SEPTEMBER 7, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 6, TORONTO 3

The Twins use a five-run first inning against Blue Jays starter Scott Richmond to coast to a relatively easy win for the Twins on Labor Day. No win, of course, comes easy to the Twins these days, but especially considering the fact that the Twins hadn't won in Canada since Brad Radke started a game, the Twins victory over the below-.500 Jays was certainly worth noting. After that first inning, the Twins' bats went to sleep as if they were still in Cleveland, but the damage was done, and six pitchers were able to fend off Toronto the rest of the way. One thing that I have learned from the 2009 Twins is that no lead is safe, so even after the five run first, we knew that that just wouldn't be enough for Jeff Manship and company. To give the pitching staff credit, they did buckle down when they needed to, inducing two pop-ups with runners on third and less than two outs. With the Tigers idle on the holiday, the Twins actually gained ground on first-place Detroit; however, with the Tigers in Kansas City ready to feast on the Royals and the Twins ready to struggle against Toronto like it's 2007 (especially with Roy Halladay in the rear-view mirror, coming off a one-hit shutout of the Yankees), don't expect the Twins to make any serious movement towards first-place anytime this week.

Michael Cuddyer and Justin Morneau both snapped their long hitless streaks with cheesy base hits in the first inning -- Morneau's was a seeing-eye fourteen-hopper through the right side, and Cuddyer's was a one-handed lob shot that doinked into center field. If the Twins want to retain their hold on second place, these two guys will have to pick up the slack, Morneau in particular. Cuddyer's garbage and we all know it; Morneau is the key in this equation. It might be that he's still feeling the ill effects of those dizzy spells he came down with in Texas a few weeks back, but it does appear that a late-season swoon has become commonplace for Morneau. Had Morneau had a better September last season (and in particular that last homestand where he simply didn't show up), the Twins would have made the postseason and he may have deservedly won another MVP title. Again, he picks the absolute worst time to go into an extended cold slump, and when Morneau's not hitting, that effects everyone in the lineup, most of all Joe Mauer. Cuddyer's a fifth wheel on the team who's best known for his "sloppy seconds" approach to run-production; namely, when the runs are to be had, Cuddyer's got no qualms about getting a little piece for himself. When the game's on the line, Cuddyer chokes more than a donkey with a small esophagus, and that's the extend of his "value."

Photos: AP & The Canadian Press/Darren Calabrese

SEPTEMBER 6, 2009 -- CLEVELAND 3, MINNESOTA 1

The nail-in-the-coffin road trip that I thought would really come to fruition in Toronto has blossomed a little premature with the Twins' second pathetic effort in three games against the second-division Indians. David Huff was a guy who the Twins just pummeled the first two times facing him, and on Sunday all the Twins were able to scratch across against Huff in seven innings were two measly base hits in the fifth inning. Add to the fact that Nick Blackburn gave up three back-breaking two-out hits, and that's a formula to lose a game in which you desperately need to win. It's not the formula that the Twins have used all that frequently in the second half -- they love to use the "three-inning, seven-run performance by a starter" formula, but the hallmark of a bad team is that they find different ways to lose. The Twins aren't simply one-track losers; they can scratch and claw their way to losses and, most importantly, be creative in their patheticness. Case in point Sunday, when they use a botched run-down to directly lead to the Cleveland insurance run. Michael Brantley had just knocked a two-out single to score the go-ahead run, and the throw to the infield was cut off, and Brantley was a dead duck between first and second. But, because of the Twins' ineptness, they fail to get Brantley out, mainly because Michael Cuddyer playing first base has no clue how to defend his position. Sure enough, Brantley would end up scoring on a base hit in the next at-bat. Though the extra run certainly wasn't needed considering the Twins offense on the road, it was yet another stroke of the hammer banging down on that coffin nail.

