APRIL 12, 2010 - MINNESOTA 5, BOSTON 2

Hello folks, Hank Rickenbacher checking in. Well, my son Henry gave me and Betsy tickets to Opening Day as a birthday present, so yours truly was at the Target Field for yesterday's festivities. Before we get to the game, I thought you folks would like a "Rickenbacker Review" of the Target Field.Now let me just say, I don't know why the Twins ever left Met Stadium for a football stadium named after a hippie. What was wrong with the Met? And I remember all the hype about the Metrodome before that place opened, and look how that turned out. So when I heard all the hubbub about the Target Field after two practices, I thought, let's not put the horse before the apple cart here.

Well, I don't want to be a drain on the old parade here, but let's just say the Target Field isn't perfect. I mean, it's a nice looking park and all, and for all the tax money they spent on the place it better be. But after the drive Betsy and I were hungry enough to eat a pony, so we got in line at one of the concessions. Of course all the kids in front of us had to use their debit cards and the debit card machine wasn't working, so we waited thirty minutes just to order. What happened to good old fashioned green backs? Anyway I ordered a hot dog and they said they didn't have any hot dogs at that stand. You could've rolled me over with a feather. A baseball game, and I couldn't get a hot dog. Betsy, bless her heart, ordered us cheeseburgers, but they tried to charge us nineteen dollars for the two of them. Like heck I was paying that for two cheeseburgers, so we just left and found our seats.

Of course we had to get the seats in front of the four loudmouth Boston kids who watched about three pitches of the game total and babbled on and on with those mobile phones instead. Betsy said if I let them get to me, they'd win. Well I'm no loser, but let me just say I don't want to talk about those Boston kids anymore. Except that those punks could have used about five bars of Lifeway to clean out those mouths, good Lord, and I let 'em know it too.

Well after all that there was still a game to be played, and that’s why I made the trip down for my first game since 1981, because I have high hopes about this team. And I’ll say it was a good game for this Twins fan. Pavano pitched 6 strong innings, outdueling the Lester kid from Boston. I for one was not impressed with this “Lesser” fellow. He started his outing with a walk, and after hits by Hudson, Cuddyer, and Kubel he was down 2-0. Later, Punto turned his monthly hit into a run, and a lucky hop off the bag on a patented Mauer grounder led to another run. In the 7th Kubel hit the first moon ball in the Target Field and even landed one section from me and Betsy.

The Twinkies showed some swagger Monday which was refreshing since they usually play frightened against the Big Boys. They smacked the ball around, came inside with some pitches (though with the feminine way that Youklis kid holds the bat, I’d throw at him too), and generally acted like they were the better team. Gardenhire tested the limits of cockiness when he trotted out Brad Duensing for the 7th and then to start the 8th too! If that kid gets you three 7th inning outs against the Red Sox, you thank your lucky stripes and have a good chuckle about it later. You don’t tempt fate by sending him out there again! Thankfully the joke ended with a screaming double from one of the Beantowners, and from there it was Guerrier and Rausch to close things out.

All and all, a decent visit to the new park. I suppose I would go back, but I’ll plan on having Betsy pack some ground ham sandwiches for us, because nineteen dollars for two cheeseburgers is criminal. The Twins are back at it Wednesday at noon, Slowey vs. Lackey. Hammering Hank, signing off.

Photos: (1) & (2) - AP/Ann Heisenfelt; (3) AP/Paul Battaglia

APRIL 6, 2010 -- MINNESOTA 5, LOS ANGELES 3

The Twins ride the power of three home runs and, after a shaky start, Nick Blackburn settled down and pitched into the seventh inning, notching the first victory of the season for the Twins. Three first-inning runs proved to be the difference in the ballgame, as Joe Mauer's two-run home run provided the spark the Twins needed, and Justin Morneau and J. J. Hardy also hit their first home runs of the season. With Ron Gardenhire forced to leave the ballgame because of "flu-like symptoms," one of the drones had to fill in, in this case Scott Ullger, who proceeded to make the same ticky-tacky managerial moves that has come to be expected from The Brain. A computer could very well manage this ballclub, as Gardenhire has become merely mechanical in his in-game management.

Brian Douchebag got a key out in the seventh, making fans across the upper Midwest wonder why Brian Douchebag is asked to get key outs in the seventh inning. Matt Guerrier pitched a clean eighth which prompted Dick Bremer to personally induct Guerrier into the Hall of Fame, and Jon Rauch mowed down the Angels in the ninth, the first of many saves Rauch will pick up that Joe Nathan couldn't have done any better. As I've said before, the closer's job is perhaps the most overrated role in all of professional sports, and actually (don't jump out of your chair or anything) the Twins might be better off without Nathan in the ninth, for the simple reason that Ron Gardenhire classically underused Nathan. Maybe Gardy will be more apt to go to Rauch in the eighth inning, something that was anathema when Nathan was healthy. Gardenhire constantly babied Nathan and, as a result, lost more games in the eighth inning because he refused to put his best pitcher in the game. If anything, Rauch is a more durable reliever, and he could go for a two-inning save with relative ease. Of course, that won't happen with Ron Gardenhire managing this group or any group for that matter. When you struggled to play baseball successfully, as Gardenhire's brief playing career indicates, your talent appraising skills aren't the best, and real talent is something to be feared. How else do you explain the consistent benefit of the doubt given to slugs like Nick Punto and Matt Guerrier? Anyways, Rauch is guaranteed to get 30 saves. With any luck and a good offense that will provide Rauch many save opportunities, he could get 60 saves. That's why the closer's position is so overrated. Frankie Rodriguez had a terrible season with the Mets last year after setting the record for saves in 2008 -- a worse team and a lack of luck cut Rodriguez's saves in half in one season's time.

Carl Pavano toes the rubber tonight for the Twins, and like Blackburn, Pavano's a guy to keep your eye on. His stuff is eminently hittable, and he wasn't all that good last season with the Twins (don't believe what Dick Bremer will tell you -- Pavano was average at best after joining the ballclub). In an interesting irony, Pavano is currently on track to pitch the home opener, which means that he would have started the final game in Metrodome history and the first game in Target Field history. If that happens, that'd be a nice factoid for uncles to spring on unsuspecting nephews for Christmas gatherings aplenty in the future.

Photos: (1) AP/Jae C. Hong; (2) AP/Ann Heisenfelt

Opening Day Roster Announced

Ron Gardenhire made a couple of noteworthy announcements over the past few days regarding the 2010 roster. First, he announced that Nick Punto will be his regular third baseman, ending speculation that Brendan Harris would platoon with Punto at the hot corner. This, of course, is a potentially disastrous move that could end up costing the Twins valuable runs and, hence, victories down the road. One failproof tenet that people should learn here at the MTRC is that Nick Punto will do everything in his power to lose baseball games for the Twins. Punto defenders are usually quick to point out his defensive prowess, but Punto's glove can betray him just as easily as his bat always does. Of course, Brendan Harris is far from a viable upgrade at third, but in comparison to his competition, Harris suddenly looks like Brooks Robinson next to Punto. Alas, Harris will ride the pine for the time being. Most clubs (well-managed ones, at least) would confront the situation by at the very least giving one player the job on a earn-your-keep basis; if you're not producing, you're going to be replaced. Yet, Ron Gardenhire has been through a five-year trial period with Punto and has loved what he has seen (i.e., .210 production at the plate and an average glove). So even if Punto goes out there and hits a buck-forty with ten errors through April, he's likely to keep his job until he gets injured or retires or dies. In many ways, he's like a Supreme Court justice -- job security is a given for a guy like Punto on a Ron Gardenhire-run team.

