potentially fatal for the Twins' chances of holding on to second place. Add Crede's injury, and that means a few things: one, it means more playing time for guys like Carlos Gomez and/or Seldom Young, and it means more playing time for Nick Punto and/or Matt Tolbert. Any way you cut it, the two injuries makes the Twins that much worse offensively. Especially when you have a manager who's willing to play guys like Matt Tolbert in "key games down the stretch," these injuries will force Ron Gardenhire to be creative, which is kind of like asking a kindergartener to go without cake at his birthday party. Lots of tears will ensue and it'll probably mean that you'll have to clean the drapes afterwards.


If the Twins want any shot at first place, they'll have to sweep the Tigers this weekend at the Dome, and if they really want that to happen, they're going to have to win these games against an inferior opponent in order to gain momentum. Scott Baker has been pitching lights-out as of late, and he faces Fausto Carmona, owner of some pretty ugly numbers who mowed down the Twins the last time he faced them.

Photos: (1) AP/Jim Mone; (2) AP/Ben Margot

SEPTEMBER 10, 2009 -- TORONTO 3, MINNESOTA 2

So the Royals do the unthinkable and sweep the Tiggers, and the Twins are able to gain one whopping game off their insurmountable lead because they lose two very winnable games against the lackluster Blue Jays. In a dastardly twist of fate, they actually win the game that they virtually should have no chance to win -- the game that Roy Halladay started. Continually the Twins have frustrated their fans by juxtaposing huge, seeming momentum-building wins with pathetic, effortless losses to the hands of Brett Cecil and company. On Thursday, the Twins get yet another solid start from Scott Baker, but the offense falls asleep against southpaw Cecil, and the Toronto bullpen slams the door on any potential comeback. Five and a half games back with twenty-two games left -- dare I say they need a 9-0 homestand to make things interesting?

The Twins offense sure had their chances, but they were crippled by a lack of two-out clutch hitting (what's new) and weren't helped by the fact that Nick Punto is absolutely dreadful at everything he does in life. Seriously, I'd be surprised if Punto can pee standing up, because everything he does on the baseball diamond is below Little League caliber. Case in point his bunting prowess, which the entire Rogers Centre crowd got to enjoy. In the seventh inning and the Twins down a run, Punto was asked to bunt pinch runner Matt Tolbert to second. Punto, of course, openly defied that command and failed to do the easiest thing in professional sports. He bunted the ball way too hard back to the pitcher, and Jeremy Accardo was easily able to throw out Tolbert at second base. Add Punto's standard failure to get the bunt down with Denard Span's failed sacrifice attempt earlier in the ballgame, and that made it two times that the "fundamentally sound" Twins failed to get down fundamental elements of the game. Especially if your whole team is hitting .237 for the month, you need to do the little things if you want to win these games. Like Michael Cuddyer -- don't ground into double plays just before Seldom Young hits a double! That damn well lost the game for you right there.

The vaunted combo of Blackburn (one win since Ron Gardenhire benched him for ten games straddling the All-Star Break) Manship (Triple-A level pitcher) and Douchebag (Triple-A level pitcher) will be on the hill this weekend whe the Twins face the A's. With Blackburn going tonight, here's hoping there's no redux of the Oakland Disaster.

SEPTEMBER 7, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 6, TORONTO 3

The Twins use a five-run first inning against Blue Jays starter Scott Richmond to coast to a relatively easy win for the Twins on Labor Day. No win, of course, comes easy to the Twins these days, but especially considering the fact that the Twins hadn't won in Canada since Brad Radke started a game, the Twins victory over the below-.500 Jays was certainly worth noting. After that first inning, the Twins' bats went to sleep as if they were still in Cleveland, but the damage was done, and six pitchers were able to fend off Toronto the rest of the way. One thing that I have learned from the 2009 Twins is that no lead is safe, so even after the five run first, we knew that that just wouldn't be enough for Jeff Manship and company. To give the pitching staff credit, they did buckle down when they needed to, inducing two pop-ups with runners on third and less than two outs. With the Tigers idle on the holiday, the Twins actually gained ground on first-place Detroit; however, with the Tigers in Kansas City ready to feast on the Royals and the Twins ready to struggle against Toronto like it's 2007 (especially with Roy Halladay in the rear-view mirror, coming off a one-hit shutout of the Yankees), don't expect the Twins to make any serious movement towards first-place anytime this week.

