JUNE 20, 2009 -- HOUSTON 6, MINNESOTA 5

One day after rinky-dinky cheese-ball scores them five runs (well, three legitimate runs, not counting the Seldom Young line drive that was misplayed into two runs), the Twins power their way to five runs, all via the long ball, and they lose the game 6-5 due to their bullpen. The game was a throwback in many ways to the Twins of 2008, when Ron Gardenhire regularly lost the game with his pathetic bullpen. This time around he takes out Scott Baker with the lead in the seventh inning and entrusts Sean Henn with a lead for the umpteenth time, and for the umpteenth time, Henn comes in and loses the game. We all know that Gardenhire is obsessed with his bullpen pitchers having set-in-stone “roles”; but the rapid ascension of Henn from career minor-league journeyman to seventh-inning left-handed stopper on a “competing” team is baffling even to Gardenhire’s most outspoken critic. Henn did nothing prior to assuming this new important role to suggest that he could hold leads and be anything close to reliable. But Ron Gardenhire has embraced the idea that Henn is a guy who can come into close games late and lose them pathetically. After all, Henn’s lost three games in two weeks since becoming that guy, and with Matt Guerrier having an uncharacteristically “good” year, all indications are that Henn is quickly becoming the new yukster in the ‘pen, a Guerrier version.2009, if you will.

When Gardenhire took Baker out, it was expected that Sean Henn would definitely not hold the lead. The only thing up in the air was whether Henn would produce the true Matt Guerrier Special (MGS), in which the reliever not only gives up the lead but puts his team behind by at least two runs. Henn came through in spades, as he gave up the tying hit to .200-hitting Jason Michaels and then a two-run home run to the power-deficient Michael Bourn, who absolutely mashed the ball into the right field football seats. In every sense of the word, Henn’s MGS was efficient, as he faced three batters, gave up two hits, two runs (in addition to the inherited runner who scored), and took the loss. His ERA is quickly climbing to that level known as, well, Sean Henn career numbers – by that I mean the 7.50 range. He came into the season as a career minor leaguer whose major league numbers would offend somebody’s mother-in-law, and after a few deceivingly “good” appearances for Ron Gardenhire in mop-up duty, Henn had “proven” himself for the Twins and thereby was called upon to lose games on a regular basis. To add insult to injury, Ron Gardenhire put in Luis Ayala when he yanked Henn three batters too late, and Ayala came through again with his role, which is to extend opponent’s leads. Lance Berkman fouled one off Ayala that went half-a-mile, then he dutifully ripped one that was definitely fair over the fence. Berkman’s home run ended up being the winning run – how many times does Luis Ayala give up the winning run but fail to get any negative attention lavished on him? He’s certainly immune to the microphones of Fox Sports NoTruth, who were busy lionizing Nick Punto for getting his average over .220.

Speaking of St. Punto, his patheticness had to leave the game after a head-first slide apparently bruised his ribs in the middle-innings. Hooray! As my earlier feature “In The Doghouse” stated, I am all for Punto’s head-first slides, as one of these days he’ll seriously injure himself and thereby not be available for Ron Gardenhire to put him in the everyday lineup. I always thought it would be a separated shoulder, but bruised ribs? I’ll take it. It was getting almost unbearable to hear Dick Bremer and Ron Coomer to take turns lauding the exploits of Punto. They were heaping praise on Punto during his first at-bat, and he ended up grounding out weakly to the second baseman, and Coomer was extolling how “even in his outs, he hits the ball hard.” WHAT??!?! The rest of the lineup didn’t produce much of anything outside of the four home runs hit by the top of the order. Three of the four bombs were of the solo variety (Brendan Harris, Joe Mauer, Seldom Young) and one was a two-run shot (Jason Kubel). Following a familiar script, the top of the order came through while the bottom of the order failed to contribute anything, and the Twins paid for it. All they were able to manage off of retread Brian Moehler (3-4, 6.66 ERA, .322 opponent’s average) was four hits and three runs in six innings, and Moehler ended up with the win. That’s absolutely unacceptable, especially for a team that would like to consider themselves “contenders.” You don’t lose to pitchers like Brian Moehler if you fancy yourselves a good team.

Glen Perkins goes Sunday against Wandy Rodriguez, who’s a pretty good lefty for the Astros. For a team who sucks so bad on the road, it is imperative for the Twins to win the rubber game of the series. A 4-2 homestand against the fifth-place Pirates and last-place Astros is nothing to write home about, but it’s better than 3-3, and they need all the wins that they can afford at home if they plan on sucking it up on the road. How about some production from Justin Morneau, eh? He plain hasn’t done squat in the last few weeks, and frankly he’s looked ugly on some swings. As I’ve said before, the team will go only as far as Mauer and Morneau take them; Mauer’s been pulling his load, but Morneau has not. Not surprisingly, the Twins are only hovering at the .500 mark.