Contrast the Twins' sluggish performance on Sunday against a miserable opponent with the Tigers' character-building classic comeback against Tampa Bay. Down 3-1 with one out in the ninth, Brandon Inge hit a grand slam home run, leading the Tigers to a 5-3 win that extended their division lead to a comfy seven games. Though the Tigers' magic number is 20, that home run might have damn well clinched the division for Detroit. A three-game sweep on the road against the defending AL champs, in which all three games featured the Tigers scoring late runs to win the game, is proof positive that the Tigers are for real. Can you see the Twins having that impressive of a series on the road against a good team? The Twins can't even win two out of three against the Cleveland Indians -- facing the team with the second-worst team ERA in the league, the Twins scored a whopping seven runs in the entire series (it certainly doesn't help when your "stars" like Cuddyer and Justin Morneau are in extended slumps -- 0 for 16 for Cuddyer, 0 for 19 for Morneau). As I've said before, the lone drama that will unfold here in September is whether the Twins can hold on to second place. Before the season I predicted an 82-80 third-place season for the Twins, a prediction that resulted in sneers and derision and skepticism from overly optimistic fans who banked on the notion that 2008 wasn't an outrageous fluke. Though I hoped I was wrong, I just didn't see how certain players could duplicate their success in 2009 (guys like Casilla and Buscher and the entire starting staff). Unfortunately, it looks like my prediction has turned out to be precient, though I would like to see the team put it together here at the end and finish above .500.

Photos: AP/Tony Dejak

SEPTEMBER 5, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 4, CLEVELAND 1

Scott Baker extends his great run of pitching since a disastrous first two months of the season, as he notched his eleventh win in his last twelve decisions, beating the lackluster Cleveland Indians 4-1. Baker labored through six innings, throwing 100 pitches, or what's known around the Twins clubhouse as "time to throw in the towel," and Baker kindly obliged, letting the bullpen finish the task and help Baker secure his 13th victory of the season. Things must have been clicking for the Twins, as even Nicky Punto got two hits, including the game-tying double in the fourth inning that also scored the eventual winning run due to a Jamey Carroll error. Coupled with the White Sox dominating the wild-card leading Red Sox and the Tigers mounting a terrific comeback against the defending American League champions, not only does the Twins win against lowly Cleveland look like small potatoes, but they were unable to make up any ground on Detroit or extend their lead over third-place Chicago. Six games out with 27 games to play, it's becoming increasingly clear that the Tigers are going to win this division. Expect the bottom to fall out on the Twins not here in Cleveland but in Toronto, which has been nothing short of a house of horrors for them the last three-four years. Dropping at least three of the four games against the Blue Jays will likely put the nail in the coffin for the Twins.

For the Twins sake, they would like to hope that their ultimate collapse doesn't come until a week from now, for the mere reason that football season has officially started and with the Gophers opening TCF Bank Stadium and the Vikings employing the Brett Favre circus, Minnesota sports fans' attention is going to quickly divert from the Twins. The Gophers' overtime win against Syracuse on Saturday was a good game to watch and breeds hope for Brewster's Millions, who perenially come into every season with high hopes that are traditionally dashed by mid-October. And with this season being perhaps the most-anticipated Vikings season since perhaps the arrival of Randy Moss, people are going to drop the Twins like a sack of potatoes here in a week or so. It's the general psychology of being a sports fan in a prime market -- you follow the teams that you can when they're in season, and when there's an overlap, you focus more intently on the club that's less likely to rip your heart out. Now I know that there are some folks out there that would like to argue that the Vikings are more classic heart ripper-outers, but around here at the MTRC, it's nice to know that the pressure of sucking isn't relegated to Ron Gardenhire's bunch.

Nick Blackburn tries to follow up his only good start of the second half today against David Huff, a guy who the Twins have twice burned and then were burned by him in his last appearance against them. Considering the embarrassment that's going to happen north of the border, the Twins better win today to save face.