Secondly, Gardenhire has given the closer's job to Jon Rauch instead of a closer-by-committee approach that he hinted at last week. As a closer, Rauch reeks of a Ron Davis type, one that blows saves in epic fashion. Like Davis was, Rauch is a more than serviceable bullpen asset in a set-up role; replace Davis' Coke-bottle eyeglasses with Rauch's one-of-a-kind neck tattoo, and the similarities continue. At least Rauch isn't Matt Guerrier, but the chances that Ron Gardenhire would prefer losing games in the ninth inning with Guerrier were slim anyways; Gardenhire has proven that Guerrier is a much better pitcher to plug in there when Gardy is in the mood for blowing eighth-inning leads. Consistency in stupidity is a motto that Ron Gardenhire has always employed, and with the roster already undergoing a major change (Nathan's injury), Gardy was certainly hesistant to continue to shake up an already crappy bullpen. In a mild surprise, Pat Neshek made the club out of spring training, but his effectiveness will be questionable considering he's coming off a lengthy rehabilitation from Tommy John surgery and his mechanics leave something to be desired in the first place. Guys like Jose Mijares and Clay Condrey and Brian Douchebag will be "relied" upon to get late-inning outs, too. In short, the bullpen will again be a headache in 2010, and their troubles are exacerbated with the glaring absence of the lone consistent arm, Joe Nathan.

Gardenhire's love-fest with Alexi Casilla will continue for at least the beginning of this season. This move to have Casilla occupy the final roster spot is supremely confounding, but the other options -- Matt Tolbert, Jacque Jones, et al. -- barely sound better. The thing that is so frustrating is that Casilla has done absolutely nothing to deserve winning the spot. He was atrocious in all three of his call-ups last season, played pathetically in winter ball and his average was hovering in the .150 range during spring training. Add to the fact that Drew Butera won the job as Joe Mauer's backup catcher -- not Jose Morales, not Wilson Ramos, who perhaps deserved the job based on spring training performance -- and Gardenhire's final roster spots are a confusing mess. But hey, it's not like we're surprised at this sort of tomfoolery. Leave it up to Ron Gardenhire to turn simple talent appraisal into an unfunny joke.

Look for complete 2010 predictions Sunday.

MTRC Relaunch...We're Back in Business, People.

After a lengthy hiatus, I'm proud to announce that the Minnesota Twins Re-Education Center is going to be a go for the 2010 season! Like many nowadays, the MTRC was not immune to the tough economic times besetting the country currently, but thankfully a few of my most loyal supporters came through in a big way to provide the funding to maintain this site. So, to Donna, Terry, Hank, and Betsy, a big THANK YOU is graciously extended. As many of you know, the apiary business has not turned out to be an adequate source of part-time cash, and even with my Roth IRA not totally tanking, I needed to tend to the more important things over the winter; hence, the MTRC essentially shut down for a few months. But those four wonderful folks mentioned above wanted to see the MTRC return for this season and paid for that privilege. Our mission statement for 2010: Bigger and better this year. Hank Rickenbacher, who many of you voiced positive responses following his guest gig at the end of last year, has agreed to step into an elevated role for this season. You'll still be mostly hearing from me, but Hank will be featured here on something like a weekly/bi-weekly basis. I, for one, am excited to welcome Hank to the full-time staff here. Like hell I'd ask Mr. Rogers to be my neighbor -- I'm blessed to have Hank and his lovely wife Betsy (who makes the meanest oatmeal-raisin cookies, by the way) live so close by.

Now to get to the stuff you're hear to read about...

A secondary reason that I was resistant to relaunching the blog for the 2010 season was that I thought the Twins weren't going to be as underachieving (and, hence, having the potential for a hilariously pessimistic blog) as last season. They made some good moves in the offseason -- great moves if you count who won't be on the 2010 roster ([cough] Carlos Gomez [cough]). The middle of the field is greatly strengthened for 2010 -- J.J. Hardy provides a much-needed offensive spark at shortstop, and Orlando Hudson was almost too shrewd a move for the front-office to make; you'd think they'd prefer having Matt Tolbert sucking up scoring opportunities in the 2 hole like it's nobody's business. Add Denard Span playing center field full time (like he should have been for the past two seasons) and a locked-up Joe Mauer -- that's a potent combination down the middle. The Twins' other "significant" moves over the offseason were pretty humdrum -- the Jim Thome signing still confuses me, as I don't see him getting all that many at-bats, but at least he'll be a home run threat off the bench, and Clay Condrey might as well be a Matt Guerrier in disguise. At least Condrey's presence will give Ron Gardenhire one more serviceable option to blow leads in the seventh and eighth innings.


That's a good segue to the biggest news for the Twins since they opened spring training in Fort Myers, the Joe Nathan situation. Nathan's done for the 2010 season, about to undergo Tommy John surgery, seemingly dealing a devastating blow for the Twins in the bullpen. Sure, Nathan's a great closer -- right up there with Mariano Rivera in my book in terms of the best closers in the game. But we're talking about a closer here for crissakes -- someone who pitches one inning a game maybe three times a week. As lights out as Nathan can be, let me say it here -- he is replaceable. For any other team in the league and any other manager, Nathan's absence can be overcome through a little roster tinkering and a little inspiration and coddling by the coaching staff. But we're talking about the Tweedledee-Tweedledum regime of Ron Gardenhire and Rick Anderson here. Here's a pair of clowns who didn't know how to manage a pitching staff with a healthy Joe Nathan. Now that you take the all-star stopper out of the mix, I'd just as soon suspect Ron Gardenhire is going to dictate his relievers' appearances by drawing names out of a hat.

What the Twins should be doing right about now is exploring outside options. It can be a blessing that Nathan's injury occurred before the season, as it could give them some time to address the issue before the games counted for real. But let's be honest -- Bill Smith already went over budget when he signed Hudson for $3.5 million, and then he signed Mauer for his deserved extension. Do you think Smith is ready to pony up another few million to add a Heath Bell (the best choice) or a Kerry Wood (a distant #2 option)? Doubtful at best. Most likely the Twins will turn to in-house options [gulp] Jon Rauch, Matt Guerrier, and the like. Francisco Liriano's name has been bandied about in regards to the closer's job, and I for one would welcome Liriano in that capacity if they are going to go with an in-house replacement. He probably doesn't have the meddle to handle the stress that comes with the job, but Liriano usually unravels after two or three innings in his starts -- meaning that his first inning or two is usually solid. That being said, he's probably a LaTroy Hawkins in the making, and I doubt that Ron Gardenhire would want to throw Liriano in that position to start the season, even if he was their best candidate (Gardenhire, of course, struggles making talent-based decisions [see Punto, Nick]).

Either way you think about it, the closer's job is definitely replaceable. Even a pitcher with a solid 3.00 ERA is going to give up a run every three innings, and you just hope that that run is surrendered when the team is up by more than one run. And it's not like Joe Nathan was rock solid all the time -- his playoff record is, well, checkered at best (see the 2004 and 2009 playoffs against the Yankees), and his blown saves down the stretch in 2008 were a major reason the team didn't qualify for the postseason that season. A big loss, for sure, but one that can be overcome.

Photos: (1) www.babble.com/; (2, 4) AP/Steven Senne; (3) www.fullcountpitch.com

SEPTEMBER 29, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 3-5, DETROIT 2-6

The Twins and Tigers split the twinbill that was prompted by Monday's rain showers, and unfortunately the Twins open play on Wednesday in exactly the same position that they did on Tuesday. Frankly the Twins were lucky to get a split, as they nearly lost the first game all by themselves (namely Mr. Nick Punto). It's ironic that the play from guys like Tolbert and Punto have not been May-esque, i.e. they haven't been losing games consistently like they've done most of the season (or their careers for that matter). What's worse is that this two week stretch of decent play from these guys has made Ron Gardenhire believe that they can be trusted in huge situations. When the season's on the line, Nick Punto will show his true colors, and that wasn't more evident in the ninth inning of the first game, when his suicide squeeze turned out to be one of the most pathetic "ploys" by a "contending" team I've ever seen. It failed miserably for Gardy and company, and if not for a great catch by Denard Span in the bottom of the ninth, the Twins wouldn't have had the opportunity to win it in extra frames.