Michael Cuddyer and Justin Morneau both snapped their long hitless streaks with cheesy base hits in the first inning -- Morneau's was a seeing-eye fourteen-hopper through the right side, and Cuddyer's was a one-handed lob shot that doinked into center field. If the Twins want to retain their hold on second place, these two guys will have to pick up the slack, Morneau in particular. Cuddyer's garbage and we all know it; Morneau is the key in this equation. It might be that he's still feeling the ill effects of those dizzy spells he came down with in Texas a few weeks back, but it does appear that a late-season swoon has become commonplace for Morneau. Had Morneau had a better September last season (and in particular that last homestand where he simply didn't show up), the Twins would have made the postseason and he may have deservedly won another MVP title. Again, he picks the absolute worst time to go into an extended cold slump, and when Morneau's not hitting, that effects everyone in the lineup, most of all Joe Mauer. Cuddyer's a fifth wheel on the team who's best known for his "sloppy seconds" approach to run-production; namely, when the runs are to be had, Cuddyer's got no qualms about getting a little piece for himself. When the game's on the line, Cuddyer chokes more than a donkey with a small esophagus, and that's the extend of his "value."

Photos: AP & The Canadian Press/Darren Calabrese

SEPTEMBER 6, 2009 -- CLEVELAND 3, MINNESOTA 1

The nail-in-the-coffin road trip that I thought would really come to fruition in Toronto has blossomed a little premature with the Twins' second pathetic effort in three games against the second-division Indians. David Huff was a guy who the Twins just pummeled the first two times facing him, and on Sunday all the Twins were able to scratch across against Huff in seven innings were two measly base hits in the fifth inning. Add to the fact that Nick Blackburn gave up three back-breaking two-out hits, and that's a formula to lose a game in which you desperately need to win. It's not the formula that the Twins have used all that frequently in the second half -- they love to use the "three-inning, seven-run performance by a starter" formula, but the hallmark of a bad team is that they find different ways to lose. The Twins aren't simply one-track losers; they can scratch and claw their way to losses and, most importantly, be creative in their patheticness. Case in point Sunday, when they use a botched run-down to directly lead to the Cleveland insurance run. Michael Brantley had just knocked a two-out single to score the go-ahead run, and the throw to the infield was cut off, and Brantley was a dead duck between first and second. But, because of the Twins' ineptness, they fail to get Brantley out, mainly because Michael Cuddyer playing first base has no clue how to defend his position. Sure enough, Brantley would end up scoring on a base hit in the next at-bat. Though the extra run certainly wasn't needed considering the Twins offense on the road, it was yet another stroke of the hammer banging down on that coffin nail.

Contrast the Twins' sluggish performance on Sunday against a miserable opponent with the Tigers' character-building classic comeback against Tampa Bay. Down 3-1 with one out in the ninth, Brandon Inge hit a grand slam home run, leading the Tigers to a 5-3 win that extended their division lead to a comfy seven games. Though the Tigers' magic number is 20, that home run might have damn well clinched the division for Detroit. A three-game sweep on the road against the defending AL champs, in which all three games featured the Tigers scoring late runs to win the game, is proof positive that the Tigers are for real. Can you see the Twins having that impressive of a series on the road against a good team? The Twins can't even win two out of three against the Cleveland Indians -- facing the team with the second-worst team ERA in the league, the Twins scored a whopping seven runs in the entire series (it certainly doesn't help when your "stars" like Cuddyer and Justin Morneau are in extended slumps -- 0 for 16 for Cuddyer, 0 for 19 for Morneau). As I've said before, the lone drama that will unfold here in September is whether the Twins can hold on to second place. Before the season I predicted an 82-80 third-place season for the Twins, a prediction that resulted in sneers and derision and skepticism from overly optimistic fans who banked on the notion that 2008 wasn't an outrageous fluke. Though I hoped I was wrong, I just didn't see how certain players could duplicate their success in 2009 (guys like Casilla and Buscher and the entire starting staff). Unfortunately, it looks like my prediction has turned out to be precient, though I would like to see the team put it together here at the end and finish above .500.