Photos: (1) AP/Mark Duncan; (2) AP/Kevin Rivoli

SEPTEMBER 4, 2009 -- CLEVELAND 5, MINNESOTA 2

The Twins follow up their most deflating loss of the season with perhaps their worst overall effort, losing pathetically to the Cleveland Indians, 5-2. The Twins were just plain sloppy in all aspects of the game on Friday, committing four errors in the field, receiving a mediocre-at-best start from the mediocre-at-best Carl Pavano, and again failing to hit anything of notable authority against Tribe starter Jeremy Sowers. Orlando Cabrera was quoted as saying that he thought the offense needed to pounce on Sowers, what with his 5+ ERA coming into the game; fortunately for Cabrera he didn't have to be on the team in the past, when they pretty much hit with their hands tied against Sowers. Scattering six hits against Sowers and that not-so-vaunted Cleveland bullpen is simply not going to be enough for you any day of the week, especially not one in which your defense doesn't show up and your pitchers don't make good pitches in key spots. Brendan Harris led the way with two errors at third base, all but solidifying his spot on the bench for Saturday's matinee in favor of the Fantastic Nick Punto. I, for one, really look forward to that. In fact, I'm steeped in anticipation.


The Twins certainly had chances at the plate to cut the deficit that Pavano put them in, notably in the fifth and sixth innings against Sowers. Alexi Casilla, back under the Mendoza line where he belongs, grounded into a rally-killing double play with runners on first and second in the fifth inning, and Michael Cuddyer continued his two-out, runners-in-scoring-position non-brilliance in the sixth inning, when he flew out measly to the outfield with two men on base and the Twins down by a run. Cuddyer's now batting .172 on the season in those situations, and if you expand those numbers, it becomes clear that this guy does all of his damage in low-pressure situations. With no one on base, Cuddyer does just fine -- .305 average, 18 home runs, .982 OPS. But he's a totally different player with guys on base, hitting a mere .236 with a .704 OPS. And you have to factor in the reality that Cuddyer really comes to play when the rout is on. He's best known for his eighth-inning three-run home runs that extend the Twins' lead to 13-3. Really crucial hits, you know. Back to Friday, the threats that the Twins mounted in those two innings was enough to prompt Eric Wedge to go to his bullpen, but the likes of Tony Sipp and Jose Veras and Kerry Wood would breeze through the Twins in the late innings, not allowing a hit for the final three innings.

Scott Baker goes for the Twins today against Justin Masterson. The last time Baker faced the Indians he shut them out on two hits, by far the best start by any Twin this season. Has anyone noticed that Baker's gone 10-1 since June started? That has certainly flown under the radar for me, and he'll have to continue that hot streak if the Twins want to stay in second place.

Photos: (1) AP/Mark Duncan; (2) http://www.citypages.com/

SEPTEMBER 2, 2009 -- CHICAGO 4, MINNESOTA 2

Probably the worst lost of the season. One of those games where you look back on your season after it's over and you put a big red circle around this game. The White Sox were reeling. They had lost five straight and had just traded two of their veterans, apparently waving a white flag on their season. Joe Nathan had two outs, nobody on base, and an 0-2 count on Gordon Beckham, with the Twins leading 2-0. Beckham worked the count full, plastered a fastball into the left field seats, and Paul Konerko would do just about the same exact thing in the very next at-bat to tie the game. Two walks later would prompt The Brain to inexplicably take Nathan out of the game in favor of Matt Guerrier. Such a dick-head move by Ron Gardenhire, yet so predictable. What's better, Guerrier sucks so much that he grooves an 0-2 curveball down the heart of the plate to Alexei Ramirez, who pasted it to left to drive home the game winning run. A wild pitch during the next at-bat would complete the Matt Guerrier Special, which is extra special in this case because Guerrier's stats are completely clean according to the boxscore. That's what makes Gardenhire's move that much more of a prick move -- you let Matt Guerrier allow runs that go on Joe Nathan's ERA while Guerrier gets off scot-free. And Joe Nathan's your best pitcher -- I don't care if he walked three batters in a row, you don't replace your best reliever for Matt Guerrier with guys on base. Joe Nathan has earned the right to get out of his own mess. But, since Ron Gardenhire (rightly) let Joe Nathan pitch 53 pitches in Kansas City like three weeks ago, he's been extra cautious with his closer, and that in turn has led to this game slipping through his fingers.