And then the nightcap, where Brian Duensing reverted back to his Douchebag status, at least for 4 and 2/3 innings, when he graciously put the team in a 5-0 hole. The Twins clawed back, getting back to 5-4 against Tigers ace Justin Verlander, but still could not afford the big hit in the big situation. Jim Leyland, to his credit, kept his ace pitcher in for the pressure situations. For the second time this month, he let Verlander pitch into the eighth inning against the Twins when his pitch count was over 120, something that Ron Gardenhire would probably have a heart attack just thinking about. Verlander got the strikeouts in the clutch situations, and certainly deserved to win. The game was still within reach, however, until Matty Guerrier came in to "hold the fort" down in the eighth, and he gave up that oh-so-important insurance run compliments of a Curtis Granderson home run. Sure enough, the Twins rally to get one run in the top of the ninth (ironically, on a fly ball Granderson misplayed for a double). Guerrier hasn't pitched much of late and the least he can do is get three guys out to protect a one-run deficit. But we all know that Guerrier late in the season loves to suck, so this was a fitting performance from a terrible reliever.

I'm not willing to forget that ninth inning quickly, either, when Ron Gardenhire, in his infinite wisdom, allowed Tolbert and Punto to hit for themselves against Tiger closer Fernando Rodney. Punto was up there and his fly ball to Granderson was nothing more than a medium-deep drive to center that Granderson misplayed. In other words, Gardenhire was willing to end the game with Nick Punto at the plate. Yeah, both players have been playing better and they're no longer flirting with the Mendoza Line. But the fact remains is that both players are still pathetic excuses for a major league baseball player. Tolbert's hitting a paltry .223, and Punto's .232 average is certainly peckish. You've got guys on the bench that, while they're not all that great (Buscher and Harris come to mind immediately), they're not in the league of futility that those to "ballplayers" belong in. But if you ask Ron Gardenhire, I guarantee he'll tell you that a major reason the Twins have gotten back in the race is because of Punto and Tolbert hitting "like they're capable of." This is who we're dealing with, people. A man who has faith in Nick Punto.

The Twins get to face the Tigers' version of Douchebag (or would it be Manship?) in Eddie Bonine tonight, but let's not forget that Bonine took a no-hitter into the sixth inning in his last start against the White Sox before finally giving up a few runs. Carl Pavano's been great against the Tigers this year, and expect Dick Bremer to mention that about fifteen times before 6:30. For all intents and purposes, the Twins need to win the last two games to have a realistic shot at the division. Something tells me that this has all been one big tease.
Photos: (1) AP/Paul Sancya; (2,3) AP/Duane Burleson

AUGUST 28, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 3, TEXAS 2

The three runs that the Twins score off Ranger starter Tommy Hunter is just barely enough to beat Texas, as Brian Douchebag puts forth his first solid start as a major leaguer. To give Douchebag props, he went out there and shut down a potent Rangers offense, limiting them to three hits over seven innings. Of course, shutting down potent offenses over seven innings and 96 pitches is just too much to ask, so Matty Guerrier was on the hill for the eighth inning, and if not for Joe Mauer throwing out potential base stealer Elvis Andrus, Guerrier would have surrendered a run, and David Murphy's blast off Joe Nathan in the ninth came about five feet from clearing the baggie. By the hair on their chinny-chin-chin, the Twins squeek one out at home, but again fail to move on the Tigers, as they handily defeat the Rays at home. The Twins do move into second place due to the White Sox losing to the Yankees, but as long as the Tigers continue to win, they're going to be hard to catch coming down the stretch.

The Twins did some roster maneuvering on Friday, acquiring both Jon Rauch from Arizona and Ron Mahay from Kansas City to "bolster" their bullpen. The Rauch acquisition I actually like, as the Twins will likely retain Rauch for next season at a modest price (around $3 million). The tallest player to ever play in the big leagues, the 6-11 Rauch could also potentially be a boon for the Timberwolves, as their GM has been so anti-Bill Smith this offseason (i.e., making moves) that I couldn't name you two players on that team right now. Mahay, on the other hand, is the classic Twins move. He's had a terrible season with the Royals this season; a 4.79 ERA for a left-handed one out guy ("LOOGY," as they're referred to in some circles) isn't that impressive, and he's given up a whopping 55 hits in 41 innings, including nine home runs. It's funny that Craig Breslow, who the Twins shipped out in May, has benefited from the change of scenery in Oakland and has had a pretty good run with the A's; Mahay's acquisition is such that he basically becomes a lesser Breslow, and in no way does his presence in that bullpen do anything to improve the ballclub. Sure, he may alleviate the pressure and stress on Jose Mijares' arm, but if the guy can't get batters out, it doesn't really matter. Yet, the Twins acquisition that I disliked the most was the one that flew completely under the radar, and that was the Twins sending Yohan Pino, their best starter in Rochester, to the Indians to complete the Carl Pavano deal. Remember that I had said that Pino was more deserving of the call-up than Armando Gabino was, and now the Twins have dispatched Pino for the two months that they'll get from Pavano. You'd like to think that the Twins got Rauch for next to nothing, as a "player to be named later" was sent to the D-Backs; but, knowing Bill Smith, that player to be named later just might as well be Danny Valencia or Anthony Slama.

Joe Crede finally went on the disabled list (for the first time this season, amazingly) and Jose Morales was dutifully called up from Triple-A. Crede's injury likely means more playing time for Nick Punto, and we all know how great that is. And with the rosters expanding in September, the suddenly new-look Twins are about to get a new batch of fresh faces to join them for the "pennant chase." Remember what Ron Gardenhire did last season when he put those minor-leaguers in key spots down the stretch -- he damn well lost the season because he put Jason Pridie (in his major league debut) in for defense in Toronto and Pridie ended up committing a costly error which cost the team the game (and, by extension, the season). So what green rookie is Ron Gardenhire planning on ruining the season with this September?

Photos: (1) AP/Andy King; (2) AP/Ben Margot

AUGUST 22, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 8, KANSAS CITY 7

Two wins in a row against the pitiful Royals, and with the Tigers losing at Oakland, the Twins are "back in the thick of things," as certifiable idiot Dick Bremer would say. They're still three games below .500, mind you, and the Royals haven't been playing like a major league team in the last three months. Saturday's game was an example of a game that if the Twins needed to pitch one more inning, the Royals were likely going to finally overtake them. Brian Douchebag pitched the game of his life, which at this point in his career is just five innings and two earned runs. Because of the short start, the Twins had to rely on their bullpen, and what's worse was that Joe Nathan's 53-pitch outing on Friday apparently made him unavailable on Saturday, making Matt Guerrier the de facto closer [Gulp]. Ron Coomer, filling in for Bert Blyleven on color this weekend, was quoted as saying that this series is something like make or break, the most important series of the year and they desperately can't lose games like this. If that's the case (and it is, unless you want to fall further back in the division), you need to have Joe Nathan on the mound in the bottom of the ninth inning. Frankly I don't care if Nathan had to throw 120 pitches on Friday, if these games mean that much, you've got to have your best players in the spots that they are asked to deliver in. What's the worst that could happen, Gardenhire? You're banking on one good inning from Joe Nathan -- 15-20 pitches at most. Who in their right mind wouldn't be able to throw that many pitches, no matter how many they threw the night previous. Considering Nathan's classic "brush-off" of the push-over Gardenhire the night before, I thought that perhaps Nathan could easily talk his way back into the game. But alas, Matty Guerrier got the save, nearly giving up the tie in the eighth and giving back the insurance run the Twins cheaply got in the top of the ninth to win by the narrowest of margins.