Photos: AP/Tony Dejak

SEPTEMBER 4, 2009 -- CLEVELAND 5, MINNESOTA 2

The Twins follow up their most deflating loss of the season with perhaps their worst overall effort, losing pathetically to the Cleveland Indians, 5-2. The Twins were just plain sloppy in all aspects of the game on Friday, committing four errors in the field, receiving a mediocre-at-best start from the mediocre-at-best Carl Pavano, and again failing to hit anything of notable authority against Tribe starter Jeremy Sowers. Orlando Cabrera was quoted as saying that he thought the offense needed to pounce on Sowers, what with his 5+ ERA coming into the game; fortunately for Cabrera he didn't have to be on the team in the past, when they pretty much hit with their hands tied against Sowers. Scattering six hits against Sowers and that not-so-vaunted Cleveland bullpen is simply not going to be enough for you any day of the week, especially not one in which your defense doesn't show up and your pitchers don't make good pitches in key spots. Brendan Harris led the way with two errors at third base, all but solidifying his spot on the bench for Saturday's matinee in favor of the Fantastic Nick Punto. I, for one, really look forward to that. In fact, I'm steeped in anticipation.


The Twins certainly had chances at the plate to cut the deficit that Pavano put them in, notably in the fifth and sixth innings against Sowers. Alexi Casilla, back under the Mendoza line where he belongs, grounded into a rally-killing double play with runners on first and second in the fifth inning, and Michael Cuddyer continued his two-out, runners-in-scoring-position non-brilliance in the sixth inning, when he flew out measly to the outfield with two men on base and the Twins down by a run. Cuddyer's now batting .172 on the season in those situations, and if you expand those numbers, it becomes clear that this guy does all of his damage in low-pressure situations. With no one on base, Cuddyer does just fine -- .305 average, 18 home runs, .982 OPS. But he's a totally different player with guys on base, hitting a mere .236 with a .704 OPS. And you have to factor in the reality that Cuddyer really comes to play when the rout is on. He's best known for his eighth-inning three-run home runs that extend the Twins' lead to 13-3. Really crucial hits, you know. Back to Friday, the threats that the Twins mounted in those two innings was enough to prompt Eric Wedge to go to his bullpen, but the likes of Tony Sipp and Jose Veras and Kerry Wood would breeze through the Twins in the late innings, not allowing a hit for the final three innings.

Scott Baker goes for the Twins today against Justin Masterson. The last time Baker faced the Indians he shut them out on two hits, by far the best start by any Twin this season. Has anyone noticed that Baker's gone 10-1 since June started? That has certainly flown under the radar for me, and he'll have to continue that hot streak if the Twins want to stay in second place.

Photos: (1) AP/Mark Duncan; (2) http://www.citypages.com/

AUGUST 30, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 5, TEXAS 3

A perfect example of the Twins winning a game in spite of their manager, Ron Gardenhire, whose moves in the bottom of the eighth inning are head-scratching mystifiers if you ask this fan. To make matters worse, Dick Bremer pointed to "shrewd managing" as a reason why the Twins were able to come back against the Rangers; it's unfortunately paradoxical and counter-productive when one idiot heaps praise on a fellow idiot. Let's examine this half-inning to see how the Twins were shockingly able to come back: after Justin Morneau walked and Jason Kubel singled against C.J. Wilson, Michael Cuddyer came up to the plate with one goal in mind: to strike out. Some baseball people would have had Cuddyer bunt, but I'm fine with what happened. In those situations, Cuddyer has to strike out, because that is apparently what he's paid to do. No problem there. Then Brendan Harris singles to left to tie the game, and outfielder Nelson Cruz's error allows runners to move to second and third with one out. So far, so good for Ron Gardenhire -- he hasn't done jackshit, and the team has tied the game and is on the verge of taking the lead. Then he continues to do nothing, and inexplicably he lets Mike Redmond hit. Here's a guy who, if it weren't for Nick Punto and Alexi Casilla also being on the team, would be by far the worst hitter on your team, who hits the ball to the right side of the field because he can't catch up to anything at this point in his career and is perpetually behind the baseball. Gardenhire had some moves on the bench to make: Jose Morales, he of the Joe Mauer-esque batting average, Orlando Cabrera, and Seldom Young -- all three of those players are far superior hitters to Redmond. But Gardy goes with Redmond, who bounces it to first, and pinch-runner Carlos Gomez is only able to score because of a bad throw home. Gardenhire again lucks out, does nothing and gets the advantageous bounce to take the lead.