Mike Redmond has to be commended for putting his two cents into losing the game for the Twins. On Ramirez's game-winner, Denard Span's throw to home beat pinch-runner DeWayne Wise by ten feet, but the old, craggly Redmond couldn't field the one-hopper, or much less block the plate, and allowed Wise to score. Then on Guerrier's wild pitch, Redmond put forth a quasi-effort, the sort of effort that screams "well I'm damn near forty and these knees are barkin' dogs right about now, but I still get the respect of the manager and the fans, so they won't really mind because Guerrier sucks anyways." Mike Redmond looks old on the field and more importantly he plays old. The talent that he has in terms of athleticism left him a few years ago, and the only value he has anymore is that of a mentor. Sadly, you don't pay mentors millions of dollars a year, or at least you shouldn't (try telling that to a team that pays Nick Punto $4 million dollars more than what he's worth). Jose Morales' pinch hit single in the bottom of the ninth raised his average to a mere .362, but hey -- don't think for a second that he's better than Mike Redmond. No sirree Bob.


A deflating loss like this not only drops them a critical game in the standings, but it takes the momentum that they had built over the past two weeks and throws that out the window. Now they embark on a seven-game road trip against Cleveland and Toronto, two second-division ballclubs, but that surely doesn't mean it's going to be easy for the Twins. Case in point Friday's starter for Cleveland, southpaw Jeremy Sowers, who throughout his career has posted some ugly numbers (5.07 career ERA) but has somehow been able to be very stingy against the Twins (3.35 ERA in five starts, including a complete-game shutout). And don't get me started on the struggles the Twins have had against the Blue Jays -- they've amazingly lost twelve of their last thirteen games against Toronto, and haven't won north of the border since April 2006. Most importantly, the 2009 Twins team has continued to be an enigma, and their two-week stretch of near-brilliance may just as easily be backed up by two weeks of gut-wrenching futility.

Photos: AP/Ann Heisenfelt

SEPTEMBER 1, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 4, CHICAGO 3

Jeff Manship does a yeoman's job as a spot starter, tossing five innings of one-run ball to keep his team in the game, and Jose Morales, he of the "I shoulda been playing in the majors all year long but the team likes its no-talent character guy bring-your-lunch-in-a-lunchpail Mike Redmond more," delivers the game-winning hit in the bottom of the ninth inning to give his team the victory. Tom Kelly was quoted as saying that Jose Morales is "the most professional hitter" the Twins have in Triple-A, which is saying something whe you see how many non-professional hitters the Twins have on their major league roster (Redmond, Nick Punto, Alexi Casilla). Morales' hit bailed out Matty Guerrier, who delivered another Matt Guerrier Special in the top of the eighth inning when he gave up the game-tying home run to the first batter he faced, Gordon Beckham. Jon Rauch got his second victory in two appearances since becoming a Twin, quickly making a name for himself as the vulture of the bullpen.

Morales' hit also bailed out Carlos Gomez, whose ninth-inning at-bat with the game on the line is such an epitome of the terrible hitter that Gomez is that it will certainly not go unnoticed. After Jason Kubel singled off Sox reliever Matt Thornton to start the inning, Brendan Harris singled pinch-runner Nick Punto over to third base with one out. That's the situation: first and third, one out. A sacrifice fly would win the game. In all likelihood a ground ball up the middle might end the game, because Gomez's speed is such that a double-play would be tough to turn. In short, Gomez has plenty of ways in which he can make an out and the game would be over. But, as I've mentioned in my Doghouse post on Gomez, he is probably the last player on the team that I'd want at the plate in this kind of situation. Everyone in the building knows that Gomez is going to strike out; it's not even a question at this point. You might as well name a church after Gomez if he actually produces the run because that's damn near a miracle in my book. Sure as shit, Gomez strikes out, and everyone gets to forget about that folly because Morales came through in the next at-bat, pinch-hitting for Alexi Casilla. My question is this, Ron Gardenhire: why not pinch-hit Morales for Gomez?