After Douchebag left after the fifth, the Twins had to seriously patch it up until Stopper Guerrier came in in the eighth. Bobby Keppel and Jesse Crain helped get the Royals back in the game in the sixth and seventh innings, each surrendering two runs in their less-than-one-inning performance. Both of these slugs have proven that they simply cannot get major league batters out, but I have a sneak feeling that the front office will bring both of these guys back for 2010. Hell, considering the pay hike that Billy Smith gave Nick Punto last offseason, Keppel's 5.55 ERA may be due for a raise. That the Twins were even able to win this game was a testament to how truly bad the Royals are. The three runs that the Twins got in the top of the sixth were mainly due to Joe Mauer reaching first on a wild pitch on strike three, and Michael Cuddyer's pop-up in a clutch situation in the ninth (Cuddyer popping up in the clutch? No, really???!!!) needed to be caught, and that turned out to be the difference in the game. But the seventh inning was a classic, as the Royals loaded the bases with nobody out against Jesse Crain. Jose Mijares inherited that mess and promptly gave up a single to cut the lead to 7-5. After a key Cuddyeresque pop-up by Mitch Maier for the first out, the madness ensued. Yuniesky Betancourt hit a can of corn to center field, and Carlos Gomez dropped the ball, and instead of getting the easy force play right in front of him at second, threw to third to get the out there instead. To cap it off, Josh Anderson lined a ball to left, and Seldom Young, instead of retreating back on the ball, did a standing leap and barely caught the ball. It was literally one of the funniest things I'd ever seen; I laughed for a solid minute after seeing that patheticness.

The Twins go for the sweep on Sunday, with Carl Pavano making the start for the Twins. Anthony Swarzak, by the way, was finally outrighted back to Triple-A, and some guy named Armando Gabino was called up. Not sure whether this Gabino is going to get a shot at the starting staff, but whatever his role is, there are two things that are important with this transaction: 1) Swarzak's back in the minors, where he belongs, and 2) even the thought of a guy like Gabino making critical starts down the stretch for a "contending" team should tell everyone that the team has zero chance of getting to the playoffs. But hey, anybody's a step up from Swarzak, who in his last four or five starts was serving more meatballs than Olive Garden.

Photos: AP/Charlie Riedel

AUGUST 17, 2009 -- TEXAS 8, MINNESOTA 5

Yet another bad start for Francisco Liriano, and after the game Ron Gardenhire announced that the young southpaw would be placed on the disabled list for a "tired arm," or technically speaking, "suck-itis," which is a disease that has plagued the pitching staff all season long. It doesn't seem like there's any real reason for Liriano to be put on the DL; if anything it may be better for his morale than if the team rightfully sent him back down to Triple-A. My guess is that the Twins are just going to shut Liriano down for the rest of the season and figure out a gameplan for how to use Liriano in 2010 -- either in the starting staff or in the bullpen. In any case, Phil Humber returns from Triple-A, in yet another example of the Twins calling up less deserving guys from Triple-A. Slama and Delaney continue to toil in the minors, and even Juan Morillo, who looked awful in a cup of coffee early in the season, has apparently righted the ship in Rochester and throws absolute gas. But Humber it is; apparently they tried to call up Kevin Mulvey but his phone went straight to voicemail and it's pointless to leave a message at that point because you know they aren't going to get the message for at least a day.


Liriano's line was a gaudy one on Monday: two innings pitched, seven hits, seven runs, two walks, a hit batter, and one strikeout. And this was after he was given a brief lead by Joe Mauer's 23rd homer of the year in the first inning. Mauer, by the way, was the only hitter it seemed that wasn't catatonic, as he collected almost half the Twins' hits (3 of their seven) and pushed his average to .380. For the third straight game, Ron Gardenhire was forced to exhaust his bullpen early, and this time Bobby Keppel came in and did a pretty good job in relief, throwing 3 1/3 shutout innings to provide a little bit of relief and allowing the Twins to get back in the game. Then Gardy had to use Jose Mijares and Matty Guerrier earlier than usual, in the fifth, sixth, and seventh innings; aside from the expected Matt Guerrier insurance run that he surrendered, those innings went fine. Then Ron Gardenhire did a very strange thing: he put in Brian Douchebag, who he had announced would (graciously) start for Anthony Swarzak on Thursday, on the mound for the eighth inning. What??? After the game, of course, Ron Gardenhire told the press that Swarzak would make the start after all because he felt forced (apparently) to use Douchebag in the eighth inning when guys like Jeff Manship, a converted starter who's thrown exactly 2 1/3 innings since being called up last week, were more than available to pitch. This was the second straight game where Ron Gardenhire made some curious moves with his pitching staff (sending in Jesse Crain in the third inning on Sunday, when the team is glutted with long relievers) and it's further proof that this man is purely bat-shit insane.


One piece of good news that did occur for the Twins on Monday was their signing of first-round pick Kyle Gibson. In classic Twins fashion, the deal went right down to the deadline, as the two sides agreed to terms about ten minutes before the midnight deadline. Gibson's a college pitcher, and this is an organization that's suddenly pitching thin, so Gibson's signing, though his impact at the major league level is a few years away at the least, is good news for the club. Hell, the Twins need to fill Liriano's spot in the rotation on Saturday -- I wonder what Gibson's up to that day? It can't be any worse than the prospect of seeing Douchebag or Phil Humber out there. And it keeps getting funnier (but sad at the same time) to hear Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven still believe that the Twins can make a run. Take a look at their starting rotation -- how on earth can teams even ponder the idea of postseason baseball when Thursday's starter comes into the eighth inning on Monday and Saturday's starter is potentially flying in from Triple-A? The acquisitions of Orlando Cabrera and Carl Pavano (Tuesday's starter) continue to be dwarfed by their divisional rivals -- the White Sox will try to plug their fifth-starter spot in the rotation by Freddy Garcia, and more importantly the Tigers addressed their biggest weakness (the lineup) by getting Aubrey Huff from Baltimore for virtually nothing (a Single-A reliever). Huff's 73 ribbies will fit in nicely in that order and make Detroit that much better come playoff time. But, hey, keep us informed on that "three-team" divisional race in the Central, Dick.

Photos: (1,2) AP/Tony Gutierrez; (3) University of Missouri Media Relations

JULY 23, 2009 -- LOS ANGELES 6, MINNESOTA 5 (10 innings)

The bullpen does it again, giving up four runs in five innings and miraculously losing a game to the Angels which they should have won. Joe Nathan blew the save, giving up two runs in the bottom of the ninth. In all fairness, the game tying hit was nothing more than a fourteen-hop grounder that deflected off the second base bag and eluded the grasp of Nick Punto. Sometimes the bounces don't go your way, and it was a frustrating way for Nathan to blow the save. Once Los Angeles tied the game, the momentum was clearly away from the Twins, and it didn't take long for the Angels to bring the game home. Brian Fuentes mowed down the middle of the Twins order in about a minute and a half in the top of the tenth, and then came the bottom half. Ron Gardenhire must have said something like, "Bounces be damned, I'm going to make sure we lose this game on some solid hits," because he brought in Jesse Crain to lose the ballgame. Crain, fresh from a stint in Rochester, did so in spades, though he did retire two batters (well, one, really -- the other out was a sacrifice bunt). Mike Napoli's two-out double brought home the game winner, and the Twins lost for the second time in three extra-inning affairs on this road trip.

Crain's numbers suggest that he has become the Matt Guerrier of 2009, and with the Twins still unwilling to address their bullpen woes, it will likely spell doom for the club for the remainder of the season. Bobby Keppel gave up a quick run in the sixth inning, as his run of good pitching appears to have come and gone. No doubt Ron Gardenhire will continue to go to Keppel until his ERA starts to offend grandmothers across the Upper Midwest, but for an intents and purposes Keppel's finished as an effective pitcher. What's worse is that in the last week, more than serviceable relief pitchers have been seemingly dealt with ease and have not demanded a whole lot in return in the trade market. Ground ball specialist Cla Meredith with traded to the Orioles last week (who may in turn trade Meredith again before the deadline) for a middling prospect. Just yesterday the Colorado Rockies traded a Class-A pitcher for Rafael Betancourt of the Indians, a guy who's always pitched well against the Twins. Perhaps the Indians didn't want to help their divisional rivals, but I have a sneak feeling that Bill Smith and the front office didn't even inquire as to Betancourt's availability. And former All-Star B.J. Ryan, released by the Blue Jays, was scooped up by the Cubs last week; since Toronto is still on the hook for Ryan's contract, any team signing him would have little financial obligation. But, at least as it looks from up here, Ron Gardenhire and the field staff is more than content using minor-league call-ups, retread wash-ups and never-even-has-beens, and Matt Guerrier than acquiring outside relief help. It's an area that they should have addressed in the previous offseason and came out of it bragging about Luis Ayala, so I wouldn't be surprised if the Twins sit on their hands again.