Now it's Nick Punto's turn, and Bremer lauded Gardenhire's ploy to bunt Punto here. As if everybody else in the building didn't also think that Punto just *might* bunt. Dude, have you seen Nick Punto swing the bat this season? It's kind of like watching Elaine Benes dance -- he's got these little kicks and herky-jerky movements that's very hard to watch most of the time. Yeah, like you're going to have Nick Punto try to swing away to get the run home. The bunt is a decent one, and Wilson's throw home was again errant, allowing the run to score, and Bremer takes that opportunity to praise both morons, Gardenhire and Punto, for teaming together to score another run. As if Gardy was done making moronic managerial moves; in the middle of the next at-bat, on a 1-1 pitch, Gardenhire pinch-runs Redmond at second base in favor of Orlando Cabrera? Whaaaaaat???!!! You'd pinch-run Redmond in the middle of an at-bat but you'd think that he could get the job done at the plate? What the hell are you thinking, Gardenhire? And to make matters worse, instead of putting Jose Morales behind the plate for the ninth, he loses his DH and has Mauer catch the ninth. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Master of Logic, Ron Gardenhire. Oh, and as a side note, the Twins are unable to extend their lead because Alexi Casilla, batting .198 and second in the lineup again, failed to get a two-out hit. Hmm. I wouldn't have expected that.

So Sunday's game was a perfect example of the Twins winning despite their manager's best efforts to lose ballgames. Not that this should be necessarily new to Twins fans, as Gardy has done this ever since he took over the managerial reins in 2002. Unfortunately for the Twins, Gardenhire's poor managing did constitute enough to lose the season for the Twins in 2008, and if they want to make the playoffs this year, it's going to be the players that are going to have to rise up and win in spite of Gardenhire's best Pete Rose imitations. By the way, the Tigers' dramatic 4-3 win against Tampa Bay again prevented the Twins from moving up on Detroit.

Photos: (1) AP/Tom Olmscheid; (2) Getty Images/G. Newman Lawrence

AUGUST 29, 2009 -- TEXAS 3, MINNESOTA 0

The Twins follow up a nice victory against the Rangers on Friday with a pitiful effort against Scott Feldman and company, as they aren't able to score a single run off the Texas pitching staff and lose 3-0. Yet again, the Twins can't buy a hit with runners in scoring position, as they revert back to their old selves and strike out with guys at third and one out, as was the case so often for most of the season. The two biggest threats that the Twins posed were in the fifth and sixth innings against Feldman; in the fifth, Alexi Casilla struck out with Brendan Harris on third and one out. As you've probably noticed, Casilla's name has been largely absent from this site for a while, mainly because he was hitting much better than he had earlier in the season (granted, it's only a small accomplishment to raise your batting average from the .160-range to .201), but for that kind of non-production, Casilla's once again persona non grata here at the MTRC. Jason Kubel popped up in the same situation an inning later, and Michael Cuddyer's strike out to end the inning (what? Michael Cuddyer striking out in a pressure situation? No, really?) was the final nail in the coffin for the Twins. They didn't get a guy on base over the final three innings, and went softly into the night against the competitive Rangers. Again, the Twins fail to move on the Tigers, whose loss earlier in the day opened the door for the Twins to gain ground.

Carl Pavano didn't pitch horribly, but he did go out there and get his team in a hole right away, giving up two quick runs in the first inning. When your offense decides to take the day off, and collect only four hits and zero hits with guys in scoring position, two runs is far too many runs to give up. It's yet another example of the Twins failing to click on one facet of the game. Desparate for some kind of consistency in their starting rotation, it's that much more frustrating when their pitching can keep them in ballgames but then see the team lose because their offense phoned in the effort. Sure, they're only 4 and 1/2 games out, but the team that "we've all been waiting for" still hasn't come out to play this season, and that team that came out of spring training is a lot different than the players that are taking the field right now for the Twins. Pavano might as well be their ace for the starts that he's put forth, Brian Douchebag has a role that's much too big for a team that fashions itself as a contender, and as of Sunday Jeff Manship is going to be starting the Wednesday afternoon tilt against the White Sox, thereby becoming the second pitcher to be making his major-league debut during the "pennant chase." The one thing it certainly doesn't breed is a whole lot of confidence.

