AUGUST 17, 2009 -- TEXAS 8, MINNESOTA 5

Yet another bad start for Francisco Liriano, and after the game Ron Gardenhire announced that the young southpaw would be placed on the disabled list for a "tired arm," or technically speaking, "suck-itis," which is a disease that has plagued the pitching staff all season long. It doesn't seem like there's any real reason for Liriano to be put on the DL; if anything it may be better for his morale than if the team rightfully sent him back down to Triple-A. My guess is that the Twins are just going to shut Liriano down for the rest of the season and figure out a gameplan for how to use Liriano in 2010 -- either in the starting staff or in the bullpen. In any case, Phil Humber returns from Triple-A, in yet another example of the Twins calling up less deserving guys from Triple-A. Slama and Delaney continue to toil in the minors, and even Juan Morillo, who looked awful in a cup of coffee early in the season, has apparently righted the ship in Rochester and throws absolute gas. But Humber it is; apparently they tried to call up Kevin Mulvey but his phone went straight to voicemail and it's pointless to leave a message at that point because you know they aren't going to get the message for at least a day.


Liriano's line was a gaudy one on Monday: two innings pitched, seven hits, seven runs, two walks, a hit batter, and one strikeout. And this was after he was given a brief lead by Joe Mauer's 23rd homer of the year in the first inning. Mauer, by the way, was the only hitter it seemed that wasn't catatonic, as he collected almost half the Twins' hits (3 of their seven) and pushed his average to .380. For the third straight game, Ron Gardenhire was forced to exhaust his bullpen early, and this time Bobby Keppel came in and did a pretty good job in relief, throwing 3 1/3 shutout innings to provide a little bit of relief and allowing the Twins to get back in the game. Then Gardy had to use Jose Mijares and Matty Guerrier earlier than usual, in the fifth, sixth, and seventh innings; aside from the expected Matt Guerrier insurance run that he surrendered, those innings went fine. Then Ron Gardenhire did a very strange thing: he put in Brian Douchebag, who he had announced would (graciously) start for Anthony Swarzak on Thursday, on the mound for the eighth inning. What??? After the game, of course, Ron Gardenhire told the press that Swarzak would make the start after all because he felt forced (apparently) to use Douchebag in the eighth inning when guys like Jeff Manship, a converted starter who's thrown exactly 2 1/3 innings since being called up last week, were more than available to pitch. This was the second straight game where Ron Gardenhire made some curious moves with his pitching staff (sending in Jesse Crain in the third inning on Sunday, when the team is glutted with long relievers) and it's further proof that this man is purely bat-shit insane.


One piece of good news that did occur for the Twins on Monday was their signing of first-round pick Kyle Gibson. In classic Twins fashion, the deal went right down to the deadline, as the two sides agreed to terms about ten minutes before the midnight deadline. Gibson's a college pitcher, and this is an organization that's suddenly pitching thin, so Gibson's signing, though his impact at the major league level is a few years away at the least, is good news for the club. Hell, the Twins need to fill Liriano's spot in the rotation on Saturday -- I wonder what Gibson's up to that day? It can't be any worse than the prospect of seeing Douchebag or Phil Humber out there. And it keeps getting funnier (but sad at the same time) to hear Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven still believe that the Twins can make a run. Take a look at their starting rotation -- how on earth can teams even ponder the idea of postseason baseball when Thursday's starter comes into the eighth inning on Monday and Saturday's starter is potentially flying in from Triple-A? The acquisitions of Orlando Cabrera and Carl Pavano (Tuesday's starter) continue to be dwarfed by their divisional rivals -- the White Sox will try to plug their fifth-starter spot in the rotation by Freddy Garcia, and more importantly the Tigers addressed their biggest weakness (the lineup) by getting Aubrey Huff from Baltimore for virtually nothing (a Single-A reliever). Huff's 73 ribbies will fit in nicely in that order and make Detroit that much better come playoff time. But, hey, keep us informed on that "three-team" divisional race in the Central, Dick.

Photos: (1,2) AP/Tony Gutierrez; (3) University of Missouri Media Relations