It had appeared that Ron Gardenhire had come to his senses finally when he put Joe Mauer in the #2 hole for the last two games in the Oakland series. Mauer's been the only guy that has hit in the #2 hole all season long, and on Monday he put Nick Punto in the second hole protecting Mauer; that move is so wrong on so many levels -- I wouldn't be surprised if Tanzania declared war on Djibouti for that stroke of genius. But Ron Gardenhire's a guy who likes to tinker with things that are working and he'll try his darnedest to screw them up again. So for that reason and that reason alone, apparently, Alexi Casilla hit in the #2 hole again. I've said it before: How long does it take Mark Grudzielanek to get into game shape? Casilla was at it again, going 0 for 4 at the plate, striking out twice and looking pretty pathetic doing it. His average is now at a head-shakingly bad .168, and he's 3 for 26 (.115) since being recalled again after the All-Star break. Putting Casilla in the #2 hole is kind of like putting your pitcher in the middle of the freaking lineup, shoulder to shoulder with Mauer, Morneau and company. Gardy -- it was cute before when you'd put Casilla and Tolbert in the #2 hole, but enough's enough. Get your head out of your ass and stop putting minor-league talent in a major-league lineup.

Francisco Liriano takes his 4-9 record and 5.33 ERA to the hill on Friday, and he opposes Angel ace John Lackey. The Twins did do enough at the plate on Thursday to beat Jered Weaver, and they're going to have to be on against Lackey if they want a chance on Friday. More importantly Liriano's going to have to pitch well, and that certainly has not been a given this season.

The MTRC also tips its cap to Mark Buehrle, who pitched the 18th perfect game in major league history on Thursday afternoon. Most impressively it was Buehrle's opponent, the Rays, who are an offensive power that just sent five of their hitters to the All-Star Game. Buehrle's a guy I've always admired for his attitude on the mound, his passion for the game, and his old-school approach. He's the ideal ace starter for his similarly old-school manager in Ozzie Guillen, as both players are a few decades behind their time (and that's a good thing). Though he's certainly been outspoken, especially when talking about the Twins, he's a guy I've always had respect for, and with the type of career he's already had (he's only 30), I wouldn't be surprised if there is Hall of Fame talk when he decides to hang 'em up.

JULY 21, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 3, OAKLAND 2 (10 innings)

A big win for the Twins, coming back from their worst loss in twenty-five years and beating the lowly Athletics in extra innings, 3-2. The Twins and Michael Cuddyer in particular got a break on Tuesday, as Oakland outfielder Ryan Sweeney inexplicably missed Cuddyer's catchable fly ball that ended up being the game-winning triple for the Twins. Granted, it would have been a nice running catch, but did you think that Cuddyer could actually have a clutch hit that wasn't screwed up in some way by the defense? The guy thrives on cheesy hits and pour-it-on run production, and we all knew that if it were Cuddyer that gets the winning run home, it was going to have to be on a play just like that. But, whatever, the Twins will take it, as they desperately needed to pick themselves off the mat after the Oakland Disaster on Monday night. The star of the game was undoubtedly Anthony Swarzak, who surprisingly pitched like a calm and collected veteran on the mound. He made the correct adjustments against the A's, a team that had beaten Swarzak a month ago, and his strong seven inning performance kept the Twins in the game and gave them a chance to win. Thanks to a misplay by Ryan Sweeney, the Twins took advantage.

Matt Guerrier got the win for the Twins, pitching two innings of near-perfect relief. Now, I will say this -- Guerrier is having a great season, but it's as good a time as any to bring up the fact that Guerrier is still in The Doghouse. Guerrier did this last year too -- pitch well in the first half only to implode (and I mean implode) in the second half. Last season he pitched to a 3.35 ERA ERA in the first half (over 45 games) and held opponents to a .241 batting average -- stellar numbers, especially considering that he had assumed Pat Neshek's eighth-inning role in mid-May and was still learning the role. The second half, however, Guerrier went 1-5, had an 8.88 ERA and opponents teed off against Guerrier to the tune of a .336 batting average. Along with the fact that Ron Gardenhire continued stupidly to bring Guerrier into close ballgames, Guerrier was perhaps the biggest reason that the Twins missed out on the playoffs last season, so it's mainly that resentment that's still lingering to this season. Even though Guerrier's been absolutely fantastic this season -- 2.18 ERA, 5-0 record, 0.86 WHIP, .191 opponent's batting average -- my heart still skips a beat every time that he's brought into the game. If Guerrier can put together a solid season -- an entire season, and not just a good half -- he'll be out of The Doghouse, but until then, he's still under hard watch. And think of it this way -- if Guerrier doesn't give up another run for the rest of the season but the Twins don't make the playoffs, that's still one blown season that's on Guerrier's record. So the resentment will always be there.

In a pre-game interview, Ron Gardenhire suddenly turned into Ozzie Guillen for a little bit, and his comments regarding how managers should be able to throw "red flags" like coaches can in the NFL were a little embarrassing. Gardenhire actually said it best after the game on Monday, that Mike Muchlinski's call should not have mattered because the Twins did not deserve to lose. He manned up and took full responsibility for the loss (well, he didn't blame himself, and that's the real issue here, but close enough). Then Gardenhire has to give this interview, and it makes him come off quite unprofessional, whiny, and still lingering on the bad call from Monday. Added to that was the fact that Gardy's "plan" was just plain asinine. I'm still having trouble making sense of the plan, so here it is from the horses' mouth, printed in the Pioneer Press:

"You'd have to have one (challenge) an inning, just for fun," Gardenhire said. "You throw it out and they go, OK, let's go look at it. Have a guy in a box that has a red scorecard and a green one and if (the call was right) he (holds up) green, you got it right, umpire. If you were wrong, you got red. You don't even have to talk."

So the umpires wouldn't look at the play? Some dude would hold up colored placards and that's it? One challenge per inning? Do we want to play a nine-inning game in five hours? I thought Bert Blyleven said it best during Tuesday's telecast, in response to Dick Bremer (not surprisingly) calling for expanded instant replay, "Why do we even need umpires then? Why not just have machines and robots make the calls?" If you're going to expand replay to calls at home plate, then you're going to have to expand it to include calls at all the bases, and then sooner than later you're going to just have a machine call balls and strikes. It's a game played by humans that involves some amount of human error -- Ron Gardenhire is certainly a prime example of a human making many mistakes -- what should be addressed is the fact that minor-league umpires like Mike Muchlinski are simply not trained well enough for the big-leagues. Why a Triple-A ump was given the task of umpiring home plate is beyond me. Clearly Muchlinski was out of position to call the final play on Monday -- what needs to be addressed is that these umpires, whether full-time or substitute, must be adequately trained for the big-leagues. As far as replays go, yeah -- do anything except whatever Ron Gardenhire was blathering about. That's childishly stupid, Gardy.

