JUNE 19, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 5, HOUSTON 2

The Twins cheesed their way to a 5-2 victory over the last-place Houston Astros, as Kevin Slowey pitched good enough for his incredible tenth win of the season against two losses. The Twins' runs were produced via a sacrifice fly, a squeeze bunt, a Michael Cuddyer double and a Seldom Young "double" that was in reality a ball lost in the lights by outfielder Jason Michaels. The offensive production was what people love to call "Twins baseball," which is pretty much a euphemism for "rinky-dinky cheese-ball that's good enough to win division titles but nothing more." It's actually nice to see line drives hit across the field and it's refreshing when your team wins because they hit the ball with authority. It doesn't need to go over the fence, but it looks better and sounds better when batters make good solid contact with the baseball. But I'm a Twins fan for life, and I suppose I have to accept this brand of baseball. I get it -- Nick Punto can't hit the broad side of a barn, and he's basically a pitcher at the plate, so why not suicide squeeze with Punto at the plate. It's sure as hell better than having Matt Tolbert lay down a suicide squeeze -- we know what happens then.


But wins like these are almost so cheezy that you're kind of
embarrassed to be a Twins fan, like saying it's the only way that we can consistently win, by bunting and hitting high choppers that turn into turf hits. Hey, it's going to win you some division titles and give you a good story for Tim Kurkjian to write about how a small-market team "consistently competes," but when playoff time rolls around, you're going to realize that the teams that are actually good, that have relied on talent to get them to the playoffs, are going to roll over you time and again. Even the 2006 Oakland A's, who weren't all that talented but are the epitome of anti-smallball, beat you handily. This isn't the '80s, when teams like the Cardinals and Astros regularly competed with the speed-based, Astroturf-assisted smallball that the Twins are apparently following. Classic Ron Gardenhire -- playing the game 20 years behind its time. Next year things are going to be different without artificial turf. I have a feeling that the team will remain largely the same, and the philosophy of small ball will still be intact. With Target Field playing totally different than the Metrodome, that could lead to some horrible results.


Slowey uncharacteristically walked four batters in his six innings, but Ron Gardenhire, one game after Nick Blackburn put forth the first (and perhaps only) complete game of the season, apparently thought that his starters couldn't go past six innings on Friday, so he characteristically lifted Slowey after ninety pitches for good ol' Matt Guerrier for the seventh inning. Guerrier pitched a clean seventh, though of course not without a mild heart attack, and Jose Mijares came on for the eighth inning. Mijares gave up a home run to some guy named Jeff Keppinger, which is unacceptable. The Twins have been doing this way too often lately -- giving up home runs to "some guys" -- people that you've never heard of that are pathetically terrible. I'll list the players who got home runs in the Pirates series and raise your hand if you've even heard of any of them -- Naijer Morgan, Andrew McCutchen, and two LaRoches (Andy and Adam). Now career journeyman infielder Jeff Keppinger goes deep on them. Terrible.


Then in a move of utter surprise, Ron Gardenhire brought in Joe Nathan to face Miguel Tejada to close out the eighth inning. It's the second time this month that Gardenhire has stooped to this level -- by that I mean make the obvious, correct managerial decision. Nathan got Tejada to strike out, and in the bottom of the eighth Seldom Young got his cheezy two-run lost-in-the-lights double to pad the lead and thereby seal the win for the Twins. Scott Baker goes tonight against Brian Moehler, he of the very hittable stuff and devilish 6.66 ERA. Twins better win.