The Twins go for the sweep this afternoon with Brian Douchebag on the mound facing Mark Buehrle. The Tigers beat the hapless Indians on Tuesday, so the Twins remain three and a half games behind Detroit for first place. Every game from here on out is crucial, and especially when you're facing a team that's down and out like the White Sox, you need to win these games.

AP: (1) AP/Ann Heisenfelt; (2) Getty Images/Jonathan Daniel

AUGUST 31, 2009 -- MINNESOTA 4, CHICAGO 1

A solid game for the Twins, in which they actually get a good pitching performance from Nick Blackburn, who notched his first win since Ron Gardenhire's ingenious idea to rest a sinkerball pitcher for ten games straddling the All-Star Break. Granted, the win came against the Chicago White Sox, who traded Jim Thome and Jose Contreras after the game and most likely were working on deals to send Jermaine Dye and Scott Linebrink to other contenders, too. Six games out with a month to go, the White Sox have basically risen to white flag, and will try to collect themselves for a serious run next season. Though it's not the best PR-type move, it's probably the correct move, as the White Sox acknowledge (especially after starting this crucial roadtrip 1-7, playing top-eschelon teams like the Yankees and Red Sox and finding out that they just can't compete with the cream of the crop) that they won't go far this season, even if they make the playoffs, and players like Thome and Contreras are in the declining phases of their careers anyway. Their two top acquisitions, Jake Peavy and Alex Rios, are real pieces of their future rather than temporary stopgaps to win a weak division this season (Orlando Cabrera and Carl Pavano, anybody?).


Getting back to Monday's game, it was nice to see Nick Blackburn turn the corner, as he's going to be perhaps the most important piece in the Twins' drive to a division title. Scott Baker and Carl Pavano are certainly not a scary 1-2 punch, and without a solid 3 behind them (Blackburn), their weaknesses are going to be greatly accentuated. If Blackburn can pitch even half as good as he was going before The Brain had his genius idea to rest him for ten days between the All-Star break, the Twins' playoff chances are going to be that much better. If not, that means more pressure on guys like Jeff Manship (making his first major-league start tonight [gulp]) and Brian Douchebag, and if you thought at the beginning of the season that the Twins would be depending on Brian Douchebag and Jeff Manship, you'd probably have laughed, and hard. Glen Perkins apparently isn't the answer, as he was optioned down to Triple-A after he was activated from the disabled list, but hey, there's potential help on the way -- Boof Bonser might be ready to pitch by the end of the season!! Here's a guy who's so bad that his 2008 season made the Matt Guerrier Horror Show look like Sesame Street. Not that Ron Gardenhire lost any sort of faith in the guy, what with his 5.93 ERA and all.


You probably noticed that there was nary a mention of the rumor that the Twins had claimed Rich Harden off waivers from the Cubs and were trying to work out a deal with Chicago for the right-handed power pitcher. I've been around the block with this club to know with absolute certainty that that sort of move just never happens with this club. Sure, Harden would've been a great pick-up, likely becoming the staff ace (by default, no less). But it's just entertaining to think how those trade talks would have went. Cubs GM Jim Hendry would have explained to Bill Smith his side of the story:
HENDRY: "He's a free agent at the end of the year and we'd get two high draft picks if we lost him, so we're not just going to give him away for nothing. How 'bout that Valencia that you've got, and we kind of like that Rob Delaney, too."
SMITH: "Well, how's Matt Tolbert, Yohan Pino -- oh wait, I just traded him last week -- um, Armando Gabino, and I've got this two-for-one coupon from Domino's..."
HENDRY: "What? OK, how about either Valencia or Delaney or Slama and then a lower prospect."
SMITH: "You're right. Tolbert's just too much like the player we want around here. Frankly I don't know what Ron's doing with Tolbert in Rochester. So, how about Tyler Ladendorf? He's good, you know. And I've got this thing with Netflix, where I can give new customers a 30-day trial for free. I'd get a free rental by referring you, so it'd help us both out. Do you have Netflix?"
HENDRY: [click]
SMITH: "Jim?"

Photos: (1) AP/Paul Battaglia; (2) www.sethspeaks.net; (3) AP/Paul Beaty