JULY 12, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 13, CHICAGO 7

The Twins have their hitting shoes on against Mark Buehrle on Sunday, hitting three home runs off the All-Star and knocking him out after four innings. With an 8-1 lead, you'd like to think you're on cruise control, but with the Twins, no lead is safe. Sure enough, Scott Baker gives up a three-run home run to Jim Thome and gives way to the bullpen in the seventh inning. The biggest out of the game was gotten by Matt Guerrier, who induced a pop-up off the bat of the dangerous Jermaine Dye to leave the bases loaded with the score 8-5. Guerrier's first half of the season has really been stellar, as he's not really collapsed as held steady for the Twins. Had Guerrier replicated his second half of 2008 in the first half, the Twins wouldn't be near .500, but of course there's always a silver lining. Guerrier and Mijares have been doing to job fine, but aside from that the Twins still don't have anybody else in that bullpen that can bridge the gap to Joe Nathan. The Luis Ayala experiment was a disaster (did anyone see that the Florida Marlins were crazy enough to bring this guy back to the majors -- I feel bad for those in Miami right about now) and Sean Henn and/or Brian Duensing have been brutal. R.A. Dickey's role was gradually getting more important but has struggled of late and appears to be back in his long-relief role, and for however many times Ron Gardenhire will try, I don't have any confidence that Bobby Keppel will continue to get batters out consistently. That being said, Guerrier and Mijares will be supremely overworked in the second half, and you can expect the same thing to happen this year than last. The only difference is that the division likely won't be at stake, since the Twins will probably fade by August, but expect many more Matt Guerrier Specials in the later months of the season. I can guarantee that.


Speaking of people in The Doghouse, Carlos Gomez had a great game on Sunday, hitting a three-run home run off Buehrle in the third inning and driving in a career-high five runs on Sunday. Does it do anything to get Gomez out of The Doghouse? Not at all. First off, wipe that shit grin off your face -- that's a start. You had arguably the game of your life and your average is still .235. The way Gomez carries himself is a cross between a gangster rapper and a fifteen year old kid; either way it's as unprofessional as it gets. There's a fine line between confidence and stupidity, and unfortunately with Gomez it's the latter of the two. There's a lot of people who keep saying that Gomez is going to be a star in this league, and I continue to doubt that highly. He may have the talent to one day become a serviceable player, but the attributes that need the most honing are his maturity and his instincts, and these are qualities that you've got to earn playing everyday. To put Gomez in a major-league lineup everyday is killing your team. Send him down to Double-A where he belongs and let him get to know the game, because right now he's playing baseball with a set of blinders on. He has no knowledge of what the game is, and his demeanor reflects that. He's never going to learn that kind of stuff playing in the majors and being constantly overmatched.


While we're on the subject of being overmatched, the Twins stupidly made a roster move Monday that will be official on Friday when the Twins resume play after the All-Star break against the Texas Rangers. They sent down Matt Tolbert and called up Alexi Casilla -- why I'm not quite sure. That's kind of like taking a moldy ham sandwich, throwing out the ham, and putting a turd between the two pieces of moldy bread -- it's definitely not an upgrade. Frankly I don't understand the move because I don't know which of the two players is actually worse. Casilla has absolutely no business being on a major league roster; after the Twins called him up after his first demotion he actually played worse than he had earlier in the season. Matt Tolbert's skills are almost identical to Casilla -- terrible offensively, average to below average defensively. Take your pick -- do you want a moldy ham sandwich or a moldy turd sandwich?

ASK HOWIE

There are no games until Friday as I mentioned before, and I would like to fill the gap by asking my readers to submit their questions to me so I can have a sort of "reader's mail" segment at the Minnesota Twins Re-Education Center. Ask me anything, whether it relates to the Twins, baseball in general, the apiary world, Eno, anything you want. I'd like the segment to be posted later on this week, by Thursday perhaps, so get e-mail me your questions to eisenhowermcsteele@gmail.com. Leave your name and your home city in the email, please. I look forward to it!

JUNE 30, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 2, KANSAS CITY 1

Well, that's about as cheesy a win as you'll ever get. Justin Morneau, a few innings after belting his third home run in three games, grounded a surefire double play ball to first baseman Mike Jacobs, who promptly Cuddyer'd the ball into right field, allowing Joe Mauer to gain third base. Mauer would end up scoring what turned out to be the winning run of the game on a Cuddyer sacrifice fly, and the 2-1 margin would hold up. Scott Baker labored through five innings, and now we know what it takes to be a crucial member of the bullpen -- one good appearance. Because Bobby Keppel went four solid innings in relief of Kevin Slowey on Saturday, Ron Gardenhire entrusted Keppel with the sixth, seventh, and part of the eighth inning on Tuesday. Keppel did a fine job, but seriously, Gardenhire? Bobby Keppel's your new eighth inning option after one appearance? Let's not forget that Keppel sucks so bad that he hasn't even pitched in the big leagues for two years, so obviously a scouting report isn't out yet for teams to hit his stuff. Once Keppel got out of the sixth and seventh unscathed, I figured he did his job in his new R.A. Dickey-esque role; even though he didn't allow a run, why are you starting the eighth inning with Bobby Keppel on the mound defending a one-run lead?


At least I've seen the move that Gardenhire made later that inning a million times -- Matt Guerrier coming in with the game on the line. With two runners on and two outs, Gardenhire called upon Guerrier instead of Joe Nathan for the umpteenth time, and in essence gave the assignment of getting the most crucial out of the game to one of the worst pitchers on the team (that's really saying something). But I've accepted that stupidity because I saw it a mile away and Gardenhire's done it constantly. But starting the inning with Keppel? I don't even care that he was effective, that's just plain stupid. I thought that Gardenhire was precipitous in his handling of Sean Henn from minor-league journeyman to eighth-inning "specialist" (by that I mean he specialized in losing games), but the ascent of Keppel from starter in the minor-leagues to eighth-inning pitcher in 2-1 ballgames after one game is puzzling even considering Gardenhire's idiocy.


The bullpen's lack of talent and Gardenhire's lack of wiles when it comes to managing that bullpen with continue to cause problems. Statistically, the 'pen and in particular Matt Guerrier have done a decent job this year, but last year the bullpen didn't lose games regularly until the second half of the season. Considering this year's bullpen is actually much worse than last year's, it will likely be the Achilles heel for the team again. It doesn't exactly exude confidence when guys like Bobby Keppel are called up for the big leagues and thrown right into the eighth inning. What's worse is that the Twins apparently have some big-time prospects in the minor leagues that are tearing it up down there, namely Rob Delaney and Anthony Slama. If ever there's an organization that would rather call up a minor-league wash-up with a 8+ ERA in the big leagues than either one of two guys that have electrifying stuff that could eventually be future closers, it's the Minnesota Twins. I wouldn't be surprised if the deciding factor was financial; calling up Slama or Delaney now would mean that their service time would start earlier than expected, which would mean they would be eligible for arbitration sooner, which would mean that they could demand more money sooner than they planned. With Keppel, the guy's just happy to be in the big leagues, and the Twins have no future invested in him, so he's the cheap (and bad) option for now.


If the Twins win today, that means they would have won each of the three road series on this trip, certainly a success compared to their early season road woes. Glen Perkins pitches for the Twins against nemesis Gil Meche.

JUNE 25, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 6, MILWAUKEE 4

The Twins pick up a nice win in Milwaukee, winning two out of three games at Miller Park. That seems to be the protocol for the Twins against the Brewers the last few years -- they've fared quite well against their neighbors to the east. Scott Baker pitches five solid innings and then hits the wall like he usually does in the middle innings. Fortunately, the Twins lead was such that his two home-run, three-run sixth inning did not give up the lead, and the Twins would tack on a couple of runs the following inning and extend the lead to a safe 6-3 margin. Denard Span had a marvelous return from the disabled list, reaching base four times and really providing that spark that was desperately missing for two weeks. Brendan Harris was doing a fine job there until Ron Gardenhire inexplicably changed things up and put one of his worst players in that spot (either Matt Tolbert or Carlos Gomez). Span is really the only guy on the team who's a natural fit in the lead-off position, and him being healthy means that Ron Gardenhire doesn't have to exercise any more of the all-too seldom brain cells that he has in order to decide who will lead off. For those who didn't think Span was invaluable to the team were supremely educated on Thursday. The Twins won't be winning a division title this season, but Span's presence can at the very least preserve a .500 record.