AUGUST 26, 2009 -- BALTIMORE 5, MINNESOTA 1

Well, so much for that winning streak the Twins had. Nick Blackburn goes on the mound for the Twins and he puts forth a Blackburn-esque outing, giving up two quick runs in the first inning to put his team behind the eight-ball early. One of those runs, it should be noted, was unearned due to another Orlando Cabrera error, as he had one hell of a game -- 0 for 4 at the plate, his league-high 19th error of the season which directly cost the team a run, and he was ejected for childishly slamming his bat after getting called out on strikes in the eighth inning. Certifiable idiots Bremer and Blyleven were suprised at home plate umpire Todd Tischenor's quick hook of Cabrera, but the more I think about it, the more I love that ejection. As Blyleven said, most of the time players are fined but never ejected for displaying such a poor example of sportsmanship. Yeah -- like a $5,000 fine is really going to make them think twice about doing that again, as these players already make insane amounts of money. For the kids that watch the game, these players are role models, and you damn well should get ejected for acting like a 5-year old. That and the fact that Cabrera sucks anyway.

Cabrera's ejection had some interesting side effects, mostly due to Ron Gardenhire's stupidity. It can be argued that Ron Gardenhire lost Wednesday's game even before it started, as he put both Alexi Casilla and Nick Punto in the starting lineup. Now, let's remember that the Twins were on a five-game winning streak. Does anybody want to guess how many of those five games Nick Punto appeared in? That's right -- zero. Of course -- after all, we are talking about one of the worst players to ever play in the big leagues. It makes perfect sense that the Twins reel off their biggest winning streak of the year and Nick Punto wasn't around to f*** things up. So what does Ron Gardenhire do to "keep the train moving"? He changes things up. He benches Brendan Harris, who had been playing third base since Joe Crede's back crapped out finally last Friday, and plays Punto at third. The best part about that work of genius was that Wednesday was Harris' 29th birthday, for Pete's sake. Yeah, we all know how much you hate Brendan Harris, but you don't have to be a dick about it. And what's worse is that by the late innings, after Punto had put forth his 0-for-2-with-two-strikeouts "effort", Gardenhire had to replace him with Brendan Harris anyways, which came back to haunt him when Cabrera was thrown out of the game. Michael Cuddyer had to be placed at second base and Casilla was shifted to shortstop, all because Ron Gardenhire was insane enough to change the entire momentum of a winning streak and put Nick Punto in a ballgame.

The Twins get a day off on Thursday before they play the competitive Rangers on Friday. With both the Tigers and White Sox losing on Wednesday, the Twins remained tied for second place, 4 and 1/2 games behind Detroit. The Twins will have to play well, which likely means playing without Nick Punto in the starting lineup, to beat the Rangers this weekend and give them a little momentum heading into the Chicago series next week.

Photos: (1) AP/Paul Battaglia; (2) http://www.bleacherreport.com/

AUGUST 23, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 10, KANSAS CITY 3

Michael Cuddyer homers twice in the seventh inning, one of some import (the first being the tiebreaking shot to lead off the inning), and, like most of Cuddyer's production, the second being of the get-em-while-their-hot variety (offensive stats, namely). Carl Pavano did a nice job mowing down an easy Kansas City lineup, and yes, the Twins completed a three-game sweep of the lowly Royals. Sweeping this series did nothing to satisfy this fan's desire to want to know why and how on earth the Twins could drop two out of three to this team at home, mind you. Yet again, the Twins lucked out and didn't have to face Zach Greinke, and that's a godsend to this team that struggles to beat mediocre pitching, but the fact remains that the Twins have somehow lost five games this year to Kansas City. O, to think if the Twins didn't play in the Central Division...

The Tigers lost their final two games while in Oakland, so coupled with the Twins' sweep in Kansas City, the Twins are but 4 1/2 games behind Detroit for the division lead. Again, I don't feel as if the Twins have the team (and the pitching, to be precise) to pull off a thrilling comeback, and the team continues to frustrate and fluster its fan base by playing almost on a week-to-week fluxuation: one week they have things clicking, like they did most of the last week against Texas and Kansas City (without Justin Morneau to boot); the next, they'll take a breather and lose two home series to bottom-feeders like Kansas City and Cleveland. Consistency has consistently eluded this team, and there's no reason to believe that they will suddenly run like a well-oiled machine here in the last forty games. Good pitching always beats good hitting, and with the two teams ahead of the Twins in the standings having obvious advantages on the rubber, it's going to be increasingly hard for the Twins to come back. But I feel like I can say this until my face turns blue; yes, I would like the Twins to make the playoffs, I think it would be cool, sure. But it's a matter of saving face, and I for one don't like my chances of the Twins facing the Yankees in the first game of the playoffs with Carl Pavano being the "ace" of the Twins staff. That does not sound cool.

Photos: AP/Charlie Riedel