The bullpen has continued to pitch decent enough, and Ron Gardenhire surprised me by putting R.A. Dickey into the game in the seventh inning. All indications are that it might be Dickey after all who could assume the role that Luis Ayala had on the club (seventh-inning guy), and it appears that Dickey is not as hellbent on extending leads as Ayala apparently was. He's a junkballer, yes, but he's been an effective one at that, and he might as well assume the eighth inning role as well. Matt Guerrier's been garnering some favorable press as of late, but let's remember that he started last season off pretty well too. The cookie that Guerrier threw to Ryan Braun in the eighth inning -- you could see Braun's eyes pop when he saw that pitch -- that's the real Guerrier, folks. He cannot be trusted with leads; well, apparently Ron Gardenhire has faith in Guerrier. He had so much faith last year in Guerrier that he chose the right-hander to be the guy to block them from making the post-season. The frequency of which Gardenhire chose to put the ragged-armed Guerrier into close ballgames last year should raise red flags to gambling monitors. By September if Guerrier was brought into the game it was 100% certain that he was giving up runs. The lingering resentment of one lost division title is the main reason that Guerrier has a permanent spot in The Doghouse, and even if he pitches to a 1.50 ERA this season, he's there for life.

Now the Twins will stop in St. Louis for a three-game series, and will be playing their first games in the New Busch Stadium, which if anything is good for the Twins. The Old Busch Stadium was a bit of a nightmare for Tom Kelly, who went 2-10 there (including, of course, the 1987 World Series). Ron Gardenhire will be managing against the Cardinals for the first time in his career, and it's a long time coming, because Tony LaRussa is probably the manager that Gardy takes after the most. It's LaRussa, after all, that is primarily responsible for introducing the concept of the modern bullpen to the game, wherein the team's designated closer rarely goes more than one inning per appearance, and set-up men, previously a role unheard of, bridged the gap from the starter to the closer. It's revolutionized the game, and no doubt LaRussa has his critics, but you can't argue with two World Series championships, five Series appearances, and umpteen playoff appearances. Pretty sure Ron Gardenhire won't touch that.

JUNE 24, 2009 -- MILWAUKEE 4, MINNESOTA 3

The Twins lose on a Little League home run by the light hitting Jason Kendall, and it was also reported that Ken Macha took the entire Brewer team to Dairy Queen after the game for their spectacular come-back win. There was no such joy in the Twins clubhouse, as Nick Blackburn's throwing error cost the Twins a game in which they should have won. Blackburn's pitched at least eight innings in three straight starts now, which is expected from your staff ace. But in all three of those starts, he's had the lead in the eighth and twice he's blown those leads. Two weeks ago in Oakland he was cruising along with a 3-0 lead and, after an Adam Kennedy home run, the game was tied after eight and the Twins would end up losing in the ninth. On Wednesday Blackburn had a 3-2 lead with two out and nobody on base in the bottom of the eighth inning. All he needed to do was to get out light-hitting J.J. Hardy and his night would be satisfyingly complete. Hardy blooped a single to center field -- still, you're fine, as long as you get out the .230-hitting Jason Kendall. Instead, Kendall hits one off the wall, Hardy scores, and because Brendan Harris' throw got past Joe Mauer on the relay to the plate, Kendall took off for third. Nick Blackburn, who was backing up the play at the plate, threw wildly to third, and the ball went into the outfield, and Kendall could walk home with the winning run. In essence, Blackburn made two bad pitches in the entire game: the pitch that Kendall ripped for the double, and the errant throw he made to third. Not sure why Blackburn even threw to third; as long as you get the next guy out, the game's still tied. It would have taken a perfect throw to get Kendall, and instead you make a terrible decision and a horrendous throw and you lose the game right then and there. Ridiculous.

I imagine Ron Gardenhire will be second-guessed for keeping Blackburn in the game. I'm not one of those people who would second-guess Gardenhire for this move, as Blackburn's your ace and you ought to ride your best pitcher. He had a low pitch count (not that that should matter, anyway) and he was in control of the game. And even though Blackburn chose a really pathetic way to lose the game, it's better than seeing Matt Guerrier lose the game. But the reality is, now that Blackburn's lost leads in the eighth inning twice in three starts, it's probably going to make Gardenhire even more cautious with his starters. I think a reason that Blackburn and all of the starters seem to struggle in the eighth inning is that it's uncharted territory to them. The regime has told them, "give me six or seven good innings and you've done you're job," and because of that mentality that has been driven into them even as early as the minor leagues, when they get to the eighth and ninth innings, they feel that they shouldn't be on the mound. If they're good, they should possess that killer instinct that great pitchers have. Not only do they not have that, but they're managed by a guy who loves to lose with his bullpen. So Blackburn's struggles will likely force Gardenhire's hand. The next time that the Twins are up by a run going into the eighth inning, expect Matty Guerrier to be in there. That means that Guerrier will be pitching a whole lot more than he has already this season, which means that Guerrier will eventually be overused, which means more Matt Guerrier Specials (MGS), which means more Twins losses. So it'll all even out as it should.

Blackburn's eighth inning was pretty pathetic, but it's not as pathetic as the earlier runs that he surrendered. Looking at the Brewer lineup, it's surprising that the team is competing for first place (considering the Twins, that sounds familiar). Aside from Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder, there isn't a whole lot in that lineup that really scares the opposition. The bottom of the order is so bad that it even conjures up a certain sense of Puntoesque Patheticness: J.J. Hardy's hitting in the .210s, Jason Kendall hasn't done jackshit since leaving the Pirates five years ago, and on Wednesday the pitcher's spot was filled by Braden Looper, who was hitting .050 on the season. So of course, all three RBIs that the Brewers got were from Kendall and Looper, who inexplicably got a base hit in the third inning. You don't give up hits to the opposing pitcher, especially ones who are 1 for 21 at the plate. That's tantamount to giving up a hit to Nick Punto -- it's just unacceptable. You look at that lineup and you say, hey, if Braun and Fielder are going to beat us, so be it. They're their best hitters. But you don't give up hits -- game winning hits, no less -- to the sore thumbs of the opponent's lineup. Jason Kendall is terrible at the plate -- you sure as hell don't give up game-winning Little League homers to this guy. The ball almost went over the fence legitimately. We're talking about a guy who has hit six home runs combined in the last five years. Pathetic.

Now the Twins face minor-league veteran Mike Burns on Thursday afternoon, and he opposes Scott Baker, who might have a good start and might have a bad start. He's just so inconsistent that it's been frustrating to watch this season. The Twins likely will have a hard time with Burns on Thursday; after all, they only got three runs off Braden Looper on Wednesday, and he didn't have much to offer in terms of talent.

JUNE 12, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 7, CHICAGO (NL) 4

The Twins quite literally owned Wrigley Field on Friday afternoon, not only beating the hometown Cubs but out-cheering them in the stands. There was certainly a festive air in the stadium with more-than-audible chants of support for Joe Mauer and company overpowering any plaints of fans rooting for the home team. The only point of the game in which the home fans were noticable was when they were booing their hearts out at Milton Bradley, whose Puntoesque Patheticness extended as much to mental gaffes than merely physical blunders. The Cubs are certainly far from contending at this point, but with Ron Gardenhire's horrid record at so-called "hallowed" playing grounds -- Yankee Stadium, Fenway Park -- it was somewhat surprising to see the Twins win a game at Wrigley. Kevin Slowey did good enough to improve to an astounding 9-2 on the season, and then the bullpen carousel took over, as the Twins used five relievers to get the final nine outs of the game.

Let's start with the consistently overmanaged bullpen. Joe Nathan got the save in the ninth inning, but let's face it -- I don't think there's too many people out there, much less baseball players, who can't get three outs before giving up three runs. If I were commissioner of baseball for a day, I think the first thing that I would do is alter the save rule. I think it should be tossed out altogether, as it has now evolved to the point where managers dictate their "closer's" workload around that statistic. Ron Gardenhire is pretty good at ignoring other statistics -- for what reason, besides utter stupidity, can you explain his decision to bat Carlos Gomez and Matt Tolbert in the leadoff position the previous two days in Oakland? Statistics like batting average and on-base percentage (both beyond pitiful in both cases) would indicate that both Gomez and Tolbert suck to an extreme. But apparently Ron Gardenhire doesn't care about stats for those guys. Yet when it comes to Joe Nathan, Gardenhire falls back on the crutch that is the save rule.

There are three ways to get a save in the rule book: 1) pitch at least one full inning after entering the game with no more than a three-run lead and finish the game; 2) enter a ballgame with the tying run at the plate or on-deck (this means that, with the bases loaded, a pitcher can get a save with a five-run lead) and finish the game; or 3) pitch three full innings and finish the game, no matter the score. The third stipulation I would toss out the door altogehter, as those saves are usually picked up by long relievers in blowout victories in which the starter struggled, and there rarely were times of real stress by the pitcher who got the "save." I remember in 1996 when the Twins beat the Tigers in a memorable 24-11 rout; a guy named Greg Hansell, if I remember correctly, got a save in that game by the three-inning save rule -- the team won by thirteen runs. No doubt this part of the rule was reasonable at the time in which the save rule was drafted (in the late 1960s), as relievers back then were expected to go multiple innings at a time, and the "bullpen" consisted of two or three pitchers. It wasn't unusual for Al Worthington or Ron Perranoski, for instance, to go two or three innings for a save.

As for the other parts of the rule, there is an inherent contradiction at play. While giving a reliever a save in a five-run win might be a little extreme, I do agree with it, in that having the tying run in the on-deck circle poses an immediate threat and there isn't much room for error. But when a pitcher comes into a game with a three-run lead (as Joe Nathan did on Friday) and retires the side in order, not once does the tying run even come to the on-deck circle. If I were commissioner, I would amend the save rule by shorten the three-run rule, thus making a two-run lead at the start of an inning being the largest margin possible for gaining a save. With a two-run lead, the tying run is always at least on-deck, and this would be consistent with the second part of the rule which stipulates that the tying run must be at least on-deck.

That being said, when a team has a three-run lead in the last inning, managers should view that as a comfortable enough lead to rest your best pitcher. Or, more importantly, the manager should use his best pitcher when the situation calls for a rally to be extinguished. However, Ron Gardenhire prefers to rely on the save rule and by imaginary standards of modern-day management of a team's bullpen ace. These standards dictate that one's closer should work the ninth inning and the ninth inning alone, and only in a desperate emergency should a closer be asked to do anything more than work either in save opportunities or in non-save opportunities in which the pitcher is asked to get some "much needed work" in because of a lack of save chances. A perfect situation reared its head on Friday and Ron Gardenhire mismanaged it again for the zillionth time in his career. The Twins had a 6-3 lead in the eighth inning and the Cubs had two runners on and two out with the dangerous Derrek Lee at the plate representing the tying run. Instead of using Joe Nathan in a big spot, Ron Gardenhire brought in Matt Guerrier to face the Cubs' clean-up hitter. That's Matt Guerrier, folks, he of the Matt Guerrier Special, he of the "we lost the division last season solely because of Matt Guerrier," he of the hanging-curveball-bashed-560-feet reliever. This is what's crazy about it: in a perfect world, Gardenhire would have had Guerrier get out of the eighth and then had Joe Nathan come on in the ninth with a 3-run lead and get three outs and never have to face the tying run. In essence, he's calling on Matt Guerrier to get the most important out of the game -- now, on what planet does that make sense? You're not paying Joe Nathan $12 million a season for nothing. He's your best reliever in the bullpen -- use him in the situations in which you need your best bullpen arm, not because of some statistical qualification. Fortunately for the Twins, Guerrier only let one of his inherited runners to score, and Jason Kubel's home run in the top of the ninth made it a three-run cushion for Nathan to pick up the cheap save in the ninth.

Anthony Swarzak might be starting for the last time in the bigs for a while on Saturday. He got off to a good start in his first two outings for the Twins, but has struggled in his last two, especially on Monday night in Oakland, when he appeared erratic and could not hold a three-run lead for more than two outs. He faces the Cubs on Saturday against Rich Harden, who's once again fresh off the DL. Harden, always plagued by injuries in his career, has been dominant when healthy, but let's see if the droves of Twins fans in attendance can buoy the team to another victory.

JUNE 11, 2009 -- OAKLAND 4, MINNESOTA 3

Nick Blackburn pitches shutout ball for the first seven innings, and Joe Crede's three-run home run appeared to be enough for the Twins to take three of four on the road from the Athletics. And then the eighth inning happened, and Blackburn gave up the three tying runs, the big blow coming on a two-run home run to Adam Kennedy. The Twins love to pick below-average opponents as their all-time nemeses; most fans will cringe when they remember that the Twins let Kennedy go Reggie Jackson on their asses in the 2002 ALCS against Anaheim, when he hit three home runs in the clinching game of the series. Kennedy has bounced around from team to team since he left the Angels a few years back, and now has surfaced to kill the Twins once more. It's funny -- the Twins have a glaring hole at second base, and Oakland doesn't appear to be in contending mode. The Twins should be thinking of trading for this guy for the mere reason that he won't kill them anymore -- kind of like what they did with Craig Monroe last season. Anyway, after Kennedy's home run, the wind was permanently knocked out of the Twins' sails, and we as fans just needed to know how it was going to happen. It turned out that the reliable Sean Henn-Matt Guerrier combo sucked it up in the ninth. Henn, who was called on to lose a game for the second time this road trip, characteristically walked the only batter he was called on to face, and then Guerrier came in and, well, Guerrier'ed it up, hitting a batter and giving up the game winning single to .239-hitting Rajai Davis.

Blackburn pitched like an ace until the eighth inning, and his performance was certainly good enough to win the ballgame, but the offense, save for the Crede home run, was stymied once again by a young starter, Trevor Cahill. With Denard Span out and Carlos Gomez, as always, being terrible, Ron Gardenhire went with Matt Tolbert, he of the .183 batting average, in the lead-off spot, and Tolbert produced as much as his numbers dictate -- 0 for 4. I'll say it again -- Joe Mauer is everything you want out of a lead-off hitter and more. Obviously it's better for Mauer to be in the 2 or 3 hole, but without Span, Mauer is the natural choice to lead-off for you. He takes pitches, works counts, gets on base, and can drive home runs for you, too. Instead, Ron Gardenhire is addicted to putting talent-deficient "speed" guys in the leadoff hole. The "speed" that they do have is pretty well negated by the fact that they can't get on base, and we all know that you can't steal first base. In his month with the team, Matt Tolbert has proven one thing -- he is not a major-league caliber player, but on the Twins, talent is something that is not needed to have an integral role on the team. In fact, the Twins almost prefer for some of their hitters to sacrifice their talents when they are either called up or acquired. Seldom Young's rookie year with the Devil Rays was stellar, especially for a 21-year old, but since he's put on the Twins pinstripes, he's been a disaster, as the Twins have apparently sucked every ounce of talent out of him, rendering him a zero-tool player. Instead of letting Young blossom into that player that was taken #1 overall in the draft, Joe Vavra has done his best at dicking with Young's swing to a point that he's a totally different ballplayer -- one for the worse, mind you.

The Twins get another chance at facing a young, inexperienced starter when they travel to Wrigley Field and take on right-hander Randy Wells, who has pitched very well in six starts but has yet to notch his first major-league win. The status of Denard Span continues to be in limbo, and with Nick Punto coming off the disabled list, it will be interesting to see who will be in the leadoff position today. My bets are that Alexi Casilla will be sent down when Punto is activated, and also that Punto, probably the worst player that the Twins have, will be hitting leadoff and playing second base, with Brendan Harris retaining his shortstop position. Ron Gardenhire gave a vote of confidence to Harris earlier in the week -- probably the first kind words Gardenhire has ever uttered of Harris -- and by doing so, he surprisingly lets Harris keep the job that he earnestly deserves. With the Twins facing some tough pitching this weekend, any wins will be gratefully taken. Kevin Slowey tries for his ninth win today against Wells.